atragicsoldier-archive

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"Is it possible to skip past that question?"

"I was asking how you’re feeling."

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"Hm--yeah, I think I tuned out there for a second. What were you saying?"

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"Ah, so that's what's been going on. I don't think I get much of a say in this since I'm technically still dead, but that's bull. And as of now, I'm done beating myself up about things. I want to do something, Steve. I want to help."

"You know me Buck, I’ll give some patriotic speech about how wrong it is to register superheroes and mutants. Then possibly be chased out of there and hunted, again." Steve shook his head. "I don’t know why I bother."

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"--Lyana."

"I come back from the nineteen forties to find they want us to register, I find myself hoping I’m in the wrong dimension."

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"You tell me. I haven't been around many people for a while."

"I left for like three days what the hell happened?"

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"Guess you miss things when you refuse to socialize. I'd offer to deal with it, but I already know your answer."

"Nothing like being chased by a reporter shouting ‘Captain America a moment of your time!’ all the way down a block. Vultures.” 

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An amused smile spread over Bucky's lips. Looks like he'd been right about her. He was so used to girls going around, pretending they were scared just so a big, strong man could save them. Sure he liked playing the hero to get the dame, but it always felt so fake. He wanted a dame with some confidence, who didn't question herself. Someone who actually had an opinion rather than just agree with everything he said. Bucky had never gotten serious with anyone because there was no one that fit what he wanted. And he was pretty damn sure there wasn't. But this girl already seemed strong-headed ina  good way just by her words. She didn't fear them hurting her. Most dames would swoon and pretend they were scared, but there was no fear in this girl's eyes. "Well, that's a good thing to hear," he drawled out in his Brooklyn accent. There was something about this girl, something Bucky couldn't put his finger on. But right away he had taken a liking to her. "Illyana? Can't say I've heard that name 'round here before. It's a beautiul name for such a beautiful dame." Always the charmer. Buck had a way with the ladies, always had. He was smooth with everything he said, and of course he always knew the right thing to be said. He'd learned a lot over the years. "I'm Bucky, and this here is my best guy Steve." He glanced over at his best friend with a smile and nothing but pride in his eyes. He loved the little guy to death, always had since they were kids. The two of them were inseparable.It pained Bucky to know that he'd be gone after the night, and the two of them would be apart for the longest they had ever been. Russian? He should have guessed that with her accent, but then again he'd never heard a Russian accent. The only ones he really heard was the accent that pretty much everyone around here had, including himself and Steve. "You're a long way from home, ain't ya'? Well, let me be the first to welcome you here" He laughed softly, blue eyes filled with amusement. "Nah, you're hardly lookin' like an idiot. Everyone gets lost, nothing to put the blame on yourself." "How would you like to come with Steve and I? We're heading out to the World Fair Expo that's in town. Afterwards I could show ya' around, if you wanted." 

Lost in the past - Lyana / Bucky

When he reached out to touch her Lyana found herself disappointed when he didn’t, sure she had to keep reminding herself this wasn’t her James, this wasn’t the guy who was head over heels in love with her. He was just a flirt, a charming guy who she was sure she remembered some-one saying he had a new girl every week, in this time she would just be a flavour of the week, but she still longed for his touch, she missed the warmth it gave her, she missed feeling whole, good, loved. She knew very little about the James in this time, if he had a girlfriend or if he was currently single if he even found her attractive in this time, she was sure he had better options than her.

Hurt her? That was hardly her concern she could rip them to pieces before they could make a move to injure her. Not that she ever would she knew those two they couldn’t hurt her, they would never hurt a woman. “I don’t fear you hurting me.” She told him returning his smile slowly. She wanted so much to run into his arms, why did it have to be a time when he didn’t know her.

Feeling the engagement ring on her finger she bit her lip as she chanted in her head fading it from her hand onto her other one, she refused to take it off but she din’t want to have to try and explain an engagement ring to them. “Illyana My name is Illyana. “ She told him, what was she doing in a back alley by herself? Way to bring the complicated questions there James, no wait, this was Bucky, Bucky not her James. Toying with the edge of her cardigan she bit her lip once more as she tried to come up with a reason for her to be hiding in a back alley.

“I’m new to the city, from Russia, I got lost and then I heard the other guy and I thought hiding would be the best plan, and now I’m just making myself seem like an idiot.” Her accent was strong enough to sell her story she just hoped they didn’t ask any questions about Russia her Russian history was shaky at best, which considering she was Russian was pretty bad.

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"I'm not being a Scrooge, whatever hat is. I'm just not in the holiday spirit." And why should he be? His head was filled with so many things, and Lyana was no where to be found. Steve was happy, and James wasn't going to ruin that happiness by bringing everyone down with his problems.

"Oh come on, Bucky. Don’t be such a Scrooge". Molly probably shouldn’t even be bothering him and she was pretty sure he just swore in whatever language he just spoke.

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His eyes flickered with amusement when the boy actually went along with it. "How about 'pretty please?' That might get you extra brownie points." 

"Y’know what? I’ve never thought of that before." Richard flitted his eyes from the guy to look down at the metal machine that had thudded to his feet. "Please?"

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"I just don't get it. I don't know why she would love me. There is someone far better for her, I know it." He was just too broken, and Lyana deserved so much more. He knew she was broken too, but what if they couldn't fix each other? What if James just made everything worse? "I--I don't know. I'm not supposed to feel things. I was a weapon before anything else.I shouldn't feel anything." And a part of him always expected punishment for feeling something, or doing something wrong. It was so ingrained into him. "I don't think I read that book. It's something else. Of course. Natalia it is, then. I don't know if I can do that."

"James all you do is make her happy, she is so in love with you just your name makes her happy. You are both broken, but maybe you are perfect to fill the breaks in each other," She suggested to him. "So why push her away? She doesn’t trear you like your broken or going to snap because she trusts you, she loves you, and because of that there is no fear to her when shes around you and honestly I don’t think you could ever make her fear you." She told him when he asked about the red room she shrugged. "Maybe you read fifty shades of grey. Its ok, You can call me Natalia. Its a Russian thing. You let her in, and you deal with everything together, as a couple because thats what you are."

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He watched silently, raising an eyebrow as he watched the kid break what appeared to be a vending machine. "Perhaps you should try saying please and it'll listen next time."

"No, no, no, don’t do that!"  In the building for less than an hour and already busted up some property. That had to be a new record.

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"I want her to be happy. She deserves nothing less than happiness, but I'm not capable of giving he r that when I'm too broken myself to even feel happy." James frowned at the question, running his flesh hand through his hair. "I don't know. She makes me feel not so lost anymoe. I mean, you and Steve do that too but it's different with her. She doesn't treat me like I'm broken--like I'm going to snap at any second. Lyana never has." Confusion flashed in his eyes. "The red room? I--why does that sounds so familiar? I'm sorry, it just sounded right. I'm well aware of how stubborn Lyana is. I just don't know what to do."

"You make her whole, the girl lights up when she see’s you, like as long as you are nearby the world is on her side for once, and for a girl who grew up in a hell dimension thats a pretty huge thing. Ignore everything for a moment, when you are with her how do you feel? Compared to how you feel when its me or Steve with you." She asked him. "No-one has called me Natalia in a long time, not since I left the red room, its always been Natasha since." The last person to call her Natalia had been him. "You know I’m right James, she loves you as much as you love her, and you can try and push her away but she won’t go anywhere."

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"Я не дуться . Это вряд ли ваше беспокойство , теперь это?" I'm not pouting. This is hardly any of your concern, now is it?

"Что, так что вы можете дуться еще? Вы посмотрите, как кто-то пнул щенка." What so you can pout some more? You look like someone kicked a puppy. 

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The Wall of Valor: Every S.H.I.E.L.D. facility has a memorial to the agents lost in the line of duty. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s history can be traced on walls like this. 

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"Yes, I know. We were both doing it. She's told me before that Darkchylde has taken a liking to me, so that would explain why she didn't use her magic on me. And how long is it going to take, huh? This programming has been ingrained inside of me for seventy years. I can't escape it. I-I don't know why I would make her better. She shouldn't love me. Yes, I did. Is that not right? That's your name. I'm not supposed to feel. I don't like to feel." Every time he did, he expected punishment. "You can keep trying to convince me, but it's going to get you no where."

"I’ve seen the tapes, Darkchylde was getting you right back. I think you should be glad she didn’t use her magic on you. You didn’t let it win, we’ve talked about this it takes time, it will take time but you do so much better when she is around and so does she! The amount of spells that backfired before she met you was more than I could count, you make her better. Did you just call me Natalia? Ok one, you are not a machine, you are a human, a person, you can feel whatever you damn well please. Two, you do deserve her love."

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James knew that look he was getting. Of course he did, and like hell was he going to let it work on him. She should know better than that. He rolled his eyes in return. "Oh sure, because physically attacking her is a completely normal thing to do! Losing control and letting the programming win is normal. I don't, Natalia. I don't deserve it. And I don't know what I feel. I shouldn't feel. Machines shouldn't feel."

Giving him her ‘don’t try and bullshit me’ look she rolled her eyes. “You fought James, couples fight its normal, healthy even, and besides you know Lyana you think she would let you avoid her? James she loves you because of who you are, every-one deserves love, and you love her back this is good for you, both of you.”

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"Почему бы вам не беги оставь меня ."  Why don't you run along and leave me be.

"Должны ли мы, чтобы вы немного зеленая шляпа Гринч?" Should we get you a little green Grinch hat?