asksep

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stop treating killing dragons as this act of bravery and valor. maybe ou should be kissieng and loving the dragons instead. and be more niceys

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it’s a tough life for someone like me, who should have been born a muppet

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Don't you worry about my pronouns. My pronouns are pretty standard. Worry about my adverbs. My most frequent ones are "omniously", "haphazardly" and "obliviously".

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Genuinely what are any of us talking about

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eating pastries is so humiliating cause you'll be having the time of your life having it and then when you're finished you look down and you're covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i'm a messy pastry whore

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Hey how's it going

Hi! I am on holiday! It's good I love pottering around being useless in a helpful way

How are you?

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You may have mastered the blade while i focused on my studies but i studied so good. Im gonna win

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"can you explain this gap in your resume" Oh yeah sorry i got sent to the 1300s and i had to fight evil skeletons

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“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on” Okay it’s fine to hate me or whatever but you do understand the horse is not a part of this right. Like he’s only here because I got on his back and steered him here. I treat him exceptionally well but if he saw anything slightly strange he would run into the woods and forget about me forever. Take it back.

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guy who says "this is the worst day of my life" and then pulls out a spreadsheet ranking every day of their life so far to prove it

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