ask-the-devine - Tumblr blog

[ask-the-devine]

Danny, all the money's gone! All of it!

What the fuck are you on about? Trying to fucking give me a fucking heart attack, hey?

[ask-the-devine]

Scare my character with one sentence

[ask-the-devine]

Has anyone actually paid you on time?

Oh, lots of fucking people pay me on time. Usually have to threaten to whore their fucking wives out, but they pay up. Then the losers who borrow spare change can usually get it in on time--but that's just the fucking way of the world, yeah?

[ask-the-devine]

So any girlfriends or boyfriends?

Who the fuck's asking? I don't have fucking time for a fucking love life, and even if I did, it'd be none of your fucking business.

[ask-the-devine]

Give me tips to find a way to your birdie heart?

Excuse me?

[ask-the-devine]

Aye Danny Devine I spy. I heard of you amongst me shipmates, how you push the scurvy rats around fur payments and such. I almost dare you to try to me. I might be a lass but I'm a tough lass at that...

I don't fucking know what you're yammering on about. Do you owe me money?

[ask-the-devine]

If you have that telephone why do you use dat car?

I don't think you really understand the idea of a phone--I'll fucking explain it, yeah? See, a phone is a wee machine that let's one person talk to another person when they're not together. It's like a fucking telegraph, but you don't need a translator. A car is a machine that you get in and go places.

Does that fucking clear up your confusion then?

[ask-the-devine]

Well if it isn't Danny 'Fucking' Devine!

It might be. Who the fuck's asking?

[ask-the-devine]

(you know you want to)

[ask-the-devine]

DANNY CAN I GET A REPRIEVE?

Who the fuck's asking?

[ask-the-devine]

Eh, Danny, what would you do if you were stuck in a fucking place where everyone around you gets sick all the time and fucking whines all the time? Any advice?

Tell 'em if they wanna fucking whine, they should whine to a fucking doctor. Then take a vacation. Some tropical island or summat so you can get some rest and vitamin E or D or fucking whatever.

[ask-the-devine]

What the FUCK do I want? Now Daniel, swearin' isn't a fuckin' nice thing to do now is it? Nor is it pleasin' for a lady to read such things!

Maybe you shouldn't fucking read it, then.