aslightlyaswings

[aslightlyaswings]

- 1/?

- Jude at the monastery.

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“I barely need to breathe for you to spread your fingers over my chest and count my ribs the way a child would count stars. But of course, you’re no longer here, are you? I am one to know that life isn’t fair, evidence carefully labeled and marked, ready to be cross-examined at first command. Exhibit one: the jaws of the past. Exhibit two: the ghosting pain. Exhibit three: the traitor of a body. Exhibit four: you, gone. Exhibit five: everything and everything. In this house that we built together, I was an empty room that your name filled up, and living felt so much less like a sin. Eyes closed I can almost hear you say again, Five minutes, and I open my mouth to reply as always, Five, only to choke and claw on barren dirt. Every night is a funeral in which I survive, and you die again and again. I will not lie and say I do not miss the press of a blade against my skin. Because I do— you know I do. But every time I breathe is a different kind of bruising, bleeding. If I wanted pain, I would call your name instead: Willem, Willem. What’s more painful than knowing that you won’t come to me? But I will allow myself other lies, like this green sweater I still wrap myself with for the memory of your arms around me, for the ghost of your touch. And I want you to see, as much as I would hate for you to see, that I want so much to be haunted. I pretend you will come back, and I write to you the way we always did— Dear comrade; Dear comrade— messages turning into birds that always know their way home. And I wait for the door to creak open, wait for you to smile at me again, and I’ll tell you how much I missed you. Oh, I miss you. Grant me this lie. I beg you.”

— JUDE WAITING TO TELL WILLEM A STORY by FREYA L.

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the queen and her cousin

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Bitterblue, Katsa, and Lady Fire.

Getting nostalgic about these books I used to love so much, so I thought up a few alternative designs for BB.

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Did that six fanarts thing! Enjoy 😊

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“Willem had been silent for even longer. “Try,” he said. “For me, Judy. Try.”

page 490, A Little Life

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Dear Jude

a response to A Little Life

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No matter how much time has passed since I read “A Little Life”, the brain still gives flashes-images. Jude.

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“things get broken and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

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“[One night, very late, he rubs Willem’s shoulder and when Willem opens his eyes, he apologizes to him. But Willem shakes his head, and then moves on top of him, and holds him so tightly that he finds it difficult to breathe. “You hold me back,” Willem tells him. “Pretend we’re falling and clinging together from fear.” He holds Willem so close that he can feel muscles from his back to his fingertips come alive, so close that he can feel Willem's heart beating against his, can feel his rib cage against his, and his stomach deflating and inflating with air. 'Harder,' Willem tells him, and he does until his arms grow first fatigued and then numb, until his body is sagging with tiredness, until he feels that he really is falling]...”

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Katsa from Graceling by Kristen Cashore

a blue-eyed green-eyed monster, wolflike and snarling

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swimming near Po’s hut :’)

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Valentine’s Day requests

#5: Katsa & Po

Someone requested my favorite couple of all time. I have so many but I chose to drew these two, since they are on my top 5 OTPs

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Lady Fire from the Graceling trilogy.

Cornflowers symbolize strength.

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Queen Bitterblue

I haven’t posted in a while because I wasn’t sure how I felt about this piece, but I decided to just get it out here so I could move on to other sketches. I’m planning on rereading the Seven Kingdoms Trilogy after I finish Ruin and Rising, so here’s to my favorite character, Bitterblue.

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fire from the book… fire

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cinematic parallels

hey did anyone notice fire and bitterblue both pine on roofs while doing crime?