at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

June 22-23; 12:33 am

It broke my heart reading your messages. Not because I was hurt for myself but because it hurt to know you can think so badly about yourself. I am your girlfriend. Your other half, your significant other. The love of your life, your babe, your baby, your everything. O diba I’m so many things yet I’m only one person hahaha.Who I am to you, is who you are to me as well. Sometimes you’re even more than who you should be just go be able to be there for me. You go the extra mile even when it’s not necessary and you know how grateful I am for it. For you. I’m proud of the two of us for actually not being stubborn kids when we argue. I see and feel the change.Though I still have my moments sometimes, I’m aware. But I’ll work harder to be on a different level again, I promise. You’re there so I know things will always be okay at the end of the day. Me aside, there’s you. You who I know is so tired of so many things and worn out from dealing with a handful of people. You who is so tired of screwing up and letting people down. I mean to hell with yourself, others first, diba? Like I told you nung Monday, you are more expressive and predictable than you make yourself to be. To me, at least. You being more open? It feels good yet heartbreaking at the same time. Good kasi you finally share more than you do with me. Sometimes, me listening can be enough na. Heartbreaking kasi you are an amazing person. Genuine, and kind. You put others first before yourself. It’s almost so easy for you to be selfless even when you need someone to be there for you. This isn’t anything new, I told you this na. Sobrang daming good things na kahit paulit-ulit, feels so good to hear and be reminded of kasi nga good thing yun. Pero when it’s something we deem bad or negative, more than one interpretation agad, dami na ina-assume and sometimes, we just shut off and become stubborn. Or is that just me? Hahaha. De pero, makes sense naman, diba? Am I even making sense ba? I don’t know how to keep typing, I feel as if I have so much to say and I probably do so I’ll edit this in the morning or something. Anyway, to cut everything short, you are an amazing person. I don’t care what you say or think about yourself, to me, you are someone good. I hope you know that. Not just because you’re my boyfriend but because you are good as a person, too. You are a man of your word, a man full of capabilities and full of knowledge. You hold so much and give so much, too. I am proud of you for everything you have done, everything you choose to do, everything you may want to do. I am proud of you for who you are and who you will become. Because I know who you’ll be is someone who worked hard to make his way through everything and be wherever he can be and be so successful. I promise you, love, I’ll always be here despite you taking a few step backwards, a few steps away from me. No matter how much you push away, I’m better at pulling you back. Whether it’s through my stubborn, childish ways or my ever so patient and understanding self. You have all of me, I told you that. And having all of me means having my patience and understanding, too. Babe, I promise you have those two.

- Above everything else I love you

- i believe in you

- you deserve great things

- at the end of the day, it’s always me and you

- i love you

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

J U N E

June 1; 10:30 pm

As usual, we hung out. Our summer this year, compared to last year, is an upgrade. Last summer kasi we were just always at my house or going around in BF. We didn’t really go out to malls that much. This summer, we’re everywhere. My house, James’ place, Starbucks, Southmall, SM BF, Festival, Town, everywhere. Hahaha.Time spent with you is always fun. Feels really good and refreshing. I look forward to everything ahead of us. I really really do.

June 9; 1:57 am

Yesterday was another one of our dates that ended up being extra fun than usual just because we walked around BGC -- from Forbestown Road to Uptown mall. Which, despite us getting wet from the drizzle and sweat, obviously ended up being worth it because you saw and bought your daredevil -- the one we’ve been looking for since last December pa. On our way back you asked me if I had fun. If was happy. Siyempre I answered with a yes. Because I was naman talaga. And you told me you didn’t understand how I could have fun and enjoy e ikaw lang naman nag bebenefit.

-im happy as long as im wt u

-im happy as long as u are

-hanging out wt u is always fun and something i look forward 2

-i can hang out with u 25/7 and not get bored or sawa of u

-i love you

June 11-14 -- June 15; 9:08 pm

So this week was full of you and me.

-we hung out 3/5. 2 of which were biglaan.

-you were very very sweet

-dami mo nadagdag sa stuff mo

-you FINALLY got a haircut!!!!

-14 months na tayo (high five!! HAHAHA)

June 18; 11:40 pm

Today, though there was a little disruption, is one of my favorite moments with you. Just because you finally opened up to me about everything you could that time. Thank you.

June 19; 9:48 pm

You kept talking about our house and it makes me giddy in a way na... man I want dat 2 wt u

June 20; 2:09 pm

You picked me up today. Was such a small gesture but it meant a lot to me.

-playbox

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

05-19-18

1:43 am

When did we ever not love each other through everything we  have been through so far? So far because we both know there will be more. There is no after me or after you. No living a life without each other. We both don’t want that. And like you say, only I can change how you feel. I’m telling you the same thing. Only we can change what we have between us and everything else about us. But there is always an argument after another. Maybe not immediately, but always an after. Not only that, there is also pain. Pain, anger, hurt, disappointment, sadness. An after is followed with so much other things. After nga, e. Laging may kasunod. Hindi lang isa, hindi lang dalawa. Minsan sampu, minsan lima, minsan mahabang usapan, minsan ni hindi nag-uusap, swerte kapag walang kasunod na bigat, matatapos nalang bigla. Last night I thought of how much I love you. Not just for that moment, but since I told you that I do. And that was last year, April 24. It was the first time you said that you do, too. (see two screenshots for reference. HAHAHAHA.) (another side note: memorize ko yung “call u latwr” mo nung time na yun. and naalala ko na may screenshot ako nung time na sinabi mo yun.)

Masaya ka? Masaya din ako e. Since then and until now. Now let me tell you something I told Alex, that she didn’t tell you (but you already know): I love you and nothing will change that. What we have is worth it, you are worth it. Okay? I don’t know if you

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

M A Y

May 1; 4:15 pm

I feel so frustrated because there isn’t anything to do. The only thing I’ve been doing since the minute I woke up is think of you. Ang cheesy, pota hahaha. But it’s true. I thought of the first time I saw you, the first time we spoke. That day at Starbucks where you suddenly kissed me and it made my heart flutter like crazy. All those nights last summer just laughing and talking and cuddling. You make me feel every single emotion possible. Yes that includes being annoyed, frustrated, and hurt. All those drama drama not so nice emotions. But annoyed in a mild manner na din. Whenever you make asar and I’m annoyed but not pissed annoyed. Gets ba? HAHAHA. Basta yun. I always say this; I am thankful for you and grateful for all that you do. I am grateful to have someone who not only considers me or himself but the two of us together.

May 2; 11:56 pm

Today was good. Even if you weren’t in your best mood and even if things didn’t go as planned. Because I was able to spend time with you. A very very very huge bonus that we didn’t fight even if you were hot headed hehe. Medj kinulit pa rin kita, I guess, pero hey progress, right? I hope. Hahaha. I was kind of surprised to hear you say na mag summer ako ng mag summer para mabilis tayo matapos. Then it was future talk. I’m still surprised in a sense na... ewan, hindi ko ma-explain!! In a good way naman tho. Definitely in a good way. Honestly I used to really not care about the potential future I have with a guy. Kasi parang... man that’s such a long stretch, why am I gonna give myself situations to cry over dahil hindi natuloy? Why will I make my own heartache? Pero now, I look forward to the things ahead na. I’m very much committed to what I have with you. Honestly what I feel with you isn’t just kilig e. Kasi parang ang babaw ng kilig. Basta the feeling is genuine happiness and it’s strong. I’m not sure if I make sense, I feel like I don’t. Basta it’s kilig with a mix of happiness and all the nice feelings! HAHAHAHA. As usual, thank you. You know na for what I don’t always wanna tell you thank you and enumerate everything. I just wanna thank you and that’s it. No other explanations.

May 3; 11:31 pm

I wanna take this time and tell you that your panunuyo works. It works pero for a lack of better term, kulang. Kulang in the sense na babe, I’m a girl. Literally no matter what I want that lambing no matter what so push for it pa a bit??? Hindi yung you’re gonna do it then just stop kasi it seems like it’s not working. Onti pa, babe, onti pa. You can do it nga on a normal day, yung mangulit ka. Yung bad trip pa kaya ako? Lalo na hindi naman sayo. Actually mas madali pa nga na manunuyo ka tas sayo ako bad trip e. Except pag galit ako, iba yun for sure. I think. Ewan. Di pa namana ako nagagalit sayo e. Pero yun nga. Kulang in a sense na pls onting push pa. Onting pilit pa. For a lack of better term ulit, nagpapabebe lang din ako. I have my moments too, you know. Anyway, yun lang. deadass just wanted to say this. I’ll be back if I have more to write. I love you.

May 4; 2:02 am

I’m about to sleep and I felt like typing lang. I love you and I am proud of you. We both know you are capable of so much and that once you set your mind on something, you will get it done no matter the cost. Others may not see what you have to offer or what you can do but I do. I hope that is enough to remind you that you can execute all your dreams. Maybe not immediately, maybe not all at once, but definitely.

May 9; 5:55 am

“I love you. More than anything and above all other things, I love you. The love I have for you is greater than anything else. From the things I fear to all the mess there can ever be.” This is what I told you. Kirby I mean it.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

04-29-18

4:35 pm

It’s the usual Sunday and there’s not much for me to do. All I‘ve been doing since yesterday, since the past week, is think. Think about what’s happening to us, to me. Sa totoo lang ang dami kong gustong iiyak. Gusto ko iiyak lahat ng frustrations ko, ng worries and fears ko, yung katangahan ko, insecurities ko, lahat.

Babe I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t done a lot of things that I told you I’d do. I’m sorry I ended up disappointing you and letting you down; especially when you already did so much only to have me break much more. I’ve been full of apologies for a little while now and I hate it. I hate it because it’s not how I’m supposed to be. By now I’m supposed to be a better person. Kaso I’m not. Friday night I had no intentions of getting drunk but I ended up being drunk. I’m not that much of a careless and reckless person naman to put myself in that kind of position. I was just so sad even if we were supposedly okay na. Thursday broke me. Everything about it broke me. I couldn’t stop crying. Even when I was with Jules na. It took me awhile before I stopped. It dawned on me that I guess you’re really tired of me and all the things I came with. You feel tired and I don’t know how to make you feel un-tired. I left the house because I wanted to cry again. Cry everything out. I was ready for you to break up with me. I was so scared and already so hurt just thinking about losing you for good pero I was trying to tell myself na I’ll be okay even if you decide to go. I had to live with the consequence. But then you came to me. You chose to come to me even if you were already some place else, with your friends. I expected you to be crazy mad but you weren’t. Ako pa yung nagpaka stubborn and argued with you pa, pushing your buttons. But for some reason it all just ended up with you telling me to lie down. And I did. And then you pulled me close and spoke to me. Your voice was so gentle I felt like crying. Crying because everything just felt right the minute you pulled me close because right then and there I knew that you love me. (i mean i know you do but gets) You love me enough to still choose me through everything even if you’re tired. You love me enough to be there for me even if you could have stayed where you were. You love me to still keep choosing me despite a lot of things and even after all of it. I love you, Kirby. Thank you for being selfless enough to be there for me. Sleeping beside you felt good. Sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam. Ang gaan, ang refreshing. I realized that that moment proved my statement na through anything and everything, I will choose you. Kasi kahit na pagod tayo, kahit nasaktan tayo, it was still us over all of it. And to hear you tell me that we’ll have our own house soon enough? Yes please. I want that for us. It is not a lie when I tell you that you make me look forward to everything ahead. I kept looking at you lang while you were asleep. Di kasi ako makatulog agad e. I promised to myself I really will do better. Because you deserve to see me become a better person for myself and to be that person you know I can be. You have helped me come this far and I promised myself that it won’t stop there. I promised myself days from now I’ll make sure to change little things. Months from now I want to say that I’ve improved. Years from now I know I’d really be better and it’s all thanks to you. The guy who didn’t give up even when he was worn out, even when he said he feels like it, even when he could have chosen to do so. I promised myself that I won’t only help myself, but you too. I’d help you in my own way and be there for you like you’ve always been there for me. I told you to let me be your person, right? To let me be your go to. You’ve allowed yourself to be mine and you’ve let yourself fulfill that role. I’ll do the same for you. Thank you, love. Through anything and everything, I will choose you. It will be you and me at the end of the day and always. I love you.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

04-15-18

Happy Anniversary, babe. It’s been a year. Thank you for putting up with me through everything, especially all of my drama. I love you.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

A P R I L

April 10; 8:45 pm

It’s been a good minute since I last wrote here. Safe to say that I skipped out entirely on March hahaha. It’s not that I grew lazy naman, nothing like that. There was just a lot of things to do. Anyway, hi. Our anniversary is 5 days away and I can’t help but feel happy. I mean generally I already am. But like... gago katuwa e hahaha. Earlier we were on the floor, in my room. Me wrapped in a very comfy blanket that kinda made me look like a couch and you on the opposite side, holding your guitar and puffing on your vape in between songs. We were just there. I was listening to you sing and you were... well, singing hahaha. After a little while, before you left, you were singing the song you wrote for me. Gags I was tearing up. Buti nalang your eyes were closed HAHAHAHA. By now you know me inside out and you know that I’m such a huge ass emotional ball of emotions sometimes. Earlier was one of those emotional ball of emotion moments of mine. Idk I mean like... I’m just super happy and super contented with what I have e. You’ve made life better and brighter and it feels really really nice to feel this way.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

04-08-18

Writing this, it’s already Monday, 9th of April. Yesterday was Ed Sheeran’s Divide Tour Manila. We watched together and it’s definitely one of the best concerts I’ve gone to and definitely one for the books for me and you. Last night was really nice and I’m glad to have been able to hear him live with you. Honestly that made it the best; being with you. Pretty cheesy but true. Thank you for watching with me!! Wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’m glad you got over the whole “I don’t wanna watch because I feel like I don’t deserve it because I didn’t work for it” thing. Because honestly, you deserve it. You deserve to get something you wanted but didn’t have to work for. You deserve to be rewarded with little things here and there, every now and then for all the shit that you go through, for all the stress I give you (heh u loooove me), and for just being amazing. You get me, babe? So, yeah. I’ll be here tryna do that for ya. Because you my boyfriend and I love you and you deserve good things. I can’t wait to do more things with you. I look forward to everything we be goin’ through ‘cause I know we goin’ places. I love you!

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

02-14-18

Happy Valentine's, boyfriend. It’s all here and (partly) in the letter. Friendly reminder that I have your back no matter what and that it’s you and me in this together, yes? Yes. I love you!!! Always. Have fun reading the contents of this tumblr. :p

here’s a link to a guide of whatever you wanna read: https://at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always.tumblr.com/content

just make your way through it, i put specifics there. since you know, you don’t have a laptop so not everything visible.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

J A N U A R Y

January 2 2018; 5:43 pm

It’s been less than a minute since you asked if gusto ko magkita and of course babe, I do. Always. It’s been 9 months pero I still feel a little surprised minsan with some of the things you do and in a good way, of course. It’s heartwarming (and nakakakilig, duh HAHAHAH) to know na it’s been 9 months pero you’re just there. I mean, you’re not going anywhere (I hope) pero gets? Andiyan ka lang. Hindi ka umaalis, hindi ka napupunta kung san san, di ka nang-iiwan. So yeah, I’m glad. I’m happy. You make me happy.

January 8; 8:02 am

I’m on my way to school and I called you to wake you up and can I just say that your voice, kapag bagong gising ka, it’s so cute hahaha. Swear, babe. Ang cute. That’s why I like waking you up, to be honest. I like hearing your voice kasi. I do naman in general but like your morning/bagong gising voice is just gwapo and cute mushed into one. HAHAHAHA. Also if you noticed, the messages, whenever I make one, medyo short nalang. It’s long kapag I have a lot to say or pag madami ganap or like... basta ganon?? HAHAHAHA. Tapos the usual ones are just short, random things I wanna let you know/wanna remind you about. Mga ganon. I hope you don’t find it senseless tho cos I have a lot to say about whatever and you know it HAHHAHA.

January 20; 10:48 pm

You make me believe that good things exist. That good things happen. Because honestly, you’re the best decision I’ve ever made. The best happening I said yes to, the best person I can ever ask for. Last night was bad for me (not saying it wasn’t for u but gets). Deadass straight up bad. I’m honestly now a little more scared of losing you more than I ever was. That’s always been my fear naman since we started e. Since I fell for you. I think I heard Richard tell you that while I was breaking down. That was hard to digest, you know? And pota I remember you telling me pa na baka I’m too confident na you won’t leave me. Hell no, man. Hell no. Buti nga sila Alex and Richard were there e. If not I feel like a lot of things could have gone differently. Or maybe like, di ka nagbitaw ng certain words in the first place. Ewan. I mean, I still planned on seeing sila Jasper even after we fought. Tapos it was funny how Richard and I kept seeing you while we were walking. Inner BF was too far for us so we settled for Rancho nalang. Basta buti nalang they were there. Or you didn’t walk out after you said na break na tayo kasi who knows what could have happened after, diba? Basta gago babe last night was bad and I was just really really sad and got scared :(( Pls pls pls don’t do that again. Let’s both not make it happen again kasi gagoooo huhuhu that broke me, man. Huhu. But moving on!!!!! I know we’re both okay naman na now and basta pota pls no more break up ganaps pls, let’s avoid it :(( I love you I love you I love yoooou. I won’t ever get tired of you and I’ll be right beside you unless you’re just done with me nalang talaga (sad, iyak). Basta I’m here lang, always. You have me in more ways than one. You and me together!!!! I love you, Kirby. Thank you for staying.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

2018

Happy New Year!! I’m looking forward to starting this year with you and sharing it with you. I am sure as hell that there will be more “ang sakit sa ulo ni Nykhole” moments and I hope you’ll always choose to be the ever patient, so understanding, and very loving person that you are whenever those moments occur. I have never felt so loved until you came (siyempre always with the exception of mom, like you always say hahaha). Never felt so happy, never felt so cared for, never felt so understood, so appreciated. So much “never’s”, honestly. The list could go on for awhile if I enumerate everything hahaha. Basta babe, thank you. 3 years, 4, 5, 6, 10 years, and many many more years along with forever (wow yes, forever. di naman ako bitter like other people e HAHAHAHA) are all a long stretch. Medyo advanced hahaha. But I know that with my 2018, you’re a part of it. You’re a part of my life. And I always think na I couldn’t be more thankful and grateful than I already am and feel but there’s always more ‘more’ to all my mores. Hehe. I really really do feel so thankful and am very grateful to have you. I know you know that na but I’ll never not remind you and tell you stuff like this.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

December 30 2017

You were so clingy today and I so loved it. HAHAHAHA. It’s so cute and wala, nakakatuwa. Before anything else, I purposely didn’t post anything for December. I wanna write on the last day we see each other for 2017. I wrote a bit nung 14 just in case. Tapos you got sick so tutuloy ko na sana. E we went out today so tada! Hahahaha. Anyway, ayun. I just want to let you know that I love spending time with you no matter the weather, for what ever reason, during whatever occasion, at every possible time. And I’m glad to have spent 8 out of 12 months of 2017 with you. Thank you for everything that you have given me and done for me. Whether I asked for it or not. And for continuing to do things for me. Thank you for choosing to stay despite me being such a headache at some point. I love you!! You make life much less boring and so so fun. You keep my life eventful and light despite so much other shit. Your entire being is a blessing and I am just so thankful. 2018 is coming and I couldn’t be more excited. I love you.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

N O V E M B E R

November 1 2017; 5:50 pm

Another new month for me and you, for us. Right now I don’t have much to say. But I hope this time around, I’ll be okay na talaga. Not just for myself but for everyone I care for. Thank you for believing in me. For letting me know that you do and for giving me assurance. I really am scared, you know. My confidence in myself is so little To add onto that, people always have something bad to say about me. No matter how close I am with them or whatever. They think it doesn’t reach me but it does. And it hurts, siyempre. I trust so much that it ends up biting me in the ass. I just hope I become the person I’ve always wanted to be and the person I should be. For myself more than anyone else. It gets tiresome to keep being there for others din kasi sometimes. I get thrown out the window when new people come in their lives and ignored only to be picked up again when they need something. Kaya ikaw... thank you. Thank you kasi andiyan ka pa rin no matter what. I’m  stubborn ass bitch who is so difficult to deal with. Alam ko na yun. Alam na alam. Which is why your patience will be tested and is needed. Because even if I know shit na, or you make me know shit, I end up repeating shit lang. Which I will try my hardest to break na. Kasi I don’t want na, I’m shy na (pag di mo gets, it’s a liza reference lang, lol) So thank you!!! Thank you for the patience and for everything else. I won’t waste it. I won’t waste anything that you give me. Sorry nalang din kasi alam kong masasagad ko minsan. But like you said, we’ll be okay, yeah? We got this yo. Everything will be better for me and you alone and us together. We’ll make it happen. 

November 12 2017; 1:15 am

You recorded last night over at James’ place and idk, I feel proud. You do great with so many things and you continue to do more. I know you’ll be doing more pa in the future when you have all the things you want and need. And I’ll be supporting you ‘till then.

November 26 2017; 1:18 am

So yung totoo bakit di tayo friends sa facebook? Hahaha jk. This is something I want to tell you that I wasn’t able to say last night. You can’t keep walking out/walking away just because ayaw mo magsalita ng makakasakit sakin. Honestly? It hurts more tuwing mag wwalk out ka. Lalo na yung talagang iiwanan mo pa ‘ko? Tangina hahaha. Kaya even if nag eend up that you say shit, and that mas umiinit lang ulo mo, mas nagagalit ka lang, hahabulin kita. Hahabulin kita, hahanapin kita, pupuntahan kita. It’s not a nice feeling to have you walk out nor is it a pleasant sight to see. There’s that notion that you can just walk out anytime because you felt like it. I don’t need you walking out to spare my feelings, Kirby. I need you to try and not speak hurtful words no matter how angry you are, no matter how heated the argument is. Because honestly ako, kahit naiinis ako sayo minsan hindi naman ako nakakapagsalita ng kung ano ano. Lalo na yung sinasabi mo na kaya ka nakakapagsalita kasi napupuno ka na? I want you to try that for me the next time we argue. To just sit the frustration out and eventually talk than to say whatever comes to your mind and walk out. You tell me it’s hard for you to leave me. Na masakit din for you. Then please, babe, try not to. I’m sorry if what I’m asking from you sounds selfish. If it’s too demanding. (Though I know I have my habits as well that you aren’t fond of which I’m trying to not do.) But I don’t like seeing you walking away nor do I want you to walk away for good. If that’s too much to ask, then by all means, don’t do it. I don’t want you doing something na napipilitan ka lang. Especially if it involves me. You do you and you do you at your own pace. Okay?

I love you. Always.

3:34 am

You’re currently tryna put melody to the second song you made for me and your cam’s turned off right now and I’m lowkey glad cos I’m smiling kasi right now and just... kinikilig ako okay HAHAHAHAHA. BOOM GAGO NAGKARON BIGLA NG VIDEO HAHAHAHAHAHA BABE HUHU HAHAHAHAHA NATATAWA AKO SA SARILI KO AND MEDYO NAGPIPIGIL AKO HAHAHAHA GUSTO KO NA TUMAWA SO TUMATAWA NA AKO HAHAHAHA HAY SORRY HAHAHAHAHAH ANG HYPER, TF HAHAHA I LOVE YOU!!!! You make me happy and I’ll tell you that every time I can. Man, I’m sorry. You have a weird girlfriend I just ranted (happily) na ewan tapos... wew HAHAHA. Sorry na. Share ko lang na kinilig ako hehe

3:43 am

So Out of My League naman kinakanta mo ngayon and nakangiti nananaman ako HAHAHA gagooooooo Runnin’ Home to You naman kinakanta mo ngayon and tbh it’s one of my favorite songs to hear you sing. I could hear you sing that kanina sa trike e.

4:00 am

You are singing HSM songs and I am hella amused. I love watching and hearing you sing. It’s one of the things I’m fond of. Let’s see how far this’ll go HAHAHA.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

O C T O B E R

October 6 2017; TIME

It’s so cute that you held my hair back while I washed my face. Little things like that, I appreciate it. Ang cute din when you were making kwento to Heaven.

October 7 2017; 3:00 am

I’m not nagtatampo po. Ewan ko din kung bakit pero naging quiet ako bigla. Pero swear, I’m not. Bakit ako magtatampo? Kasi nagyosi ka? E alam ko naman na mag yoyosi ka kasi nga your vape was low batt na. Kasoooo, wag mo lang sana gawing habit yung ganun. Ikaw na din mismo nagsabi na kaya ka lang naman nag yosi kasi low batt na nga vape mo. Siyempre di lang yun yung only time na ma-llow batt vape mo. So dibaaa? Wala, kaya mo na yan, malaki ka na.

October 13 2017; 12:28 am

You have me so thankful for you that it lowkey makes me cry... but in a good way of course. I am in love with you for all the things that you are and all the reasons you are the way you are. From your most selfless thought to your most selfish, I’ve learned to choose to understand you than to go against you. Hindi dahil nagpapakatanga ako or whatever but it’s because like I said before, nothing will happen if I bitch out on you nor will any good come from it.  2 days into 6 months and I don’t regret a single thing. Despite your moody self, and all the pain in the ass that you come with, I regret nothing. And I hope you don’t too. I will forever be grateful of having you by my side. My best friend, my boyfriend, everything I want, need, and a whole lot more, I’m glad to have found my way to you.

October 28 2017; 1:57 am

Ang daming ganap lately. Sobrang dami hahaha First of all, thank you for all the time and energy you gave to perform sa variety show. I super appreciate it. Thank you. Second, man, 6 months na tayo. And it feels beyond great that despite everything, we’re here. Together and still moving forward. Thank you for the patience, love. Everything you do means more to me than it seems, more than I show. But I’ll be honest... right now, I’m a bit cautious around you. Cautious in a sense that  I don’t wanna take up your time, I guess? What Mary said to me nung Thursday got to me, e. You complain about time daw. We’re always together. Tipong you want to talk to your friends, kailangan katabi mo pa ako. That’s why hindi ako tumabi sayo the other night. Not because I didn’t want to, not because of the yosi, but because I became conscious. Conscious that I might be taking up too much personal space in your life. Ayoko naman ng ganun, siyempre. Taking away or lessening all the personal things  you have in your life id the last thing that I’d want and do - especially intentionally. So forgive me if I end up annoying you about asking if you really do want me around at a certain time or place. If you’re sure na gusto mo talaga akong isama. I want you to spend your time the way you want to rather than spending it with me pero ayaw mo naman ako kasama or nasosobrahan ka na. I’m not saying ayaw mo ako kasama or di ka nag eenjoy kasama ako (man i hope not) but maybe, too much time na minsan. And I don’t own your time, Kirby. So please, spend it how you want to.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

S E P T E M B E R

September 4 2017; 2:03 am

Tagal ko na di nagsulat omgggg. Tangina kasi ng theater e. HAHAHA jk 1/2. Anyway, I’m back yo hahahaha. You just made me listen to the song you wrote for me. Babe huhuhu. I love you.

September 5 2017; 10:28 am

I’m at the farm na. We just got here and ang hassle kasi I miss you na agad HAHAHA. Not in a bad way hassle though. It’s not naman kasi. Naninibago lang ako kasi ang tindi ng sepanx ko HAHAHAHA. Not like this naman e. And I’m glad na sayo ako nagi(gi)ng ganito. Ikaw yan e. Anyway, next time ulit. Imma enjoy here muna. You go rest nalang, you’re sick e. I miss you naaaa. See you tomorrow, ha? I love you!

September 7 2017; 11:02 pm

I’m sorry for earlier. I’m sorry kasi sometimes, I’m probably so annoying na.I hope you’ll still choose to deal with me at the end of the day kahit ganun. I don’t have much to say. Di ko mapiga utak ko, na-ssad ako na we’re still not talking hahaha. I’m sorry again. I love you.

September 11 2017: 8:22 pm

You’re prolly asleep rn. You’re sick nanaman. Almost one week na, wew. Anywaaay, WIl messaged me na kanina. The guy he knows has your deck na. He asked me if I’m still g to buy it and without hesitation I said yes. ‘cause I am naman talaga e. Was never not g. Sabi ni Jul “hoy ikaw hinay hinay sa pag gastos mo ah” which I found a bit funny kasi now lang naman ako naggagaganito hahahaha. Pati I know naman na I don’t always have to buy you anything or whatever. I just wanted to get you your deck kasi it’s something that would make you happy and something that you’ve been wanting. I just really want to be the person/one of the people to be able to give you the things na you can use/want and na it makes you happy. Basta you get my point naman siguro!! Hahaha. You’ve been saying na you want to skate na ulit lately so ayan. Don’t worry last na gift muna ‘to, next time na ulit HAHAHAHA. Belated happy birthday, advance happy 5 months (huwaw), appreciation gift yan HAHAHAHAHA. I love you so much! I’ll never stop doing shit for you because I can, and I want to. I’ll never stop supporting you with the shit you wanna do and all that. I’ll always, always, always be here for you. In more ways than one. I love you.

September 22 2017; 8:22 pm

Sooo after 11 days, eto ulit. I’m writing nanaman here. It sucks I haven’t written as much lately kasi putangina dami shit sa acads nawawala sa isip ko ‘to huhu. Sorry! Anyway, I’m keeping this short. I just want to tell you that I love you and you being a pain in the ass will not change that (one of the reasons kaya tayo click kasi i’m a pain in the ass din hihi HAHAHAHA). At the end of the day, we good. We gonna be good. Always yan.

September 26 2017; 9:37 pm

Earlier we were talking to your prof. Well, you were talking I was mostly listening lang. I found it funny na sir was asking “pano yan?” “pano siya?”

September 27 2017; 8:02 pm

So we ate out with Arianne then chilled at Starbucks for a little bit, just because we all wanted something sweet.

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

A U G U S T

August 1 2017; 9:38 pm

At some point of the night you told me that someday, we’ll buy a house. Tangina I want that. Kung pwede nga lang now na e hahaha. The idea’s too far ahead and feels to stretched and permanent and I don’t wanna jinx anything or get ahead of myself or whatever pero yeah, I’d want that. It’d be nice. Then you made me stand up and then you sang Grow Old With You. Ang cute non????? Hay, I love you. 

August 2 2017; 10:25 pm

Thank you for always being so understanding.I was medj nervous nung pinagsasabihan kayo ni mommy. Kat effect. Baka in the wrong way niyo ma-interpret or whatever. Hahaha. Anyway, main point, thank you for being understanding. With me and everything I come along with. Especially extra unnecessary shit. Thank you. Not a lot of people are able to do what you’re doing. Especially with me. I’m used to people leaving after awhile kaya medyo nag aadjust pa ako ng onti na andiyan ka parin hahaha. And I’m glad that this adjustment is because

August 3-6 2017

Sa sobrang daming nangyayari for the past few days, di ko na keep up mag write dito, sorry hahaha. Right now it’s the sixth day of August, 1:31 am. You’re singing John’s song right now and I’m typing this. Last night we had dinner with my mom. Thank you for opening  up to her. I know naman na it’s not easy for you to do that. I appreciate it a lot. Mom appreciates it din. Idk if you noticed pero while we waiting for our seat, nakatitig lang ako sayo almost the entire time e. Somehow I fell in love with you  even more. Which is weird kasi I din’t think there’s another more pero I feel like I’ll always keep falling for you naman e. I’m so happy na my mom knows you na. It’s nice to know na she’s come to like you na talaga. Nakakatuwa lang din talaga. Anyway mom talk aside, I just wanna repeat na I’m proud of you. And that...tangina cclear ko na ‘to sayo kasi baka ikaw nag aassume ka din gaya ng iba. Di ako bitter over Kazz or towards her?????? Ang daming nag tanong sakin if okay lang ba ako while you were singing your last song. Pati si Duane puta hahaha. Si Kat lang yata may alam na wala naman ako na ffeel. First of all there’s no reason for me to be bitter. Not the with the whole “past is past” thing. Wala. No reason naman talaga e. Second, hindi lang talaga ako bitter. HAHAHAHA. Forreal tho, I’m not. I’m only, for a lack of better term, bothered-ish (kasi I’m not bothered, bothered. I’m just...ewan basta yan hahaha) when she keeps looking at me. There was one time pa na parang ang sama ng tingin niya na ewan. Tas nung GA. Tas tingin din ng tingin nung nasa Gather. Pero bahala siya kasiiiiii I have no anything with her naman sooo, life goes on. I can not tell you this naman kasi wala lang talaga sakin pero I want you to know nalang din. Anywaaaaay, yun. I’m proud of you. For all the things you’ve done, continue to do, and (will) choose to do, I’m proud of you. Kasi I know at some point, your decisions take more than just one thought. That at some point the decisions you make or the things you do, use up a lot more of courage than usual. So I’m proud. I’m proud and I’m happy. You’re able to do things that make you happy and I’ll be here to support you. Kung tutuusin di ko naman talaga kailangan bigay sayo yung guitar e. Di ko naman kailangan mag effort ng ganon. But I did because one, I know na it’s something that will make you happy. Two, it’s something you’ve been wanting for yourself for as long as I can remember. Three, it’s something I know you deserve e. Not just because you want it, or because you’re my boyfriend, but because you deserve to have something in order to be able to do something even better/even more. Did that make sense ba... HAHAHA.

PS: Ang cute mo noh, sobrang inaalagaan mo yung guitar. It’s nice to see you being so careful with it and all. Sige lang, pagpatuloy mo lang yan, tama yan. HAHAHA.

11:11 pm

For some reason, I find you super cute right now kasi nananahimimk ka tapos I can hear your breathing na and your camera’s off nanaman and I feel like you’re asleep na talaga at some point but for some reason, ayaw mo ibaba yung call. I suggested you sleep na pero you just shook your head. Now it’s 11:15 and I ended the call na. You said goodnight na din naman na. So goodnight, Kirby. I love you!!!

August 7 2017; 9:15 pm

Time spent with you has always been a good time, has always been time well spent and surely, will always be. But the spontaneous moments with our in the moment decisions are always a little bit more good than usual. Probably because those are the moments where I know we can legit spend a whole day together or stay indoors and not doing anything/much and still have a good time. Or maybe that’s just me... kidding! HAHAHA. But anyway, thank you for today. I don’t always tell you shit but I’ll never not tell you shit. I’ll always remind you how thankful I am for you, for the shit you do for me - willingly and when I ask for a favor/something, for always being there for me and for keeping up with me even when you don’t have to or can choose not to, for being how you are with me despite a lot of things and through everything. I’ll always tell you that I love you just because I can, and because I do. I love you! Always.

August 8 2017; 12:25 am

I feel like you’re asleep na HAHAHA. Wala lang I’m typing here just to say na I love you so much. I love you and I just want you to know. There’s not much to say right now. Which is funny because some days I can go on and on about whatever and some days there’s just not as much to say. But one thing I know, as fucking cheesy as it is, is that I can always tell you na I’m thankful for you and I love you.

August 9 2017; 7:13 pm

I pissed you off nanaman. I love you. I hope you’ll be able to keep up with me for as long as you can. There will be days where I’ll probably piss the hell out of you and I hope by then and after, you’ll still be by my side. I’m sorry. I know that half the time, I’m a huge pain in the ass. Sana even if I annoy you like crazy, you won’t get tired of me. Kahit na bwisit na bwisit ka na, sana nandiyan ka lang. Love naman kita e. Makulit lang talaga ‘ko and magulo HAHAHA. I love you!!! Sobra. I hope you’ll stick around and not get tired of me.

8:56 pm

YAAAAY BATI NA TAYO TANGINAAAA HAHAHAHAHA. Hay, okay na ‘ko hahaha. I love you!!!!! Try ko na talaga maging less annoying hehe, sorry.

August 10-13

O m g.  Mahirap mag keep up with these notes during prelims, I’m sorry hahaha. In a span of 3 days, a lot has happened. Last night was a great night for you and I’m happy. I’ve been telling you more than once and in more ways than one that I am proud of you. I’m proud of you and I’ll always support you. Through anything and everything, about anything and everything. I’ll tell you what I’ve been telling people a few times now, I don’t just support you as your girlfriend but as someone who sees and knows that you’re capable of so much things and that you’ll be able to do them.

August 14 2017; 10:15 pm

Sobrang clingy koooo huhu I’m so sorry. Promise, minsan lang ‘to. HAHAHA. Tangina dito ka nalang sa bahay HAHAHA haaay. I’m talking to Richard and he keeps commenting about how you’re “the one” and all that kasi nga super iba ako sayo. Which is, for the nth time, true. It’s so hassle talaga kapag inaatake ako ng pagiging extra clingy ko tapos may iba pang tao. Lalo ko na-ffeel na bitin na ewan huhuhu babe nakakabaliw. :(( HAHAHAHAH. Para akong tanga noh tangina hahaha. Pero seryoso, hassle, nakakabaliw. I’m sorry!!! Feel ko naiinis ka sakin or something sorry na huhu. Sayo lang ako naging ganito ang sayo lang ako magiging ganito.

August 15 2017; 11:20 pm

So tumawag ka na. Ang kulit niyo ni Jul, ang cute para kayong mga bata na ewan HAHAHA. Today was a good day but tangina I miss you na hindi na ewan, ewan ko na nababaliw na ako huhuhu HAHAHAHHAHA pota. But eyyy 4 months na tayooo. To more things ahead of us, both good and bad, as long as we have each other, yes? Yes. I love you! And sorry kasi clingy ko nanaman huhu hahaha. Kanina before leaving the dorm, I was telling Kat na “Kat puta maghihiwalay nanaman kami ni Kirby, di ko nanaman siya kasama” ang tindi ng sepanx ko, puta HAHAHAHA. Minsan it feels weird to part ways with you, tbh. Not in an oa way naman. We still have our own shit, siyempre. Kaso wala, sometimes I’d rather do nothing and just chill with you. Plus everything’s much better when you’re around. Happy pill, chill pill kita e. Kaya sorry in advance if ever my clingy-ness gets to you in a bad way and mainis ka ng super. Sorry!!!!! Clingy ka din naman, okay. HAHAHAHAHA. But yeah, yun. I’m sleepy na sooo bye byeee. See you tomorrow!

August 16 2017;  7:40 pm

Birthday mo na tomorrow omygad. On top of that, aga natin umuwi today HAHAHA.

11:17 pm

Naputol pag write ko here kasi I got distracted and ended up watching and eating, sorry HAHAHAHA. But right now.. I’m so emotional huhu I’m back reading sa convo natin and I legit started from the very top of our conversation. (thanks to the ‘search in conversation’ feature sa laptop, pa search search lang ako ng shit na naaalala ko.) Sobrang na tteary eyed ako, to be honest. In a good way tho. In a good way, siyempre. 4 months pero it feels like it’s been a while. And I’m not complaining. 4 months and counting tayo ha!!!!!! Walang stop stop, pota hahaha. Stay strong sayo, kasi masakit ako sa ulo hehe. Pero love mo naman ako and I’d like to believe that you can handle my being pain in the ass. So just keep up with me, yeah? I promise I’ll always choose to keep up with you no matter what. Always.

August 17 2017; 12:00 am

(Pakyu gago, ako first blood. Di ko nga lang sinabi kasiii wala, trip ko HAHAHAHA. Pati kinatok ako ni mommy, so wala lalong na postpone pag happy birthday ko.) Happy birthday, babe!!! Gago wala naman ako masyado sasabihin kasi may letter ako tapos meron pa nito, dami dami nito pati like, the day hasn’t even started yet so yeah, yun muna HAHAHAHA. Be right back later with more shit, maybe. I love you!!

11:11 pm

Sorry kung kinabahan ka HAHAHA. Anyway, I hope I was able to salvage your day. I know how much you - I don’t wanna say hate kasi feel ko di mo naman hate soooo - don’t like your birthday so sana, Aro and I were able to make your night better than your day was. So yeah, happy birthday! It’s all in the letter and here. Sorry if you find it repetitive na hehe. But yeah, yun. I love you so much!!

August 27 2017; 12:39 am

It’s been awhile since I last typed shit, yikes. Dami kasi shit e. Hahaha. Hi babe!!

[at-the-end-of-the-day-and-always]

J U L Y

July 1 2017; 3:11 am

'Bout to (try) to sleep and I just wanted to say that I missed you and I miss you lalo. I can't wait for Tuesdayyyyy. Hopefully I see you Monday, tho. But it's okay kahit hindi. Lotsa days ahead of us. HAHAHA anyway, Imma try and sleep now. Brb, lol. I love you!

July 3 2017; 12:30 am

U da best. HAHAHAHA. Forreal, you are. You made me smile nanaman (not like you don't, you fucking do literally like 93% of the time or sum shit 😂)

July 5

April 3. April 3 yung day na na-feel ko na I like you na yata. I'm saying this kasi you said something about me liking you nanaman. Can't remember what na, medyo sleep na kasi ako. Typing this lan para I don't forgetcompletely. That was the day when everyone was over at my place. Yun yung I was annoyed na kasi sila John was super noisy sa labas, and makalat. Then you had me lie down beside you tas you kind of like hugged me-ish, I guess? I dunno, can't remember shit cleary kasi 😭😂 Basta you were like "chill ka lang, okay lang yan. wag na mainit ulo" and I fucking calmed doooown. In my mind I was like "yooo tanginaaaa, I like this guy na yata HAHAHA." It's not easy for me to calm down kasi when I'm really annoyed or whatever. A "chill ka lang, wag na mainit ulo" doesn't really work, doesn't really do much. Pero nung ikaw nag comfort sakin, tangina I was at ease almost in an instant. And wala, it's amusing lang. You've changed so much shit for me to the point na even I can assure myself na I'm in a good place right now and I know that I'll continue to be. I never really tell you (so much cheesy) shit but boy you mean the world to me. 

PS: Here's a little throwback to that day. Thanks to Arianne for calling and taking screenshots. 😂

PPS: I took the first one, lol.

July 7 ; 12:41 am

I swear to the all things great, it's really the little things you do. You just spent like a good 5 minutes copying everything that I was saying and it was actually so cute and not at all annoying 😂 athen you stopped and said “sobrang ganda ng smile mo. tamo napatigil ako dun” and sang a bit of JTWYA's chorus. Tbh I was hiding under my comforter because I was kinikilig and was smiling. 😂 It's something you're always able to do. Literally always. Not a day goes by na you don't make me smile or laugh. Even when you annoy me or whatever, you have me smiling after awhile. I love you. I hope you never get tired of me. Or maybe when you do, if you ever do, I hope you choose to not get too tired of me.

July 8 2017; 3:00 pm

You just said “walang next time” kasi sabi mo di ko dinadaldal sauo shit ko. Honestly? I'm not sanay. Never have I ever done something for a guy.

July 12 2017; 1:12 am

It's another one of those days where you make me feel too much and everything at once; in the best way possible, of course. You've been calling me baby so often lately and puta, it makes me feel so kilig talaga e HAHAHA. You make me so happy. So freaking happy that I can't bring myself to imagine how l'll be moving forward without you, to be honest. We're nearly 3 months and you've given me so much good things that make me look forward to what's ahead of us even more. Sometimes I kind of question why I have you.  What I ever did to have something like this. I never had this naman e. And I never really looked for it naman, honestly. I was done with getting hurt for stupid ass reasons I get from people. I was done getting the worst outcome I can ever imagine receiving and continue to getting bad outcome despite me trying to do good. I was done with boys na. I wanted to just focus on myself, and my friends. I wanted to stop everything because things that weren't there for me before, suddenly started surfacing. I was never the type of girl to question herself. Mourn over her imperfections and whatnot. Yeah sure I have complaints here and there but I never landed on the “i'm a girl and it's so normal for me to complain about anything and everything and bitch our and cry because i'm not pretty enough” spot. But I guess everyone has their own phases and eventually, I went through mine. I wanted answers to questions like why people never bothered looking out for me when all I've been doing is put myself out for people. Why people choose to do me wrong even when I try to do them right. If I needed to be the typical chix af skinny bitch that everyone would just fucking adore. I wanted to know why I was always being left out when, as mean and judgey as I can get, all I ever did was to try to make people feel comfortable and befriend. As much as I can. And then there was you. I didn't like you at first. The fact that my friend liked you, your existence as a boy was immediately switched off to me. I had no intentions of liking you, letalone falling for you and becoming your girlfriend. Your existence to me was for friendly purposes lang sana. Another new friend, ganon. But well... I fell. I fell and I'm glad that I had the chance to fall. You are one of the most genuine and kind hearted person I've met and I'm more than glad to be called your girlfriend and more than happy, proud, and blessed to have you as my boyfriend. I love you!!!! I love you sooo much.

July 13 2017; 8:50 pm

Today was one of those “let's go think of something to do and go do it because we want to and becayse we can” kind of day and it made things a little more fun than usual. Kasi let's face it, time with you is never boring nor dull. Earlier you asked ne if ready na ako tumagal sayo. My answer was a yes. The answer is a yes. It's been a yes for as long as I can remember and the only andwer will always be a yes no matter what. Why? Kasi tangina ikaw yan e. Tayo 'to. Gago let's do this hahaha. In two days, I'll give you more of what's on my mind.

July 15 2017; 11:45 pm

I'm ready to face whatever shit comes our way as long as you're there to go through it with me. Three months into our relationship and I feel and know that I'll be able to keep you in for the long run. You've done me good and continue to do me good. Game changer nga talaga. I love you.July 19 2017; 11:28 pmYou just met my mom and well, she likes you. She's been teasing me kanina pa hahaha.

July 21 2017; 10:36 pm

We had a little misunderstanding earlier today and I just wanted to tell you something. As 'chill' as I am and all that other non typical girl shit, at the end of the day, I'm still a girl. There's going to be days na I'll be moody kahit papano and just be masungit and whatnot and I hope you bear with me, I hope you stay with me. I'm sorry that I walked out on you. I shouldn't have done that even though I was annoyed. I'm sorry babe. :(( There are days where I won't be at my best and maybe sometimes, you won't be an exception from my not so best self but I swear, minsan lang yan. And promise din na if the situation really doesn't require or need a walk out, I won't. I'm really really sorry that I did. That was wrong on my part. Promise it won't happen again. Especially over sum petty ass shit that involves my being moody or whatever. Sorry talaga!!! Sorry sorry sorry. I love you!! Thank you for understanding me especially kapag moody ako bigla or whatever. I appreciate it even though I don't always tell you.

July 23 2017; 1:26 am

Tangina I'm so pressured to buy the guitar HAHAHAHA. Not because you're forcing me or hinting or anything. You don't even know na I have plans getting it for you. Na ppressure lang ako kasi you'rs hoping for it by Saturday and like tangina how HAHAHAHA. But hopefully!!!! I'll be able to get you the guitar within next week. :)) Tangina anything and everything for you, as long as I can. Sagad sagaran effort ko dito, babe. Squeezing in a birthday gift in 5 days (and maybe even less than, actually) Tangina from 25 to 5 days HAHAHAHA. Pero no complaints. Like I said, anything for yoooou. Kanina, you gave me reasons why I'm important in your life. I'm selosa pala? Really??? I'm not agreeing nor denying pero wtf HAHAHAHA. Pero okay, whatever. Your thoughts, not mine. I love you!!! I love you ng sobra sobra. In case it's not obvious enough and I don't remind you as much as you remind me. I want you to know na I do. I was speaking to John nung Friday and there was a part where he said “tangina if ganyan kayo ni Kirby hanggang December and all the way, I be 100M na magpapakasal kayo” it's such an advanced thought pero nakakatuwa isipin. I don't want to stretch my thoughts out all the way to that point in life but it's nice to think of it once in awhile. It'd be a great ass future if I have you by my side for the long run and the post run.Btw, I still don't know when to give this to you. I feel like this is such an 'extra' birthday gift and an overly cheesy thing to give you in the span of 4 months. But then again, it's not like you'll complain or whatever. Oh well papel, bahala na. Imma sleep now, super sleepy na. I love you babe!! So much. 💘

PS: You gave me your 13 reasons, here's mine —

13 Reasons Why I'm Thankful For You

You make me happy

You do me good

You understand me

You keep up with my shit

You don't give up on me

You listen to me - You listen to me not just when I speak but you listen to me when I have something to say; especially when it's for you or anything of the likes. Yes you have your own mind, your own choices, your own shy. Pero you consider me pa rin.

You make me smile

You make me realize things - The good kind

You are so willing with me

You annoy me

You let me be how I am

You keep me grounded

Because with you, I can say that I'm finally home

July 25 2017; 11:06 pm

We almost broke up today, I guess. Can I just say that I felt so physically weak kanina? I felt so light headed. It was hard to breathe, felt so hard to speak. I felt like I was gonna fall back down the minute I stood up. I'm sorry that you don't feel like I love you that much/so much or that I don't love you as much or that I'm not afraid to lose you. Believe me when I say I am more than scared to actually lose you as part of my life. I don't mind not seeing you everyday naman or whatever. I'm still myself, my own person without you – physically.

11:53 pm

It's cute how you told me na you miss lying down na sa bed ko. Funny enough, I miss sleeping/napping next to you na.

July 28 2017; 10:48 pm

It’s cute na John told us na when he sees us, he feels like he has a girlfriend kasi he can feel our happiness daw kaya happy na siya. So with us, he doesn’t mind third wheeling. Si Erika naman she agreed saying na our happiness is contagious daw. It’s nice to think that people think that of me and you, of us. Basta haaa. Promise. I love yooou. So much.

July 29 2017; 12:47 pm

Hi. I don’t think there’s much to say today.Or for now. Early pa e. Haven’t spoken to you just yet. Pero ang cute kasi you messaged me saying na you wanna see me. Cute mo din talaga e noh? Hahaha. I miss you!! Sounds super clingy pero wala e, miss you na. I’m excited to see you lateeer.

8:47 pm

It’s so cute and super nice sa feeling na you’re nakasandal lang sakin tas nakahug/nakahawak ako sayo na ewan. Wala, I love it. It’s nice, it’s comfortable. I love you!!

July 30 2017; 3:54 am

Kat’s asleep na and I’m still somehow wide awake (ish) I’m just typing to tell you na  I’m proud of you - you did good kanina. I know you don’t feel contented or you feel conscious or whatever pero it was good. And I’m not saying it kasi you’re my boyfriend puta no bs, man hahaha. I know you’ll continue to do better and I can’t wait to continue watching you and supporting you with the shit that you do especially music wise. Yesterday when I got to Rancho tas Rolf gave you the guitar, it occurred to me na I’ll never get tired of watching and hearing you play the guitar. And sing, to be honest. I love watching you do shit, actually. From playing the guitar, to our video calls na you’re doing your vape shit or kaya you’re tryna write a song or whatever. Ewan, I appreciate the moment lang. Monday na tomorrow!!! G na g na ‘ko bilin guitar mo, gagu. I’m excited to give it na din to you. I love you so much!!! I really, really, really do. You should know that na. Anyway, I’m so antok na, byerz. HAHAHA. I love you!!!!!!

July 31 2017; 11:01 pm

Before I sleep I wanna quickly type this down. I might forget pa kasi or whatever. I love you! I hope you like my (early) birthday gift. I'll always be here for you — to support you in and with everything. I gotchu.

At dahil atat ka, baka magalit ka pa, di ko na tatapusin ‘to. Dito nalang muna hahaha. Here’s your favor granted, babe. I love yoooou.