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reading the iliad is crazy bc it just wildly flip flops between divine sitcom, the horrors of war, the most beautiful description you've ever read and a list of names that could've been 20 items shorter but absolutely should not be

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achilles’ spirit lives on in the middle school boys that yell at people in gym class for not going hard enough <3

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TW: blood

He was smiling at the end.

pride prompt day 6 (patroclus' death day 😔) - healing

based on that vase where Achilles tends to Patroclus

[ id: A diagonal block of warm light from top right of the art make visible two figures. The yellow-haired figure in the shadow is wearing somewhat ancient greek armour. Blood is splattered all over his body. He is holding a bloodied spear. An arrow pierced through his ankle. Yet he looks at the translucent figure who looks back, both of them smiling. The person closer to the right has dark skin and hair which is embellished by beads and cuffs. His bandaged arm seems about to clasp onto the blond person's hand on the spear, or to shove it away.]

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the iliad (book 1 - 19) summarised:

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Because I got curious, here I am back with one of these lists! Obviously, based on surviving (and what I could remember and access) works. This time, Paris' death:

Little Iliad - on the battlefield, by Philoctetes. (Menelaos succeeds/attempts some sort of mutilation, corpse won back.)

Lykophron, Alexandra - Wounded, Oinone version. (Korythos exists, but apparently not killed by Paris.)

Konon, Narrations - Wounded, Oinone version (Korythos exists, killed by Paris.)

Parthenius, Love Romances (and to some degree also Hellanikos and Cephalon/Hegesianax) - Oinone version, wounded not killed on the battlefield. (In the first one(#4), no mention of Korythos and he seems to have no bearing on Oinone's actions; in the second(#34), he exists and Paris kills him, no connection made to Oinone's reaction to this.)

Bibliotheke, Epitome - too brief to tell anything other than that Philoctetes kills him. (Not Oinone version?)

Hyginus' Fabulae - Too brief to say, Philoctetes kills Paris. Presumably battlefield death and no Oinone (no mention of her in the whole of the Fabulae).

Quintus of Smyrna's Posthomerica - No battlefield death, wounded by Philoctetes; Oinone version. (No Korythos.) Philoctetes' first arrow barely scratches his wrist; the second hits "between flank and groin". One of these arrows, presumably the first, has the hydra gall poison. (Philoctetes just barely avoids Paris' arrow.)

Dictys Cretensis, Malalas' Chronographia, Tzetzes' Iliaka (other late Byzantine works, based on Dictys) - Battlefield death; Philoctetes shoots Paris in the left hand, then the right eye (this somehow does not kill him), then both feet as he attempts to flee, and lastly hits him in some unspecified way that kills him. (Paris is made to miss Philoctetes entirely, no stated risk of a near-miss.)

Dares Phrygius, Anticlides (of Athens?) - Ajax kills Paris; battlefield death. (In Dares specifically, Paris kills Ajax, though Ajax dies only belatedly of his wound, as it's a question of Paris wounding Ajax, Ajax going after Paris and killing him, and upon returning to camp and the arrow being taken out, dies.)

Ptolemaeus Chennus - Menelaos kills Paris.

These are all arranged in vague chronological fashion. (I am only including Ptolemaus Chennus/Ptolemy Hephaistion for completeness' sake, but know this source is, ahem, not worth the same as the others.)

So what we've got is, as far as we can tell, Paris dying on the battlefield is the oldest version. But the Oinone version is clearly pretty old too - it must certainly be at least somewhat older than Lykophron's Alexandra. The earliest possible mention we have of Oinone killing herself (but this does not guarantee the Oinone version of Paris' death), is a fragment of Bacchylides. It's just also too fragmentary to be entirely sure it's about Oinone. The Oinone version can come with Korythos or not, and can, in the case of if he does exist, come with his explicit death, or not. Korythos is sometimes the son of Helen and Paris instead, which makes sense given that Korythos is clearly not necessary for Oinone's initial refusal to save Paris. If Oinone is mentioned at all, her killing herself for love of Paris is (unfortunately) unavoidable. Tzetzes' Iliaka, in his Posthomerica specifically, though he goes with Dictys' version of Paris' death, still mentions that Oinone kills herself. (He also counts up the various methods that she uses that authors have given her.)

There's something kind of interesting happening between Quintus and Dictys. Both of these specify how many arrows and where they hit. In Quintus, too, Paris misses only because Philoctetes is quick enough (he has to actively avoid the arrow) but this becomes a complete miss with no specified need for Philoctetes to dodge in Dictys. Plus, Philoctetes' dinky "scratched Paris on the wrist" first "hit" in Quintus becomes the unequivocal hit in the hand in Dictys. Any version based on Dictys basically repeat this bit in full and exactly as it happens in Dictys, too.

The absolute neatest little detail is the random change in Dares, where Paris and Ajax have a mutual double-kill. Tzetzes in his commentary on Lycophron is the one to mention that Anticlides, no further detail, says Paris kills Ajax. Wikipedia only gave me one Anticlides, who lived somewhere close past Alexander the Great, so despite the appearance in Dares it might be an older version than it first appears.

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Not to sound like a boomer but The Olympic Games really aren’t what they used to be. Where’s the nudity? Where is the chariot racing? Where is the oxen sacrifice in the name of Zeus?

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You know, most "fans" of Penelope usually aren't fans of Odysseus in solidarity with her. Have fun with your toxic unfaithful ship I guess. ✌

ANON!!! NO!!! ANON! YOU'RE TRYING TO GIRLBOSS HER AND NOT WANTING TO UNDERSTAND WHO AND WHAT PENELOPE WANTS! ANON! ANON! PENELOPE WANTS ODYSSEUS BACK IN HER ARMS!!! SHE MISSES AND LOVES HIM!!! ANON! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS HAD ANY CHOICE WITH THE GODDESSES!!! AS THOUGH HE DID NOT WEEP WHILE WITH THE GODDESSES! AS THOUGH HE DID NOT THINK OF PENELOPE EVERY DAY!!! ANON!!! EVEN THEN, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER HE EVEN HAD A CHOICE IN THE FIRST PLACE, PENELOPE CAN MAKE HER OWN CHOICES!!! AND HER CHOICE IS ODYSSEUS!!! ALWAYS WILL BE!!! JUST AS SHE IS HIS CHOICE ALWAYS!!! ANON! NO! THEY ARE LIKEMINDED AND BASICALLY SOULMATES!!! GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR ASS! ANON!!!

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Crying, screaming, throwing up 😭

(From 'Young Conquerors' by Christopher Cosmos)

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Crying, screaming, throwing up 😭

(From 'Young Conquerors' by Christopher Cosmos)

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are the achilles fans going to be pissed if i write him like a spoiled brat. yes or no

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how does the odyssey begin? 

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jumping on the bandwagon with an ancient greek miku

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That scene still makes me laugh so hard

…The son of Peleus was furious, and his heart within his shaggy breast was divided whether to draw his sword, push the others aside, and kill the son of Atreus, or to restrain himself and check his anger. While he was thus in two minds, and was drawing his mighty sword from its scabbard, Minerva came down from heaven (for Juno had sent her in the love she bore to them both), and seized the son of Peleus by his yellow hair, visible to him alone, for of the others no man could see her. Achilles turned in amaze, and by the fire that flashed from her eyes at once knew that she was Minerva. "Why are you here," said he, "daughter of aegis-bearing Jove? To see the pride of Agamemnon, son of Atreus? Let me tell you- and it shall surely be- he shall pay for this insolence with his life."

And Minerva said, "I come from heaven, if you will hear me, to bid you stay your anger. Juno has sent me, who cares for both of you alike. Cease, then, this brawling, and do not draw your sword; rail at him if you will, and your railing will not be vain, for I tell you- and it shall surely be- that you shall hereafter receive gifts three times as splendid by reason of this present insult. Hold, therefore, and obey."..

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Alexander the Great Symposium #9

As promised, here's the program. We have not one, but 2 keynotes, plus the Fun with Pointy Objects on Friday evening. :-)

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I keep thinking of potential for "good dad Zeus" stories but for Olympians when they're younger/coming into power and they're making me very, very sentimental.

You're young Artemis and you're your father's daughter. You come to him first when you're upset or hurt because, intimidating as he is to many, he always holds you close, laughs fondly, and makes your distress easier to bear. You know that whoever hurt you will not sleep at night and your wounds will heal.

You're young Apollo and you're your mother's child but your father's favorite son. You and him share understanding looks that no one else comprehends. When you wake up from your first prophecy, you are terrified and confused, but you feel a steady, big, warm hand under yours and it's alright. He teaches you the art of fate. You know his mind like no other.

You're young Athena and you're your father's delight. He always finds newer and newer ways to engage your rapidly thinking mind, and he chuckles fondly at your theories. "You would be a mighty king, my child," he tells you and you know it is the highest praise though you don't delight in calls of power. You watch competitions and games standing by his side. You are, still, his greatest pride.

You're young Hermes and you always make your father laugh. He tells you stories of your mother, all scented with strawberry tree fruits and wild flowers, and you wonder how big a man's heart is to store so many loves. He chides you a little for your constant pranks but you can tell that he loves you from the little glint in his eyes. He always sits you close during banquets and listens to your stories even if they're made up.

You're young Dionysus and your father finds you perplexing. He might not understand you as well as his other children, but you watch him from afar and get him, somewhat. The grab for power and the need to keep it, the desire to make others bow to your might: you've felt it since you were much younger. Always a demanding son, always a ruthless little leopard. He'd pick you up and look at you in wonder, "you are so much like me".

You're young Ares and your father does not understand you as well because you're your mother's child. You are not as close to him as others are but that's how you are with most of your family. Deep down, he relates to you - he was much like you when he was young: taking what he's owed. As you grow older, you realize you've become the same great father he is, following in his steps.

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Quick agememnon painting

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Classics Fandom Wall of Shame

All I want to do is to enjoy Patroclus x Achilles content. To ship one of the oldest ships of known history. But people just gotta be bigots about it.

Anyways, here's my wall of shame of human garbage in no particular order:

@thehelplessmortals - Racist

this post

@margaretkart - Racist

this post

@alatismeni-theitsa - Racist

this post