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@skwigelfskwisgaar

Nat'an, I has new idea for time travel. Dis time we use de bags whats frozen food can be put unsides of. Reusables. De shiny foil must make it works better, no?

Yeah I mean. It stops Aliens, right? Those are what stops them? The bags with the foil?

Wait, maybe its... Alumimum foil. Alumeinan. ....Alunimon.

You know. The shit that stops aliens. Either way, I like how you think, mama.

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are you open to pegging

Sure, I love playing pirates.

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Dude I need chip recommendations, you got any?

Cool ranch doritos, of course. A plain chip is divine, too. Sun chips are good. If you wanna spice up your dorito, sweet chili heat is also good.

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How long have you stayed inside today? I know you’re anti social but talking to the band doesn’t count as human interaction. Go outside and cause the apocalypse or something

Been there, done that. Not looking to cause another one.

And uh, yeah? It does count?

How many hours are in a day? 24? So, uh.... 1, 2... 4... 20... Uh... I guess I've been inside for 24 hours.

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Do you ever just pretend you can’t hear Pickles due to the height difference between you two?

Huh, sometimes yeah. It's pretty fuckin' funny. Little guy jumps up and down, waving his arms, red in the face to get my attention.

He makes it hard to ignore him for long, though.

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CODE RED CODE RED: CHARLES OFFDENSEN HAS BEEN SEEN SPENDING TIME, MONEY, AND AFFECTION WITH A WOMAN. THE ROBOT IS GETTING LAID BEFORE YOU.

Go outside and talk to people for 5 minutes as punishment

Absolutley not. Good on Charles though, I'll get him to tell me all about it later.

......Wait. Why am I being punished?

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What would you do if Murderface ever came to the Mordhaus with a girlfriend/boyfriend/a person he didn’t have to pay to agree to spend time with him and care for him? Especially if they were extremely attractive too. (the whole honey attracts flies theory is in play here)

What would I do? I guess, like... Be happy for him or something... Something gay like that...

Honestly, the day that happens, I'll just be fuckin' impressed. And you know, after all the shit with the doomstar and, y'know, everything. ...He deserves that.

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If you found a random spider in the shower who would you ask to take care of it?

No one, I can take care of that shit myself. Scoop that motherfucker up and bring him outside.

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good boy but in the way you praise a hunting dog after you have it gore something

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-`🕯´- 𝖜𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘, 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖑𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖌𝖚𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖚𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖚 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖆 𝖘𝖆𝖋𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 -`🕯´-

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Oh shit I've got a burger in the fridge. Democracy works!

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HIIIIIIIIII☺️

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Hi...

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Your tongue was made soft and your teeth were made hard for a reason. Speak softly and gently, word your thoughts with grace. All things that are true and worth saying can be said kindly. And if people don't listen, bite them in the face.

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They were, um... Ice cream cones, right? That's what it was? I don't remember.

He makes us more money, but he doesn't like giving it to us. Maybe if I ask real nice, he'll lend us a couple hundred thousand for a quick bender.

Writing a song is easy, all you've gotta do is jot down the few words that pop into your head throughout the day, then when you think you have enough to put them all together, like. 9 times out of 10, you've got a motherfuckin' song.

Unless you're Murderface and Toki.