asuraie-blog

[asuraie-blog]

endless summers,

@asuraie​

through the open window, umma’s wind chimes swing in the breeze. some of the guests are wandering out on the balcony, their conversations low and indistinct, overlapping with one another. it’s just a summer day like any other. 

“oppa.”

“oppa.”

“oppa.”

that finally gets him to look up from his book and at her. the past few minutes in the lobby have been relatively peaceful compared to the chaos that had been ushered in that morning, mostly families on vacation, and some younger couples who seemed particularly endeared by their presence. now that they’d dealt with that, yoonil’s decided that his assigned summer reading is more interesting than her. which is unfair because it’s a breezy afternoon in july, the perfect kind of weather for going outside. also unfair because he promised he’d spend time with her, not ignore her very existence.

(meaning she’s allowed to be the whiny dongsaeng.)

“are you gonna keep reading that?” at his nod she drags her chair closer, promptly letting her head weigh on top of his lap. he stares down at her and pinches her nose gently. “we can do something later, okay? five more minutes.” 

“you said that five minutes ago.”

“…three?” her expression says it all. “two?” 

“hmph.” 

“i promise. seriously.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

[asuraie-blog]

yeunder‌:

( KKT :  울 오빠 ) ( msg ) .. .. ( msg ) ( img )  ( msg ) did u think of that on ur own

( kkt : 철부지 동생 ) ( msg ) i bet you at least snorted ㅡㅡ ( msg ) don’t make me feel any older than i already am

[asuraie-blog]

( kkt : 철부지 동생 ) ( msg ) slow day? ( msg ) i know one ( msg ) what do you call a big tissue paper ( msg ) 휴지 ( msg ) ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

@asuraie

( KKT :  울 오빠 ) ( msg ) i’m bored at work ( msg ) do u know any dad jokes ( msg ) i feel like if u did they’d be funny

[asuraie-blog]

“Would you come back to haunt me?”

from here

mid-winter leaves her in search of warmth.

wholly unprepared, she wades through the streets, defenseless against the flurries of snow accumulating in her hair. this isn’t the first time she’s completely disregarded the weather forecast; nor will it be her last. for a sparing moment, though, she embraces the cold with open arms. for those brief seconds the world seems to come to a halt, even as people brush past her and cars continue to pass by.

(as a kid, anything is possible.)

it’s how she can manage to weave the unimaginable into reality, disrupting yoonil’s perfectly-made bed– now an undersea cave– in search of the world’s greatest treasure. as he attempts to finish the last of his workbook problem she swipes a pillow and promptly lands it on his lap, laughing aloud when he practically drops his fistful of pens.

go yeeun, didn’t you say you wanted to study?

i did, but i changed my mind.

he can only snort, the two red pens clattering back into the container to join the rest of his things. to the left, a mug of warm water awaits her.  he’d taken a look at her and disappeared wordlessly into the kitchen, steps echoing in the empty hallway. by now, though, she’s perfectly content, bundled up in a jacket too ill-fitting to be hers.  school bores her to no end. he knows very well by now that doing homework together is merely an excuse for her to hang around him, eager for company on days where her classmates retreat into study halls and libraries.

oppa.

hm?

what if ghosts really did exist? and we turned into them once we died? all of us, i mean. good or bad.

would you come back to haunt me?

duh. you’re stuck with me for life- you know that, right?

he makes a noncommittal hum, but she can practically hear the smile in his voice.

[asuraie-blog]

[asuraie-blog]

9) things you said when I was crying

prompt | bgm.

early autumn afternoon finds him in a flurry. 

just minutes before the storm (figurative,) you see the boy making his way out of the classroom and off the school building. it’s not long before he gets swept into the sea of students alike by the entrance, excited spiels of freed souls mixing into the crackly steps on red and yellow maple leaves. yoonil, out of this bustling crowd, is the only one who isn’t doused in after-school’s mirth.

-i’m in front of your apartment.

yeeun’s voice behind the call rushes him through gentle bumps and teetering steps, and he jumbles those half-hearted ‘sorries’ as he glides past the last group of students crowding the street. he barely finds the spare moment to fix the falling strap of his backpack on his shoulder, taking the usual walk (more of a sprint at this point) past the g25 store, ehwa women’s university, then the subway station right around the block of his apartment building. 

“yeeun, what happened?”

“…”

she doesn’t speak for a while, and neither does he. breaths still short on air has him grimacing, hands on waist and waiting. when he can’t fill the time anymore, he crouches down to brush her fringe away. 

“you didn’t tell me that you’re leaving tomorrow.”

she starts with muted resentment in her voice, teary-eyed and untouched. rebellious in the way where she doesn’t lock her eyes on his, and while that prickles yoonil with guilt– he barely stifles a laughter, wiping the tears on her cheeks with the hem of his jacket sleeve. 

“sometimes, it hurts less when the doctor gives you the shot without warning you. quick and painless, you know?”

“that’s such a bad analogy, oppa.”

how about studying abroad, yoonil? he answers with nothing but an inattentive nod, because he knows they only ever hand him rhetorical questions. while his departure doesn’t necessarily give him a heavy heart, the fact that yeeun’s crying because of it does. 

“hey, look. i’ll be back before you know it. you’ll blink once and i’ll be right here.”

“then you better be back with presents, because then maybe i’ll forgive you.”

it’s a promise. she finally puts on a muffled smile with the lock of their pinkies, and it’s all he needed to see before leaving the city in his dearest season.

[asuraie-blog]

[asuraie-blog]

27) things you said on the phone at 4 am :')

prompt | bgm.

“ssaem, but it’s friday. can’t you let us off a bit earlier?”

it’s the usual friday breathing spell, where the last half of the afternoon feels like it’s lingering on for a little too long. through the longing stares of most (except the pair in the back unmindfully dozing off–), yoonil does nothing but tap the edges of outline papers on the reading desk. and without anything else, he passes them an indifferent shrug.

“if you don’t want to do well on your exam next tuesday, then sure.”

ugh, ssaem–

huffy groans fill the classroom, but none actually grab their backpacks to step out the door. time always had a way with shooting through only when you realize that you don’t want it to, and yoonil wants to withhold it for them for as long as possible.

(they’ll thank him later.)

[리아누나] 11:45PM : are you sleeping?

he’s laying down by the time midnight’s crawling closer, barely keeping himself awake with an arm over his forehead. small hours start to cast heavy blinks on him, and he peels away from it by wincing at the bright screen of his phone. he calls her instead.

“i’m not.”-really? you sure sound like you were.“well, almost. but somebody had to call me just at the right moment.”-now you’re making me feel bad!

whenever she laughs, it rings. sometimes gentle like unforeseen night-rains, and sometimes resonant like outbursts that pop all the unnecessary bubbles in his heart. it’s always hard to keep himself from laughing along so obtusely, extremely heedful as she spills her day’s story about her little students and her minor setbacks. he cherishes every moment of hers.

“noona.”-hm?“i miss you.”

if time wants to fly past, he decides that he’s going to stop hesitating.

-me too, yoonil.

[asuraie-blog]

‘prompts: 1) things you said at 1 am 2) things you said through your teeth 3) things you said too quietly 4) things you said over the phone 5) things you didn’t say at all 6) things you said under the stars and in the grass 7) things you said while we were driving 8) things you said when you were crying 9) things you said when I was crying 10) things you said that made me feel like shit 11) things you said when you were drunk 12) things you said when you thought I was asleep 13) things you said at the kitchen table 14)things you said after you kissed me 15) things you said with too many miles between us 16) things you said with no space between us 17) things you said that I wish you hadn’t 18) things you said when you were scared 19) things you said when we were the happiest we ever were 20) things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear 21) things you said when we were on top of the world 22) things you said after it was over 23) things you said on the streetcar at 1 am 24) things you said with clenched fists 25) things you said in the back seat of a cab 26) things you said sitting still 27) things you said on the phone at 4 am 28) things you said but not out loud 29) things you said in the backyard at night 30) things you said on the highway 31) things you said while I cried in your arms 32) things you said I wouldn’t understand 33) things you said at the back of the theatre 34) things you said in your sleep 35) things you said that made me feel real 36) things you said you’ll never forget 37) things you said with the tv on mute 38)things you said while holding my hand’ 39) things you said when we first met 40) things you said when you met my parents 41) things you said you loved about me 42) things you said when you asked me to marry you 43) things you said in our vows 44) things you said before you kissed me 45) things you said on new year’s eve 46) things you said when you kissed me goodnight 47) things you said in a hotel room 48) things you said on our honeymoon 49) things you said when we were 18 50) things you said when we were 70 51) things you said as we danced in our socks 52) things you said with my lips on your neck 53) things you said in the dark 54) things you always meant to say but never got the chance 55) things you said under your breath 56) things you said in the spur of the moment 57) things you said when no one else was around 58) things you were afraid to say 59) things you said after we fell in love 60) things you said [make your own]

the ones with single quotes aren’t mine, but the rest are. great story and fic prompts

reblog if you want your followers to send you a number and pairing to write a fic about

(via robbersdjh)

[asuraie-blog]

the city brims with the season’s unparalleled ambient of rosy warmth, and yoonil stands in the midst of it all with an expression too aloof for the soft coos in the air.

he supposes it’s not so bad, with her by his side.

“why?” he throws her question back around, slipping out the hand in his pocket so he can reach it out towards her. the gentle swaying of his hand prompts her to continue her steps past the fallen apricot flower petals, patient and considerate. “–because i didn’t want to go to work today, that’s why.”

liar. she doesn’t say, but it’s almost as if he can hear it from the way she looks at him, her rose-colored cheeks complimenting the cherry blossom tree a little too well. yoonil can’t help but to free a burst of laughter, turning around to look at her face-to-face. he tucks the loose strands of her hair behind her ear, finger tips lingering at the side of her cheek. 

it takes only a step for him to pull her in by her hand, narrowing the distance between them. this time, he’s just a little more bold. a little more daring with a grasp on her hand that is stubborn about not giving her the room to shy away, and he stands with the same smile he used to give her during their own schooldays.

it’s as if he’s waited a whole cycle of countless seasons just for her.

“well, i wouldn’t have even thought about coming here if it had nothing to do with you.” 

@asuraie

trees surround them like a forest of pink clouds and lilypads, the sweet scent of the arriving season gently wafting from the petals that drift down to the ground like dewdrops. people dot the streets in singles and pairs, distant laughter winding through the bristled branches as jieun stops to stare. the scene before her looks like an explosion of pastels. gentle colors flood her vision until she, too, renders herself a part of this palette: dizzy, soft-spoken, and a little peachy in the cheeks.

he’s only a breath away, but her fingers reach out as if to draw him in – not because he isn’t close enough, but because he should be even closer. “why did you bring me here?” she muses in that very tongue-in-cheek way because she knows why. she knows more than anything, but she wants to hear him say it anyway.

“there are couples everywhere.”

[asuraie-blog]

yeunder‌:

“palette-poisoning!” half-amused, half-offended, she weighs the cherry tomatoes in her palms before submerging them in running water. with her back turned to him she can’t resist popping one into her mouth. still chewing, yeeun turns and out of habit, feeds him another before she resumes the task at hand. “geez. i didn’t know you hated it that much.”

not much thought goes into the rest- her hands do most of the work, washing, cutting, rifling through drawers and fiddling with the knobs on the stove. soon enough the kitchen brims with an added layer of warmth. she’s brushing her hair back to knot it with an elastic when yoonil calls out to her.

“which part of me?” he doesn’t mean too, but the question pricks just the slightest. why did you leave? her roommate, with her gleaming white teeth, unintentionally sharp. unable to understand as she lingered by her bed, why? what are you going to do instead? aren’t you scared?

“sometimes i think zoo animals don’t want to be in a cage. who would? all they can do is pace back and forth in that same, uncomfortable space. maybe after awhile they don’t move because they want to, but because they have to.” that stifling feeling she remembers all too well. she lets her fingers lift, motion from her head to her feet. 

“i couldn’t stand it. every part of me. i wasn’t going anywhere, and i hated it. i didn’t want to have to fit into something i obviously wasn’t meant for…and i wasn’t running away from anything, either, because i never belonged there in the first place.” 

yeeun lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and turns off the burner to her left, letting the sauce settle into a gentle simmer.

“what’s this about, though?”

“i’m kidding. mostly, at least.” with an inattentive chew, he lets the cherry tomato pop in his mouth. sour. he’s looking at the slightly crooked canvas print across the living room, bothered but too run-down to peel himself off the couch and make his way across to straighten it.

(sometimes, maybe things are better when left alone the way it is.)

through a fleeting reverie, he lets everything in his sight unfocus. even at his age of 25, yoonil still feels like a kid who never really grew up. a child who’s cloaked himself with a pretense of an adult, a professional, a teacher. a kid with too many novels in his backpack and no space in his heart spared for those short-lived, childish spiels about last night’s cartoon episode with his classmates.

it’s sort of this second-hand fulfillment he earns through yeeun’s words of conviction.

“nothing big, just one of those rookie-teacher type of dilemmas, i guess.” with a shrug, he lets everything come back to focus with the slightest smile. slight, but heartfelt as he lifts his back off couch to get a better look at yeeun. “i suppose the answers are different for each person. at the end, it’s about what makes you happier. i’m proud that you made a choice for yourself with courage.”

with the mindful reassurance, this time he lifts himself off the seat completely to drag his steps towards the kitchen. a slow run-down, then he gently presses the space between her brows. “you look better when you’re not so serious. also, no pressure––but i’m starving.”

[asuraie-blog]

[asuraie-blog]

sunwide‌:

if only momentarily, she’s stolen by the blue stretch of the sky. there are clouds folding over each other like waves, and she feels an immediate rush of calm from head to toe. her footsteps fall into shorter strides, but she doesn’t have to turn her head to know he’s matching her step for step.

as if the electrifying tickle of his fingers leaving her palm hadn’t been enough, she does, anyway. just to make sure he’s really there. really, really there.

“depends what you mean by ‘horrible.'” there’s a wayward curl that catches on the upper edge of her grin, impish glimmer of her eyes hidden behind the rest of her fringe when the wind brushes it over her shoulder. she has to bite her tongue to stop herself from agreeing with him right away. her track record proved that ria never really cared to fall in the middle ground between one shot and one shot too many. “go home or go hard,” as her coworkers would say.

and usually, it ended up being the latter.

“are you already preparing yourself?” she laughs openly, eyes narrowed as she stares him up and down. “maybe i need to end up going home on your back anyway. i don’t wanna disappoint you.”

“wow, you’re making it sound like i’m dying to carry you on my back.”

he adds a snort while passing her a honeyed glance, one-sided smile hanging by the corner of his lips. only the entire world except for himself knows the way he holds her in his eyes, flowing with amity that comes from all the soft spots she’s made in his heart since years back. every bit of her is caught and carefully stored in a wind-up music box, filled with nothing but flitting and precious snips of her melodies. “–but i’m always prepared, so there’s that at least.”

by the time they reach the small bar in the corner of the street, sun lingers in its half-size by the horizon. yoonil holds the curtained entrance for her until the waitress walks them to their seat by the windows, and the unceremonious saloon rings with laughters that seem to be evoked out of end-of-the-day euphoria for most. yoonil, on the other hand, feels like he can only join them partly with his mind soaked with uncertainties and unspoken worries. 

“you probably thought it was weird of me to ask you out for a drink all of a sudden,” he starts, pouring water into one of the metal cups before sliding it in front of her. “–and you’re right, because i selfishly brought you here so i look less pitiful as i resort to drinking my feelings away. if you feel like you’ve become my emotional hostage, then at least it’s paid for.” here, he adds a small shrug, his toothy smile soothing out the bumps in his words. he takes the menu from the waitress who tells them she’ll come back for their order, taking a passing glance before handing it off to jieun.

“and with that, you’re free to order whatever you’d like. i’m good with just two bottles of soju.”

[asuraie-blog]

봄날, 벚꽃, 그리고 너. | @sunwide

“선생님은 연애 같은거 안해요?”

이제 막 수련화가 피려고 몽우리가 맺힐 무렵, 당돌한 목소리가 잔잔한 봄바람 사이로 울려퍼진다. 해가 지나면 지날수록 짧아지는 봄에 아쉬움이 들어 운동장 앞 벤치에 앉아 봄의 흔적을 하나 둘 찾고있던 참이었는데, 이름이 가물가물한 여학생이 시야를 가로 막고 윤일에게 사람 좋은 웃음을 지어보인다.

“거기 딱 좋네. 거기서 한 일분만 서 있어라, 햇빛이 눈부셔서 뭘 볼수가 있어야지.”

눈이 절로 찌푸려지던 참이었는데, 고맙네. 마치 공기에 대고 얘기하듯 덧붙이는 윤일 덕에 무안해졌는지, 대충 짝다리로 고쳐 선 학생이 입술을 모아 잠시 고민하는듯 하더니 다시 입을 연다. “윤일 쌤 잘생겼다고 우리 반 애들 난리인데, 여자친구 없으신것 같아서요. 봄날에 그 얼굴 가지고 연애 안하고 뭐 하세요?”

곱게 다려 입은 교복 셔츠 위로 ‘이예지' 이름 석자가 새겨져 있는걸 보고 기억났다. 아, 맞다. 애들 이름표 달고 다녔지. 우리 반 뒷쪽에서 남자 애들이랑 맨날 떠드는 아이. 예상치도 못한 예지의 등장과 질문에 기가 차 허탈한 웃음만 흘러나온다. 대답할 가치도 없다는 듯 손을 올려 흔들어 주고 일어나려던 차였다. 학교 입구에 보이는 작고도 익숙한 모습 위로 벚꽃 잎들이 흐트러지는데, 아마 여태까지 자신의 집은 그 누구도 아닌 그녀였을지도 모른다는 생각이 문득 든다. 손을 흔들어보이는 모습을 보면서 거의 반사적으로 잔잔한 미소가 퍼지는게 느껴지는 순간, 마지막 종이 울려 퍼진다.

“야. 너 그렇게 뭐든지 추정하고 다니다간 큰일 난다.” 

“뭐를요? 헐. 혹시 저쪽에 쌤 기다리는 저분이 여자친구 분?”

서류가방을 털고 일어나는 모습이 너무 서둘러 보인건 아닌지 생각 되어 지은이 서있는 쪽을 다시 흘긴다. 금방 갈께, 하고 입모양을 보인 뒤 아직도 앞에 서있는 예지에게 작게 으쓱해 보인다. 봄을 짧았지만, 그만큼 소중하고 모든 순간들이 홀연했다. 그녀를 놓치지말아요, 라고 속삭이듯.

“뭐, 언젠간 그렇게 되지않을까.”

너가 말한대로, 봄이잖아.

fragment: 04.08.2019. 

[asuraie-blog]

[asuraie-blog]

sunwide‌:

watching yoonil talk, jieun finds, is like the unraveling of a long, long dream. memories that are hazy but never fade. there are pieces of his younger boyhood everywhere, tucked away in places that are easy to miss. it’s in the tiny crease of his upper lip and the bend of his fingers, minute details that she’d overpass had she likened him to something like a sunbeam. yoonil has been, and will always be, like a cloudy sky and a steady stream of rain. 

and on the days when the clouds disappear behind a sun so relentless and bold, she finds him in the quietude of their empty playground, anyway.

today, she finds him on her bus. “no, not funny! you’ve always been so gentle with everything…” a quiet drift-off as she spares a glance over to gauge his reaction, almost nervous in the way she bites into her lip. “…don’t you think so?” her smile, at least, tells him that she does.

she only notices they’ve rolled to a stop when the shift in gravity has her knees pushing against his thigh, eyes rounding open when she realizes her hand has already found a tentative grip around his arm on her way up to her feet. she’d blame her lack of balance if it wasn’t for the much too graceful way she executes the whole damn thing, cheeks a posie run of color when she agrees with something as simple as a nod. 

“okay, but you’re buying. one shot for every time i’ve wondered if you’d ever come back to our school. deal?”

with her, he always learns. learns that he can laugh without feeling like he has to, learns that sometimes, he should wait for cloudy skies to bring out the sun behind. he also learns that she gives and gives until he finally takes the utmost care that she showers him with, with rosy tint of her cheeks and ring of her laughter like a nightingale’s.

he almost feels selfish for the fleeting thought of wanting to keep her by his side until world without end.

“of course, i’m the one borrowing your company––but i don’t know about having to take that many shots, really.” it’s a smile of reassurance that he gives as he takes the hollow steps down and off the bus, taking her hand in his until he makes sure she also lands her last step off the ledge.

the scene free of scorched windows is still fairly bright, coral and hazy blue of the sky prompting the end of the day. the streets slowly contrast the brew of the night with neon signs and banner stands, and it’s the casual back and forths of what kind of new menus on the streets look good, how it feels like just yesterday that they were also wearing those school uniforms, and the fleeting expressions of hers that make him realize that these are the moments that matter.

maybe too much.

“i forgot, aren’t you a horrible drunk?” he turns his head with the question, pausing briefly to walk in even strides with her pace. “i hope at least one of us is fair-minded enough at the end of it so we can make it back home, though i bet that’s going to be me carrying you on my back.”

[asuraie-blog]

yeunder‌:

“if it makes you feel any better, i’d volunteer to be your guardian angel.” a cheerful quip by all means, unaffected by the look on his face that she’s seen a thousand times before. childish– so what? he’s still sixteen-year-old yoonil, pretending he couldn’t care less about her. and yeeun knows better. 

last night’s downpour has caused puddles of water to form on the street. she allows just the tip of her shoe to touch them as they pass, immersed briefly in her own thoughts. it’s the occasional brush of her arm against his that keeps her anchored, a reminder that she isn’t alone. 

(a sticky stain on her wrist, something like an apology. the cold metal chain of the swing, its creak of protest. he’s never looked as lost as he does now, so small. uncertain.

better late than never.)

“i knew you would, which is why the only thing i have in mine is two eggs.” she spares him an unapologetically bright smile before making her way over, scavenging for whatever comes to mind– tomatoes. a clove of garlic- no, several would be better. soon a decent number of things have formed a pile on the counter, though the sound of cabinets clanging open and shut hasn’t stopped. “time is a social construct. and last time i checked, you still haven’t had food poisoning, so.” 

“i think it’s rather a palette-poisoning issue than a food-poisoning issue, because your dishes started tasting decent after a certain point of my life-” he almost looks too serious with the confession, pausing briefly as though mulling over the scoop of his words said. “for the better or for the worse? i guess we’ll never know.”

there’s never an ounce of tension when yeeun’s around, and maybe that’s the hitch. she’s simply a part of the air, aerial and extremely comfortable to take in. it’s a whole load of words jumbled up in his head by this time of the day, and the lack of need for heedful engagements got him sinking into the couch. a daybed too big for a single-person, but he prefers it that way.

“hey.”

after watching her bustle about in the kitchen for a good minute or so, small hands busily searching for everything and anything–––he calls.

“when you decided to quit school, which part of you gave you the consent?”

the question’s asked in lieu of his distressed student. student with an expression of mild fear tangled in uncertainties, watchful of his reaction. he’d told her it’s okay, but his voice might’ve spilled his own hesitation. her face lingers in front of him, as if waiting for someone’s conviction. a boy who’s only followed the book, both literally and figuratively, has no say. but maybe, she does.