Here for the shit posting, not for the drama. Casual RP blog for Ciaphas Cain, will do asks and casual interaction! Otherwise blogs about 40k and yammers about story analysis.
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Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr posted its first advertisements in May 2012 and subsequently earned $13M in revenue.
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Ciaphas Cain propaganda photo looking illustration
Alfonso "Al" Williamson (1931-2010), ''Visions'', #3, 1981
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a lot of artists dont know how to draw bullets and to be real it bothers me a lot. here's my simple guide on bullets
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The Shadow Crusade
The Shadow Crusade burns across Ultramar, a war of gods and monsters. Argel Tal and Khârn—brothers bound by battle—carve a path through ruin, one embraced by the warp, the other teetering on the edge of madness. Blood spills, worlds fall, and in the end, only war remains.
By George Vincent
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Had a Ciaphas Cain novel dream last night.
He was on a planet that had banned alcohol and he was hanging out at a tea bar and was casually inquiring where he could acquire some booze. A guy told him he had a hookup and they went to a speakeasy type place. Cain got a glass of wine and he asked where it was from while sipping on it. The guy pulled out another guy and said "Watch."
The second guy held a bottle to his mouth and made a face like he was going to start whistling, and wine started pouring out of his mouth. At that moment Cain realized that everyone at the speakeasy was acting very altered and he realized that this was some Slaaneshi shit he'd stumbled into and he made his excuses and got the hell out of there.
He was on the planet with Amberley, so he ran to her immediately to be like "hey everything's fucked, I found your cult btw." She was like "great, bit late though, my staff is all fucked" and explained that a dignitary had served them some wine and they'd been taken out by whatever mind altering substance was in the drinks. Both of them then said "Where's Jurgen?"
Meanwhile Jurgen was in a small side room setting up a personal distillery so that he could start making moonshine, because Cain and his lady deserved better alcohol than whatever nonsense rubbish the locals were making. He'd gone out to also get some illegal alcohol but he'd taste tested it and without the mind altering effects of the Slaaneshi magic on it, it was basically toilet wine.
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It was a real winter 4-day hike in full Warhammer cosplay. During the day - hiking along the route, at night - spending the night in a tent by the fire. Equipment and food for the entire hike from start to finish were in backpacks.
On the Valhallan Ice Warrior feet, you can see snowshoes, which were the only way to walk through the snow-covered forests and mountains.
The squad consisted of: Commissar Ciaphas Cain, his loyal assistant, Gunner First Class Ferik Jurgen (on a pict), Colonel Regina Kasteen. The picts of this operation are declassified due to the expiration of the statute of limitations. They will be published here periodically.
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Belisarius Cawl sketch
2023
Commissions
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Night Lords gopnik cusses vol1
If you believe that Night Lords are secretly gopnik, and you want to make their cussing more expressive, here's a list of best Russian cusses for you - translated & contexted. Let's roll!
а поебаться тебе не завернуть?
Translation: “Wanna wrap up and fuck off?”
Meaning: A dismissive, aggressive way to tell someone to get lost or stop bothering you, implying they’re wasting time.
Example: The Exhalted snaps at Talos in the Strategium, “A poebat’sya tebe ne zaveranut’?”
а сто хуев - большая куча?
Translation: “A hundred dicks a big pile?”
Meaning: A sarcastic retort questioning someone’s complaint or exaggeration, implying their problem isn’t a big deal.
Example: Uzas laughs as a brother complains about a lasbolt grazing his armor. “Sto khuev—bol’shaya kucha?” he cackles.
в душе не ебу
Translation: “I don’t fucking know.”
Meaning: A blunt admission of ignorance or confusion, often with frustration.
Example: Xarl glares at a tech-priest babbling about a malfunctioning warp drive. “V dushe ne ebu,” he mutters.
война - хуйня, главное маневры
Translation: “War’s bullshit, maneuvers are what matter.”
Meaning: A cynical dismissal of grand conflicts, emphasising strategy or survival over ideals.
Example: Cyrion ducks a daemon’s claw and sneers, “Voina—khuinya, glavnoe manevry,” chopping off the creature’s head.
��олосуй не голосуй, вот уже получишь хуй
Translation: “Vote or don’t, you’re still fucked.”
Meaning: A nihilistic jab at futility, suggesting outcomes are rigged or inevitable.
Example: Mercutian watches slaves beg for freedom at a mock trial. “Golosuy ne golosuy, vot uzhe poluchish khuy,” he drawls.
дневальный! подай станок ебальный!
Translation: “Orderly! Fetch the fucking-machine!”
Meaning: A crude, barked order, often humorous, for a mundane item, like a shaving tool.
Example: Variel, flaying a prisoner’s skin for armor, hisses at a trembling serf, “Dneval’niy! Poday stanok yebal’niy!”
ёбарь-перехватчик
Translation: “Cock-blocking interceptor.”
Meaning: A playful or mocking term for someone who ruins plans or interrupts pleasure.
Example: Talos curses as a Harlequin jetbike foils his ambush. “Yobar’-perekhvatchik,” he snarls.
ебись оно конем
Translation: “Let it fuck a horse.”
Meaning: A dismissive curse, wishing something frustrating would go away or fail spectacularly.
Example: Xarl glares at a jammed plasma cannon, sparks flying. “Ebis’ ono konem,” he spits.
ебать мои саночки
Translation: “Fuck my little sledge.”
Meaning: An exasperated exclamation, often humorous, for a situation gone wrong, like “damn it all.”
Example: Uzas slips on ice mid-charge, his chainaxe skidding. “Ebat’ moi sanochki,” he roars.
заработать хуем по затылку
Translation: “Earn a dick to the back of the head.”
Meaning: To deserve a harsh, humiliating punishment for stupidity or failure.
Example: For their efforts, the First Claw was on many occasions dangerously close to "Zarabotat' khuem po zatylku" from the Exhalted.
и рыбку съесть, и на хуй сесть
Translation: “Eat the fish and sit on the dick.”
Meaning: Wanting to have it all—greedily seeking two incompatible rewards.
Example: Mercutian catches a brother hoarding both gold and sacred relics. “I rybku syest’, i na khuy sest’,” he scoffs.
каждый кулик на своём хую велик
Translation: “Every snipe’s a king on his own dick.”
Meaning: Everyone boasts about their own importance, no matter how small their domain.
Example: “Kazhdy kulik na svoyom khuyu velik,” Mercutian says thoughtfully, looking at Abaddon from afar.
какая пизда тебя родила
Translation: “What cunt birthed you?”
Meaning: A harsh insult questioning someone’s origins or worth, implying they’re despicable.
Example: Talos faces captive Ruven. “Kakaya pizda tebya rodila?” he marvels at the traitor.
кого ебёт чужое горе
Translation: “Who gives a fuck about another’s grief?”
Meaning: A callous dismissal of others’ suffering, emphasising self-interest.
Example: Xarl ignores pleas from fleeing civilians. “Kogo yebot chuzhoye gore?” he growls, bisecting a militia leader.
на моих золотых полчаса как спиздили
Translation: “My golden half-hour got fucking stolen.”
Meaning: Complaining about wasted time, especially precious moments.
Example: Uzas curses a delayed duel with a World Eater. “Na moikh zolotykh polchasa kak spizdili,” he snarls.
на одном месте не уебёшь — надо перетаскивать
Translation: “You can’t fuck it up in one spot—you gotta drag it around.”
Meaning: A sarcastic remark about spreading chaos or failure across multiple efforts.
Example: Cyrion watches a botched boarding action spiral. “Na odnom meste ne uyebosh—nado peretaskivat’,” he mutters.
нас ебут, а мы крепчаем
Translation: “They fuck us, and we get stronger.”
Meaning: A defiant boast about resilience in the face of adversity.
Example: Talos rallies his squad under orbital bombardment. “Nas yebut, a my krepchayem,” he roars.
ни в пизду, ни в Красную Армию
Translation: “Neither to the cunt nor the Red Army.”
Meaning: Something utterly useless, unfit for any purpose.
Example: Uzas tosses aside a jammed lasrifle. “Ni v pizdu, ni v Krasnuyu Armiyu,” he growls.
носим ношеное, ебём брошенное
Translation: “We wear what’s worn, fuck what’s abandoned.”
Meaning: A grim acceptance of scavenging and taking what’s left behind.
Example: Variel patches his armor with looted ceramite. “Nosim noshenoye, yebom broshennoye,” he mutters.
понеслась пизда по кочкам
Translation: “The cunt’s off bouncing over the bumps.”
Meaning: Things have spiralled into a chaotic, unstoppable disaster.
Example: Uzas laughs as explosions rock the structure and the debris starts falling. “Poneslas’ pizda po kochkam,” he cackles.
таких друзей — за хуй да в музей
Translation: “Friends like these—grab ‘em by the dick and stick ‘em in a museum.”
Meaning: A sarcastic jab at unreliable or useless allies, suggesting they’re only good as relics.
Example: Cyrion glares at a renegade marine who fled mid-battle. “Takikh druzey—za khuy da v muzey,” he chuckles.
соси хуй утопленника!
Translation: “Suck a drowned man’s dick!”
Meaning: A crude, dismissive insult, telling someone to get lost or do something repulsive.
Example: Xarl shoves a begging scavenger away. “Sosi khuy utoplennika!”
слово за слово, хуем по столу
Translation: “Word for word, dick on the table.”
Meaning: An argument escalating to a point of no return, like a crude showdown.
Example: In the Umbral Claw’s war room, Talos and the Exhalted communication often followed "Slovo za slovo, khuem po stolu" pattern.
шахтёрам — кресты, инженерам — пизды, директору — нары, владельцу — Канары
Translation: “Miners get crosses, engineers get fucked, the director gets prison, the owner gets the Canaries.”
Meaning: A cynical take on societal hierarchy, where workers suffer, bosses escape, and the rich thrive.
Example: Ruven watches slaves toil under the whips. “Shakhtyuram—kresty, inzheneram—pizdy, direktoru—nary, vladel’tsu—Kanary,” he notes to himself.
хуй сосали комбайнёры
Translation: “The harvesters sucked dick.”
Meaning: A crude dismissal of someone’s failure or incompetence, often mocking their efforts.
Example: Variel scoffs at a serf’s failed attempt to repair a looted machine. “Khuy sosali kombaynory.”
#Russian cussing#what a beautiful language#I mean that sincerely I own a book on how to cuss in Russian
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does anyone wanna siege Dorn’s apartment and I can record it and make that my upload tonight?
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