asuiru

[asuiru]

ever since i was a child i knew i was meant to stan controversial female characters

[asuiru]

Characters who choose death but are forced to live, my beloveds.

Characters who have to come to terms with a second chance at life they never asked for, my darlings.

Characters who move forward on the trembling legs of a newborn fawn through the overwhelming, blinding crush of an existence they fully forsook but which was thrust back upon their unwilling beings, my obsessions.

[asuiru]

how do we think armand felt standing in the room in s1 as he listened to louis describe how he rescued this helpless angelic little girl and took her to the home he shared with lestat and begged him to turn her so she could be their daughter and they could be a family forever and then lestat did because he did want them to be a family forever. and then they had this audacious vibrant precious baby girl and she did fix them and they were a family and they both spoiled her absolutely rotten and drowned her in love and attention and bought her a soft pink coffin and played dress up with her like a doll and called her little miss and belladonic beauty and slept in the same coffin and made her the prettiest room filled with dolls and gold-painted walls and treated her like the most special wonderful girl in the world. and ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS SIT THERE. all she had to do was sit on the shelf and let them brush her hair and wear the pretty clothes and be her plucky shameless little self and hug and kiss them and love them and be her maker’s immortal little girl who never aged into adulthood and that was IT. and she could have had that FOREVER. ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS SIT THERE AND BE LOVED AND SPOILED. and never mind that she had no autonomy and when she pushed the limits they got violent or depressed or scary and when she left they fell apart and she was utterly responsible for louis's happiness and also their whole marriage and she wasn't allowed to be a grown woman and they read her diaries and withheld information and didn’t do anything when she was assaulted. she could have just been a baby doll forever. no one getting bored of her or passing her around to other people so she could earn her keep. louis not on suicide watch. her maker playing piano with her. she didn’t even have to have sex with them. ok anyway now imagine you’re armand in the corner hearing all this trying to focus on minecraft. “am i gonna be a virgin every single time i do it” alone must have made him blow up a village

[asuiru]

SWEEP TOSHO MAX LIMIT BREAK 🎉🎉🎉

[asuiru]

[asuiru]

a minor headcanon that I will die defending is that reigen initially assumed that mob’s supposed “psychic powers” were just how he rationalized his autism to himself. like here’s an obviously autistic kid, one reigen clocks immediately because he’s, well, reigen, and he’s talking about extra sensory perception and having powers he can’t control, powers that are scary. obviously, he assumes, this is something the kid picked up from his parents, a way for him to rationalize his alienation from other children— that no, you’re not “different”, you’re special (not even going into the parents who think their autistic children are like, aliens) and the other kids can see that you’re special and so they treat you like you’re weird and creepy and they don’t invite you to play and they whisper behind your back but it’s fine, because one day they’ll see how special you really are. and adult autistic reigen arataka, who was also probably-definitely bullied as a child, decides to nip that thought in the bud and gives the whole spiel, that no, “psychic powers” (autism) don’t make you special, and yes, they do make you different, and that’s fine because everyone’s different, and at the end of the day you have agency and you get to decide the kind of person you’ll be, so choose to be a kind one, and he sees this kid hanging off his every word as he tells him the kind of stuff he wishes someone had told him when he was so little and alone, and he mentally pats himself on the back and hypes himself up for another cigarette.

and then the kid makes a teacup float in front of him and he’s like oh. damn. can you kill ghosts

[asuiru]

Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

[asuiru]

first 3* blue spark ive ever gotten on the run with the worst luck ive ever gotten (had great stats but kept getting 5-10th in races. hit a 1% (ONE. PERCENT.) failure on a rainbow summer camp training that gave me a debuff that took 2 infirmary visits to cure. got night owl twice. didnt manage to lv4 friendship super creek til halfway thru the 3rd year. gave it up as a lost cause before finishing career much less ura.)

vs.

a very standard run ive done like 20+ times at this point where i hit 1100/600/600 in the first 3 stats and it gives me a 1* blue :)

[asuiru]

collection of things idk why i made

[asuiru]

The reactions to The Batman part 2 announcements are always so funny on twt

[asuiru]

"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.

"I feel dead inside all the time and nothing helps!" - character who does like, regular introspective thinking and is aware of the concept of mental health.

"Leave me the fuck alone I'll be fine once I get over my stupid shit." - repressed character.

"It's fine I'm just having an Empty Time. What? Yeah, empty times, you know, when everything is like bzzzzzz in your brain and you don't shower for two weeks. Why, what do you call it?" - ooooughhh now we're talkin

[asuiru]

seeing how insane 96% of the other umas are makes it so much better nice nature is literally just some girl who's also here

[asuiru]

and that's the end of it. there's nothing else

[asuiru]

good god.

[asuiru]

Can Jordan correctly identify three of their friends' breast milk? Let's find out... 🤔🍼

Watch the full episode on Dropout

[asuiru]

they’re each other’s pet cat 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[asuiru]

ok actual review

gameplay 5/10

throw bullshit at wall simulator. no skill no thinking required just try shit til it works. why does yelling into the hole in the tree work this time when last time i had to tackle it? no clue. and then theres a time limit so sometimes you just have to redo everything and its annoying as fuck. only reason its still a 5 is that they still managed to leverage it into some extremely touching emotional moments otherwise it would be like a 2.

pretty sure the redo mechanic is sequel bait lol. kept hinting at hopping between timelines then never following up on it. i know what that means. morphogenetic field time.

plot 7/10

bogged down by multiple weird action sequences where kaname date beats squadrons of gunmen by leveraging the power of porn magazines. otherwise quite good. not gonna get too deep into it for spoiler reasons but this man cannot catch a break. on the weeb ass shit meter ass is higher than my usual tolerance levels but shit is pretty low. i just love uchikoshi's brand of bullshittery (the convoluted and pretentious bits not the horny ones) what can i say.

that said multiple times throughout the story i went man. that is a gross overreach of power. disgusting. (referring to the main character. the main character is a cop.)

characters 9/10

great characters!! love them all but especially mizuki. back in the previous section when i was like date cant catch a break actually MIZUKI cant catch a break. was kind of hoping there would be another character cooked in a lab for me specifically like there was in zero escape but no dice.

im kind of obsessed with iris post mizuki-route though. insane.

finished ai the somnium files

7/10

for a game that sucks really bad its actually pretty good