athenasdisappointment

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in my five years delivering pizza, these are definitely the best delivery instructions i’ve ever gotten

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They closed the Death Wendy's over a year ago and I'm still mad about it. It was a Wendy's located in the middle of a six-way intersection, requiring many pedestrians to cross the street 3 times in a row in order to get to it

It was one of the city's top ten spots for car crashes, multiple people died there, and the service was terrible. I miss it dearly

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lovestruck 💗

birthday art for my twin yeaasss

ib: alien stage official art

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I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

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illegal immigration is swag and epic and i salute everyone who does it. personally i think if you can afford to move somewhere you should be allowed to live there no questions asked. actually even if you cant afford it, it's not like i can afford to live here either. who give a shit.

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Basic life stuff on Father’s Day your dad may have never taught you

Men’s pants often have what’s called vanity sizing so a 32 inch waist between different brands is actually different sometimes. It’s still a good idea to try the pants on before you buy them.

A flathead screwdriver can be used on a Phillips head screw.

It’s always morally correct to simply walk away from a salesman. You don’t need to buy a mattress to be polite. Just leave. Walk away. Skedaddle.

A complete meal has fat, protein, carbs, and some kind of fruit or vegetable. A snack should have carbs and protein. That’s how you stay full for longer and get your vitamins. It’s really that simple.

Dumpster diving is legal in many countries including the US, Canada, and Australia but trespassing and property damage are illegal. If you are allowed to be in an area and can access the trash without breaking anything you can just take stuff

You should be thinking about retirement savings even in your 20s and 30s. Get a mutual fund.

If you go gambling, only spend cash and pull out exactly as much money as you’re willing to lose from the atm. Never use a credit card in a casino if you can avoid it.

You can add a layer of seasoning to a cast iron skillet right on the stove. You don’t actually have to put it in the oven every time.

To build a fire, build a little pile of kindling first with plenty of air under it. This can be sticks or leftover wood from the hardware store. Doesn’t matter. Then light some newspaper or leaves under it. This’ll help the kindling catch on fire. Then you can add a log to it. The log needs a long exposure to flames before it catches on fire.

Fresh cut wood needs to dry out for several months before it’ll work as either building material or firewood. Several years is even better.

Flower delivery for simple bouquets costs less than you think it does and makes a nice gift for people who are hard to shop for

University libraries often let the general public get a card to check things out from them for a yearly fee. This is useful to know if you’re ever doing some specific research.

To make hard boiled eggs easier to peel boil them with just barely enough to cover and let a lot of the water burn off. Then shock them in an ice bath when they’re done.

If you or your pets end up killing a venemous snake by accident or in self defense you should bury the head so that no animals get poisoned by it because the fangs can still distribute venom

Tall people who visit your house can see the tops of your cabinets and bookshelves. Clean accordingly if you don’t want people to see dust.

Annuals are plants that will die after one year and perennials are plants that live for multiple years

If you feel gross and like your life sucks maybe try getting a haircut

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@atticwindow

Watching a mutual start shitposting about a kink that's clearly just a bit for them right now, but you can tell it won't stay that way for long:

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me: *sends friend a message at 3 am*

friend: *responds*

me: woah woah there what are you doing up go the fuck to sleep this isn’t healthy

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One day I woke up and everybody knew what a labubu was

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HelloFlesh, just an endless supply of meat arriving at your house.

You don’t sign up for it. It just appears. Meat in bags. Meat in boxes. Meat oozing through the vents, crawling up the stairs with trails red and dripping.

Coupon code FLESHUNENDING for 10% off.

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I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

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i think all straight people should try being a little bisexual just to see how they feel about it. i dont even mean physically i just mean like. stare a photos of hot men for a bit. watch gay porn. deeply consider the potential of reconnecting with your childhood best friend who you kind of lost touch with despite how close you used to be, leading to a long slowburn romance in which you rediscover the things you love about eachother but don't want to commit in case it ruins your friendship. its called exploring your options ok.

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his true love, pizza

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each year congress people should be required to go on a field trip where they each get dumped in the middle of a random u.s. town & handed a phone with google maps & forced to find their way back to washington solely through the use of local public transportation systems.

to be clear i don't think this would improve our political reality in any way, but it would be fun to watch

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sometimes you go down the rabbithole of online kink so far you have people being like “you think inner ear oviposition is a ‘weird’ kink? wait until you hear the nasty shit i, a real pervert, am into” and blog posts that are like “it’s so hard to find someone to dig a nine foot deep hole with when all the doms i can find want to dig a five foot deep hole max :/“ and then you remember that a sizeable portion of the population consider liking anal to be freaky