ask-the-nine-links

[ask-the-nine-links]

Sooooo… Four, did you know that Legend has the Four Sword somewhere in his bag (or with the hoard of items at his house)?

Unrelated to the sword, he also traveled with his two doppelgängers, both left-handed swordsman named Link. He never got a purple one, though.

Four: Vet, I've been told this a dozen times so far-

Legend: Alright, I'm nipping that at the bud. No, I do not have the Four Sword anymore, I returned it to the palace. Yes, I did travel with two other Link doppelgängers, I don't know why the colors are important. No, they will hopefully not show up to join us.

Four: Well, damn, there go all my questions. What if we-

Legend: No, we will not be going to Hytopia either. Hopefully. I don't think I can deal with it if we do get thrown over there right now.

[ask-the-nine-links]

*runs to Four, picks him up and hugs him*

*hands Wild a random apple and a block of cheese I found*

Ok bye!

*leaves*

Four: What the f-

Wild: Thanks, I think? Should I be concerned as to where you find this stuff?

Four: You mix your food with random bugs you find on the ground, and this is what makes you hesitate?

Wild: Hey now, I don't mix bugs with food anymore! That was only when I first woke up. Plus, this food could be poisoned or something and I don't feel like testing that today.

Four: You know what, that's fair.

[ask-the-nine-links]

Slow updates for a while

Sorry this is happening again so soon, but updates are going to be irregular for a while until I can get through college cell hell and organic chemistry. After that, updates will be more frequent!

Thank you all for your patience! <3

[ask-the-nine-links]

Knowledge is important my children.

*Gives Legend, Wild, Wind and Hyrule books with swear words in different languages*

Learn my children, learn so that nothing and no one can stop you.

Legend: Bold of you to assume I don't already have books like this.

Hyrule: So you don't want it?

Wind: If you don't want the books, I'll take them!

Wilds: Same! We can split them.

Legend: Hold the fuck up, I never said that. Back off.

[ask-the-nine-links]

Hey! Hey Time! Who were your favourite people in Termina?

*steals the FD mask while he's busy thinking of the answer and runs*

Time: Well, that certainly is a stupid idea. You get a ten second head start.

Wind: 50 rupees for that random person living.

Warriors: 100 against them surviving. Look at the Old Man, he's not gonna let them walk away from this

[ask-the-nine-links]

hello there boys!! it's nice to meet you!!

for warriors, if it isn't too much to ask, may i give you a hug? no pressure whatsoever, you just look like the kind of guy who needs a whole bunch of love!!!!!!!

you all are awesome, don't forget that!!!

Warriors: Of course you can! Who wouldn't want a hug from the fabulous me?

[ask-the-nine-links]

[Anon who gave Wars the Goron Locket here: Not a separate ask, just wanted to ad that they can prank Twi by cannonballing into the next Lava pool in front of everyone - just remember that lava won’t break your fall like water does as it’s denser too dense]

Wild: ...I call dibs.

Legend: Like hell you do. We need someone to record his reaction, and none of us know how to work that goddess forsaken slate.

Warriors: Vet, I have an idea. It involves Twilight, a pool of lava, and you punching me in the face.

Legend: I'm listening...

[ask-the-nine-links]

To Wars: Saw that someone gave you a red gemmed diadem for burn prevention (which was really kind of them), and I raise you a golden locket with an anti-fire enchantment so strong you could swim in lava with it. [hands him the Goron Locket from Cadence of Hyrule] …It won’t protect you from magic fire, though, so watch out for red Wisrobes.

Also Legend and Wild can have one as well (don’t want them taking yours). These cost me 300 rupees each, you three better take care of them. [you buy the locket from a Goron merchant in-game, so it’s not even a ancient magical item from a dungeon or anything]

Warriors: This is easily one of the best things ever given to me.

Wild: Same! Do you know how easy it will be for me to traverse Death Mountain now?

Legend: Finally, a unique item to add to the collection. I was starting to worry there weren't any left.

[ask-the-nine-links]

Does anyone sleepwalk or talk in their sleep?

Hyrule: I feel like if any of us sleepwalked, there would be one less person in this chain.

Hyrule: Also, I don't think any of us talk in our sleep? At least, outside of nightmares.

Wind: Really? I've hard Four arguing with someone in his sleep when not being hyped up on death-wish coffee.

Hyrule: Are you sure he's alseep?

Wind:

Wind: Nope. Sounds like time for some super sleuthing!

[ask-the-nine-links]

hello, I'm new here and have an offer for wild, give me 7 rubys, 2,000 rupees, 30 fire arrows and a shild and I'll give you one of my flamethrowers and some ammo.

Wild: ...I'm gonna be honest, that doesn't seem like a fair trade. For the cost of one meteor rod, I can make my own flamethrower! Or I could take a ruby, a shield, and-

Twilight: How about you just don't make flamethrowers in general?

Wild: Twi, I'm trying to make a point! I won't make a flamethrower right now!

Twilight: "Right now"

Wild: Hush, now let me-

[ask-the-nine-links]

Postman: hey, I have a letter for "Legend" from Ravio

Postman: *rummages through bag, pulls out middle finger*

Postman: I don't know either, sir. I realise this is inappropriate but my client paid extra for this special delivery.

Legend: Of course the only thing that asshole ever pays extra for is for shit like this.

Legend: If I pay you extra, can you give message back to him? *gives the double middle finger*

[ask-the-nine-links]

Twilight! In front of you there's one baby dog (cute!), one baby cat (cute!) and one baby goat (cute!). You're allowed to pick one of them to take with you.

(no, Time, you're not allowed to object)

Which one do you pick?

Twilight: All of them.

Time: Now hold on-

Twilight: Nope, you're not allowed to object, the anon said so.

Time: The anon also said you could only have one.

Twilight: How are they gonna stop me?

[ask-the-nine-links]

*steals legend's candy*

Legend: So you have chosen death.

[ask-the-nine-links]

Who is the biggest prankster of the group? Also, who gets pranked the most and why?

Wind: Me, Legend, Hyrule, and Wild have our own little group for pranking the others! We do fly solo though, because nobody is safe from a prank.

Wind: Everyone in the group is some kind of a prankster. Would they really be a Link if they weren't?

[ask-the-nine-links]

Hey, Legend!

...is it true you have a wanted poster??

A) Thats awesone :)

B) How do I get one?

C) Does Ravio have one too?

Legend: Yes I do, it's not as awesome as you think.

Legend: Break the law.

Legend: And probably, but he takes them down before I can see them.

[ask-the-nine-links]

wild. If you kill a lynel in a sane way I'll give you 30 dimonds

Wild: Please, that'll be easy! I've beaten Lynels in a sane way plenty of times!

Twilight: Some may argue that fighting Lynels at all is not sane.

Wild: Shhhh, let me have this. I've been running low on diamonds since the Veteran stole most of mine.

[ask-the-nine-links]

Soo… Legend, are we just going to ignore the whole dungeon in your world literally called ‘palace of the four swords’?

Legend: Yes.

Four: For now.

Hyrule: Legend's answer I can understand , but why wait Smithy?

Four: Because A, I know Legend wont say jack shit about it unless he absolutely has too, and B, I don't feel like having an another existential crisis right now.

Hyrule: You know what, that's fair.