atfelt-letters-to-j

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

1 June 2019

It’s been a long while. One and a half years flew by.

I don’t know if you still feel the same about our Endgame like you did in 2017. I won’t lie and say it’s not challenging being together this long.

Our priorities have shifted and we’re at different stages of our lives, which you’ve convinced me before that doesn’t matter and won’t affect anything. Is it still true and relevant? Please tell me.

While I’ve definitely lost myself in this past year, I hope I don’t lose you now or in the future.

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

21 December 2017

J goes to JB

Wow today feels like forever. I know you’re away for only two days but it feels like two years. I’m exaggerating because your girlfriend is clingy like that. It’s past midnight now and I haven’t heard from you, though I hope everything is alright. It’s been a whirlwind today and I wish more than anything right now that you were by my side as I spent my day. Exponentially wishing so. I’m just tearing up in the dark and feeling horrible.

Started out alright as any other day. Did my chores, lazed around a little bit, watched an episode of handmaid’s tale, chased birds out of my kitchen multiple times. My body is aching really bad too since it’s past 24hrs of MT. I even assembled my chair in my room! My sis was out since like noon so I just spent the day on my own and I liked it. Went grocery shopping, and since my mom hasn’t been feeling well, I made dinner for the fam and not just heat up some frozen food that my mom told me too. I made a bit too much of mushroom aglio olio. I loved my salmon hehe it was nice (but I suppose the meal is too “plain” for my parents who proceeded to add more sambal when eating my pasta... it’s supposed to be healthy *sigh*)

When my mom came home she felt very sick so we needed to send her to the hospital asap but my sis wasn’t home yet so I had to contact her and everyone was just on the edge, so my dinner with my parents wasn’t as pleasurable as I had hoped it would be after preparing it and all that *sigh* my dad who doesn’t do shit, still continued to instruct me to do things in the kitchen for him/them and didn’t even bother offering to wash the dishes although I’ve literally done everything else in the house today. I hate my patriarchal dad. It’s bloody annoying.

Anyway, we rushed off to tan tock seng hospital and all that, the usual registration consultation etc etc. ohh, and my mom contracted cellulitis on her legs, like ankle area up to her calves. It’s virus/bacteria infection thing that’s also life threatening (? mom googled this to show her boss). She frequently has this infection, it makes the infected area red and swelling and painful. So she couldn’t really walk either. So it’s either this, or sometimes she’ll get gout.

She needs to be admitted but there’s no ward available, so they put her in a bed and placed her in a waiting area with all other beds pending for a ward. They’ve to wait till morning because nobody gets discharged at night. I had to go home because I couldn’t wait with her since I didn’t bring my ID I was rushing.

I don’t know how tomorrow will turn out but the earliest she gets discharged is probably Saturday. Sigh

I hope she gets better

I really miss you

I wish you here

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

11-12 December 2017

Wellington - Singapore

Well well well. I guess this is the last day aye. Sigh

ANYWAY

First things first, we went to the WETA CAVE! Whoooop! It’s super aweeesome. Went for their workshop tour and see all the props and the process of making them. I miss film. And doing visual effects. There was once that I wanted to join Weta Digital. Also, finally my fam is able to see what we do for effects, because there was an introductory video that explained it all. I really really miss all of that babe :(

We grabbed food and headed to Mount Victoria for sightseeing and lunch. It was super windy and coldddd. Also very nice scenic lookout area. For the millionth time on this trip I wished you were there. But I guess I won’t have to be wishing that anymore since I’ll be back real soon and seeing you

We’re just lounging around at the airport now and as sad as I am about returning home, I’m incredibly to be able to see you once more babe. Wow. 14days(+1) apart and we survived. I’m proud of us haha Can’t wait to feel how it’s like again to be in your arms and feel your warmth against me. And how comforting it is to be in your presence.

I miss you my love. SEE YOU IN A JIFFY! Hehe

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

10 December 2017

Wellington

Today was museum day! Or at least it coincidentally became to be. Went to Te Papa Museum or the Museum of New Zealand, and went for three exhibits. The first one was about the war at Gallipoli and they had really really good GIANT wax figures of the featured soldiers. It was so detailed, that there were even sweat and tears and hair strands on their limbs. The exhibit was mostly interactive too. The other two exhibits were more on forces of nature and the nature of New Zealand.

We went to Botanic Gardens for lunch and sightseeing. I taught my parents to play monopoly deal! It was fun. The area had a lot of roses, and they were all blooming with vivid colors. They also had really quirky names like Absolutely Fabulous, Heart Throb, etc

Headed out to a cable car station in town area which climbs to the top of the hill of the botanic garden (coz parents are old and can’t climb to the top on foot and this is easier anyway). It was really windy and cold. I wish you were there coz it was very lomantic hehe there was also a tiny cable car museum and that’s where we dressed up like it was the 1900s it was hilarious I could stand looking at myself

I wish you’re here all the time tbh and I can’t wait to finally be able to travel with you

The evening till night was just spent walking around town finding a place to eat and packing my luggage. Oh and my sis ordered a diablo kebab which is extremely spicy and couldn’t finish it because it was torturous. I felt bad because I egged her on since those who can finish it will have their name on the board of the restaurant.

Welp.

Now I’m just a day away from returning home and I’m getting holiday blues. I want to stay here and never return to my life in Singapore but then, there’s you there so I do want to go back. Sigh can I just pick you up and come back right here. I miss you and I’m going to miss NZ.

I fell asleep a couple times writing this haha I’m old yikes

I got a sandfly bite near my right ankle and it itches so so so bad fuckkkk I hate sandflies

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

9 December 2017

Masterton - Wellington

It’s a real chill Saturday for us. The owner of small farm we stayed on gave us a quick tour of the area and feeding his cows, and checking out the stream at the back. He’s super handy he creates a lot of things for his children to play with, like campsite, mini-playground with even a climbing wall. Real impressive.

Went to town for some groceries and coincidentally the park we wanted to have lunch at had an Extravaganza Fair. Kinda like a circus with games and food and music. Real nice. Lunch made me sleepy.

We skipped a Stonehenge activity because we had to pay entrance fee and we feel it’s not worth it. So we ended up reaching Wellington really early. The accommodation sucks. AC not working and it feels stuffy.

Headed out in the evening to check around the area. Again, coincidentally there’s a Wellington Night Market where they sell international food. We bought a couple of vegan stuff.

Had nandos for dinner. (I had vegan patty) went back. Showered. Tried calling you when you got off work. Now I’m in bed and feeling really sleepy and blue.

I don’t want this holiday to end. I want to be in Singapore but I also want to be here.

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

8 December 2017

Taupo - Carterton

It might as well be Friday the 13th today tbh. Anything that could go bad went bad. It’s my least favorite day of the trip so far.

It’s been hot and sunny for few days but right when I need it to be, it rained from wee early morning till the end of the day. It isn’t heavy rain but it definitely caused a hiccup to all our activities. We even shifted the skydiving timings twice but the weather wasn’t good enough to fly. When we wanted to horse trek it was raining so it had to be cancelled. So we went prawning instead. I called the horse trekking place to see if it’s available once the rain has subsided (because the guy initially said it has to be tomorrow) but we got so hooked into prawning (lol ikr) we couldn’t make it for any timings.

Thus it was such a boring day and super wasted.

Oh and as I drove today I got a speeding ticket. I was driving around 140km/h but by the time I saw the police car and slowed down it wasn’t enough and it was too late. they caught me at 126km/h and fined me $230.

Welp fuck my life really. That’s my first speeding ticket. EVER. In my entire experience of driving.

The only thing nice today was that we checked into this place call the Little Owl Farm and it’s super duper cute. And really nice. It’s pretty minimalistic and neat and colorful I thjnk you’d love this place.

I miss you.

Sigh

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

7 December 2017

Taupo

Staying in this town for two nights just to take a breather in the middle of the trip. Actually there isn’t much things left to do and I’m a little sad.

So we went on this Rapids Jet boat ride along the lake where it did some spins and stunts with a unique NZ jet boat that they invented with no propellers so it can travel on water as shallow as 10cm. Super cool and fun. I enjoyed it a lot.

Made a short pit pit stop at the Huka falls. Really nice but kinda scary rapids that are super intense. The water drops at the edge over a 9m cliff with huge volumes of water that could fill several Olympic sized pools per minute. Mother Nature is crazy.

We went around the town area for lunch and they did a lil shopping. After that my sis and I wanted to explore the area since our horse trekking is cancelled due to hot weather. But my parents were too sleepy and grumpy that we literally just drop them off back at the inn and left. So we drove around the lake and found a good spot to chill. We were feeding swans and ducks with our popcorn. That wa kinda fun too I enjoyed it. I imagined us as old couples and feeding animals at the park. Haha

Then we explored through the town and capturing graffiti art on the walls because there’ll a graffiti art festival coming. Really nice art but I got really tired after so we concluded our day and went back.

The sun has been scorching and merciless. Dry and hot it was 27 degrees.

Tomorrow is doomsday aka my skydiving day. I’m nervous but also pretty pumped up. Can’t wait to see how the world looks from up above so high! I hate falling though the only time I don’t hate falling is when I fell for you. That was insanely nice and intense. I still feel sometimes I’m still falling for you and it feels like the early days of us dating once again.

Haha I somehow just seem to be able to talk about anything and steer the topic to about you, my incredibly beautiful girlfriend.

I love you please take care

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

5 December 2017

Matamata - Waitomo - Rotorua

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HOBBITON OH MY GOD. I had been looking forward to it for so long, and I’m so happy babe. Although it didn’t surpass my expectations in any way, it was still really great overall. All the merch was so expensive though I wanna die. And did I tell you it was only a few mins drive from that cottage we stayed in. Oh my god the cat. Patches. So fucking cute I swear it’s so fluffy and friendly and cute. It seems half blind. I really want a cat omg

We headed to Waitimo for Glowworm Cave. So apparently the caves are owned by a particular family that has been running tours for 128 years. So cool. The great great great great granddaughter was our guide. Everything was great till we took the boat to see more glow worms when I freaked out because they looked gross in clusters of dots. I felt nauseous I wanted to puke.

Nothing much happens for the rest of the day except for that stupid argument with my sister about pet peeves. Ugh.

I wish I’m traveling with you instead baby. I keep picturing us together in some places. Or doing activities together. Or checking in to Airbnb together. Grocery shopping and cooking together. I feel so clingy but really babe I wanna do everything with you.

J, I hope you know that I really love you so much and I’ll never be ready to leave you to live apart from you. I’ll never want that because I truly believe I’ve met the most perfect one for me and nobody else can ever match up to you.

I truly wanna grow old with you.

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

4 December

Whitianga - Hahei - Matamata

So it’s beach day! Well first of all today the sun was scorching and really hot. I didn’t feel the cool air unless we were driving at high speeds.

First up we headed up to Shakespeare Cliff Reserve which is just a lookout overlooking the beach area. A historic site with a great view.

Next we drove down to Cathedral Cove only to realise once we’ve reached the carpark that the actual cove is only reachable by foot, kayak or boat. Since it’s too far for my fam to trek (2.5km with steps/1.5hrs to and fro) we just decided to hang a lil bit at the lookout near the parking area. It’s actually a really pretty place but I don’t mind giving it a miss. (My parents can’t walk much)

We then headed a lil down to Hot water beach in the Hahei area. So there’s actually natural hot springs that’s accessible only during low tides. My sis and I planned the timing carefully so we won’t miss it. It’s along the beach during low tide and we used a shovel to dig up the sand, exposing hot steaming (ard 60degrees) water heated from the magma underneath the surface. It was reallllly nice and we bathed in the freezing cold sea and went back to our “homemade” hot tub in the sand.

After getting scorched at the beach on route to our next accommodation we made quick stop at Karanghake Gorge, as recommended by Nessa. Turns out to be really nice area that used to be for mining.

This Tui cottage we’re staying at is a cozy two stores farmhouse (sort of) with really nice interior and huge bathroom. BUT I’ve to share the couch with my sister again. She’s already fast aslee and snoring. Again. I regret not bringing earplugs on this trip.

I can’t wait to share my pictures and videos from this trip. I’m committing to take more photos and videos so I can hopefully make something out of it.

Oh we also found a spider on the couch.

Hope you’ve been having a great time in SG, there’s only 7 days left I think on this trip.

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

3 December 2017

Paihia - Whitianga

Hey love :)

I just feel like I could sit and look at you for ages and just admiring all the Beauty you hold.

I went on a two hour cruise around the Bay of Islands and the Hole in a Rock. I didn’t charge my phone properly the night before so my batt was flat towards the end of the cruise. Sadly we didn’t get to spot any dolphins. But the captain expertly navigated through a hole in the rock. Hmmm some PRC puked on the second deck and some of it splashed on my sister on the first deck. Gross.

Im sorry If my post doesn’t make sense I’m fullytired and in bed

Welp right after I typed that I fell asleep

I’ve been dreaming about you a lot since I’m here and it’s pretty nice in a way that at least I get to meet with dream J hehe

It was hard to sleep last night coz my sis was right beside me and she snores like mad sigh

But I was too sleepy to stay awake I kept falling right back to sleep

Baby I really wanna go on a trip with you I miss you so much

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

2 December 2017

Auckland - Cape Reiga - Paihia

We left Auckland at 630am and headed to Cape Reinga, which is the north most point of New Zealand. Reached almost at 1230pm, with only one stop for pee break and another for petrol. It was intense driving for me and it felt like Uber all over again. There were a lot of corners and bends and very hilly. I think I mentioned to you how if we were on an actually roadtrip you’ll be sleeping most of the time haha I think it’s true

Oh how I miss you sleeping on my arm/shoulder while I drive. And seeing how Ms Croc comes alive hahaha damn it I really fucking miss you

So after exploring the cape, which is mostly just a scenic spot with a lighthouse, we headed back south to our next accommodation. Sunseeker Cottage. The receptionist was very nice and the cabin is real nice and friendly. After a short rest my sis and I headed out to recce the place for tomorrow’s activity. We also went to the supermarket for light groceries shopping hehe it was fun

Nothing else much happened today and now I’m in bed wearing your jacket smelling it and missing you like crazy now

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

1 December

Auckland

Woah it’s night now and the area near this place is really noisy. I need to sleep. I’m imagining you’re here with me on this bed and wondering how it’ll be like traveling together. My parents are constantly miscommunicating and having mini disagreements, I wonder if we’ll ever get to that point in this relationship. And when I mean mini, it really is minor as compared to the ones we’ve had. Like arguing over what goes into which bag? Or like arguing over whether to keep the soap or not? I feel like most of the time my dad isn’t listening and he’s just hearing. I hope I’ll never reach that point with you baby.

Anyway, so today was animals day! We went to Kelly Tarlton Sea Aquarium and it was very nice to me. I like these things. Hehe. So my fave point of this place was that they really focus on conservation and rescue of the sea creatures and the various ways we can help the ocean. It’s a really nice angle and doesn’t feel commercialized that much. Oh and Kelly Tarlton is the man who started it all (he’s dead). My sis and I were surprised it was a man haha which brings my thoughts to gender norms.

Hmmm there was something really disturbing that the photo staff said to me while trying to sell keychains. She said these were popular items for guests and usually the girls go crazy about it, but I replied “No it’s alright”, which led her to say “oh? Coz you’re not a girl? You’re a boy? Haha”

I think that’s really disturbing for someone to say that, like your preferences over items determine your gender? I was stumped and just walked away. I wasn’t offended per se, just surprised I suppose because I never saw it coming. I used to get that a lot about how I looked like a boy when I was a kid but never again since I wore the hijab. I don’t know I guess I’m just appalled.

So then we went to Auckland Zoo, which I thought was a nice zoo because there weren’t many animals in their enclosures and there’s a lot of room for them to roam about such that most of the time we had to spend ample of time finding them. The animals don’t appear stressed (like pacing about) which was a relief to me or I would’ve felt so bad and probably cry. Some of the animals weren’t on display or they were just really hard to find. My fav part of this is that I got to see Kiwis! Hehe it was in extremely low light and they were simulating night time for them. I could only mostly make out the silhouettes of the kiwi but not much details because it was that dark. My sis thought the zoo wasn’t worth it for the price because there weren’t much animals and she preferred both aquarium and zoo of Singapore.

Throughout the day for both attractions I kept thinking about which animals you would like and those you wouldn’t. (The aquarium was easy coz I know you hate fish and the like)

And as you know I also met with the cat at the house that accompanied me for awhile. It was really cute and fluffy. I wish I had a brush to brush out all the fur it was shedding. It was really nice and cute and enjoyed my lap as much as you do when you sit on me. Hehe 😉

Gosh I miss you so much babe. Everyday I think about you. Everything I do I’ll be thinking of you. Oh I just had a thought of us making out in the showers here. Oops.

I hope you know that I love you dearly and you mean the world to me.

(Ps. So many animals in the zoo were humping I think it’s mating season? Maybe coz it’s summer and they’re in heat)

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

30 December 2017

Auckland

Collecting the car was no issue. It was smooth sailing all up till I totally mixed up the timing of the check-in. I don’t know why but I insisted it was 3.30. The host was pretty mad at us and even when we rushed, a 10minute journey became 30mins. Sigh, maybe I don’t get enough sleep.

Maybe I don’t have you around.

We went to the One Tree Hill place in Cornwall Park, it was really nice and cold. I wished so hard you were right there with me so I can take pics of us and your unparalleled beauty.

Then we headed over to the Sky Tower. It was really high up and nice too.

All these traveling and doing activities make me really really wanna travel with you.

Baby, I love you so much.

I’m looking forward to days we get be in each person’s company.

Falling asleep typing this yikes

[atfelt-letters-to-j]

29 December 2017

Singapore

So it begins. I’ll be dedicating posts on this blog as modern day millennial letter to my beloved J, (that’s you), for every day that I’ll be oceans apart from my one true love.

Hehe

So the flight was smooth except the landing was a little shaky and made my heart drop a couple of times.

I watched two naruto movies and another anime movie that was converted into a live action film. I only fell asleep for two hours because I was rudely awakened by snoring. By my dad’s and some other passenger. But the good thing is nobody sits behind me, so I can rest as low as I want with nobody kicking and knocking into me.

Everytime I see the stewardess walk past I imagine how it’d be like if you’re one of them, and flying with SIA. I’ll also see how perfect their hair are and get reminded of yours.

My family and I were incredibly nervous that the food we brought will be uncovered by the immigration because that is instant fine of 400NZD.

Ugh I’m really sleepy now and I miss you terribly