atemads

[atemads]

i felt frustrated to my/our 3 adopted children so hard headed i always need to shout before they follow what is their chorce and what to do next, but if our neighbor ask them to do something they go for it immediately..

its been 11- 12 months now i think when covid 19 was discoverd and i think 9 months now since they stay at my place

[atemads]

many things happens

this pass few days

our christmas was normal

but we do celebrate papa Jesus

birthday in our own ways

we enjoy and I greet him

and ate together with my kids

yeah my adopted kids althought not legally adopted but they live with me

since june 2020, no legal papers but

I enrol them and they are in modular class

and I am asynchronous class online

a day is not easy for us but we did handle it

to pass through

[atemads]

how i feel?

somehow i miss him after a year

weve contact each other

somehow were same busy

so just less time to talk

but still fine

and sometimes when

i was thinking about him

i felt hurt , dont know why

all of a sudden

[atemads]

finally they are free

[atemads]

A girL with a dream

but has complicated life

a dark environment outside

can she rise and shine?

Is she has ability to surpas

all the challenges ?

or she will surrender

and accept defeated?

in a life full or thorns,

is she willing to wait

and be patient for the

light to shine for her

[atemads]

A Moment

today was the last day

of them working here

it was just a sudden

they know about it

but they doesn't expect

His eyes reveal the sadness

he felt he was silent

afterwards I explain

and he accept it

he can find another job

too early dismissal

not expected, not ready

and not in payday

I'm fine about it

and surely I can

focus my lesson

with less distruction

so be it and continue

with kids around

im not alone just

that no one can

really appease me

and no can talk me

the way he is

but it's okay life

must go on

[atemads]

I just wondering why I feel

something was wrong with me

like i am sad, at first I thought

I am just not feeling well

tired, until someone tells me

why is that I am not happy

when there's no work here

i was struct by that and when

i came to my senses I just

tell him that I was just not feeling well

I gave half smile and pay then

got in the house

that time I just thinking

is that true do i look like that

i am puzzled now

[atemads]

I never thought

I would miss someone

who was not free

and never be

I gonna miss those time

with you the feeling of

being accepted with

who I am and can tolerate

the attitudes and modes I have

I miss you even if were just friends

even if they are against us

the friendship we had is one of a kind

we know that all of it was just a joke

that never happens in reality

but yes I admit you make me happy

when I Am upset, you keep me

calm and you remind me how to

be patient and good the joker

you is always you I feel you

[atemads]

I Miss You

the last thing I ever had imagine

to feel when you finally gone

at first I see you as trouble maker

can't afford to waste seconds

with you i'm irritated and piss

time slowly fly and pass time

your smiles makes me smile

your jokes make me laugh

your teas made me angry

you can make me piss off

you can calm me down

you make me feel better

One day I wake up

I wonder why I feel

it was so silence

it look likes something's off

i feel like i am going to be sad

I am going to miss those times

[atemads]

tinotoyo

the song I aLways hear

anytime everytime

anywhere I went

always almost everyday

this following daya why?

I don't either somehow

i feel like they are teasing me

using that song

it discribes a lot of me

in our daily life with kids

they also saw it and

experience it

somehow i felt irritated

but when i am in good

mood i just laugh at it

[atemads]

[atemads]

Friendship

perhaps this was his last day here

i feel him, the sadness but it look likes

the worlds against us

just the way i think

but truth is not really like that

i am just assuming,

we remains friends

coz I am that person

who treasures friendship

thats why i'm here in this

situation rightnow

somehow i miss him

(cbt,nov11,2020)

[atemads]

my 4th times was the other day

not to mention i was stressfull

and not know but mix emotion

after the angry, sadness kills me

longing, don't know why

but i think he already had my trust on him

its just a pity that it brokes my heart

into pieces

[atemads]

this is my third time

wasting my precious tears

in this house

i thought this is just a house

and the other one

was my home cause almost my family member lives there

but i never expected

to be opposite

as i thought

but now i was nowhere to go

not either here or there why?

because of the people living their some are protective but over

and the other one was hateful.

(cbt11,07,2020)

[atemads]

Do you know?

I was frustrated the other day

but someone lift my burden

and he wipe my tears away

it's just that we seem to

understand each other

but we can't be together

(tcb.11-05-2020)

[atemads]

there was some time

i was weak very weak

and that time

i can't stop my tears flowing down

[atemads]