askalejandro

[askalejandro]

.

He hurt Dr. Newman. His face was scarred...burned it seems. He hugged me when I gave him his birthday gift.

Thomas seems to be losing it...like he's losing hope.

I haven't seen Michael ever since we've made it official.

...

Forgive me for what I'm going to do...

Flower...Alexia, even Gasper...

If you ever read this...and I've gone too far for you all to save.

Kill me.

[askalejandro]

help.

I-I'm scared he might....leave me dead one day. He called me saying he needed me at work. I was excited since he was missing for a while and now he's back...and now he wants me to help him. But...he looked different when I got a good look at him.

I should have run away.

He dragged me away and...

I blacked out. Turns out I died. But Thomas helped me and... ...My father did something to him.

I'm scared.

I'm worried and I want to help my friend.

I can feel myself reaching my edge. I don't want to be like him...I want to treat everyone with kindness...but does he even deserve it. Does he appreciate everything I do for him?

I remember someone telling me I'm a doormat. That I'm a pushover. That I'm just a stepping stone that people can abuse.

I'm getting sick of it.

[askalejandro]

...

I WANT IT TO STOP!!! I WANT IT TO STOP!!

NO MORE

NO MORE!!!

I CAN'T TAKE IT!!

IT HURTS SO MUCH!!

SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME!!

LISTEN TO MY CRIES AND SAVE ME!!!

[askalejandro]

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Hey! I just found my book! I need to place it in a better spot. A bit happened -

Peanut kinda…disappeared somewhere. I'm not sure where though. From what I was told, Dr. Fritz took them

What else happened?

I'm finished with school!! I'm able to do on field work! Right now I'm still and intern and learning medical practices from Dr. Thomas

Recently I've mastered stitching!! I even got to stitch Michael!!

Now I'm learning about a UVI? IV?...I don't remember totally… an instrument that gives the human body fluids and blood! I'm learning to set up that

Speaking a little about Michael! I got to see him yesterday!! Turns out he's somehow physical!!

I can touch him, and he bleeds!! I'm sure he'll get used to it!!

Ya know…maybe I do like him. Yesterday he…

Goodness I'm suddenly hot thinking about it!! I didn't mind it either, I liked it!! I'm a little worried though

If…dad find out…will…Michael turns out like Chloe?

I still feel guilty.

I'm sure she would want me to be happy and move on…but if I have to do that again…I don't think I'll…

…

I want Dr. Newman to at least…see him again. I owe it to him…for at least, caring a little about me. 

More than he could. He called me useful when I asked him if I was a doormat. He told me not to go to those mass tests…I think that's his way of saying he doesn't want me getting hurt. 

I don't know if I'll listen though…I always feel guilty watching those subjects walk in there, oblivious as to what is going to happen.

As a doctor…as one of the people who subjects seem to despise because they were kidnapped to these facilities…I can't help but feel as if I'm contributing to their suffering…

This is why I feel as if attending…and at least helping one subject not be harmed is worth it…

But one time a subject had told me…that it hurts more to watch me in pain. 

I didn't understand. It wasn't like he was physically hurt…and most don't care about how I feel…I don't know what I'd done to make them feel that way…

Which is why I asked Dr. Newman if…I was really helping. 

Of course, he said I shouldn't be helping them and they were supposed to get hurt, and that I should leave this profession if I wanted to help them…

I was too far in any way, it was just something to accept. 

…I'd told Dr. Newman about Michael. How he looks like Newman, but just younger!! He seemed a little concerned, and also…curious?

He asked if I had a picture of him. I didn't until recently!! When I get the chance, I'll show him Michael!! So he knows I'm not lying!

I want both of them to be happy…

I want the ones I care for not to worry…

Because if I have to hurt them because…dad wants me to…I'll probably…hurt myself before I hurt them…

And I'll make sure that he can't…bring me back from the dead.

[askalejandro]

Some...new feelings I guess?

It seems Dad is done with his experiment. Peanut was home today and was looking around the house. However, when they got comfortable enough, they were quiet, as if something was wrong. I didn’t ask about it, it seemed like they needed to process things.

Other than that, I’ve started to have..some weird feelings. Familiar, but weird ones.

For starters, Dr. Thomas…I feel some sort of comfort near him. I feel protected, and I feel as if, he is…something more than just a coworker. He’s protective, and he would do anything to make sure I was okay. 

…Let’s not beat around the bush. I feel as if he’s some sort of father figure that Dr. Alejandro could never be. I wish he adopted me instead and I…know that it’s impossible, but I would just hope that in his eyes, he could see me as a daughter of some sort. 

It’s silly of me. Perhaps it’s just how much I yearn for…an actual connection where I feel safe. Perhaps I’m being delusional, and he’s just treating me as how he would treat any young doctor like myself. I don’t know…

And then Michael. I…felt jealous when he complimented Dr. Laframboise. He said that she was “too pretty to be here”.

…It made me feel as if I'm ugly enough to be stuck here. I felt embarrassed and ignored the comment, but he came back around and complimented me. He said he admires how dedicated and determined I am when I’m focused at work. 

It made my cheeks turn red. I…really appreciated his words. I felt noticed and seen. I don’t know…I’m pretty I’m just being… loved-deprived.

It’s probably just my heart yearning for something, that it’s trying to trick me that I like him in some way. 

Though logically, I’m not sure how it would work between us. He’s a poltergeist...I’m sure it’s…forbidden somewhere for something like that to happen between us.

I’m…probably being silly, I might burn this page later.

[askalejandro]

I think Peanut's gonna be my new brother-

Today my room is being changed. dad had hired some men to make my room bigger…well, it won’t be my personal room anymore. It’ll be everyone's room. My siblings will be sleeping with me, while Dad and Dr. Julian get their own room downstairs.

I liked my personal room, it’s not fair. When I complained, he said I could have my own room. When I said that, I didn’t think my room would be the closet!! I can’t tell if it was a joke about my sexuality or not!!! I also noticed, that in our room, there’s a new bed, with green sheets and covers. I supposed that’s what Dad referenced when we went on a camping trip earlier that week.

I’d asked him about it, and he said that he plans to bring Peanut home with him. I asked if he was gonna hurt them. He said not yet…I also asked about Dr. Thomas and..he was mostly beating around the bush.

We then changed the conversation to magic, and it lead to…what happened to Dr. Julian during the time he used black magic. 

He told me, he was sent to space for hurting Dr. Oakly…he didn’t say exactly what happened…I could tell it was traumatic. He said he hurt Oakly because Oakly was trying to hurt Alejandro I think? Something about the padded room, and how he needed to prepare Alejandro for work again.

I asked about it, but Dad shut me down, saying that he’ll explain when he’s ready.

I was upset but didn’t ask. We just continued our day. 

Still, I wonder what Dad needs Dr. Thomas and Peanut for. What’s the purpose. I tried to look into it further. He brought some machinery with him at home, but I didn’t know where he placed it, or when and where he worked on it.

Oh well. I guess Dr. Thomas is out of luck.

[askalejandro]

A lot happened today..but everything is alright because of me :) ...I think?

Today a scientist, Dr. Thomas tried to escape with a subject, Peanut. Newman couldn’t stop them because he was dead at the time. I had to stop them. I’d convinced them to calm down a little and we talked. They just wanted a peaceful life…and I’m sorry that I couldn’t give them that.

If I did, I would have…probably died. I needed to at least try. 

We talked in the lunchroom, and there, Newman had…came back. It’s almost like my dad, yet he remembers, and it’s a much faster process. He started to shoot everyone. Dr. Thomas was shot the most, and Peanut was killed...

Dr. Newman was acting like Dad. He was…out of his mind, he couldn’t control his lust for blood, s-so I’d taken a gun from a fellow coworker, Dr. Rainstorm, and I’d shot his hand to make him let go of the gun.

I was terrified, it was probably a lucky shot that time, I remember I’d missed a few other times, mostly from my shaky hands. 

Everyone had calmed down, I’d brought the other two to medical since they were in dire need of care. I’d removed the bullet like books usually say, as well as how my father would do so.

Remove the bullets with a tweezer, and attempt not to add any more damage to the wound. Clean out the wound with water and peroxide, and wrap it up with a bandage. Cuts and bullets, don’t need much care when the person's life is on the brink of death. So I did the bare minimum.

For Peanut, I needed to close the wounds thoroughly and make them drink the angel's blood, which I usually have around my neck in case someone was dead or if I was dead.

When I was done with them, Dr. Newman had come in to fix his hand by himself…

I felt bad for shooting him...I never wanted to do such a thing, but I had no choice. I’d offered to help him, and he denied me multiple times. He was just upset at me, rightfully so for hurting him... I apologized and gently forced him to let me help him.

I apologized for shooting him, and I told him that I was scared because he was reminding me of how Dr. Alejandro treats me. I guess that gave him enough reason to let me help him remove the bullet and close the wound.

Today gave me inspiration to study more on how to help heal a person other than the basics. While reading about medicine and what it does helps, it doesn’t prepare me for when I’m in an actual medical room with dying people

I only have experience from what…dad…made me do those sick…things to….

[askalejandro]

...something bad happened.

Today during a test…I had endured torture. Dr. Oakly had…cut my legs, and one of my arms off. Then left me to die. I had to crawl my way to medical and stop the bleeding. Dad then gave me robotic metal arms to replace them.

I know that he knows how to make my arms grow back. This isn’t mercy, it’s just a reminder that I’m nothing but a tool.

[askalejandro]

I found something...strange.

I’m…curious about these tunnel systems and secrets. I was doing paperwork in Newman’s office. I normally interview a few cells and then come to help him with the infinite piles of paperwork that he has.

It’s mostly just writing information down on subjects, essays, sorting, and filing things…but in his office, he has a vent on the bottom wall that leads somewhere. 

Normally I ignore it. Hell, the lab is in the sewers, it’s probably for water and air to get through…but something…someone was inside. They were red or something. Curiously, I wanted to see why or how they got down there, so I opened the vent and started to look around.

When I reached the end of the sewer drain, there was a secret room. A table with papers and unknown unstable liquids. A metal table with tools and instruments of torture nearby…a meat grinder, chainsaw..and a box that leaked blood from within…

I didn’t walk in too far, terrified of the sight. In the middle of the room, was a creature. I didn’t know what it was, but it was there. I was distracted. They had a knife and started to chase me.

I’d made it out, and locked the vent in front of them so they couldn’t get me, but it all just raised questions.

What is that room…

I had said nothing about it to Dr. Newman…not yet. For now, I wanted to keep being useful to avoid dying.

So I’d gone back to doing paperwork. Oddly, I think I might have hallucinated when I saw a boy. They started talking to me. They…said they were the child of Dr. Newman…or Henry as they called him.

They called themself Michael. They said not to call him Dr. Newman, so I referred to them as Henry when speaking to them

Despite how confused I was, I was nice to them. They asked questions like why I was helping Dr. Newman and how much he resents him.

Something about him and a girl named Avery?

I don’t remember it too clearly, I was still quite stunned by what I saw.

They disappeared after a while of talking…I didn’t know if it was a hallucination or not, so I asked Dr. Newman if he had a kid named Michael. 

He said yes, and why and how I know that name. He gave me a very…stern and cold look. I’d…lied and said it was just a guess, and a hunch.

But his look and answer gave me all I needed to know. Something happened to his kids…he did something to his kids to make them resent him, and perhaps haunt him.

I want to search a bit more, but perhaps another time…I know too much already.

[askalejandro]

I...don't remember what entry this is...Oh well!

Dad had told me that I’m gonna be working while also studying. He said since I’m 17 now, that it’s best that I get a more inclusive experience than jumping from lab to lab for a few months or weeks. He said that Jarrah had suggested I do such with a well-seasoned doctor.

It’s to my father's coworker's lab, Achlys's lab. Who is friends with Dr. Jarrah? He said the boss there is Dr. Newman, who he is quite familiar with. I’m not sure if that’s in a good…or a bad way. Whatever. I hope that it doesn’t get in the way of my studies…I want to become a better scientist than my father.

I want to prove that…whatever this legacy is, I’m worthy for it. Much more worthy than my father…whatever it may be.

A legacy is something that a person leaves behind for the later generations. I’m not entirely sure what it is other than reputation and trust me, my father leaves reputations on everyone he meets…normally it’s a bad one from what I’ve observed.

I want to leave a good mark on everyone. So when they hear the name, Legacy Agnello, they won’t coward in fear because of my last name. I’ll be nothing like him. Instead of ripping everyone apart, I’ll hold them together as much as I can

I won’t let others get hurt, while still exploring the world of science, abnormalities, and magic.

Starting here at Achlys lab.

[askalejandro]

:)

Dad came home today. He explained that some arrangements have been made for his good behavior to be let out of punishment. 

I asked what had happened. He said he'd tell me when he was ready. Which is quite selfish. I've been trying to hold things together since but whatever…

Julian was with him too, they've been getting really close. Ever since Eva...vanished, they've been really close. 

I guess I can forget about Eva. Dad must really suck at getting some that he's resorted to men. It's somewhat funny. 

[askalejandro]

...ok

Dad…has been gone for two months now. I've been depending on the credit card that he gave to Flower for food

I've been taking care of everyone….Gasper, Flower, Alexia, all the other Pokemon, and myself.

I feel as if I can never catch a break. It's getting harder to study with so much going on…it makes me anxious and stressed. 

I'm not sure where he is, however…sometimes Dr. Julian comes to visit and take care of us, but generally he has his own life. 

I hope he's…okay, I guess.

[askalejandro]

.

He died…He died again. It was much more simple this time, just a stab to the heart. I wish it was me though. 

[askalejandro]

thanksgiving.

Dad wanted to have a Thanksgiving dinner with his co-workers at his house.

It didn't go so great…

Alejandro was depressed when the day came and was being lazy in his room so I had to host it.

Oakly had come into his room to try to cheer him up and get him ready. It seemed it worked.

People came and it was going great. Like Gasper, Mystic, and other coworkers of dad

Till something…happened.

Aqua, my dad's pet but also…son…who's normally with him at work since…he loves him more than me..was dying. 

I believe they..cut themselves to see if Alejandro would do something, but they were…mad at each other?

I don't really know…I don't like thinking about it.

So…Oakly and his husband, Mr. Ponce, were trying to keep Aqua from dying…w-we didn't have anyone in the house with O- blood so…it didn't work out well.

Aqua died and…Mr. Ponce had a meltdown that Oakly had to deal with…Alejandro was crying

Alejandro regretted not moving quicker…but Dr. Julian was there to comfort Dad

I… was frozen since…I couldn't do anything. I was shaken up seeing them die…having their blood in my hands.

Eva finally came after being late…seeing how everything was a mess. They fixed up a better dinner than I.

Then they'd helped comfort Alejandro…and everyone seemed to calm down. 

Then my…grandfather came.

I was nervous. Alejandro and his father never talk..but they're obligated to see each other on holidays. 

He seemed to be drugged at the time and was a nice and sweet old man.

As the holiday activities continue…we both were left alone and he sort of…woke up. 

He told me…that I'll never be great. He told me these awful things while we were alone.

It…terrified me. 

Finally, he had to go home…but still. It stuck with me. 

I'm not worth the Agnello legacy…he said. 

…Is that what this is?

[askalejandro]

. . .

For days…my father has been stuck in his room. He’s still depressed for some reason and he won’t tell me. I’ve tried my best to take care of him…but sometimes he lashes out at me.

He’d yell at me and throw things at me when I opened his bedroom door once. I heard things crashing, so I thought something fell on him, or he got hurt…turns out he was trashing his room in an outburst of anger and took some of it out on me.

If he’s not angry, he’s empty, playing games on his food, refusing to do anything productive…and overall being a slob. 

I don’t know how to fix it…

Normally the Pokemon that roams around the house deals with it. Like Mewtwo and Aqua since they seem to know him better. 

I feel useless here, so I'll just stay out of the way.

[askalejandro]

.

I think I understand why Dad hates subjects so much. I'm 16 now and old enough to work as an intern as a scientist

I did it to not upset Dad. I tried to be nice to everyone. I really was…but when I was cleaning up in the cafeteria, a subject found me…

They'd came to me with one of those wine screwers, as they screwed the side of my head.

Something about trying to get to my brain…

I barely made it out alive. 

I hate subjects. I did nothing wrong, yet it seems like they're all out to get me.

I-I was scared. 

…I have a new sibling…and a new mom since things didn't work out with Thana.

Her name is Eva. She's…out of dad league.

But my sister….her name is Alexia. She's…actually just a clone of Dad and my brother Flower

I'm not sure how much that counts. 

Whatever. It's whatever. I don't care about filthy creatures. Considering I'm a mere human who'll die…

It's clear that if I die no one will help me…no one will save me but me…

Not even Dad would bring me back like I do for him.

It's only a matter of time before I meet my maker.

[askalejandro]

. .. .

Recently I got a letter in the mail from a mortician. My father seemed to have died working overtime.

A group of subjects had retrained him and killed him with…with signs of torture involved. 

I didn't know whether to be mad or…happy about it. 

There were some instructions left in his office for if he'd died.

In short, I was to retrieve his body, and to the best of my ability and from the training we did…fix him up and bring him back.

If I didn't…well, he made sure that I would go through. He placed nanobots in my blood without me knowing.

If he's dead for too long, the nanobots will go off and explode. 

He's a psycho. I can't run…hell I've called CPS and they don't believe me. 

I can't get away…even if I ran, this motherfucker has nanobots in my bloodstream and can probably track me…

I don't want to die to escape him…I'm …I'm scared. 

I did it in the end…out of fear. Right now he seems clueless about everything. 

I've tried to bring his memory back, but even I don't know him well enough to bring it back so I've been taking care of him.

I emailed Dr. Jarrah about the news. I assumed he was the one that brought cars to pick up Ale to deal with him for me…

I…hope he doesn't turn back to how he was before.