aslantm - Tumblr blog

( * & . — ‘ YOU ’ ( NOVEL ) SENTENCE STARTERS .

* starters from the 2014 novel ‘ you ’ by caroline kepnes . warnings for sex , violence , stalking , & swearing .

‘ you blush and i could love you . ’

‘ most people would say i’m the fuckup . ’

‘ it’s no secret that most people are fucking idiots . ’

‘ he’s a pretentious fuck and a liar . ’

‘ you need an escort , especially if you want to dress like a fucking whore . ’

‘ i like that you take care of yourself instead of filling your home and your pussy with a string of inadequate men . ’

‘ you’re a sweetheart . you see the best in people . you complement me . ’

‘ who can sleep with you in the world ? ’

‘ i will take that balloon and tie it around their neck because who the fuck can cunt out over a balloon ?! ’

‘ the assholes are always puzzled when the order of the universe is restored , when they are held accountable for their cowardly , pretentious , loveless ways . ’

‘ some guys are assholes and you have to accept that . ’

‘ the problem with books is that they end . ’

‘ the only thing crueler than a cage so small that a bird can’t fly is a cage so large that a bird thinks it can fly . ’

‘ you are not easily rescued . ’

‘ yeah , i don’t have a yale degree , but my bullshit detector is excellent . top drawer , even . ’

‘ the world fell out of love with love at some point . ’

‘ your lips were made for mine . you are the reason i have a mouth , a heart . ’

‘ if we were teenagers , i could kiss you . ’

‘ you ooze joy and she is an open wound , shrill and wan , unfucked and unloved . ’

‘ she knew she was killing me and she knew that i was not the type to go down without a fight . ’

‘ i know the power of silence . i remember my dad saying nothing and i remember his silences more vividly than i remember the things he said . ’

‘ happiness is believing that you’re gonna be happy . it’s hope . ’

‘ but did you read them , fuckface ? ’

‘ if people could handle their self - loathing , customer service would be smoother . ’

‘ the trouble with society is that if the average person knew about us – you , alone , orgasming three times a night , and me , across the street , watching you orgasm , alone – most people would say i’m the fuckup . ’

‘ you are a woman and i am a man and we belong in the dark together . ’

‘ talking to you is like traveling through time . ’

‘ the most important thing i know is that i want the possibility of you more than the reality of her . ’

‘ my middle school health teacher told us you can only hold eye contact for ten seconds before scaring or seducing someone . ’

‘ eye contact is what keeps us civilized . ’

‘ love’s a marathon , not a sprint . ’

‘ well , sometimes you just want to go where it’s dark , you know ? ’

‘ some people , it’s like they care more about their status updates than their actual lives . ’

‘ some people on this earth receive love , get married , and honeymoon in cabo . others do not . some people read alone on the sofa and some people read together , in bed . that’s life . ’

‘ don’t make a baby if you’re not capable of unconditional love . ’

‘ when i’m nervous , i get nasty . it’s a problem . ’

‘ that’s because every day is the only day . ’

‘ she’s dead inside , like a corpse . she instagrams methodically , clinically , as if she’s gathering evidence for defense , like her entire life is dedicated to proving that she has a life . ’

‘ we’re too old to be young . ’

‘ full of disclaimers , you’re like a warning label on a pack of cigarettes . ’

‘ if you knew what i went through to get into your home , that i messed up my back trying to know you , inside and out , you’d judge me for it . ’

‘ when a girl likes talking about you more than talking to you , well , in my experience , that’s the end . ’

‘ you grow through love . you don’t postpone love until you stop growing . ’

‘ you know they’re all pussies , each and every one of ‘em . ’

‘ most kids are assholes , just like most adults . ’

‘ it’s like they can smell the public school on me . ’

‘ who can sleep with you in the world ? ’

‘ he’s been to rehab , which is a travesty ; you can tell by his smug face that he’s not capable of genuine addiction . ’

‘ there’s emptiness in him that can never be filled , emptiness that dressed up well at prep school , where a lack of willpower is called creativity . ’

‘ what a shame to be so angered by what you don’t have that you treat what you do have like it’s nothing . ’

‘ i think that all children do better with happy parents than married parents . ’

‘ brunch , a meal invented by rich white chicks to rationalize day drinking and bingeing on french toast . ’

‘ you are a monster , deathly , solipsistic to the bone and you’re blasphemous because all you want is you . ’

‘ is your twitter bio your subtle way of announcing that you’re an attention whore who has no standards and will give an audience to any poor schmuck who says hello ? ’

‘ you miss me . and i miss you . ’

‘ i cry and watch pitch perfect and sing along with the barden bellas . i don’t want to be a person who knows the name of a fictional a cappella group in a chick flick but that’s what love has done to me . ’

‘ it’s amazing how good 50 and sunny feels after you’ve been bleeding in 12 with a windchill of go fuck yourself . ’

‘ you want to know what i know and hear what i like to hear . ’

‘ you relax your arms and lower your legs and when animals open up like that , they want to fuck . ’

‘ i’ll fucking kill hugh grant . ’

‘ life isn’t always ideal , not for most people . ’

‘ what makes us become us ? what fucks us up and why ? ’

‘ i want life to move slowly because i want to anticipate you with all my heart , greet you with all my heart , fuck you with all my heart , and miss you with all my heart . ’

‘ i have to laugh because i sound like a greeting card but i deserve this , you , joy . ’

‘ i hope you’ll ask me to eat you out in the bathroom at starbucks . ’

‘ he cheats on you . a lot . compulsively . ’

‘ it means you covet me . maybe even more than i realize since right now your hand is heading to your cunt yet again . ’

‘ you’re so clean that you’re dirty . ’

‘ they’re in their own world , where good things happen , a quarter mile and a million light years away . ’

‘ night moves don’t work in the morning . ’

‘ you don’t want to be spanked . you want love . ’

‘ dear girl , you’re not an island . be populated . be welcoming to love . ’