ask-supervisor-heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Dear Supervisor Heert,

I appreciate your prompt response and shall updated our records immediately. I once again apologize for the oversight.

I have taken the time to check the status of your complaint against Supervisor Lagret, as requested. It appears to have been waylaid until we could look into another case, one from [redacted] regarding the consistent presence of a Tooka on ISB premises.

After referring to the precise rules stated in each report, we have deemed that as you do have an official document for an Emotional Support Animal, your complaint overrules the other on file, and we will be taking your concerns into account and speaking to Supervisor Lagret- as well as adding this to his file in our department. We appreciate your patience in the matter.

I know I would be devastated if something belonging to my dear Pepper was ever thrown out. That must have been so upsetting for Mister Phantom. I hope he has fully recovered and you were able to find a suitable replacement. If you ever have another complaint, feel free to contact me directly so that it does not get lost in the shuffle.

Sincerely, Ashlynn Kwa Imperial HR

Dear Ms. Kwa,

I appreciate your care addressing this concern. Mister Phantom is slowly recovering from the loss of his box. I have given him all the boxes I confiscated from Lonni Jung and Dedra Meero’s office after I removed the contents but evidently it is not enough. He has been clawing my furniture at home as a result. I’m fortunate I only have metal furniture in my office for this reason, so it is really best that he spends the day with me. I am glad to hear that HR understands our perspective.

Please give my regards to Pepper.

- Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Reading this has convinced me to never take a day off ever again

dedra waited until heert had a day off so she could have all the glory of capturing luthen while avoiding interference. but what if lonni waited to flee until heert’s day off too? they worked closely together, and heert is literally by his side all the time. perhaps heert’s absence made it easier for lonni to access those files. either way, it’s just really funny that heert having a day off is a domino in the collapse of a galactic empire

[ask-supervisor-heert]

To the person who has been leaving saucers of green milk in the hallway,

Please cease this behavior. I understand you are trying to be nice to Mister Phantom, but tookas cannot consume green milk. It makes him projectile vomit, and I do not want to deal with that ever again in my office. Thank you.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Have you read Karis Nemik's "The Trail of Political Consciousness"? If so, please give us your thoughts!

Dear Sparkling Ash,

I have no need to read "The Trail of Political Consciousness" as I heard it many times far before anyone else in the ISB. For context, I have suffered the annoyance of being haunted by one Karis Nemik since his death some five or so years ago, if I recall correctly. I found his message quite naive from the moment I heard it and told him this quite bluntly. Besides the fact that it is blatantly anti-imperial, I also felt that there weren't enough concrete examples behind his argument. There's a lot of emotion in the piece, but I need to see the data before I'm convinced of any theory.

So, the point is, he doesn't like me, and I don't like him or his work. But he doesn't have another medium and so at the moment, he's a little like an annoying office roommate, and he's been distracting from my far more interesting reading options. There is nothing more annoying than when I'm trying to read my romance novels and there's this spectral voice blabbering about how "freedom is a pure idea".

-Supervisor L. Heert

(OOC: None of this is a reflection of the mun's actual political ideals.)

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Autopsy report concludes that Dr Gorst suffered some sort of accident involving a cake.

His office also abruptly exploded shortly afterwards.

Sounds about right. Dr. Gorst had a sweet tooth. He tried to appeal to me once with bakery treats. He clearly wasn't aware that I have a boyfriend and Type I Diabetes, so the situation was awkward all around.

Regardless, he did not deserve to die by cake explosion. But such is life.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Hi supervisor! I’m going to Coruscant this weekend, and will be staying around Tomkip Towers. Any recommendations on what to eat or what to do when I’m over there? I heard the bodegas on Coruscant have some nice snacks.

There is a tooka cat cafe one block away from Tomkip Towers that has good lattes and lots of fluffy tookas. I would go more often if not for the fact that Mister Phantom and Mister Toffee have been banned from the establishment. I don't blame the owner. Mister Phantom can be a bit of a menace in public at times, and Mister Toffee broke one of the espresso machines.

Besides that, if you are into water rides, the Imperial Amusement Park opened their water park branch in the Tomkip District. I've been once with my annual pass and quite enjoyed it.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Ever since the incident with the KX droid, I've been talking with my therapist and realizing that I need to stop letting people treat me like a human shield.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

...

...

...

(do u like supervisor jung?)

Well, I did until I found out certain things about him, and now I just feel manipulated.

The trouble is that I am technically now his only living "friend", since apparently, I'm the only living ISB Officer who can see dead people. But what I need him to understand is just because I can talk to him doesn't mean I want to talk to him. You cannot simply use someone like that and then come back to them thinking "oh, because I'm dead, everything between us is fine now and I can ask Heert to pass messages onto my living relatives". Galaxy-shattering news to Supervisor Lonni Jung, it doesn't work that way!

In any case, I told him that I need space. Maybe things will be better if I get a genuine apology, but even then, I need space.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

hello supervisor! was just curious on your opinions of dedra’s boyfriend and if you two have met besides that time where you both interrogated him- and how that went? also, how do you feel about dedra dating him considering that he was a suspect at first- and your personal thoughts about him?

It depends on how one defines "meeting him". If throwing water balloons at him with high accuracy from the 8th floor window of the Imperial Security Bureau Central Office because he was lurking about the premises constitutes "meeting him", we have met many times. I don't know how he enjoyed those meetings, but I certainly did.

I would personally never date someone who was fired from corporate security and still has delusions of joining the Imperial Security Bureau, but I don't have any say in Supervisor Meero's personal decisions. For the record, I did offer to set up her dating profile on one of the many imperial dating apps that allow you to filter by branch of the military, but she wasn't interested.

-Supervisor L. Heert

(OOC: No ooc hate towards any ships of course.)

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Would the owner of this rather rundown Corellian freighter please move their vehicle immediately or face towing and a Class 8 space traffic violation? This lot is reserved for ISB-affiliated individuals. It is also a speeder lot (i.e., larger spacecrafts are not allowed). There is abundant signage stating this fact (blocked from view in the image above by this oversized freighter which has taken up over a dozen spots).

I hate having to post these notices during my vacation, but my attendants have been calling me about it, and I know how costly it is to pay for parking as an attendant.

-Supervisor L. Heert

(OOC: mun is at Galaxy’s Edge 😄)

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Dear Supervisor Heert,

After the complaints we received from Supervisor Meero about alleged "stalking" a few years prior, it has fallen to us at Human Resources to conduct an annual review to ensure safe working conditions. I was going down the list and noticed a glaring hole in our records - I apologize for the oversight - but what on Coruscant is your first name? I cannot seem to find one anywhere. Thank you for your time and work. All hail the Empire! P. S. This blog is quite the gem. I adore hearing about your cats.

Sincerely, Ashlynn Kwa Imperial HR

Dear Ms. Kwa,

My first name is Lionel.

Since you are from HR, could you possibly check on the status of my recent complaint concerning Supervisor Lagret? He filed a complaint against my tooka cat who is a registered emotional support tooka and therefore permitted in the office. He also threw away a box from my office which was Mister Phantom's favorite box, which is both a violation of my personal property and Imperial Environmental Protection laws.

-Supervisor L. Heert Imperial Security Bureau

OOC: Thank you! I enjoy writing this blog and appreciate the ask!

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Dear the coolest and fruitiest ISB supervisor (that's a compliment),

Really happy to hear back from you! 🤩 Lastok sounds like a pleasant guy, I hope you both are treating each other well. Do you often do dinners together at your place? And I heard he's a pilot (I'm absolutely not slicing into the records whatsoever)! I bet he's got a really really cool ship parked in your backyard. Do you also have a checklist full of planet destinations for you and Lastok to visit during leaves? What's your go-to other than Niamos?

I could hook you up with a friend of mine who owns this beautiful villa in Naboo. Full discretions—I won't tell anyone. Just hmu when you've decided!

Sincerely,

Zest (a big fan of yours)

Dear Zest,

Firstly, I take great pride in that superlative.

Lastok and I are doing well. We're on our shore leave to Niamos which has been extended and paid by COMPNOR on account of recent events happening to me in the workplace. We enjoyed ourselves exploring the boardwalk and watching otters. The KX droids are also much better behaved here than the ones on Coruscant.

Apart from Niamos, I've visited his family a few times on Pasher and he's gone with me to visit my found family in the D'Astan Sector. His parents actually have a time share for a villa on Naboo that they won in an imperial vacation lottery. We've been there once before and it was quite enjoyable.

Regarding Lastok's career (the nonconfidential aspects, of course), he's an Armored Transport Pilot, so everything that he pilots would be a little big to keep in the parking lot for my block of flats. Though I am sure he would love to have his own AT-AT, I don't think the ISB Command would like for him to pick me up from work in that.

He actually has a COMPNOR-approved social media account that he uses to post various matters about the army life and sometimes our daily life. It's very wholesome, and I know he'd appreciate the followers.

-Supervisor L. Heert Imperial Security Bureau

[ask-supervisor-heert]

He was there yesterday. When we arrived to present our reports to the Emperor. The man who's not supposed to exist. The man in the mask...

If you're referring to the Phantom of the Coruscanti Opera House, I can confirm that he does in fact exist and I have had numerous encounters with him.

As for the other men in masks, it was carnival week by the Chandrilan calendar recently, so that might explain an increase in men in masks. I don't personally celebrate, but I'm aware of it due to my planetary origins.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

I don't think I need to remind you that the Emperor is not a patient man. He demands constant reports and he expects progress.

I've always been on-time with my reports and the only time my progress has been hindered is because of certain people who I will not name trying to sabotage my work on my one day off a week which they only knew about because I offered to take her cat to the groomers for a tooka spa day with my cats because I was trying to be the civil one and restore a friendship and she used that to betray me, and consequently, I have what my therapist calls "deep trust issues".

In the meantime, please be aware that I will be going on COMPNOR-sponsored leave to Niamos for the next 10 days and am officially exempt from status reports during this time. This was decided by the imperial court in which I stated that I would not be filing a lawsuit against the Department of Uniforms or the manufacturer of the KX units provided that I am entitled to certain workplace benefits moving forward, for which this vacation is one of them.

Sending good vibes and glory to the Empire.

-Supervisor L. Heert Imperial Security Bureau

[ask-supervisor-heert]

have you been to niamos before? what do you recommend for aspiring tourists?

I've been there once with my aunties when I graduated from secondary school and another time with my ex. I'm going again with Lastok soon. He's never been but has always wanted to, and I've finally saved up the vacation time and funds.

I would recommend the aquarium. They have a lovely spot where you can look at the tide pools and watch the wild otters. They also recently opened an Imperial Amusement Park there. I love the one on Coruscant and as compensation for my recent workplace injuries, the ISB granted me an annual pass that works at the Niamos location. So, I'll be going with my boyfriend and possibly doing some livestreaming for COMPNOR.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

So, apparently, the dream about the KX droid was not a dream. Apparently, I've been spending the last few days having out-of-body experiences while physically being in the hospital after a KX droid "used me as a human shield", to quote my partner. I'm still very confused by this, but at least it would explain why the cats were acting as if I was a ghost.

Thanks to the wonders of the Imperial Healthcare System, however, I was prescribed the medication Wohemos and have consequently returned home from the hospital. I highly recommend the Lina Soh Medical Center. Their trauma surgeons are incredible.

The cats have been happy to have me back. It seems Lastok brought them to visit me while I was unconscious, and consequently, Mister Phantom is now barred from the Lina Soh Medical Center for attacking a physician. But I think he's just protective of me.

Sending all the best vibes and glory to the Empire.

-Supervisor L. Heert

[ask-supervisor-heert]

Hey Supervisor, just checking in!! Hope you've been doing well, send my love to your many loth-cats!! How's the ahem significant other doing? 👀 Mind telling us about him? I overheard conversations in the mess hall that he sounds lovely! ✨

Dear orangez3st,

I appreciate the good wishes. I have been better, all things considered, but the galaxy goes on. The cats are doing well. Mister Phantom presented me with a destroyed mini MSE droid the other day and cost me 5,000 credits worth of equipment replacement charges, but he had such fun with it, I cannot fault him.

My boyfriend, Lt. R. Lastok, is a very handsome soldier. We moved in together shortly before I was promoted to Supervisor, and this is by far the best relationship I have ever had. Quite frankly, looking for a partner amongst the Imperial Army was one of the best changes to my dating life I ever made. I love the ISB, but the men here are either thrice my age or emotionally detached or both. And the navy men just tend to be too clingy from my experience. They're trapped on an ISD all day, sitting in the bridge pit bored to tears, so they will literally text you nonstop during work hours. And I think that maybe if I was in a career path with a lot of free time, such as the Department of Standards, I might be more inclined to find that kind of obsessive attention appealing. But quite honestly, I think I outgrew that after my academy days.

In contrast, Lastok is very supportive of my career as I am of his. We bonded initially over our preference for black caf and our ability to see ghosts, but it's grown much deeper since then. Most importantly, Mister Phantom has only clawed him twice, which means he loves him.

-Supervisor L. Heert Imperial Security Bureau