askryomen - Tumblr blog

[askryomen]

Erm...is this you?

what is this.

[askryomen]

I am crafting a pair of dangling earrings from human teeth, but I seem to have found myself in a dilemma. In your expert opinion, which order should the teeth go in that would look best hanging from the ear: wisdom tooth - molar - incisor - canine, or canine - incisor - molar - wisdom tooth?

the first one. the canine should be at the bottom, giving the earring a pointed end.

[askryomen]

Please

please what.

[askryomen]

I'll do anything you ask, daddy. 🥴🥴🥴

(googles how to not annoy someone who is constantly annoyed)

🍧

it is not possible. you will always get on my nerves. consider the fact that you’re still alive and not being digested by my stomach acids a good sign, though.

[askryomen]

so lets talk about your tattoo marks specifically your thighs ones… you going to let me lick them all around?

do you truly believe you’re worthy?

[askryomen]

Soooo...

No bitey?

🍧

not as long as you wish to still have teeth. however, i’m feeling generous, so if you stop being irritating, i’ll let you suck my fingers. do we have ourselves a deal?

[askryomen]

Honestly I’d let you crack me like a human glow stick for a crumb of dick

it’s always you in my inbox asking me the weirdest shit. i’ll spit on you.

[askryomen]

I merely ask your opinion on such things because your opinion is just so important. In other news, do you think I should sell my liver every year that it grows back and get rich?

that’s actually clever. liver is delicious, you can be my dealer.

[askryomen]

*sits at your feet*

Ur so cute. I'm gonna bite your cheekies.

Nom nom

🍧

you try to bite my cheeks, and i will tear each tooth out of your jaw one by one and make you swallow them.

[askryomen]

Hewwo.

Kith?

🍧

a kiss, no. you have not earned that. but you can sit at my feet, and i'll pat your head. i'm feeling.... kind today. or something adjacent to that.

[askryomen]

I will rip out my heart from my chest with my bare hands and give it to you so you can feel the last beating seconds of it.

good. just as i deserve.

[askryomen]

OUR BELOVED KING IS BACK!!! My ethereal god, how have you been? 🩷 Also, the tramp stamp tattoo idea is great !!! I've thought about getting it a long time ago!! With your face tattoos specifically 🩷

i've been busy, pest. and you should get the tramp stamp, i would like to see it. if you do, i'll reward you.

[askryomen]

Can I have one little forehead smooch 💋

it will be the last thing you ever experience, but sure.

[askryomen]

I discovered a dinner plate sized huntsman spider in my home a while ago and as you do when you encounter a spider that big I began charging him rent. He’s been slacking on his job as evidenced by the amount of bugs in the house, and last month he paid me 6 cents. Do you think I should evict him?

what is this nonsense i just read.

[askryomen]

Also, how do we feel about Tyler the Creator

i feel nothing. who is that.

[askryomen]

That’s a great idea, stop feeding my obsession

no. your obsession, time and attention should belong to me anyway.

[askryomen]

You’ve been gone so long I’ve gotten three new tattoos. This one’s my fave though

i like it. you should get a tramp stamp of my tattoo marks.