askflightybroad

[askflightybroad]

Any favourite reads? Not specifically pertaining to books, but any general text based medium?

What avid inquiries into my preferences of literature. I suppose it's only polite to indulge with a response just as enthusiastic. Brace yourselves for, as a certain Strider would say, a shit ton of text.

Approximately two-thirds of the work I peruse do not have titles. I am inclined to believe they are more akin to a literary fever dream than anything I, or any other currently existing mortal soul, have the capacity to fully comprehend; much less describe. I will, however, in good faith, suggest some texts that I consider widely-known.

I particularly enjoy Studies on Hysteria by Freud, though I suppose I more-so enjoy exploring the founding text from which he would later establish his psychoanalytic kingdom. And in any case, acknowledging just how frequently he injected his patients with copious dosages of morphine deserves further recognition, don't you think? I have a re-interpretive historical text in the works regarding his potentially homoerotic relationship with physician Josef Breuer, and studying the paper directly has been of instrumental significance.

Other takes I've greatly enjoyed include The Meaning of Truth by William James; The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman; The Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath (especially the pieces Recantation, 1956, and Monologue at 3 a.m.); and Aye, and Gomorrah. by Samuel R. Delaney.

Oh my, and how could I forget. The all-time classic, the delightful vixen of this ungodly hour, the pinnacle of modern creativity that Shakespeare can only weep at the mention of.

The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Myers.

[askflightybroad]

Are you sure you don't bite? Humans have canine teeth for a reason right?

Absolutely. Would you like to find out?

[askflightybroad]

in ur opinion whats the best type of monster to woo? like theres the classic vampires, werewolves, and rogue AI, but perhaps youre more of a disney’s flubber kinda gal?

I have a great fondness for strange and esoteric creatures, especially of the feminine variety. The Gryla, also stylized as Gríla, the antithesis of Santa Claus and mother of the Yule Lads; or the Kumiho, who would undoubtedly respond to your propositioning if only to devour your liver; and any of the sirens for the aforementioned reasons.

Regarding your suggestions, however, it is of my personal purview that vampires in a romantic context are vastly overdone. The genre of vampiric literature has never quite progressed past John Polidori's The Vampyre, neither in terms of literary prowess nor quality of subtle eroticism — if one desires to be bitten so badly, might I suggest they look into recreational blood letting? So long as it's done safe, sane, and consensually, the damage to the world done in the aftermath would be far more palatable than yet another mediocre Young Adult slash about being kidnapped, mind-controlled through freakishly intense eyes, and/or falling in love with their so-called silver tongue. If I were to debase myself by writing such tales, I would make the entire "blood-sucking" feature completely transactional. But that is a conversation to be had approximately never.

[askflightybroad]

there's a trolley coming down the tracks. If you don't do anything, it will hit five people. If you flip the lever, you switch the tracks to hit a completely smoking babe. What do you do?

I flip the lever.

After this hypothetical completely smoking babe is decimated, I approach her smoldering remains so I may courteously contact her family — who have, between her shaky reconnection with an ex-lover and her steady trend towards substance abuse, long-since expected this downfall. For she is no less grieved, I attend her funeral. I offer my remarks. She was a fine woman, a loving daughter, and most certainly did not possess a dubious fascination with the existence of incestuous dynamics. The family wails, moved by my sincerity — I was, after all, their daughter's killer, and there are things you can only realize of a person once you have felt their blood on your hands. As soon as I conclude the remark, the closed-casket slams open; from it emerges transfeminine Sigmund Freud, who makes loud and offensive corrections at my misinterpretation of her work. I flee the scene in a panic, disgusted and embarrassed.

I then return to the tracks, await for the trolly to return, and re-flip the lever so it may hit the other five people. Thank you for this delightful thought experiment.

[askflightybroad]

Hardly. I have little need to be jealous of someone with such narrow views on media perusal. Who is far too busy upholding his barely-genuine interest in Cars Race-O-Rama to entertain a simple game of house with his dearest of friends. What my audience happens to prefer is no concern to me whatsoever, and a suit for libel will be shortly delivered upon your doorstep.

Show the guy that was speaking off camera he sounds hot

It seems your presence has been requested by my adoring fans. Perhaps I was mistaken in the online worlds need for my advice and input when truly a more charming and intriguing member of society presents himself so brazenly.

@askinsufferableprick

[askflightybroad]

It seems my anonymous ask posts were turned off for some reason. Well, they're turned back on now. Don't be afraid to stop by, I don't bite.

[askflightybroad]

I suppose it's about time I blow off the dust and debris coating my forgotten askbox. I'd quite forgotten this little corner of the internet even exists, with how tremendously busy I've been, but I vow to recuperate and regather. In the meantime, might I recommend you humor this comedian with far more free time? Then again, you are free not to listen. If the onslaught of humdrum and miscellaneous requests in my inbox continues, I will bear them with grace — to be frank, I find them unimaginably charming. I am only doing my due diligence; what sort of a parasocial persona would I be if I weren't to so much as introduce yet another target for the masses to latch onto? Welcome to Tumblr, John. I'm elated to see he managed to rope you into the circus. Frankly, it was getting rather lonely on the stage.

ok

go

... are you recording me?

yes

wow, awesome. this is superb.

y'know, you are such a pain in the ass sometimes i have to wonder, do you get off on it?

yes john

every time you get your panties in a twist i get this sensual rush through my body akin to the feeling of a big fat greasy fistful of bacon on a sunday morning

oh, cool.

that explains so much.

you're the worst friend ever.

aghh! you're going through a lot of unnecessary trouble trying to get me to start this stupid blog with you!

i mean, come on. everyone knows tumblr is for girls and people who got dropped by their psychiatrists and have no where else to complain.

you're exposing me to nutheads, dave.

and i know that's your forte but, i have this thing...you may be unfamiliar with it,

it's called having a life.

i don't have time to fit responding to internet weirdos into my schedule like you.

ok your royal highness

im sure you have a lot on your plate

what are you too busy sucking your thumb and shitting your diaper

what responsibilities could you possibly have all you do is sit in your room and watch crappy decade old movies all day

while your dad serves you a b list celebrity weddings worth of cake firsthand like a mother to her newborn son

your dad might as well have wished you were a girl with all that pampering you receive i bet you feel like a real princess

but hey man im not here to speak for him

why dont you ask yourself if you think youre so manly egbert

are you still recording?

yeah

hey guys! you're gonna get a real kick out of this one. go to https://dstrider.blogspot.com and hit ctrl f...

shut up

then you're going to want to type in the word...

shut up

THE WORD...

shut up

TURNTECHGODHEAD S-

s-

AID-!

looks like youre cutting out john

F- OR-

yeah dude your wifi is cooked

CK-

AH-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh fine ill just do this with lalonde

...

you roped rose into this too?

yeah

well, FINE! god, i guess if you insist!

ask box open for reception.

[askflightybroad]

What are your thoughts on Christmas sweaters?

I'd say they're a lukewarm subject. Perhaps I would have a more favourable opinion of these gaudy hall-mark apparel of the winter tides if my mother did not insist upon the traditional buying of such garments to "get festive".

[askflightybroad]

show us the wizard lalonde

Hopefully this satiates your curiousity. The wizard in all his unholy christmas-themed glory.

[askflightybroad]

Apologies for the lull in answers to your urgent questions. Christmas season means Christmas shopping and fighting through a decidedly festive themed cloud of gin and derision on my guardians part. What compels her to string 30 feet of garlands and christmas lights around a statue of a wizard is beyond even my psychological expertise.

Though I do admit the star placed on top of his ridiculous hat is sort of amusing.

[askflightybroad]

Rose, do you know? Like, do you *know.*

Know what? I'm intrigued. What are you trying to imply here?

[askflightybroad]

rose do you like pufferfish

They aren't really my thing, but I suppose I like them well enough. Marine biology was never a subject that struck me as suitably fascinating however I do know someone that takes a fancy to them.

[askflightybroad]

Show the guy that was speaking off camera he sounds hot

It seems your presence has been requested by my adoring fans. Perhaps I was mistaken in the online worlds need for my advice and input when truly a more charming and intriguing member of society presents himself so brazenly.

@askinsufferableprick

[askflightybroad]

Hello Rose. I'm wondering if you can give us an update on how it's going there. All good?

The usual. December brings nothing but frost and snow, along with the usual torrent of rain. The family has been.. tolerable though I suppose in future it will become harder to evade my guardians cloud of gin and derision. With expected merriments comes the promise of gifts and with gifts comes the promise of liquor gifted by my mothers adoring faceless coworkers to fuel her vices. I've finally succeeded in convincing at least one of my peers to indulge me in a game I've been looking forward to. Trust Egbert to be reliable as ever in contrast to another, unnamed gentleman. Perhaps the only complaint I could have is the lack of power in my abode. Count on the rain to disable the transformer yet again.

[askflightybroad]

I will spare the usual amateur gestures of adjusting the camera or making the usual speech expressing enthusiasm and wondering "If the mic is on" and skip right to the chase.

At the behest of certain parties close to me, I have been persuaded to make a blog for myself.

yo lalonde did you get the blog set up yet look if youre having trouble im game rose you telling me this is official

Yes. Alarmingly official. I suppose I will endeavour to keep an active social media presence and try to understand this site more when I am not busy. So as it stands, ask away.