ask-frederick

[ask-frederick]

A Meditation:

“Godsbreath, what was that?”

{OoC - Um… an ask that was in queue for almost a decade?}

“Heavens, C… what have you been doing all this time away? Our inbox is full to bursting, this page of ours is derelict, and many of our good followers haven’t heard a word from you in years. Explain yourself.”

{OoC - Yeah, about that: I found an extremely fulfilling career as a clinician, moved to a completely new city, fell in love, and also became a leader in a local organising group. It’s been exhausting, but I’m pretty happy with the direction of my life to date.}

“Oh! Well, that certainly is good news. I had feared you dead after all this time away.”

{OoC - Not yet, but that isn’t for any lack of trying. Our world is… kind of going to hell right now.}

“Gods… fell dragon? Wicked cult? Mad king?”

{OoC - Huh… I guess you could say it’s the latter two. And a global pandemic. It’s been a really long time, hasn’t it? Man, I’m sorry, Frederick. And I apologise to you too, readers. Part of what’s been keeping me away has been life catching up with me. I don’t even write for pleasure anymore; it’s all committee resolutions and clinical reports these days.}

“Hm. What are you doing to keep yourself together? Surely you’ve not been at this through sheer force of will.”

{OoC - That would be your department, Frederick. I’m not the kind of freak who can cure a cold with a single sneeze. I do what I can, but I definitely do need an outlet.”

“Might I recommend an end to your hiatus?”

{OoC - No. You, this blog, and this little corner of Tumblr was a wonderful part of my life for a very long time, but I can’t commit to helping you answer an ask a day anymore. I can barely commit to exercising as much as I should.}

“But you are keeping up with your fitness regimen, are you not? Heavens forbid, C, must I write you a Frederick’s Fanatical Fitness Hour routine to follow? If you’ve not been keeping up with your running, then—”

{OoC - NOT NECESSARY! I can still run a faster than most men my age and I’ve actually gained a bit of muscle since I was on here last.}

“Splendid. Then you’ll not object to returning here on an occasional basis? Perhaps once a week?”

{OoC - …Once a month.}

“Once every other week? You do have a considerable amount of asks to help me through, and you missed our tenth anniversary.”

{OoC - Fine. One ask on the second and fourth Sunday of every month. Take it or leave it.”

“Given the life you lead now, I’d say that is a fair offer. Consider it a deal. I shall hold you to this.”

{OoC - Geez, what am I getting myself into? Y’know what? I do want to get back into writing for the sheer pleasure of it again. Let’s give it a shot, Frederick! Friends, for whatever it’s worth, I guess I’m back!}

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I know that you scoff at the food from our world, but I believe that if any of our recipes or foods were made in your world, it would probably be infinitely healthier than in our world. Mainly because our food tends to have some unsavory toxins in them

“...Then why in heavens would you swallow? Is your world so bereft of nutritious food that your people are forced to eat the scum scraped from the bottom of barrels or is supply simply so great that producers cannot afford to produce quality ingredients? Unless the leaders of your world are governed by their pocketbooks rather than their concern for their people, it is unfathomable that they would allow this to go on to the point that citizens such as yourself have accepted it as normal.”

“Whatever the case, good visitor, perhaps the people of your world ought to weigh the ease at which they produce food against the potential harm that it might do to them. Is a quick meal worth a slow death over a long period of time or would investing in locally-sourced, consumer-approved agriculture be worth the expenditure of time and gold?”

“...Though, then again: poor Dorcas nearly succumbed to a bit of bad mutton he ate. I shan’t speak to the quality of Bern’s sheep, but I imagine the poor fellow ate a leg of lamb that was not properly stored and served to him rancid.” 

“Well... that or poison. But then again: who would put poison in Dorcas’s mutton? The man lives and breathes for his wife, and is as gentle and soft-spoken as they come. *sigh* Thoughts like these are precisely why it is so important to build a reliable army and trust nobody.”

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Y’all know this reference.

[ask-frederick]

Sir Frederick, do you ever plan to retire? That is, will you appoint a successor to watch over Lord Chrom and Lady Lissa and their kin, so that you can spend your remaining years recovering from all the shenanigans they've gotten into? Or will you simply stand by your Lord's side till you leave this mortal coil? I understand you are a warrior in your prime, but it never hurts to get your affairs in order.

“I believe I should like to follow Sir Jagen’s example of serving as my lieges’ shield well into my autumn years. If I am fortunate enough to make it beyond that, then I suppose I shall have to hang up my sword and pass my mantle onto a worthy successor. Doing that, however, will not relieve me of my duty as a knight of the realm.”

“Should I ever be forced to step off the battlefield (be it because of age, injury, or whatever else have you), I would stay on to lend Lord Chrom my counsel and keep him in check from time to time. Having known milord since he was but a child, I can say that he has grown into a good man and a true ruler. I can also say that certain tendencies he has come as natural to him as breathing does. I believe that time will temper his more reckless inclinations, but heavens help us all if – at seventy – milord comes crashing through a wall while training his grandchildren.”

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She saved a lot of my physical units from peril many a time

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pun contest

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Literally conquest

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does this count as blasphemy? 🤔  [reference]

[ko-fi] [commissions] [redbubble] [twitter] 

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Spring has arrived and thus it's time for spring cleaning for the castle. While you have a staff of bulters and maids for this task, have you asked the fighters of Smash Bros.? I'm sure there are plenty who are willing to help and can perform the task in half the time. The Mario Bros. has those gadgets that can clean and blow the dust away, Ness and Lucas can use phychic powers to lift heavy objects and the inklings can give the castle a fresh coat of paint.

“Good stranger, I had most of the maids and butlers dismissed from Castle Ylisse some years ago when one of them made an attempt on my young liege’s life. It was an unpleasant experience -- to be sure --  but one made entirely out of necessity. Those we kept on merely see to the care of the royal family, while a thoroughly vetted team of groundskeepers to see to the castle’s upkeep... and then there’s me. When Lord Chrom and Lady Lissa needn’t my protection, I keep myself busy by scouring the castle of dust and debris one room at a time. One might think it beneath my station, but I daresay it is an excellent workout and a source of some much needed alone time.”

“...time our compatriots from the Smash Tournament would be intruding upon, I’m afraid. Even barring that, I fear they do more harm than good. Mario’s oddly sentient water device sprays with enough force to cut through stone, Luigi’s bizarre suction contraption can suck the souls from the deceased, Ness and Lucas’s powers are far more destructive than I’m comfortable with, and the inklings...”

“Dear gods, the inklings... Their ‘paint’ comes from their bodies. Coating Castle Ylisse in... that... would raise some serious health concerns.”

“No, good stranger, I believe I shall see to the spring cleaning myself. It’s far easier for me to organise, and besides... *ahem* I’ve been told that all manner of trouble follow our friends from abroad when they set their minds to a task. Heavens forbid our world has to contend with sentient sludge, ghosts, malevolent cephalopods, or... er, extradimensional terrors beyond our understanding.”

[ask-frederick]

{OoC - Out of the blue Animal Crossing stream! Jump in for island hopping fun!}

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Byleth brought this to the Battle at Gronder

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Frederick, how often do the Shepherds bathe? Is body odor a problem?

“Only as far as few Shepherds are concerned. For the most part, cleanliness is an important part of representing the realm. Each Shepherd is given a bar of soap every other week and is required to see to their own personal upkeep. We restock on fresh water whenever we are able, typically travelling from one civilised area to the next or by rivers and streams when in unfamiliar territory. Attendees of Fitness Hour and other training programs are dismissed to the showers after a good work out, and it’s all but required for returning soldiers to wash up after a battle.”

“However, water rationing is an important thing to consider. In arid places like Plegia, the luxury of regular bathing must be halted. In these circumstances, our Plegian allies come in quite handy. From them, we have learned that one doesn’t always need water to keep their body clean. Certain oils may be purchased cheaply in those regions and be applied to the body with a cloth to keep a person clean and fresh. What’s more, the desert sand is apparently cleansing in of itself. Many Plegians evidently see the act of bathing in water as a wasteful and frivolous practice.”

“In any event, most of the Shepherds take good care of themselves, and body odour is seldom a problem… until we begin to talk about Gaius. One might accuse me of being a classist for picking out a man from the slums for scrutiny, but commoners like young Donnel and even Vaike take better care of themselves than that filthy lout. Heavens forbid, I’ve heard that someone caught him rinsing out his hair in a watering trough meant for horses the other day. How he lives with himself is well beyond me.”

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Claude went to visit fam after exams…

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I’ve found my people, the Fantasy Slavs

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Three Houses Timeskip designs but with facial hair