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i may be a lesbian but jon deserves to be hot

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this is just adhd

This was the official anthem of the Great Twisting. It played 24/7 in Sannilkov Land. 

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MAG159

Jon: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand!

Martin, still transparent, in his spacey Lonely!voice: poseidon quivers before him

Jon, flipping off the remnants of Peter Lukas floating on the waters of the Lonely: fuck offffffff

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Jon: Tim has been taking instagram selfies on the clock lately so I’ve been taking it upon myself to ruin as many of them as I can

Jon: I usually stand somewhere in the background where I won’t be noticed until after he posts it making a face at a random document

Jon: he’s been looking at his phone with an expression of agony so I think it’s working

————-

Tim: my followers keep calling my boss a DILF and asking if he’s single

Tim: I hate it so much

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melanie does listen to grifters bone

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season 5 of the magnus archives is so fucking funny Jonny really said “now that I have your attention let’s talk about the real horror: capitalism.” we can have little a sexy fire lesbian but first we need to discuss landlords.

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What’s especially funny is that Jude legitimately has no idea who Martin is, and definitely doesn’t care. Imagine seeing the Archivist, the most powerful avatar of the most powerful fear - who, reminder, is just some nerd you bullied like over a year ago, and have not given one iota of thought to since - waltz into your living room, and there’s just? This Guy?? With him? This Absolutely Normal Guy squeaking almost-swears at you. He doesn’t seem super stoked to be there like at all, is he also there to try and kill you? Who is he? Why is he there??

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screw it, it’s shitposting art time

based on this post

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statement givers when gerry intervenes in them getting caught up in the nightmare fuel that is their life: who is this man. wtf. i’m shaking what does he want with me

statement givers about oliver, who also shows up and says weird things: this very sad, handsome man told me i was doomed. i hope i didn’t ruin his day

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yeah

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if s2 jon could see s4 jon… well. i don’t think he would be reassured.

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i hope that manuela dominguez is still alive in season 5 & every five minutes Helen has to stomp back into the hallway and yell at her for messing with the lights

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Jon “puts his worst foot forward on purpose to scare people away so they won’t try to get close or help him and trigger his survivor’s guilt/anxiety around burdening other’s with his needs”: *exists*

Martin “has a pathological need to be liked but only knows how to relate to people by fussing over them incessantly”: *falls in love with Jon immediately* 

Jon: *furiously tapping his most annoying personality traits* Christ, are these things even on-

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I’m back with shitty phone audio and something mediocre I recorded in the very little spare time I have today! Realised I’d never done Lost in the Cosmos here somehow, so I sung it while trying to organise some wills for my EPQ (you can totally hear me typing at times, sorry)

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season 1: Jonathan Sims, head archivist of The Magnus Institute, London.

season 2: Jonathan Sims, head archivist of The Magnus Institute, London.

season 3: Jonathan Sims, hea- [sigh] former head archivist of The Magnus Institute, London

season 4: Jonathan Sims, The Archivist

season 5: [talking over some sort of distant screaming] Martin dear could you put your AirPods in so I can record my supernatural apocalypse slam poetry, I need to destress. Be careful on your walk :)

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how would a melody describe itself, when asked?

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tim, mag40 // griffin mcelroy, taz:balance ep 66 

don’t know how to make one of those aesthetic posts but. i’m having feelings about how that was the last time tim ever saw sasha and he had no idea