ask-the-phone

[ask-the-phone]

asking here since the phone guy ask blog is kinda inactive, but do you think newborn phonelets would come out squishy? and do phones give live birth or do they lay eggs?

oh boy I really like this question. I also really like the term "phonelets" just like. conceptually

I think they are squishy at birth, yes. Probably, if any phone older than a newborn inurrs enough damage/disease to their shell, they might shed enough of the stiff outer layers at once that some of the squishier, undeveloped inner layers are exposed.

as for the birth/egg thing, we'll say live birth.

(if anyone's curious, this is talking about the universe of my @ask-the-phone blog. you can find more phoney biology over there)

[ask-the-phone]

If anyone's still tuned in, here's some Phone Lore��� that (I think?) I haven't explained yet

Phoney Origins and Genetics:

Way way back in the 1950s, secret government employees, as part of the MK ultra experiments, decided to give one of their smartest test subjects a huge research grant to see what she did with it.

What she decided to do was genetically engineer people to have functioning phone heads.

Now, dont ask how, and don't ask why, but with a fusion of mechanics, iron-rich diets, genetic engineering, and bug DNA (for the molting, chitinous exo-skulls) she achieved her goal.

Of course, MK Ultra only lasted so long, and the phonies had to go somewhere once they closed up shop. Fortunately, someone on the decision board that day said "hey guys, if I commit any more major human rights violations today, I'm gonna be really grumpy at dinner, and the wife will be mad at me all day tomorrow, and tomorrow's Saturday, so I can't avoid her." And everyone else kinda agreed, so they slapped some documents on the phonies and dumped them in nearby towns.

The phone-head genes are somewhat dominant, and have lead to multiple generations of phones, even when children are born to one phone and one flesh parent. These children aren't always purely one of the other, though. about 50% of the time they'll be born with both flesh and phone features, most often taking the form of normative flesh-heads with handsets and/or dials. 30% are fully phone-headed, or very nearly full phone-head. 20% Are fully flesh-headed.

Of course, those figures come from children with one parent with zero flesh-head ancestry, and one with zero phone-head ancestry. These odds change if previous generations must be taken into account.

As for where Scotty here stands, he's not a first-gen phone. That's all I'll say, because that's all I've decided so far.

ALSO! Sorry this blog has been so dead! My hyperfix has been on other phones as of late. I'd like to answer some stuff sitting in the inbox soon, however, and don't hesitate to send new asks.

and, if you're interested, I've got a lot of DT/DSaF phone stuff on my main. just sayin...

[ask-the-phone]

If anyone's still tuned in, here's some Phone Lore™ that (I think?) I haven't explained yet

Phoney Origins and Genetics:

Way way back in the 1950s, secret government employees, as part of the MK ultra experiments, decided to give one of their smartest test subjects a huge research grant to see what she did with it.

What she decided to do was genetically engineer people to have functioning phone heads.

Now, dont ask how, and don't ask why, but with a fusion of mechanics, iron-rich diets, genetic engineering, and bug DNA (for the molting, chitinous exo-skulls) she achieved her goal.

Of course, MK Ultra only lasted so long, and the phonies had to go somewhere once they closed up shop. Fortunately, someone on the decision board that day said "hey guys, if I commit any more major human rights violations today, I'm gonna be really grumpy at dinner, and the wife will be mad at me all day tomorrow, and tomorrow's Saturday, so I can't avoid her." And everyone else kinda agreed, so they slapped some documents on the phonies and dumped them in nearby towns.

The phone-head genes are somewhat dominant, and have lead to multiple generations of phones, even when children are born to one phone and one flesh parent. These children aren't always purely one of the other, though. about 50% of the time they'll be born with both flesh and phone features, most often taking the form of normative flesh-heads with handsets and/or dials. 30% are fully phone-headed, or very nearly full phone-head. 20% Are fully flesh-headed.

Of course, those figures come from children with one parent with zero flesh-head ancestry, and one with zero phone-head ancestry. These odds change if previous generations must be taken into account.

As for where Scotty here stands, he's not a first-gen phone. That's all I'll say, because that's all I've decided so far.

ALSO! Sorry this blog has been so dead! My hyperfix has been on other phones as of late. I'd like to answer some stuff sitting in the inbox soon, however, and don't hesitate to send new asks.

and, if you're interested, I've got a lot of DT/DSaF phone stuff on my main. just sayin...

[ask-the-phone]

*summons mr. hugs*

[ask-the-phone]

I can't believe Charlie Emily from the hit horror game Five Nights at Freddy's is the mod for an askblog of The Phone Guy from the hit horror game Five Nights at Freddy's,,, (/j and /silly I swear don't murder me)

yep. you're going in the pear wiggler bud

[ask-the-phone]

Try calling the purple guy "Mr afton" randomly. See how he responds.

[ask-the-phone]

your ponytail looks very fluffy sir janitor

[ask-the-phone]

is uh. is scott okay back there-

[ask-the-phone]

BOOPS FOR THE PHONE also hi vincent how are you doing this fine day? :)

[ask-the-phone]

going to bed early 2day cuz head hurts, but Vincent WILL get to all of the April fools event asks before Scott takes back over, and y'all can keep sending them for the rest of the night <3

[ask-the-phone]

vinny r u kidannping scott

[ask-the-phone]

What's your relationship with Scott?

[ask-the-phone]

[ask-the-phone]

Hallo! Ima give you a little oragmi moth and run away

Good day my sir phone

[ask-the-phone]

in a motivation slump right now, so this blog is going to take lower priority than the more self-indulgent stuff I post on my main, just until I'm kicking like usual. I wouldn't call it a hiatus, but posts will be pretty slow.

[ask-the-phone]

You and the janitor have a special relationship?

(Text under cut)

*sigh*

Fine. Yes. Vincent and I do OCCASIONALLY have... Intimate interactions, when off the clock.

[ask-the-phone]

What do you do with the shed? Like, does it disintegrate over time? Does it stay in tact? I'm very curious about phone head biology. It must be horrible finding a medical professional to help if you ever have a problem with that part of your body.

(Text under cut)

I usually just throw it away, it degrades after a while.

And don't get me started on doctors. The little government issued pamphlets are next to useless.