athena-swords - Tumblr blog

athena-swords · 18 days

Text

❤️‍🩹I Just Want to be Loved ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

We attract terrible loves for various reasons; so many lessons; but now sorrow has got to lessen. Let’s reveal patterns by exhuming roots. We’ve got to stop this cycle of disappointments. Done being made to feel as if we’re hard to love.

We’re not hard to love. Many of us were simply denied love, warmth and affection as we were growing up… Don’t know how to love self; don’t know how to love others; basically don’t know how to even receive Love… Who’s to blame now?

Why the hell were so many children denied love, warmth, affection…?

What are you going to do with yourself when you were denied love, warmth and affection as you were growing up?

☆♪°・.

‘The child who isn’t embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ – an African proverb

People denied warmth and affection tend to fall into a desperate loop of fishing for attention as a result of love-deficiency, right? Some learn to lick love off a knife; some pursue success (whatever that means) all too frantically; some…shoot complete strangers in broad daylight; and some who ain’t got the guts to murder complete strangers in public places go instead for antagonising strangers on social media… Gosh, that is desperate.

But you know what, not all hope is lost because there’s still plenty of us who are blessed with this incredibly RARE thing called self-awareness. There are plenty of us who will take our traumas to the graveyard than pass them down the next generations.

You, don’t deserve to have your sanity and your Life ruined by some psychos who didn’t know how to love you. Reclaim lost pieces of yourself by understanding THREE Houses in your natal chart, babe:

4th House: your roots; tells you what was lacking in your home; explains your erratic 10th House ambitions

8th House: your marriage or your desire for a bond like it; this the House where trauma manifests itself in full spectrum

11th House: your wish fulfilment; where you connect with people who support your visions; breeds a healthy sense of connection, even community

SONG: Emptiness by BoA

MOVIE: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Because I Can’t Even Trust Myself

VIBE: Trust by Hamasaki Ayumi

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Pentacles Rx

It’s clear your childhood didn’t offer a sense of stability or security—the physical kind that children usually need. It could be that a grownup left early or it could be that you moved around a lot, so you easily lost contact with new friends you’d just made. In essence, it feels like you grew up feeling ‘everything disappears eventually; everyone leaves eventually’.

Some of you might’ve grown up not having a lot of material resources, but for the majority of you tuning into this Pile, it was more a feeling of a lack of warmth. For children, the pain of neglect and a lack of emotional connection do really affect our physical health more severely. You might’ve grown up poor and sickly due to all the grownups around you being inattentive, unaffectionate, and just…unreliable at best.

Because of this awareness, from a young age you realised you would have to do everything yourself. You wanted to grow up quickly and do your own things your own ways. It’s not like you had to grow up fast, you wanted to grow up fast to have your freedom and power! It was…hard to trust adults. It was hard to trust the world at large.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 8 of Pentacles

On the path of growing up, I think you became a hard worker of sort? This is very nuanced though—there are layers to your developing yourself to become a hardworking person. In many ways, you grew up responsible because you didn’t want to become like the adults who had disappointed you. But since this sense of ‘responsibility’ is a product of neglect and trauma…this is coming off as your feeling responsible for everything. Everything!

Some of you could’ve been too hard on yourself, expecting way too much for your age. You’ve felt like you’re always the one with everything to prove. It’s hard living like that. It feels like you’ve put so much effort into keeping everything together, and yet, nobody sees how much you care. Nobody truly understands the fear in your mind and pain you carry in your heart.

In matters of relationship, you cling extra hard to friends or lovers, too; because deep down you’re afraid of losing things and people, again and again. This unhealthy attachment—and to some extent, controlling behaviour—is truly your wounded inner child attempting frantically to keep your Reality from falling apart…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Cups

I’m very sure that at some point in Life, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides are going to kick in and meddle with your Earthly business. For some people, it’s possible you could lose contact with everybody you’ve ever known in Life and go into a hermit mode to find yourself again. For some, it could be that your whole Life is simply flipped, without necessarily losing key people in your Life, for you to look at Life and human connections from a very different point of view.

It’s going to be hard, of course. Emotionally, it could be devastating. Themes of abandonment and betrayal are big in your incarnation. But you know, ultimately, all of these challenges serve to remind you that the Cup of Love and Affection you’ve been looking for has always been right inside of you. You’ve had a bitter time with a lot of people because deep down you couldn’t trust them. You couldn’t trust other people’s loyalty because you didn’t even believe that you’re worthy of that Love and Loyalty you yearn for.

Your Spirit Guides are saying, that although at some point in Life things are going to get really tough, know that when you’ve graduated those lessons, you’re going to be rewarded with the most beautiful Soulmate-shit friendships, familyship and relationship. Truth be told, part of your Soul’s scenario in this incarnation is to find your Soul Tribe; and find your Tribe you shall~

A L O N E🔻💗

ALL of you – Red Alchemist (John Dee)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Misled by My Own Compassion

VIBE: Cry Me A River by Julie London

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Knight of Cups

It’s very likely your 4th House is in a Water sign, but if not, you’re still very much a Water-y person; perhaps your Ascendant or Moon is in a Water sign, or that you have Neptune/Moon near/in your 4th, 7th or 11th House. All of this generally makes you a deeply compassionate person. No matter what outer appearances give, you strive to look deeper into a person’s Soul. You have so much empathy and you want to believe in the good of people.

Alas! This rotten world doesn’t make it too easy. This world is not a world where kindness and compassion are truly rewarded, if we don’t learn to be a tad cruel ourselves. You’re not in the wrong for being so genuinely good and compassionate; it’s this world that’s the wrong world. You know that? Therefore, it is paramount you learn to be a bitchilante! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In spite of this PAC’s intro, I sense the majority of you tuning into this Pile actually grew up quite well. Many of you actually grew up in loving homes and that’s why it’s been quite challenging for you to grapple with the realness of the ugliness of the world outside of your loving home. Really…people in the real world…are monsters! And you were taken aback!

But some of you instead most likely grew up in chaotic, battlefield-esque homes and that’s why you’ve striven to be so good to a point of detriment.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – 0 The Fool Rx

Be that as it may, you being you… Well, you do put in the effort to try and understand what makes monsters the way that they are, right? It’s all good and wonderful, until you get yourself in deep trouble where nobody can save you but your own monstrosity. Depending on your age when reading this, this could be something that’s happened in the past or will happen; where you will be forced to grow up in the sense of seeing the world as it is and get firm with assholes!

Dr Jordan Peterson has this gold shit to summarise this spiritual lesson you will be taking at some point in Life: ‘You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn to control it.’ Well, that’s male speech. In female speech, we just say: ‘you gotta grow up and be a bitchilante!’

Be a bitch only to those who deserve it. How would you protect yourself from monsters if you don’t have the strength to fight them at their own game, darling? If you’re harmless, weak as a fawn, if anything, the real monsters in the world are going to toy with your sanity: ‘I saw my “crazy” side once and decided I wouldn’t be involved with anyone that would take me out of my peace like that ever again.’

Be a bitchilante. That whole concept of ‘good, harmless, love and light, positivity-only’ bullshit was put out there not to really make you good but to weaken you against the truly monstrous ones. WAKE UP, BITCH!

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 4 of Pentacles

So? So what if you’re selective with your affection? Not everybody deserves your compassion. That’s for sure. There are many people in the world and you can’t be nice to all of them. One at point or another, you’re gonna be a villain in someone’s story—so what? Everybody else is the main character of their own Stories; that, you can’t control.

Be careful that you’re not falling victim to your own narcissism in wanting to be praised in everybody’s Story, yeah? So then, pertaining to your 11th House, weirdly enough, your wish fulfilment is in the form of a psychological liberation from your own idea of yourself in the minds of others. I sense that if you’re East Asian this is gonna resonate much harder and louder LOL

Anyway, I want to assure you that once you’ve graduated from your spiritual lessons, you will be met with unique, courageous, rebellious weirdos who will be just as clear as you are about what it truly means to be a good person in a world that’s often very bad. How good should a person be to truly be considered a good person?

‘If I offended you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears eating chips and working on my tan.’ – Fuckology

A L O N E🔻💚

ALL of you – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Success

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Lights Out; I’m Out to Find Myself

VIBE: To. X by Taeyeon

lost pieces (pertaining to 4th House) – Ace of Cups Rx

I’ve to preface this Pile by saying this the pile that gets a little violent…

You were originally such a positive, happy-go-lucky kid, but quite early on, this world gave you so much darkness. So many reasons to be sad. It’s not been a very kind life, to be honest. Defo many of you have tragical placements here—your 4th or 5th House could start or end in Scorpio; have Lilith/Pluto/Chiron/Saturn there or in the sign of Cancer/Pisces; or it could be that your Venus/Moon is imprisoned in the 8th or 12th House and harshly aspected, too...

If your childhood has been violent or mightily confusing, it’s a group thing, OK? You can think like that. It’s not your fault. Know that practically everybody who has these harsh placements has gone through very similar things as you. So you’re really not the only one who’s failing—whatever that means. You’ve been gaslit a lot into believing there’s something wrong with you, but it was your environment that was just filled with totally terrible Human beings. That much I’d like to assure you.

It wasn’t natural how you were abused psychologically and emotionally. The people around you drew a parallel to Cinderella’s stepsisters in the Disney classic. It’s ridiculous like that. I think you grew up terribly lonely and created comfort characters in your head to console your sorrows? It’s very likely that your comfort characters were in actuality a mirror fragment of your Soul Family’s existence locked in your memory bank.

growing pains (pertaining to 8th House) – XIV Temperance Rx

Life, unfortunately, isn’t a Disney movie. As a result of the psychological and emotional abuse you’ve endured in childhood, your friendships and relationships might’ve been quite turbulent, at times even violent. Juuust a small number of you could’ve dealt with being called a violent kid, or you could’ve struggled with anger management and have terrible tantrums. All of these have made human connections quite difficult to navigate.

It’s not like you want to be a nasty person, right? Many times, you couldn’t help the way you react/respond to what’s being said and unsaid because, somehow, there are many things that people do and say that trigger a trauma response in you. There’s a very difficult Mars thingy going on here. I think many of you resonating with this Pile have some difficult Mars (ruler of Scorpio) placements/aspects that affect the way you manifest human connections in your Life.

Speaking in terms of synastry, it could be that you’ve attracted a great deal of people whose Mars aspected badly in your natal chart—consequently triggering bad traumas and manifesting violent outbursts in your connections. Ultimately though, these negative experiences with other people could’ve enforced your belief about how unlovable you are, which, really, is a false belief…

reclamation (pertaining to 11th House) – 5 of Wands

It is a false Reality that you’re unlovable or unworthy of a healthy relationship. That bullshit was implanted in you through the creation of a harsh environment that caused you a great deal of rage. Of course, you’re accountable for how you behave towards other people, but your foundation was never quite healthy or peaceful or harmonious, so… How about we put it all behind us and focus on healing? After all, it’s not like the people you’ve had a beef with were completely innocent? XP

It's kinda selfish to think like that, but you can depend on your own discernment to distinguish who amongst the people you’ve hurt or had a beef with to apologise to. Remember: sometimes apologies only make you weaker and looking at the unique bullshit astrological placements you were born with… apologising to the wrong fucker would only get you gaslit even more! So, don’t. Don’t apologise for the distress you experienced under other people’s lack of support.

Burn that bridge and detach yourself from that old stinking world. With your sheer willpower, you have it in you to rebuild your own little world of love and peace. After all, those harsh placements you were born with, are you aware of just how much power they bestow you? These placements come with a lot of turbulences but once you graduate your first Saturn Return, they also give you a burst of power unlike any other!

Lights out. Not entertaining aenergies that seek to nip your power at the bud anymore. Burn, baby, burn strong! Burn the whole Tower and find yourself on new lands~!

A L O N E🔻💜

ALL of you – Gold Alchemist (Roger Bacon)

becoming ONE and whole – Priestess of Solitude

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

458 notes · View notes

athena-swords · 20 days

Text

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.

5M notes · View notes

athena-swords · 22 days

Note

Heyya 💗

Thank you for spamming 🎀

Heyyy I love your blog it had such a soothing spring vibe I loved it 💗💗🫂🤍

2 notes · View notes

athena-swords · 22 days

Text

🧿🤌🤌🫂

1K notes · View notes

athena-swords · 24 days

Text

inspired by boop day, reblog this post if its ok for people to send you random asks and interact on your posts with no judgement. i want to talk to people.

56K notes · View notes

athena-swords · 26 days

Text

April Horoscope 2024

Astrologically, April is a big month this year. Here are some predictions. This is a general read. Please take it as entertainment. Don’t stress it & Don’t get your hopes up for super positive life changing events.

Tip for ALL rising signs: Look back to 2017 April - May. This is the last time mercury went retro in aries. Those themes may repeat. & prominent people from your 2017 may desire contact.

Aries- Libra Risings

Aries ASC:

Mercury Retro April 1st:

You might have a difficult time expressing yourself at this time. Therefore, this month is not the best time to change your look or life direction. Although, you could be tempted to make drastic & impulsive changes. Your chart ruler is in your 12th, this can create inner turmoil. You may be trying to heal from past hurts. Having a conversation with someone from the past may be important. However, do not feel you need to reach out if you do not want to. And don’t hold your breath waiting for someone. Aries is independent energy. You might need to reorganize your plans, heal without the apology & move forward. It is easier said than done so take your time.

Venus in Aries April 5-29:

When venus enters our first house, we can feel more focus on your appearances/beauty. You could feel very beautiful. And/or you may desire to make changes to your appearance to enhance your beauty. Venus rules your first house and relationship house. Money & relationships can be on your mind like crazy this month.

What you should be cautious of is any impulsive urge. Watch out for making purchases or physical changes you could regret. Make sure you aren’t changing yourself for someone else. Generally during this time you could find yourself being more cooperative. But make sure it is YOUR choice to agree to any changes. With your 7th in 1st, it is possible for some that other people are trying to control/change you. However, if this applies you are likely already aware of these people.

Solar Eclipse April 8th:

The closer you have your rising or planets to 19 degrees in aries, the more likely you will see the huge changes. This is a fresh start in your life. The changes you take in the next 6 months, will drastically influence your character. For some, this is making significant changes to your appearance. For others, it is the life direction you are taking. Your mindset towards life in general could be changing. Since chiron is in your first house these changes offer opportunity to heal yourself. Chiron has been in your sign since 2019, it can bring struggles your physical appearance. And struggle with how you move in life. You could have experienced events that make you lack confidence in yourself. Or that have angered you and made you very vengeful or less kind to all people in general. It’s hard to say exactly because this is a general read. The eclipse is at a libra degree though. So to me, this suggests these changes are about physical aesthetics and the body. Over the next 6 months, you could better the relationship you have with your body & self. Since it’s aries, it likely has to do with movement/action.

Jupiter conjunct Uranus April 20:

This is a surprise event occurring in your 2nd house. Jupiter is expansion, prosperity, religion, law, foreign travels, education. Uranus is surprises, electricity, new unconventional ideas, individuality. 2nd house is our income, material possessions, our face, mouth, dietary habits.

This is a “surprise sudden” event or idea that is coming. So it is hard to predict but I’ll try anyways. In your 2nd this can manifest in many ways, here are examples:

Making more money.

Getting a new material possession could be an electronic. Could be having to purchase a new possession unexpectedly - phone, laptop or something may break.

May be able to get some procedure for the face. Invisalign, acne treatment, healing a scar.

Could be suddenly deciding to better your relationship with food. Becoming more educated on nutrients, what your body needs.

Taurus Rising:

Mercury Retro April 1.

This is in your 12th house. The 12th deals with what’s hidden, the subconscious, closure/endings, healing. With mercury being retro, you could have healing conversations. Possibly with people from the past. Don’t reach out to people who hurt you if you do not want to though. Not everybody heals that way and it could bring more frustration. Do what you feel is best.

There may be random inconveniences as well - power outage, wifi not working, plans cancelled last minute.

Ruler of this retrograde is in your 11th. This could be people from the past reaching out. Not every retrograde is important in our lives though. So you may just cruise through this month without noticing anything especially since it’s in your “hidden” house.

Venus in aries April 5-29:

Enters your 12th house. This is your chart ruler, so april may be the month you go into hiding. That’s a dramatic way to put it. You won’t actually be hiding but you may want to isolate from people. For some, this could be due to ending a relationship this month. Relationship isn’t limited to lovers, could be a friend, business partner or activity you used to enjoy doing.

Solar Eclipse April 8th:

Over the next 6th months, you could be confronting 12th house topics. Examples: Becoming more independent through ending codependent connections. Could be quitting a bad habit or addiction. If you have planets in aries close to 19 degrees, the more likely this affects you. How depends on the planets in your chart it touches.

Jupiter conjunct Uranus April 20:

This is a surprise event occurring in your 1st house. Jupiter is expansion, prosperity, religion, law, foreign travels, education. Uranus is surprises, electricity, new unconventional ideas, individuality. 1st House deals with body, expression, life outlook/direction/approach.

This is a “surprise sudden” event or idea that is coming so it is hard to predict. Possible examples:

You may change something about your appearance. Your life outlook may change. You may plan a trip. You may become interested in a new topic that will change your life direction.

Gemini Rising

Mercury Retro April 1:

As a gemini rising, you’re generally restless. You’re used to being in constant motion - scanning the room, hand & body movement, fast thinking, fast wit. GENERALLY, gemini risings can have an anxious personality, other times you get a extroverted charming personality.

When mercury, your chart ruler, goes retro, you’re generally pushed back a bit. This month it’s happening in your 11th house. The push back from the universe is asking you to reanalyze your social circles, social awareness, goals/wishes for the future. The ruler of this is retrograde is in your 10th. In May, you could have been taking action in your career. There could have been some hostility at work. You could have been seen as being aggressive, brave, independent, selfish. It may be these changes in your reputation or at work that have you reconsidering your friend group or long term goals. This is just a general example though. Sometimes mercury retro means nothing to us in our real lives. Especially since it is your chart ruler. You may be naturally used to the quick thinking, replanning and analysis this cycle causes.

For some, it may be someone from the past, possibly an old friend or old work opportunities, reaching out to you. Due to some reflection, it could even be you reaching out to people from the past. Don’t feel pressured to do so.

There may be random inconveniences as well - power outage, wifi not working, plans cancelled last minute.

Venus in Aries April 5-29:

You could be forming harmonious friendships through a new activity. You could be enjoying present friendships more than usual. A specific few could find a new crush through a friend or social event. While you are likely having fun, you could feel a bit detached from the connections you’re forming. If you or someone else did reach back out, there is a possibility of forgiveness. Chiron has been in aries since 2019, it’s likely brought hostility to some friendships. You could heal those now by getting closure. But remember not everyone needs a conversation for closure. So don’t let this post make you think you need to reach out to people who have upset/hurt you in the past.

Solar Eclipse April 8:

Over the next 6 months, you could be finding new friendships. These friendships could be very healing. It is also possible you are finding chances to achieve goals you’ve been working towards for a long time. Some may feel pulled towards doing humanitarian work.

Jupiter Conjunct Uranus April 20:

This is a surprise event occurring in your 12th house. Jupiter is expansion, prosperity, religion, law, foreign travels, education. Uranus is surprises, electricity, new unconventional ideas, individuality. The 12th house is what’s hidden, sub conscious, endings/closure, isolation.

Since it’s a sudden surprise event or idea coming and it’s related to the house of what’s hidden, it’s difficult for me to predict what this is. I’ll try anyways, so examples:

You could travel far from home. It may be healing. Inspire creativity.

There could be an end to relationships, romantic, business or friendship. This could lead to a period of isolation.

Some one could relapse but that’s so fucking negative omg seriously hope it isn’t this one

Cancer Rising

Mercury Retro April 1

This month you expect miscommunications at work. You may even rethink/restructure your long term career plans. You could have misinformed gossip going around about your reputation. The ruler of this retrograde is in your 9th. You may be picking or reconsidering a university, program/major, or whether you even want to enrol. For some this could be you or someone from the past reaching out. However, since this is your 10th it is unlikely unless natal indicates it.

Venus in aries April 5-29:

Venus allows you the chance to appear charming, friendly and cooperative. You could put the gossip around your reputation to a rest. You are more likely to seen in a positive light at work. You could be more social this month than usual.

Solar Eclipse April 8th:

Over the next 6 months you are getting a new start in your 10th house. You could start a new job or role. You could create a new reputation yourself.

Jupiter Conjunct Uranus April 20:

This is a surprise event occurring in your 11th house. Jupiter is expansion, prosperity, religion, law, foreign travels, education. Uranus is surprises, electricity, new unconventional ideas, individuality.

The 11th house is our social circle, technology, goals/wishes for the future. It’s hard to predict this since it is a “surprise sudden” event or idea.

But here are some possible examples:

New friend or friend group. New electronic. New knowledge that raises your humanitarian concerns/social awareness.

Leo Risings:

Mercury Retro April 1:

This month there could be some miscommunication in regard to travel or education. It could be related to money or resources. For example, your university program requires you to do a certain amount of volunteer hours to graduate. The paperwork showing you did it goes missing or isn’t filed correctly.

Retrogrades arent aren’t always notable events in our lives though. So you may be in the clear but it’s a good idea to double check your emails, assignments and any forms you’re submitting.

You could be considering reaching out to someone from the past. But generally speaking since it is in your 9th it isn’t likely. However, we don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives so someone you haven’t talked to in a while may want to reach out to you.

Venus in Aries April 5-29:

In your 9th house, this indicates education or foreign people or places appeal more now than before. Someone or some place you didn’t find attractive before could be suddenly attractive. You’re more open minded this month. You could have a trip on your mind that you want to plan. You could be celebrating a graduation. You could have crushes on foreign people or people in the education space. Or want to take a trip with your partner.

Solar Eclipse April 8:

Over the next 6 months, you are getting a fresh start in your 9th house. New luck, possibly new trips planned, newness around education. Some may change or start a new program. Some may be finishing an educational program. These trips or fresh starts could bring healing and closure.

Jupiter conjunct Uranus April 20:

This is a surprise event occurring in your 10th house. Jupiter is expansion, prosperity, religion, law, foreign travels, education. Uranus is surprises, electricity, new unconventional ideas, individuality. 10th house is your career, reputation, father, authority figures.

It’s hard to predict what it could be since it’s a sudden surprise event. But I will try anyways. Examples:

Starting a new career or new job role.

Receiving status in your reputation or career.

Making your father proud. Impressing an authority figure.

Combining traditional goals and values with new rebellious or revolutionary goals and values.

Virgo Rising:

Mercury Retro April 1:

This is your chart ruler, & as a virgo rising you’re more used to this analytical and cautious type of thinking. You don’t need to be warned to double check and pay attention to the small details. Your mind is already adjusted to the mercurial cycle. This time the retro is happening in your 8th house. Look back to 2017, for themes or ideas of how this manifested in your life.

There could be miscommunications or delays regarding other people’s resources. Or in regard to taboo topics like sex, death, occult.

The ruler of this retro is in your 7th, so this could be related to your relationships (romantic, platonic or business). Someone may reach out to you or you could reach out to someone else.

Sometimes retrogrades aren’t notable events in our lives. So you may see no delays or notable events in your life.

Venus in Aries April 5-29:

If you are in an intimate relationship, it can be very intense in april. This could be do to passion or you could be on the verge of an ending. It depends on your personal chart. You can probably already tell where it’s going.

Some may receive help through other people’s resources/unearned money or possessions.

Solar Eclipse April 8

Over the next 6 months, you could be going through a death and rebirth. This could be related to a relationship ending or going to the next level (marriage, moving in). This transformation could be related to taboo topics such as sex or death. You could be going through a death and rebirth process.

Jupiter Conjunct Uranus April 20:

This is a surprise event occurring in your 9th house. Jupiter is expansion, prosperity, religion, law, foreign travels, education. Uranus is surprises, electricity, new unconventional ideas, individuality. 9th house is your higher education, beliefs, travel, law and luck.

It’s hard to predict because it’s a sudden surprise event. But i’ll try anyways. Example:

You could be going on a trip.

You could be making a sudden choice in regard to university or education.

You could become more knowledgeable on culture or foreign affairs.

Libra Rising:

Mercury Retro April 1

Out of all the signs, you’re most likely to get a message from a past person. Could be an ex or an ex friend. Remember you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to. Not everyone needs closure that way. With chiron in your 7th since 2019, your relationships have been tough. People may have betrayed you or really hurt you. Not everyone deserves your time or energy again. But if you want a conversation for closure or want to forgive, this month may be your time.

Venus in Aries April 5-29

You could be more interested in relationships this month. If you dating, you could be getting extra attention from your partner. If you aren’t, you could develop a crush or long for a more stable serious connection. This is your chart ruler so you could feel more bold. You could take action in regard to relationships.

Solar Eclipse April 8:

Over the next 6 months, there is a fresh start to your relationships. This can be very healing. It’ll be different for everyone. Some may gain independence through a breakup. Some may start a relationship. Some could end friendships. Some could find new friendships. Relationships are a big focus this month and this year in general.

Jupiter conjunct Uranus April 20:

You could receive help through other people’s resources. This can be an inheritance, a parent giving you money for something or buying you something. It could be help from the government like unemployment or related to taxes. You could take out a loan. You could go into debt. It is likely positive for most though since jupiter is involved.

172 notes · View notes

athena-swords · 1 month

Text

This Starving Heart

#4. Accidents - II

Ishan had enjoyed teasing shubhman thoroughly that day.

He made jokes on lessons for proper usage of towels and dangers accidental flashing the entire day.

Considering the ungodly amount of shorty jokes Ishan had been on the receiving end of, it was well deserved in his opinion.

At some point when they were in the dressing room after practice and shubhman had just come out of the shower, he had grabbed the waistband of his trousers, tugged and snapped them.

The reaction was priceless.

He had shrieked, jumped and dropped the bundle of clothes in his hands while trying to grab his trousers.

Ishan's own laughter was joined by everyone around them.

But then his teammates joined in on the teasing and that's when everything went to shit.

Suddenly...... It didn't feel that good anymore.

Especially when he took a good look at shubhman's face, who was trying his best to plaster a fake smile on and go along with his teammates jokes.

To ishan, He looked like he was one second away from bursting into tears.

Guilt churned in his gut.

Maybe he went too far?

The way shubhman was clutching his bag to his chest and looking down at the floor, not meeting anyone's eyes and desperately plastering a fake smile on his face gave him the answer.

During dinner he barely ate a few spoons of pasta before bolting for their room.

So ishan shoved down his own food quickly and ran after him.

He entered their room and saw him curled up inside a blanket on his side of the bed.

"Hey.

Are you sleeping?"

Dumb question.

He poked the bundle of blankets in front of him.

"Heeeey... Wake up now, c'mon."

He kept poking until the bundle finally stirred.

There was some shuffling and finally his roommate's head popped out from under the blanket.

His face was clear, but his eyes were bloodshot and glassy.

Ishan instantly felt his guilt increase ten fold.

"What do you want?"

He sounded tired.

"I'm Sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry....for the morning and...you know..."

"It's okay."

He cut him off and pulled the blanket back over his head.

Ishan had a feeling that he was absolutely not okay.

So he continued.

"I didn't think they would join in like that. I mean it.... I'm sorry....so don't cry now plea- "

Shubhman threw the blanket away and sat up.

"Who's CRYING!?

I'M NOT CRYING! Do I look like a sniveling child to you?"

Oops. He hit a nerve.

"You are a child in a giraffe's body but that's besides the point.

Will you stop crying now or do you want a pacifier?"

Ishan mentally slapped himself.

Sometimes, his brain and mouth forget to coordinate.

"Paci-

Just PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

Shubhman got up, grabbed his phone and pillow, and started walking out of the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere else to get some fucking sleep."

He didn't even look back.

A sudden flare of anger bubbled up inside him at the thought of his roommate going to someone else's room and sleeping beside them.

He grabbed shubhman by the collar of his T-shirt and yanked him away From the door.

"what the f- "

Ishan ignored his non-stop stream of curses and dragged him back to their bed.

"Just sleep. There's no need to disturb others. I won't bother you anymore so.... You don't need to leave."

With that, he made a run for the bathroom to avoid confronting the odd mixture of emotions churning in his heart and messing with his brain, leaving his bewildered roommate alone.

When ishan finally came out after getting over a random bout of existential crisis, while dealing with his mind 's odd fixation on his roommate (that even he couldn't understand), he genuinely hadn't expected Shubhman to stay.

But there he was.

Instead of sleeping on his side of the bed, he was lying in an odd sort of position with his head on Ishan's pillow and the rest of his body lying diagonally on the bed's center.

Ishan walked closer to their bed, stood at the edge and allowed his eyes to wander.

The peaceful expression, the way his left cheek was pressed against the pillow, the shadows formed on his cheek bones by his lashes, the way his eyebrows were just a little bit scrunched and the small pout on his lips... His eyes took in every detail.

He really didn't have the heart to wake him up and tell him to move, so he gently lifted his legs and moved them forward so Shubhman was lying on Ishan's side completely.

He took one last look, softy ran his fingers through his hair once, and then turned off the lights.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Shubhman's brand of weirdness continued throughout the week.

Because now ishan consciously observed him, he could clearly notice the sudden changes in his behavior. For example,

Shubhman never changed clothes in their room again after that little incident.

He always got dressed in the bathroom before coming out.

He was sleep deprived.

During breaks between their practice and bus rides, he was either dozing off on someone's shoulder or sleeping on someone's lap.

He stared.

A lot.

Ishan didn't realize it at first.

He caught him looking a few times but dismissed it.

Until one day when he caught him staring, again, and decided to hold his gaze.

Shubhman looked away instantly.

Since then, he caught him staring multiple times.

Ishan never called him out on it, and didn't try to start a staring contest with him either.

That sensation of being watched should bother him. It certainly does when others do it.

Strangely enough, When it was that pair of eyes; eyes which reminded him of warm dusky evenings, he didn't mind.

By the end of the week, an uncomfortable awkwardness had settled between him and shubhman.

They both felt it, but neither of them wanted to address it.

The odd silence, the lack of fights, the avoidance, the staring.....

It left Ishan frustrated and confused.

At some point somewhere, something had fundamentally changed between them.

They both were aware of it, but didn't breech the topic.

At that time, they both were so lost in trying to sort their own tangled emotions that they forgot how observant their teammates actually were.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Bit of a boring chapter but I have some action planned for the next ones so

ฅ'ω'ฅ

Do tell me if you want me to add/remove you from the tags.

Tagging :

@hum-suffer @bimesskaira @ishuess @fortunatelycrazyyouth @ispeakmorelanguagesthanyou @athena-swords @happypopcornprincess @deeee60 @melancholicmonody @roseromeroredranger

@miyuki7

@fangirlingintellectual

@books-butterbeer

@nothingmuch08

#indian cricket team #desiblr #ishman #shubhman gill #ishan kishan #shubman x ishan

30 notes · View notes

athena-swords · 1 month

Text

💝Valentine & White Day Love Transmission ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

In Japan and Korea, Valentine's is when femmes give gifts to hommes; and exactly a month after that, on March 14th, the hommes return that Love with white (preferably) gifts that are expected to be at least three times the value/price of whatever gifts they’d received from the femmes😏

Traditionally it’s kinda like that. Hmmm… isn’t it obvious the celebration has never had quite any meaning in a country such as Japan and that the festivity is nothing more than a heavily-commercialised youth-tradition focused on the pursuit of shallow material desires?🤮

But…I guess it’s OK; because it’s cute anyway🥴

Within the context of this reading, the Valentine and White Day Love Transmission imparts the perfect synchrony of the Love shared by the Divines Feminine and Masculine. It is when affection is given and returned in Love and everything becomes beautiful and worth living for~💝

SONG: Space Orphans by Aoba Ichiko

MOVIE: Peter Pan (2003)

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Don’t give up just yet; I’m on my way!

8 of Cups Rx, 4 of Pentacles Rx, Knight of Cups Rx

Darling, are you on the precipice of giving up on me?! Do NOT settle for someone—ANYONE—who’s NOT me! OMG, babe! I’m coming! Divine Timing is just being a bitch but I’m on my way to you!🦎Well, the thing is…we both have this annoying thing called a spiritual transformation… Until that’s happened—and nearly completely—we can’t be together just yet. But wait, I promise you it’s all worth it in the end🎁

I mean, why wouldn’t you wait for someone like me? I’m romantic; kind and sweet; I AM RICH; and I will always be there to protect you—I intend to always be your confidant and best friend🥰I will never betray you in any way. I’m your best friend who will skip right next to you on our way to beat up a bitch; figuratively, babe—I’m not really the type of person who gets violent LOL

What I do mean is, I want to give you a Life in which you cease to worry about small things. I want it to be that when you’re with me you no longer worry about a lack of means, a lack of warmth, or a lack of security. You’re somebody who deserves to be loved and to be very happy; and I want to give it all to you. And that’s why it’s important for me to become the best version of myself first😝

I’ve got to admit I’ve not always been the nicest, goodest person to have walked on Earth. I’m changing my ways, you know. I’m growing up; I’m developing; I’ve now been awakened and I’m still working on me, so that when I finally meet you, I will not disappoint you. Because I will never want to be a reason you stopped believing in the good of people😤I intend to be the complete opposite of that.

Fall in love with me, my dear. Fall in love with Life again when you meet me. Life is an adventure and finding me has got to be the greatest story ever told. I’ll tell you all of my crazyass stories when we meet. And I’m longing to hear you talk of your losses and triumphs. We’ll both gaze at the stars and wonder how they aligned to have us meet in this lifetime. I will be so grateful.

You know, generally speaking, I’m somewhat of an extrovert and I socialise well and I think quite positively about people. Maybe you will worry that I’m a playa of sort but right now, let me promise you this one thing: I’M NOT! I’m friendly, my love, but it doesn’t mean I wanna fuck somebody who’s not you. I dunno, I kinda have the handsome face of a smooth operator but on the inside, I’m really NOT!😩I’m really quite romantic and I believe in true love.

And honestly, at this point in my Life, I know you’re out there being all destined for me. You’re all I want. I’m on my way. So don’t you settle for any low-quality slob. Get ready, baby~ KNOCK KNOCK~🪄🚪

A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻❤️

Priestesses of Purity & Divination

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Everybody finds Love in the end; you included~

Ace of Cups Rx, 7 of Cups Rx, 4 of Wands

My Dear, I know Life has not treated you too kindly and your heart’s been broken too many times. It’s been pretty much like that for me, too! I’ve lived a very lonesome existence, wondering where my people are. Wondering if I’ll ever find Love in this lifetime. I know now that those whose hearts are tender find it harder to truly connect with someone. We’re not BROKEN! No, we’re not! The ‘problem’ with us is that we crave soul-deep connections~ And damn, that’s rare, indeed🍀

You know what I’m doing right now? I’m single as a pringle. I’m not opening my heart to anybody. My colleagues all think I’m crazy, offbeat, and even difficult, just because I ain’t settling. Tch, I’m the only one noticing all of their subpar relationships, and some of them are not even the slightest bit happy with the partnership they’ve got. I don’t want that. For fuck’s sake I DON’T want that, ever! I’ve always had this strange, inexplicable feeling, that people are supposed to marry whom they love.

I want LOVE. I crave that shit so bad I dunno what I’m gonna do with myself🙈

One thing I know for sure though: if I’m not with you, you who are just like me, everything in the world is pointless. There is only calm in my world when I’m thinking of you. I don’t even know who you are; but I get optimistic every time I indulge in thoughts of finding you. I… fantasise a lot…?🌈Do you ever think about me? Does your heart bloom with a peculiar kind of softness when you touch upon my consciousness?💫

I am out here in this Star System. Dream of me. Want me more. And believe that we can manifest each other through resonance. We are so much closer than you fear us to be, my Dear. You have to believe in me. The Stars have begun to align and Earth’s temperature is nearing just right🍵Our time is here :D When dreams become Reality and all that’s ever been sad turn to glory, what would you do?

I know what you’re gonna do: you’re going to be married to me😝We’re going to start a new chapter of our lives together and be very happy and abundant. I’m gonna help you prove everybody who’s ever hurt you, gaslit you into believing that you’re hard to love very, very wrong😒All of that gas, when I light the match, is gonna burn their entire house down!🔥

OK, I’m a bit crazy, but anyway—

You do know that good people always find Love in the end, right? That’s just how it always is in fairy tales. You know fairy tales are more real than any of Hollywood’s propaganda, right?🐵Right??🙊I love you. I have loved you for what feels like an eternity. Return to me now. Come home to me, my Love. I am You; you are Me. We’re going to turn everything back to balance; we’re gonna create Heaven on Earth; a harmonious Life of you and me; so have faith in us~🎎

A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻💙

Priestesses of Integrity & Solitude

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – You are someone’s Dream Come True; you ever thought about that??

9 of Cups, 2 of Cups, King of Cups

You, are someone’s Wish Fulfilment; you ever thought about that? No, of course not; you only thought about yourself and how lacking you are as a person blablabla😡Don’t you know there’s a little someone walking this Earth who’d be SO glad to have you in their Life? Yup, that someone is ME😏You are a treasure of a gal/boy and if you’ve been surrounded by fools who can’t see that, it’s because you’re meant to travel the world and meet me~!

Have a change of scenery; you aren’t meant to thrive and live and die on the land you were born. When you cross borders and seas and realms, you’ll meet people of other cultures and points of view who are going to be more appreciative of the good you’ve been mocked(?) for🥰I promise you, babe~ You are where you are (or were) only because it was part of your Soul’s contract to learn about contrasts.

When all’s said and done, you’re going to be THE most interesting person anybody could listen to!🍿I, for one, could listen to you aaalll week long if you ever want to HAHAHA

My heart right now is like half-full, babe; I’m still waiting for you to appear in my Life. You probably won’t like hearing this because you’re independent, and you’re strong, and rebellious, but… I want you to be mine!🌹I don’t mean that I wish to suffocate you, no, it’s not like that at all… What I mean is, I wish to be the only one who could make you happy, for that would make me feel special🌞

I know I’m silly, I’m sorry~🥰I want to bring stability and certainty into your Life; that much I can say with clarity, for surely, you and I, we’re going to be pouring into each other’s Cups. We’re gonna be the kind of couple who can read each other’s minds and burst out laughing when we see something only we find funny without even exchanging words😂All of that, because of shared empathy~

Honestly, I couldn't care less for all the treasures in the world; I only want you around. Maybe that makes me a romanticist? Hm, that word doesn’t quite encompass all the feelings I have for you. All the things I wish to share with you. All that I’d do for you. What I know is that this is no mere romance; I LOVE you, you know? It goes so much deeper than that🌊

I’m mature, nurturing and caring. Find me, my Love. I’ll nurse you back to health—spiritually and everythingally; I’ll be the reason your faith in Humanity is restored. Actually, it doesn’t even matter; I just want you to trust in me, see yourself through my eyes, see how wonderful of a being you are. I want you to trust in yourself. You’re so fucking special. You’re MY very special kind of Wish Fulfilment☃️

A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻💗

Priestesses of Love & Healing

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

293 notes · View notes

athena-swords · 2 months

Text

This Starving Heart

# 3. Accidents - I

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

“How did you get hit?”

“Hmm?”

“During practice…how did you get hit?”

Ishan tried to keep his tone even and unbothered.

The opposite of what he was feeling inside.

Shubhman had buried himself in his blanket roll and was scrolling through his phone while half asleep.

Something was…. off about him.

Ishan couldn't recall anything specific which made him think that, but he could pinpoint some moments where he just knew.

For example, right now, the sudden panic in his sleepy eyes at a simple question.

“I…”

Apparently There was no snarky or sarcastic reply waiting to pop out.

Ishan paused the running episode on his tab and turned to fully Face his roommate.

Something is off.

“I got distracted.”

And then he buries his head inside the blanket roll before Ishan can form a Retort.

So Ishan just snorts and turns back to his tab and resumes the episode.

Ten minutes later He realizes he's losing the plot because he can't focus.

Not when his mind keeps repeating and rewinding every single interaction he's had with Shubman in the past 24 hours.

He's been like this since the morning, he realizes.

Closed off, dazed, jittery, ‘distracted’...as the guy called it.

But… .why?

The pending episode doesn't hold his attention again that night.

When he finally puts his tab away and closes his eyes, he dreams of silly smiles and flighty eyes.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The Next day, after their morning practice ends, they all head straight to the dining hall for breakfast.

Except Shubhman , who insists on taking a shower first and runs back to their room.

They all finish their breakfast and he grabs a plate before heading to his room.

His roommate hasn't contributed to raising his blood pressure in the past 24 hours, and Ishan feels like that's a feat he should personally reward him for.

Except when he reaches his room and opens the door-

Shubhman is there.

Shubhman is covered in glistening drops of water, wearing nothing but a loosely tied towel around his waist and blow-drying his hair.

Ishan allows himself two full seconds to just stare at his naked back.

Then he fully enters the room and the door shuts itself behind him.

Shubhman visibly flinches and turns.

“Your hair and makeup maintenance was taking too much time, so I got your breakfast.”

But his eyes never drift towards the plate. Instead he looks at Ishan, then at the floor, then again at Ishan, then at the wall towards his right.

After a minute of awkwardly making his eyes dance around, he simply says,

“Um… can you…can you get out please?”

. . . .

Ishan probably would have thrown the plate at him if not for the ‘please’ added in the end.

“Excuse me… What?”

He keeps the plate on the bed before his initial instinct to hurl it takes over.

“I'm changing…so, get out!”

He's Louder this time, but it just sounds whiny to Ishan.

He grits his teeth.

“I…brought. You. YOUR BREAKFAST! and you're telling me to get out!?”

He probably shouldn't shout like this, but at the moment, he can't be bothered to give a damn.

“I didn't mean it like that!

Ugh�� I'm changing…why can't you just get out for two minutes!?”

“Why should I get out!?

You change clothes everyday, what's the big deal anyway?”

“I Want some PRIVACY FOR GOD'S SAKE!

GET OUT ALREADY!”

Shubhman almost screams the Last part.

Privacy? What privacy? They change clothes in front of each other all the time.

Ishan has no idea why it's suddenly a big deal.

But before he can convey what he feels (mixed with some profanities), the loosely tied knot of the towel around Shubhman's waist comes undone.

He squeaks and tries to grab the falling corners with one hand while trying not to drop the blow dryer he was holding in his other hand.

The sight of his roommate awkwardly trying to hold the blow dryer while trying to hold the towel together is……hilarious.

So hilarious that it instantly makes him forget how pissed he was two seconds ago.

Shubhman has turned a hilarious shade of red and is desperately trying to tie the towel back together while balancing the dryer.

Ishan can't help but give into the laugh that's building up in his throat.

His Roommate is trying to glare at him but it fails as his face and ears are flushed while he's hunched over trying to keep himself covered.

He finally stops and takes pity on the poor guy who looks close to tears after being laughed at.

He walks towards him and Shubhman starts backing away.

An odd, thrilling sensation runs through him when he sees the usually smug guy completely embarrassed and backed into a corner for once.

That just tempts him into bullying the guy even more.

His chain of thoughts might have shown themselves in his expressions as Shubhman panics.

“Wait... Ishan? Ju- just Wait a second…I- .…….. ISHAN... STOP!?”

Ishan doesn't stop.

He takes slow steps and doesn't stop until there's barely a foot's distance between them.

He takes the dryer first, turns off the switch and places it on their bedside table.

Then, He grabs the towel.

“Let go, Shubhman.”

He doesn't.

Instead, he holds on tighter, screws his eyes shut and shakes his head in a ‘no’.

Ishan gives the towel a tug once more and then uses his full strength to simply snatch it.

Shubhman flinches and almost curls into himself while trying to grab it again.

“Stay still for a second, Idiot.”

Ishan holds both ends, brings them together and ties them into a proper knot which won't fall open in two minutes.

He looks up and just….stares.

Lowered lashes shyly look at him and instantly turn away. There's a light flush on his cheeks that goes all the way down to his neck.

His ears are bright red.

What a pretty sight.

Ishan steps back.

“Finish your breakfast quickly and come downstairs.”

He turns around and walks out.

“Oh and- "

He takes one last look at the flustered guy,

“learn how to tie a knot please. You don't want this to happen in the dressing room.”

The way his face reddens kind of boosts Ishan's mood for the rest of the day.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Gods I took Wayy too much time to post this... Will try to update regularly from now on.

(key word - try)

Also, the timeline is a bit off (because I'm dumb) but this is just ishan's pov in between the week that shubhi mellows out. It will continue for the next few chapters now.

Please gimme feedback /comments they serve as duel for writing. ฅ'ω'ฅ

Tagging : @hum-suffer @bimesskaira @ishuess @fortunatelycrazyyouth @ispeakmorelanguagesthanyou @athena-swords @happypopcornprincess @deeee60 @melancholicmonody @roseromeroredranger @books-butterbeer @imjellyjenny

Also Do tell me if y'all want me to add or remove you from the taglist ❣️

29 notes · View notes