ateezficz

[ateezficz]

Bittersweet Memories

*Trigger Warning*

Genre : Angst

Words: 2.1k

"Two caramel frappes please" he said softly, taking his wallet out to pay before giving the cashier a sad smile and moving towards the left to collect his drinks. 

Whilst waiting for his drinks his eyes moved to see the bouquet of sunflowers he was holding, a small smile lining his lips at the thought of you. 

"Two caramel frappes for San!" the employee called, smiling brightly at him before he noticed the black sunflower tattooed on San's left wrist, contrasting the bright ring he wore on his ring finger. 

Though most of the sunflower was black, there were tints of yellow in a few of the petals which seemed to have remained unaffected by the spreading darkness of the rest of the flower. Immediately the employees smile turned sympathetic, his eyes unable to keep eye contact as he bowed before going back to continue his work. 

San had slowly become used to all the sympathetic looks he got, and as the sunflower grew blacker by the day those looks would only increase in number, the darkness of the mark was after all the symbol of someone he'd lost. 

He collected his drinks, walking out of the café and heading towards the only place he could meet you now. Though it was very crowded, the silence allowed for San to have a conversation of sorts with you. Though it wasn't a lot, it was enough to keep him going. 

Placing his cloth on the floor he took a seat before setting down the drinks and the flowers, smiling before he spoke. 

"It's been a whole year Y/N" he said softly, looking down at his ring and tattoo again before his eyes filled with tears. 

"A whole year without you"

He never thought he'd manage for so long, a whole year, 365 days, that's a long time and you were definitely proud of him for getting so far though he still had a long way to go. 

"Today is our three year wedding anniversary" he said, smiling through his tears as he remembered all the things he'd planned to do on this same day just one year ago. 

*One Year Ago*

"Y/N~" San called out your name, entering the room with a tray full of your favorites breakfast foods which were also healthy since you weren't the only one consuming the food. 

"San you didn't have to" you laughed, smiling brightly at the tray of delicious food which was placed in front of you before you gave him a peck on the lips. 

"Happy Anniversary babe"

"Happy Anniversary Sanie" you replied, giggling at him before you started devouring your breakfast. 

"Don't you trouble your mother too much today little one, she needs a break" he spoke to the baby girl growing inside you, laughing when he saw her kick a little almost as if she were replying to him. 

"You better eat fast because I have a lot planned for today my love" he smiled at you, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead before feeding you the rest of your breakfast.

Almost an hour later you were showered and ready to go out, wearing a light pink dress which fortunately was big enough to fit around your 7 month pregnant belly. Though it wasn't the same as the one you wore on the day he proposed, it was close enough and honestly you looked stunning. 

Driving to what you assumed was the park you smiled in anticipation, not fully sure of what his plans or intentions were but you had a brief idea of what he was gonna do. There had to be a reason as to why he asked you to wear a dress similar to the one you wore almost two and a half years ago. 

The park was the same besides a few renovations like the new water fountain which had been placed in the centre, or the increase in the number of children playing all over. It truly was a wonderful sight, igniting feelings of joy and happiness within anyone who saw it, and you were no exception. 

San grabbed your hand before gently pulling you towards the centre where the fountain was, the water from the same cooling the air around it on that hot sunny day. He told you to stand there before he turned around and pulled something out of his pocket, turning back around with the most smug look on his face. 

Getting down on one knee he smiled at you, opening up the small ring holder to reveal a beautiful sunflower ring, the centre of which held a gorgeous diamond. Your eyes went wide on seeing the ring, mouth falling open when you imagined how expensive it would've been. 

"San oh my God, why did you-" "Y/N, it's our 2 year anniversary and I wasn't able to get you anything special before so please don't turn this down" he pouted, laughing out loud when you sighed out in defeat and held out your hand so he could put it on you. 

The ring sat just above the small white lily which adorned your ring finger, serving as a reminder of the angel of a soulmate you had in front of you. 

"Thank you" you said gratefully, pulling him in for a kiss which both of you smiled into. 

"Can we get caramel frappes please~" you asked, giving him the most innocent smile you could and of course he couldn't say no to that so you ended up grabbing two of those from the café right next to the park. 

That café was, in fact, where you'd met him almost a little more than three years ago.

You remember being in a bad state of mind when you walked into the cafe only to see this extremely bright and jolly employee and when it was your turn to order you could feel the happiness he was radiating affecting you. 

You were going to order a black coffee but after some convincing you ended up ordering the caramel frappe, which is why that particular drink was significant for both you and San, it's the drink you met over after all. 

You couldn't be happier, you had San as your husband and a beautiful baby girl on the way, life just couldn't have been better and for that sole reason it decided to become worse for both of you. 

San held your hand as you walked beside him towards a flower shop which was across the street, but your excitement got the better of you when you saw the bouquet of lilies and roses sitting outside the shop. You let  go of his hand and walked ahead onto the crossing, making sure to look left and right even though the light for pedestrians was green.

"Y/N be careful" San called out from behind you, causing you to stop and look back at him, motioning for him to catch up and just as he was about to jog over to you he saw it, the car which was racing towards you.

You were clueless, not expecting the people to break the rules and before you even knew it the impact of the car colliding with your legs sent you flying across the road, your fragile form landing on the hard concrete like a rag doll falling on the floor. 

San was overcome with shock and disbelief, he was convinced this was a nightmare and he would wake up any second now, but he didn't. Nothing changed. 

The car still drove off without bothering to help, the people still crowded around your lifeless form pondering over if they should call the ambulance or not, every fragment of life within you still ebbed away like a receding tide. 

He still stood there waiting, but it wasn't in his control. He didn't even have time to comprehend what happened when the ambulance arrived and took you away, leaving San standing all alone, a look of pure horror and incredulity painted over his face. 

His knees threatened to give out but he had to make sure you were alright. Finally coming back to reality he realized the ambulance was already on its way back. He wanted to chase it but it wouldn't get him anywhere so instead he sprinted towards his car and drove to the hospital you were being taken to. 

Your anniversary fell on a weekend that year, which meant that the traffic on the roads was unbelievable and San could feel his heart beating faster and faster the longer he took to reach you. Glancing over at the bright yellow sunflower which adorned his left wrist he let slip a few tears when he realized it was slowly turning black. One petal was already gone, meaning it wouldn't be long before you would be too. 

"Goddammit why today!" he screamed, slapping the steering wheel before the light finally turned green and he was able to make it to the hospital. His heart was about ready to jump out of his chest as he frantically ran up to the receptionist, asking where you had been taken. 

"Mrs. Choi Y/N is in the emergency room" she said, pointing to the large white door at the end of the hallway. 

As soon as his eyes landed on it he ran towards it faster than the speed of light but much to his dismay the door was locked and he was unable to get through. He could, however, see you laying on the bed with almost every inch of you drenched in blood. 

"Y-Y/N" he whispered, his tears running free as he collapsed to the floor, his knees finally giving out underneath him. 

To him it felt like he had sat there for hours on end, just staring at the representation of his soulmate, the sunflower on his wrist, lose its colour little by little, but really it had only been minutes when the doctor opened the door and came out. 

"D-Doctor how is she? Is she OK? Is my child OK?" he asked agitatedly,  his agitation worsening when the doctor gave him a sad smile and shook his head. 

"I'm sorry, we tried our best to at least save the baby but it was too late. They…..could not make it"

The only words he did not want to hear left the doctors mouth and that was it. It was like his life had been stripped away from him in one second. All of his happiness, just gone. 

'They could not make it' these words had circulated in his mind for months after, becoming the cause of the nightmares he had almost daily where he had to relive all of it all over again. 

He would've given anything, absolutely anything to have changed the events of that day. Maybe if he hadn't let go of your hand you would've been alright, or maybe if he hadn't brought you out of the house in the first place you'd have been fine, but there was no point in regretting anything, what was done was done. 

How quickly his house, his home, which would've had three people living in it, had become so empty and quiet. How quickly he had lost the love of his life, the mother of his child, his soulmate. 

Coming back home that particular night had been worse than dying. Looking at all the things which you had bought for your baby girl, all the clothes you owned yourself which you'd been waiting to wear after the delivery, it all just poured salt in his wound. 

His babygirl, he wasn't even able to see her, not even once. The faint pink rose which had begun appearing on his shoulder began darkening, just like the sunflower on his hand. 

You  were both gone in an instant, and there was nothing he could've done to stop it. 

*Present Day*

"I-I never thought a day could be so happy yet sad at the same time." he said, sobbing slightly as his eyes landed on the date written on the tombstone, the numbers matching the date of this day. 

'5th November 2019'

This day had now become the day he gained you as well as the day he lost you, and nothing was more painful than the realization that the only memories he had of you were over the span of no more than three years. 

"I miss you, I need you Y/N" he sobbed out, his tears now beginning to soak the cloth beneath him, a few drops bouncing off the faint yellow sunflower on his wrist. 

"H-Happy An-niversary Y/N" 

[ateezficz]

Insecure

Warning: Mentions of insecurities, low self esteem, everything I deal with oop-

Smut Warnings : Oral (F receiving), Fingering, Protected Sex, First time

It was another one of the days when your insecurities got the best of you. Why did they have to appear out of nowhere and ruin all and any positive thoughts you had about yourself? And to add onto that, the fact that you were literally stalking almost all the instagram models you knew, wondering why you couldn’t look like then just made things worse.

You always feared that Seonghwa would be embarrassed to be seen in public with you because of how you looked, and thought that all the nice words he said were just a show and deep down he didn’t even like you. You wanted to be beautiful so Seonghwa would like you but you didn’t realize how much he actually loved you. All the negativity within you seemed to overflow in the form of tears as one by one they began cascading down your face, falling onto the sheets beneath you.

Wiping your tears off you got off the bed and stood in front of the mirror in an attempt to tell yourself that you’re beautiful just the way you are, but that little voice in your mind dominated all other thoughts. As your gaze lowered you only found more and more flaws in your physical appearance.

‘Stomach too round’, ‘thighs too large’, ‘hips too wide’ these were the only thoughts in your head no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself otherwise. The scars on your face and back didn’t help one bit as all you could do was break down in front of the mirror. Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, Seonghwa walked into the bedroom with his bright smile and joyful energy, but seeing you sitting on the floor crying shattered his heart to pieces.

Frowning slightly he walked over to where you were seated and turned you around so you were facing him. Feeling his touch you immediately wiped off your tears, trying to avoid having that conversation, but the expression he wore was crystal clear.

“Why are you crying my love?” he asked softly as he looked into your eyes with immense love and affection. His hands caressed your flushed cheeks as you broke down into tears again, climbing into his lap to cry into his chest.

In that moment all he wanted to do was help you calm down and make sure you stop crying, so he hugged you tightly knowing how much his embrace would help. His hands caressed the back of your head as your sobs eventually turned softer and when you finally stopped crying he looked into your eyes, asking again what the reason was.

“What is it Y/N?” he reiterated hoping you would tell him the cause of your tears.

“I-I feel so ugly. I look nothing like all the people I see online, they’re all t-tall and skinny but I’m not even c-close to that. I h-hate how I look” you stuttered out, avoiding eye contact with him because you were sure the look in his eyes would break you.

His face displayed pure astonishment after hearing the words you spoke. How did you even think about yourself like that? You were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he just couldn’t believe you had the ability to dislike your appearance, but the fact that you did made him extremely upset, and it was visible.

Helping you get off his lap he stood up and gestured for you to do the same, pulling you towards the mirror as he stood behind you, looking at you from behind your shoulder. Holding your arms firmly he asked you “Tell me, what don’t you like about the person in the mirror”

His question was very clear but it definitely caught you off-guard since it was quite unexpected. Stuttering a little you managed to list down all the things you disliked about your looks “**I-I don’t like my s-stomach, my legs, my arms and the m-marks on my back and face” **

His hands moved down your arms and wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to himself as you blushed a bright red. “Why don’t you like these parts of yourself?” he asked, receiving quite a straightforward answer from you.

“They’re too chubby, and the marks are ugly” you said, a frown forming as you looked down at the little tummy you had which Seonghwa found extremely cute.

“Now let me tell you why you should love these parts of yourself” he started.

“Your body does so much for you, your stomach holds all the food you eat, your legs help you move from place to place, and dance which I know you love doing and your arms help you write. Not only does your body do so much for you, but also for me. I absolutely love your cute little tummy, it’s beautiful and so are your legs and arms and every single part of you.” he said into your ear as he smiled at you through the mirror.

You gave him a half hearted smile because even though his words were true, you couldn’t believe them and he saw that. Turning you around he looked at you with a tender look in his eyes, holding your shoulder with one hand as he lifted your chin up with the other.

“_Y/N I love you so much and I can’t stand seeing you think like this about yourself. You’re so gorgeous inside and out and I want you to see yourself how I see you, so please let me show you how perfect you are” _

Your eyes soon began reflecting the look in his as you gave him a nod, feeling butterflies in your stomach when his lips gently took yours into his. The softness and warmth radiating off of them was just so heartening, and it made your heart swell with love. His soft touch sent chills through your body, and when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss you were sure he was an angel taking you to heaven right there.

You were yearning for more and it was clear when you moved closer to him, standing on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck while he wrapped his own around your waist. Pulling away from you for a second he turned you around so you were facing the mirror again, his lips finding the sweet spot on your neck almost instantly as he started leaving wet kisses, licking and sucking occasionally, leaving a mark or two.

Your half lidded eyes got a glimpse of his gaze, and damn it made you wet in an instant. His brown eyes had completely darkened over, pupils dilated with lust pouring out of them as he sucked harshly on your shoulder sliding the large sweater off carefully.

“Your shoulders - are so - perfect my love” he said in between kisses as he slid of the sweater completely from one side, letting it hang from the other.

His hands snaked down to the hem of your sweater, pulling it up in order to take it off when your hands pulled it back down. You stared into his eyes through the mirror, a look of nervousness very clear in your eyes to which he only smiled.

“You’re stunning Y/N, absolutely gorgeous. I love each and every part of you, please don’t feel insecure with me” he spoke softly, his fingers caressing your hands as he waited for your confirmation, which you gave in the form of a nod.

He slowly pulled off your sweater, leaving you in your bra and shorts, exposing all of the things which, according to you, were flawed. Your arms instinctively wrapped around your stomach, your eyes being unable to see his expression on seeing you like that for the first time.

His soft hands held yours as he slowly took them off of your waist, asking you to open your eyes before wrapping his arms around your waist. His affectionate touch put your nerves at ease as you opened your eyes, feeling more confident about yourself once you saw the look on his face.

“I love your tummy, it’s beautiful, just like you my love” he said as he traced the faint stretch marks which ran across your sides.

Walking ahead of you he pulled you into a kiss again, this one a lot more passionate and fast paced. He bit your lower lip, tugging at it slightly, smiling when you let out a soft moan. His hands moved up your back, unclasping your bra as he slowly slid it off of you, making sure you were comfortable every second of the way.

Bending slightly he placed open mouthed kisses all the way from your jawline to your chest, feeling extremely accomplished upon hearing your whimpers get louder. Your fingers threaded through his hair as he went lower, now kneeling right in front of your core.

Pulling your shorts down slowly along with your panties he placed a soft kiss on your clit, his grip on your thighs contrasting the softness of his pecks.

Soon his pecks turned into licking and sucking as he tugged at your clit, his tongue lapping up all the wetness which flowed out of you. Your body, being unable to process all the pleasure, began shivering as you lost your ability to stand straight.

Knees buckling and eyes closing, you let out loud gasps when he licked up and down your folds, his hands moving behind you to massage your ass. Seeing this he slowed down for a second, mumbling just over your clit. “Eyes on the mirror my love” immediately making you snap your eyes open as you became desperate for more. Seeing the way his muscles moved through the shirt as his hold on your thighs tightened only pushed you closer to your high.

“Oh my- fuck!” you groaned, feeling yourself get closer to releasing when he carefully pushed two fingers into your entrance, making sure to go slower knowing its your first time.

A scream ripped through your chest as your grip on his hair tightened, your legs momentarily losing their balance when he started moving his fingers inside you, already hitting the perfect spots. Your walls began clenching around his digits as you began mumbling out incoherent curses, releasing all over his mouth with a loud “Fuck Hwa!”

Licking up all your juices he stood back up again, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside before lifting you up by your legs and seating himself on the bed in such a way that you were able to see your reflection in the mirror.

His boner, which only grew harder by the second, began poking at the inside of your thighs as you began grinding down on him, your lips now marking his neck like how his did yours.

It didn’t take long for his sweats to come off as you stared at his length in awe, gulping visibly at the size of it. He reached out to the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a condom, ripping the packet before sliding it over his dick. Hovering over you he gave you a soft kiss, reassuring you that he’ll go slow and if it hurt he’d stop immediately.

Lining himself up he pushed in slowly, allowing your walls to adjust to his size while he groaned at how tight you were, burying himself to the hilt inside you. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to get used to the painful stretch, feeling pleasure slowly take over as you relaxed.

Seonghwa lifted his face just enough to look at yours, giving you a kiss on the lips before pulling out and thrusting back in, building his pace gradually making sure to not hurt you. All the beautiful moans and gasps you let out were swallowed by him as the rate at which he snapped his hips into you became faster, his tip abusing your newly found sweet spot.

“God you’re so fucking beautiful, so tight” he mumbled against your lips before turning you over so he was on his back with you straddling him. His length seemed to reach so much deeper in that position, causing your head to fall back as a sinful moan left you.

“Look at the mirror my love” he voiced out in a hoarse voice before he began thrusting up into you, sending you over the edge within only a few seconds as you clenched around him. His grip on your hips remained as tight as ever and his thrusts maintained their momentum.

Forcing yourself to open your eyes you looked across at the mirror, taking in the sight in front of you. Seeing the way his dick slid in and out of you so easily, and the way your breasts bounced matching the rhythm of his thrusts was absolutely euphoric.

Your moans only grew louder as you neared your high and feeling him twitch inside you along with your walls clenching tight around him, eliciting loud groans from him, ultimately became the cause of your undoing. A choked moan is all you could let out as you released all over him, feeling him exhale as his thrusts slowed down signalling he had cum too.

His hips came to a stop as your upper body fell over him, your eyes closing as your weariness threatened to pull you into a deep slumber. His chest moved with yours as his hand came up to your hair, caressing it gently before planting a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“You’re so beautiful, attractive, gorgeous, stunning, breath taking and every other synonym of the word out there, and I love you so much Y/N” he whispered, smiling to himself when he heard your soft snores thinking you hadn’t heard what he said, but you heard all of it, and it made your heart swell with love.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You are beautiful just the way you are :D don’t let anything bring you down

[ateezficz]

Thank you for tagging me!!<3 @exol-9-atiny-8

Seonghwa

He is the love of my life omg I can't even express how much he means to me 🤧

IDK who to tag I'm new here I literally just made one friend so uhm 👀 yeah :"D

The Ultimate Bias Challenge

I was tagged by my lovely bug @13-scoups

It’s like really hard for me cause i have absolutely no ult bias like... im not even joking. So I’m just gonna put the person that drew me to my ult group which is:

Jooheon✨🥺 (again he’s not my ult bias~)

Im gonna be tagging the following person starting (obviously) with my fav bean @ckyunoirs, @lovely-kpop-writer, @jod13tennant, @yunhoiseyecandy, @atiny-ahgase then those random people (that happen to be amazing writers so check em out :)) @yeostars @marigold-doms @serendipityunho

[ateezficz]

Rainy Day

The peaceful sound of the raindrops falling onto windows made you hum in content as your arm wrapped further around Yunho’s tiny waist. His soft chuckle echoed through the room when he followed your suit, pulling you closer to himself as well before his eyes went back to admiring the view outside the windows.

“You just came back and you’re looking out the window instead” you complained jokingly, smiling playfully into his chest when he replied with a yes.

It was surprising how quickly your mood changed whenever he was with you. His smile was enough to bring out the sun from behind the clouds on a day such as that and it did wonders for you. In that moment you felt so happy and giddy inside, mostly because you were hugging your boyfriend after almost two months of not seeing him

Inhaling his scent which you had dearly missed you threw your legs over his waist, climbing onto his lap so you could be closer to his heart and lips, hoping to get a few pecks from him. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pulled him into a soft and sweet kiss, smiling into it when the feeling of his gigantic hands on your waist pulled you closer.

The warmth radiating off his body was completely opposite compared to the weather outside, and it was a perfect combination. His lips were incredibly sweet, a faint taste of maple syrup remaining presumably from the pancakes you stuffed into him earlier. Humming into the kiss you didn’t even realize when the atmosphere in the room changed as your lips began moving with need.

His soft pink hair fell victim to your tugs as you further messed up his locks. You could feel him growing harder by the minute when your breasts brushed against his flimsy shirt, the feeling of the same turning him on much quicker than either of you anticipated.

His large hands slid lower, grabbing onto your ass before he began moving your hips on him, smirking at the soft whimper you let out. “Needy aren’t you?” he asked before trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, making sure to fill your skin with his marks not leaving even an inch untouched. The rewards he earned in return were the beautiful moans and whispers you let out, the pleasure gradually increasing as you started moving your hips faster.

Yunho became harder by the second and soon it became too much for him to tolerate so he moved fast in pulling your leggings off along with your panties leaving your lower half completely bare for him to admire.

“So gorgeous” he groaned into your ear whilst his fingers glided up your back, undoing the bra you were wearing before swiftly pulling it off you.

It wasn’t long before all your clothes lay scattered around in the room, his own sweats pooling at his ankles while you slowly slid down onto his length, a string of curses flowing out of your mouth as he entered deeper and deeper within you. His hands on your waist held you steady, a few soft groans escaping from him when you clenched around him feeling the urge to move take over you at once.

Starting off slow you moved your hips in circular motions, your fingers tugging at his shirt while you kept his lips occupied with yours. Understanding your actions he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it over to the opposite corner before he began thrusting up into you, the sudden change in momentum eliciting a gasp from you. “Oh fuck-” you moaned against his lips, your fingers almost digging into his shoulders as you started matching his rhythm, the pleasure becoming too much to handle.

Your high was nearing quicker than you anticipated, your toes curling and thighs shivering from the way his tip reached the deepest and most pleasurable spots inside you, sending you completely over the edge. You threw your head back, allowing a choked moan to escape you along with any and all the energy you possessed. Your body was reduced to putty in his hold as he quickly flipped you over, positioning your legs to be on his shoulders as he began ramming into you.

The hold you had on his hair made him groan, his sweet sounds sending your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you started clenching around him, your walls spasming as your orgasm washed over you like a gigantic wave of pure bliss. “Oh my-” your screams of pleasure were cut off by his lips as his thrusts grew sloppy, his own climax nearing as you clenched uncontrollably around him.

“Shit Y/N” he groaned against your lips, releasing spurts of his cum inside you as his thrusts gradually slowed down, now matching the pace of your breathing. Your chest heaved up and down as you caught your breath, a soft whine leaving your lips when he pulled out of you and lay down beside you.

The sound of the rain became audible again, now seeking to get louder as more clouds gathered overhead. You flipped yourself over again, wrapping your arms around his naked form before leaving a soft affectionate kiss on his lips.

“I love you” you whispered, smiling sleepily at him as your weariness threatened to take over you.

“I love you too Y/N, which is why I’m gonna get you cleaned up” he said before trying to push your hands off of him, laughing slightly when you whined into his chest.

“Let us cuddle for a while first” you complained, giggling like a child when he gave up trying and pulled you closer to himself. Closing your eyes you let yourself relax, feeling safe in his hold, almost falling asleep as the sound of the raindrops and his breathing served as the lullaby.