athinglikeasong

[athinglikeasong]

childhood emotion of wanting a dragon that is your friend so bad that it feels like there is a vacuum in your soul that only a dragon who is your friend can fill

[athinglikeasong]

"And Cain says, “When you split me and my brother in the womb, you did not divide us evenly. He got kindness, and I got longing. He got complacence, and I got ambition. I want to kill him sometimes. I think sometimes he wants to die.”

- Nathaniel Orion, "Hevel"

[athinglikeasong]

trauma so bad my coping mechanisms have names and pronouns

[athinglikeasong]

Guide to Voluntary Switching

I/we have known we are a system for around a decade now. One of the most helpful things we have ever learned to do is switching on command. Believe it or not, although it may not feel possible, it is possible to control switching. Sometimes it is harder to do and the switch may not last long, but overall it is very possible to learn how to consistently switch in and out as needed. We are a traumagenic system but this should work for other types of systems as well.

One useful application of this skill is for studying. The alter who learns information is the one with the easiest access to this information. It is possible to keep track of who studied and deliberately call them out when the information is needed.

It is also a great skill to use when processing trauma during therapy. It makes accessing dissociated materials that are specific to one alter much easier. It can help access alters with traumatic memories during something like an EMDR session. Outside of therapy, voluntarily accessing other alters has a wide variety of uses related to accessing compartmentalized ideas and feelings, or the opposite - switching to a capable alter when a young or traumatized alter is not up to handling an unavoidable responsibility or letting a tired alter rest and allowing a new host to become prominent.

The Skill of Gatekeeping

Gatekeeper alters are a well-known alter type. They are present in many systems. If you are in contact with one or more gatekeeper alters, try to get to know them. They may be able to teach you how to think in the way that they do that allows them to control who is and isn't in the front.. It is also possible to develop a good relationship with a gatekeeper alter and ask them to voluntarily trigger switches as needed. This is one method of learning how to control switching that works for some systems.

From what my gatekeepers have shared,

"gatekeeping is in essence: remembering who everyone is, and remembering how they feel allows you to find them inside and pull them out. There is also a feeling of pushing internally that pushes alters back and temporarily makes them go dormant. "

Alter Relationships

Some alters are closer to other alters. These alters may remember the existence of other alters that others may not remember. They may be able to trigger in alters that are close to them but not to the other alter.

Internal World Dynamics

It is possible to call inside for an alter, ask for them to switch in, and they may in fact switch in, although if they are especially dormant they may not hear this request at all. Do note that just thinking about the other alter may trigger a switch to that alter.

What helps is to make an area inside where alters can be found. This could be a specific room or place for each individual alter, or a general meeting area. It can be easy to find alters there because if you last remember seeing them inside somewhere, going back to that place sometimes allows you to access them much more easily. Grouping alters that want to front together/more frequently into a similar place can help them co-front together and find each other more conveniently to trigger switches.

Positive Triggers

All alters have certain things that they are passionate about and interested in. Many alters have specific roles that they automatically come out to perform when the situation calls for it. Pay attention to these triggers. If there is a certain behavior or situation that calls out an alter, make note of that. If an alter especially enjoys doing something, doing that activity can trigger them out - as can even just thinking about doing the activity. If an alter really likes something the other alters do not have a particular preference for, keeping a reminder of this thing around can trigger a switch. If this trigger is easily encountered voluntarily, it can be used to call out the alter.

Network of Associations

All of our alters and other types of thoughtforms are connected to memories and ideas that belong to them. The brain can only process so much information at once, so all living forms within the mind cannot be active at once. The information that is salient in our mind determines who is fronting. The brain can be tricked into pushing specific alters to the front by activating information that is associated with this alter and pushing away information that is not.

Memories

All alters are connected to at least a few memories. These are typically memories that they were personally present for - but could also be memories of creative or analytical ideas, or memories of having a strong emotional reaction about something. This often comes with a sense(s) of nostalgia that is associated with the alter and often occurs when the alter fronts. Remember each one for each alter. Some may overlap. This sense of nostalgia as well as any of these associated pieces of cognitive information, such as specific memories or ideas, can be used to voluntarily switch. They may also have an area of the internal world that is associated with them where they may easily be found.

Essence

Each alter has a distinct sense of self. Particularly in systems with strong amnesia barriers, it may be difficult or impossible to directly experience this firsthand. If it is possible to remember what it feels like to be them when they are present, this can be used to trigger a switch.

Using These Associations to Make the Switch Happen

Reflect on something associated with the alter, and the feeling of their nostalgia or what it feels like to be them. This will usually trigger a switch within a few minutes of doing this constantly or repeating it every few minutes. It may help to pay attention to what areas are active in the internal world as you do this. Try to go to areas where you know that alter often is; you may make a meeting area for the purpose of these voluntary switches to make this easier. Keep talking inside to see if they respond and are co-present. Once you feel their sense of self, imagine yourself/feel yourself mentally falling behind them and push yourself backwards inside. As they begin doing things outside of the mind in the real world, eventually you will either become coconscious, you remain present but are somewhat dissociated and may only be active in the internal world/mind's eye, or a full switch will happen and you won't even notice you're gone.

Types of Triggered Switches

It is possible to trigger a full switch (either one with or without coconsciousness,) as well as to trigger partial switches. Partial switches happen when an alter is awakened and present in some form, for instance they may be able to converse or remember events, but they do not fully front.

Coconsciousness

It is common for voluntary switches to lead to a switch wherein the triggered alter fully fronts and switches in while the original alter that provoked the switch also remains present. If this type of switch is specifically desired, it can be achieved by making an agreement with the alter that is going to switch in. Together, one alter can remember to trigger the other alter whenever they notice the other is not present, and this keeps them present at the same time. If co-consciousness is difficult for a system, this may feel like playing tag at first as both alters get used to the skill of triggering switches.

Complete Switch

Complete switches are common in response to voluntary switching. If the switching alters are all in agreement, they can maintain a planned switch by engaging in a voluntary switching method to keep the intended alter in the front. It can help to have a place in the internal world where they can go to symbolize they are leaving the front and going inside. The alter that has switched in can use the voluntary switching methods as a grounding technique to reduce dissociation and keep that particular alter in front. Particularly in dissociative systems, the brain naturally attempts to depersonalize which causes cyclical personality switching; grounding on the essence of that alter's sense of self reduces this dissociation and keeps them in front.

Ground to Maintain

It is common for the triggered switch to not last for very long. You may need to trigger the switch multiple times before it sticks. It helps if the alter switching in tried to ground themselves. If you remain co-conscious, which can happen in a succesful triggered switch, it can help to reflect on the stimulus (such as the feeling of the alter or their memories or favorite things) you used to trigger the switch to help solidfy and maintain the switch.

Fatigue

It can feel mentally exhausting to try to trigger a switch too many times. It is not uncommon to have to trigfer a switch multiple times, failing each time before giving up. Sometimes, you just cannot trigger a switch at all for some inexplicable reason. Don't be afraid to give up for a bit and try again later. It gets easier the more you practice. Don't be discouraged.

Host Switching

It happens to us all from time to time - our host(s) becomes tired or depressed and needs a break. Maybe our host is functional but is not as interested in daily life as another alter that would like a more active role in their life (perhaps because it involves something that is a positive trigger for them.) There is a way of chronically using these alter switching techniques to change hosts.

In order to change hosts, you have to trigger a switch to the intended new host frequently. Some people set an alarm on their phone to trigger a switch several times a day (depends on how long the triggered switch lasts), or make an in-system agreement to always trigger the intended host when host responsibilities (like going to the doctor or paying bills or going to class or eating) come up.

By chronically triggering a switch to a different host, over time (a few days to a few weeks, generally) this becomes the system's default pattern of switching.

Hostile Uses of Deliberate Switching

Remain in good communication with your alters and make sure that the switching alters are okay with what is happening. Don't try to force alters that don't want to leave to go away, and don't try to force alters that don't want to be present to the front. Going against an alter's will can feel painful at the moment and can cause long term problems if it becomes a chronic habit.

[athinglikeasong]

Sometimes it just feels bad

[athinglikeasong]

if anything else happens to me i’m not enduring it. somebody else do that

[athinglikeasong]

Iykyk

[athinglikeasong]

here's a reminder for everyone: not every sysmate needs to know everything, or anything, about themself. its okay to not know anything about yourself. its okay if all you are is your role, or source, or one specific trait. you dont have to be more than that. you can be if you want to, of course, and if you do, make sure to do it in the way that works best and makes you happiest, whatever that may be!

[athinglikeasong]

my mom: i may have messed up sometimes but i did my best and i always loved you

me: you were such a bad mom that im unable to form a mom bond with anyone else and my brain literally had to just make me its own mom

[athinglikeasong]

the suicidal ideation man who lives in my brain and i kind of have a weird sex thing going on im ngl

[athinglikeasong]

The Plural Community Needs to Write More Essays and Make More Resources

This has been a pretty big push in the alterhuman community, but hasn't quite reached the plural community yet. So

Systems: Write about your experiences! Post them!

It doesn't have to be good or coherent, but we want to see more experiences that aren't just bland, blanket positivity posts or term coining with zero substance. Some of our favorite writings we've read have had poor grammar and disjointed paragraphs!

Reasons to write about your experiences:

It can make people who have that experience both realize they're not alone and learn ways they can explore that experience

It can be education for people who don't experience that so they can learn what it's like

It gives more potential for citation for those who are making more comprehensive resources

They can be used several years down the line to track trends and events within the plural community

Also want to combat anti-endos? Write about your experiences. Humanize yourself (for lack of a better term). Create solidarity with others and encourage them to be out about themselves. Don't let psychiatric texts, syscourse rants, and simple definitions be the only information about your group!

We'll tack on what we're interested in seeing, but feel free to reblog and add anything too:

Guides! Guides on how your system does things, or guides that can help other systems

How plurality intersects with other disabilities or neurodivergence

Headspace tours, art about your headspace, collages

The effects drugs or medication has on your system

Non-traditional roles, or even how traditional roles do their day to day tasks

Different types of plurality intersecting (i.e. systems who fit more than one of DID, endogenic multiplicity, medianhood, soulbonding, etc)

Spirituality and religion intersecting with plurality

Seriously, whatever you want to talk about

[athinglikeasong]

Shoutout to all the hosts who thought arguing with the guys in your head was a normal way of “thinking about things” 😭

[athinglikeasong]

being an autistic person that scripts out interactions 24/7 but is also plural is so weird- i keep accidentally scripting what my headmates will say then backtracking and being like- “why would they ever say that?” or just generally feeling weird that i’m scripting a scenario for them-

[athinglikeasong]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[athinglikeasong]

I enjoy being plural because it means I get to have a friend to do the dishes with when I need to do them. We sing together in cofront while doing chores, and while we cannot sing together as separate bodies would, I believe a duet is best sung in unison when it's from the same throat.

[athinglikeasong]

hm

[athinglikeasong]

>Walk into the non-euclidean space that serves as an abstract representation of your psyche

>You have a humidifier in there

>Pour two litres of the concept of root beer in

>Leave