askacementedpizza

[askacementedpizza]

You have a clone infestation problem near the restaurant? Unfortunate

CEMENT: (...Yep. It's a infestation all around, 'm afriad. Since I remember, it's all clones, non-stop.)

(It has quieted down recently though, causing much less property damage, rude customers and unnecessary running, but there's a batch growing in the corner of the kitchen. No matter how many lead I feed to them, they just keep regrowing.)

(Those bastards are just coming with new plans to steal my ingredients, huh?)

(And bite me. Mostly.)

[askacementedpizza]

Completely out of lore/character

but

can we

Can we draw Cement?? Idk but their design looks so fun to draw auughe

Also,, I'm really liking alot this askblog

And Cement ofc!! Even my brother liked them yahaha

Yes, yes, yes, you can! And please tag me if you do! I'm incredibly glad you are enjoying this blog (and Cement) :}

[askacementedpizza]

Why, hello!

Just making a quick comeback to say, sorry for the sudden pause! Cement just happened to be invited to a impromptu suprise vacation to God Knows Where Land and, hell, who wants to miss on that?

Unfortunately there's not a smidge of a good signal there to properly answer questions but they did manage to see how many people were following them inside the TV, and to be honest, they got a bit frightened.

CEMENT: (....154?! Where did y'all come from?! Did you all get sucked inside or something?)

CEMENT: (Am I next?!)

But, anywho. I'm not, the opposite in fact, so: Thank you all so much for the support y'all give just to see that weird little creature known as Cement fuck around! And I promise, they will come back from vacation and keep the story going..... uh. Soon. I hope. Trust me.

[askacementedpizza]

oi, 'bout the teeth thing, have ya tried swallowin' rocks like a bird? tha's how they do's it.

🪵

CEMENT: ??????????????????????

[askacementedpizza]

That’s good, we wouldn’t want to see you hurt. By the way, how’s the restaurant been?

CEMENT: (Oh, you all need to be paying rent when this Questions and Answers Session(tm) is done! I can't have little people living on my TV, that would scare the customers... It's a one-person job anyhow.)

(And, dear "The Cooking Critique Anon", I do have skills and you're paying a bit more.)

CEMENT: (But, hell, business is going sweller than I expected since I learned the concept of money and edible food 5 weeks ago! Just, take a peek at the menu, it's even homemade!)

(And if I maintain in this swell rate, I might even afford...)

CEMENT: (Getting into that! I don't have any teeth but I might even afford some at this point! Hopefully and finally setting my "blending my dinner" problem to bed.)

[askacementedpizza]

..of course he has a last name. everyone does.

don't you?

-q

CEMENT: (I... Everyone has a last name and they haven't told me? I thought some people didn't had those at all!)

CEMENT: (...Okay, yeah, now I need to put "invent a last name" on my to-do list.)

CEMENT: (But! ...I did came up with a first name a long time ago! Well, other than the stolen Peppino time to time, and it's....)

CEMENT: (...Cemeaand you all knew it already, why do you all have to ruin someone's suspense. C'mon.)

CEMENT: (Nonetheless, in the "Why Cement?" area, I got a wild story to tell you.)

???: ...I am telling you, and it is important!

NOT NAMED ANYTHING YET: (...uh-huh...)

???: You need to get outta here no more than a week maximum, or them and those countless clones will be dragging your two-mouthed face on raw cement!

GETTING THERE: .....

SUDDENLY NAMED CEMENT: (Hey, can you call me Cement?)

???: Are you even listening to me?!

CEMENT: (...Y'know, putting Spaghetti as a last name doesn't sound like a bad idea.)

[askacementedpizza]

Explain yourself or we’ll crawl out of the TV and eat you alive :)

CEMENT: (I WILL BE FINE IF YOU ALL PROMISE TO NOT EAT ME ALIVE OR GET ME JAILED FOR IDENTITY THEFT, GEEZ! I swear I never met the guy, ever.)

CEMENT: (I just managed to stumble in here while running away and all I saw was cobwebs, dust and moldy pizza!)

(And then I just... took the guy's business and his belongings, nothing major.)

CEMENT: (But I have no manslaughter, kidnapping, pre-meditated first degree murder or such other miscellaneous crimes to explain! As I already been sadly caught of all crimes I already committed...)

(...I really should've entered those night acting classes to begin with...)

[askacementedpizza]

i thought your last name was spaghetti?

did you change it?

-q

PEPPINO PARABOLA FLABBERGASTED CEMENT: (SPAG-... HE... HE HAS AN ACTUAL LAST NAME?!)

(DO YOU KNOW HIM??)

[askacementedpizza]

Yooo Peppino!...This. this is Peppino's right. ANYWAYS good morning/afternoon/evening my good fella! Is this thing on?

CEMENT TOTALLY PEPPINO...?: (Yyyyyyyess! I am Peppino, indeed! Peppino... uh...)

CEMENT TOTALLY PEPPINO...?: ......ughehh...

CEMENT TOTALLY PEPPINO PARABOLA: (...Parabola! Peppino Parabola! Th.. The best cook in town-a! I might not look exactly like this picture but I am still the same-a!)

(...does this guy even exist?...)

(And, yes! The thingamajig is indeed on! Thanks-a for asking!)

[askacementedpizza]

Testing 123 check check. Can you hear me? I repeat, can you hear me? - Slugcat Anon

CEMENT: ... (Is the TV talking to me?)

CEMENT: (...AND it knows how I look like?! Did I mess up on fixing it that badly?)

CEMENT: ....... (Well, it doesn't hurt to answer, ....right?)

CEMENT: (Look, completely ignoring the "ah-uh" part, what eye? It's just a second mouth.)

CEMENT: (I'm used to the question though, I do get asked by a LOT of costumers about it. A honest, comical lot.)

[askacementedpizza]

SOMEWHERE IN BUMFUCK NOWHERE....

TV: [INCREDIBLY LOUD STATIC]

PEPPINO CEMENT: ..... (Didn't I just fix the TV yesterday?)

[ASK AWAY, MY LIEGE!]