astralzucchini

[astralzucchini]

My doctor writes me a prescription for “whatever”. When I show it to the pharmacist, she leads me to a concrete room full of vending machines. It's my lucky day.

[astralzucchini]

I used to be a human then i was godlike and perfect for a while and then I got tired and now im an beast. you know how it is

[astralzucchini]

my gf just ripped some ungodly ass that had my eyes watering i mean absolutely noxious it was so bad i made her leave the bedroom until she was done and i opened the window and shoved my head out so i didn’t throw up breathing in the tainted air of our once peaceful bedroom.

anyways once it dissipated and i got back into bed she walked back in and looked me in the eyes and said “sorry for farty rocking 🥺”

[astralzucchini]

Look alive, we detected a surge of girls nearby.

Girls inbound. Get ready!

Wave 1/10

[astralzucchini]

what are your twenties if not an endless string of the ghosts of who you thought you would become

[astralzucchini]

Who the fuck needs Tumblr anymore I'm just going to be looking at lamp posts from now on

[astralzucchini]

I really be wanting to erase myself from people’s memories

[astralzucchini]

Do you have any strong opinions on fish?

honestly yes!!! and im tired!!! of pretending i don't!!! here's the fucking thing about fish- they're

[astralzucchini]

I think the main trouble I have is [freezes up and stares blankly into the distance for three hours]

[astralzucchini]

Oh boy am I pissed off about having to participate in capitalist America

[astralzucchini]

incredibly based

[astralzucchini]

i need him so bad ep.10000

+ bonus content “i want to be their third”:

[astralzucchini]

what bothers me here is that the artist here obviously wanted to make the finished drawing less sexual and yet sonic still has his pants around his ankles

[astralzucchini]

radfems are consistently so fucking funny but completely unintentionally just accidental clowns

[astralzucchini]

i need to stop picking at my face but the problem is theres Textures On There and i would prefer if there Werent

[astralzucchini]

found family: awesome

found family but they fight crime: AWESOME

found family but they commit crimes: A W E S O M E

[astralzucchini]