aterma-blog

[aterma-blog]

I do not want to shed another tear over you

[aterma-blog]

I want to be treated like I’m special.
Because I am. 
I won’t let you convince me I’m plain and indispensable. 
Because I’m not.
I’m not asking to be showered in gifts and grand gestures, 
for a thousand roses
or gold treasures.
I want to be shown effort, and care. I want to feel like I’m your treasure.
Because you are mine.
I am hurting.
I am hurting

e.r

[aterma-blog]

I want to scream, and maybe this feeling will go away. But it won't so I'll just sit here with pent up anger and anxiety

[aterma-blog]

I haven't had upset feelings for awhile. that's why this blog has been inactive

[aterma-blog]

“how am I supposed to function in the real world if I cry over not getting invited even though I got invited I just didn’t want to impose?”

e.r

[aterma-blog]

oh I love you a lot didja know?

[aterma-blog]

I don't want to be a bother

[aterma-blog]

actually I am overwhelmed by this love I have for you, and it manifests into a pit of tears if I think about it too much.

[aterma-blog]

I am overwhelmed by my feelings of affection for you

[aterma-blog]

I always make tea to try and feel better but I never drink it

[aterma-blog]

everyone I know has dropped me
and the ground is very cold and lonely. I don’t want to feel like this anymore; a waste of space who is annoying those around me, asking them “what’s up” and “how are you” and “wanna get coffee later?”. it’s amazing how loyal I am to those who disrespect me. I’d run into a burning building even though I know they started the flame. 
I’m wondering if I made them get the matches in the first place.

e.r

[aterma-blog]

Shit! Shit! Shit! I feel like shit. I cried driving home from you I don't want to feel this anymore. I'm not sure if this is about you or me. I just want it to Stop! Stop! Stop!

e.r

[aterma-blog]

attention seeking and backward meaning I'm yelling "notice me! see me! touch me!" my motives are messy and my thoughts are gross nothing is good enough to satisfy this bottomless hole let me be honest for a minute; I want to be your shining star your moon and your sun I want destructive and chaotic I want you to ask me to hold you when you're lost and confused to steal kisses from me when you're on top of the world, when you have nothing to lose. I know better than that. I know better than that. I know better to act out and ask you for more. I know that I need to let you grow and come to love me on your own terms. Let me be honest for another minute; I'm so horribly terrified that you won't ever need me to be your steady hand. what if you prefer to share your happiness with someone else before me.

selfish (e.r)

[aterma-blog]

sometimes I feel like you only love me when you pull me on to your lap and breathe me in. I won't lie it feels good when you put your hands on my waist and press hard on my mouth pull me in closer even though there isn't any space between us you moan softly. but there's a difference between loving me and wanting me

e.r

[aterma-blog]

my heart hurts more than any broken bone and my wrists hurt more now that you’re gone my blood is thick and my skin is all that i have when I’m alone I’m empty inside- i pray to god its not for long

e.r (I wrote this a long time ago)

[aterma-blog]

This endless waterfall carved canyons into my cheeks. earthquakes split apart my chest and the rapid succession of wind scrambled up my insides but it doesn't hurt as bad, compared to the way you've been treating me. I'm raw from my elements but you left me to feel oh so lonely. Stuck inside my own headache I'm going crazy I just need you to show me you care that my presence is noticed and wanted

e.r (I don't feel like I have friends anymore)

[aterma-blog]

I skipped class today so I could listen to the thunder rumble shake my bones rattle me up its raining harder now. drown me in your thoughts puddle up your courage and tell me how you really feel I’m sick of thinking about tomorrow let me be here for the thunder and the pouring rain I am here I am here

e.r