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[attackedbymidgets]

7 February 2018

Early today before he went off to work, my husband walked into to our daughter's dark room to say "Good morning! I love you!" What did Lulu respond to his sweet statements?

"DAD! I'm sleeping! Shut the damn door!"

Not turning 3 in April... more like turning 16 in April. Oy.

[attackedbymidgets]

5 February 2018

If your child eats flax granola, you'd better expect the... expected! And when she asks to eat "all da cheese please", you load her up so you don't have to spend your whole day wiping her bum.

It's 9:30am and I know it's going to be a crap day. Literally.

[attackedbymidgets]

What are YOU doing tonight? Me? Oh I'm going to put my kids to bed and then I have a date!!

With this man.  Yes, my date night is with a book.  No, my husband and I don’t do ‘date night’.  I’m not sure we ever dated.  I think we met and then went straight into married forever until one of dies and the other collects a tidy sum of money. February 1st, 2018

[attackedbymidgets]

25 January 2018

Lulu is shopping around our house with her shopping cart and baby doll. She has a full load of play food. I'm in the kitchen cleaning up. She wheels her cart past me and into the playroom to 'shop' more. I hear struggling noises and peek around the corner through the door.

Lulu is trying to put her baby in the front of the cart where the doll seat is. The baby's head and an arm are now stuck in a leg hole. She's getting frustrated when she throws up her hands and says, "Oh Karen. *sigh* You a mess. I canna take you anywheres."

I had no idea this baby's name was Karen. Good to know.

[attackedbymidgets]

24 January 2018

Lulu LIKES flossing her teeth. She spends about 30 minutes a day with a kids flossing pick through the day in her mouth. She also is obsessed with brushing her teeth.

So I guess we can thank Storybots for this new fad. On the downside, we're low on toothpaste and I can't find my husband's hairbrush. I'm pretty sure she thinks it's a larger toothbrush based on past experience. When I find it I have no doubt it will be covered in toothpaste and kid spit.

[attackedbymidgets]

21 January 2018

Lunchtime and Louise is running through the house screaming "NO TOMATOES!!!" They're not having anything resembling tomatoes for lunch. We get it Lu. You don't like tomatoes. Stop screaming. 

[attackedbymidgets]

18 January 2018

Chapter entitled - How to raise a drama queen without even trying.

Conversation late this morning, way after her brother went off to school.

"Mom, I sad." in most pathetic voice ever. "Why are you sad, Lulu?" "Sayer not talk a me ever me." "I'm sorry you feel that way. Are you sure he is mad at you?" "Sayer ruining my life!!" in tone of frustration. "How, exactly, is your brother, who is not even here, ruining your life?" "I so devastated. I really sad. Sayer hurt my feelings. He not my nice brother. He my mean brother." arms crossed, head lowered, voice so SO sad. "I'm sorry you're devastated, Lulu. That's very tough. But he's your only brother, so maybe you need to talk to him about how you're feeling." "He's not my best friend anymore!! Sayer hurt my feelings. I so sad. He ruin my life Mom! He need a long time out... away from me. He ruin my life all a time!" Now fall on the floor, hands over eyes soap opera style, fake cry, and repeat the words 'sad', devastated', and 'ruin' in terms of your brother in varying phrases.

Where she picked up the ruining and devastated statements from, I have no idea. If she's almost 3 and he's ruining her life NOW, I've got news for her about the next 16 years! So I'm going with the scientific evidence that it is a gene. The Drama Gene. And it, apparently, is rampant in Louise.

[attackedbymidgets]

15 January 2018

We have this thing we do every time we sit down to supper. We go around and ask each other "What was the best part of your day?" "What was the worst part of your day?" "What was something you could have done better today?" "What is something you're going to do tomorrow?"

Today at supper when it was my turn to be asked, after the day I had, when the Hubster looked at me and opened his mouth to ask the questions, he instead said, "You know what? By the look on your face and the stuff that I can't identify on your clothes, I'm going to just say there probably WASN'T a best part to your day and A LOT that was probably in the worst category. And saying that, I know that you're going to do it all again tomorrow trying your best, so really I guess you get a pass." as I took a long drink from my glass of vodka soda.

He guessed right. But tomorrow... What I'm going to do is more laundry and dishes. So there's that question answered.

[attackedbymidgets]

12 January 2018

Before school today...

S - "Why do we have SO MANY packs?!" M - "Well there is yours, the two for preschool for Lu that were yours, Daddy's travel pack, our summer bag, my carryall bag, there's the..." S - "Whoa. Stop. That's about a four too many." M - "No. Think about all we do. Each bag has a different purpose. *insert Mom thinking out loud moment* I guess I should really get rid of some." L - "NOOOOOO! Not my packpacks!!" M - "No, not yours. Just the other ones we don't need." L - "I NEED MY PACKPACKS!! I be free soon and go my Bummlebee class wid Mist Molly! NOT MY PACKPACKS!" Huge crying fit from Lulu. S - "Lu. Stop. You're not three right now. Bumblebee school is not till after summer and it's winter! For geez get offa the floor. You still have a pack. *insert look to me and comment* Ugh. Babies. She don't get it. Always sumthin."

Ummm... When did my 5 year old become 40?

[attackedbymidgets]

11 January 2018

One day my sofa will be sat upon without hearing a crunch and finding a now-broken "heart of feetee" necklace. One day my children will not hide muffins they "have to have for breakfast" in the heating vents so that you get a lovely smell of chocolate, dust, and I-don't-know-what-the-heck-that-is. One day the cat will not barf on the stairs and I'll not hear a tiny voice yell "MOM!! There's kitty pook on the carpet and I almost steppeded in it!" One day I will not be asking "Why didn't you tell me you had to poop?!" One day my husband will not put candy wrappers in the bed so that I find them when I make said bed.

And one day, dear friends, this will not all happen on the same day.

[attackedbymidgets]

10 January 2018

A rabbit just hopped right across the front steps and under the porch. IN FRONT OF MARLOWE. He didn't even move a muscle from his bed. Good job MH. Way to be on your game. 🙄

Now if this had been Pearl... We'd have a dead rabbit and Sayer would have a cool hat.

[attackedbymidgets]

8 January 2018

It's still dark outside and yet it has begun already...

Me - "What do you want for breakfast sweetie?" I list all the options. S - "Banana bread! The kind you made!" M - "Can do." Give S banana bread. S - "Not this kind. I don't like it. Can I have something else?" M - "This IS the bread I made. That's the banana bread you like." S - "No. This is different. It has crust."

EXACTLY THE SAME BREAD HE'S BEEN EATING SINCE I MADE IT. So I tell him this.

S - "But it's brown! And has crust! And it has bananas in it!!!"

Ummm. Yeah? It's BANANA bread?

[attackedbymidgets]

3 January 2018

What the heck is with my children and putting things in noses?! Sayer has gotten the following stuck in his nose over his 5 years on Earth: Bandaids Candies/Food Toys An attempt at a marble Husband's computer gadget(s) Battery

Louise has already outdone him in her almost 3 years of life: Beads* Food Toys Bandaids String Pen* Ribbon Doll head* Keychain flashlight *Three of these happened JUST TODAY!!!*

I don't know what to say or what is safe any longer. Can I tap out now? I need a drink and a nap. And maybe a pie. 😒😔

[attackedbymidgets]

31 December 2017

2017, I'm lacking as to what to say about you. You were a year of lessons and teachings; a year of crippling despair; a year of never letting go of hope. You couldn't have given me more of a reason to cling to what became my mantra... Good Things Are Going To Happen. I said it everyday. Outloud and in my mind. And sometimes, 2017, I said it so many times in a day that I literally forgot other things about that day. I've said it in stores and before bed; as I held my children and while in the sunshine; as I lay curled on the floor and in the car.

And this taught me something. No matter what you brought, there are still good things, still silver linings. There is always hope. Even in the saddest moments, the most wonderfully special days, the humdrum of routine. Hope wins in my life. For you can knock me down, kick me around, and take my very breath away... but to get up and keep going forward? That's hope. That's the silver lining.

Good Things Are Going To Happen. Yes they are. I believe in this. I trust in this. And while I was doubtful many times, good things DID happen... no matter how small. They happened. They existed. I am still here. My family is still here. We still have that hope that every day can be a good one.

2018? I am going to keep saying this. I'm going to keep thinking it. I'm going to hope through you, love through you, learn through you. I'm going to grow through you, be thankful through you, find those little silver linings through you. You will probably twist and turn my world. You will undoubtedly test me to my limits. And you will assuredly push me hard. But I'll keep getting up. I'll keep giving more of myself. I'll keep thinking the best, hoping for the best.

Just you wait. Because my heart is an ocean and I have room for many boats. Good Things ARE Going To Happen.

[attackedbymidgets]

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! Have a holly jolly day! December 25th, 2017

[attackedbymidgets]

23 December 2017

You know what I just love? That I can shop in my jammies for market items at Target online. All I have to do is send the hub to pick them up. No kids bugging me about Starbucks or the dollar section, and I get EXACTLY what is on my list without 16 other things that Target always sucks me into buying.

Thank you Target for making the holidays a little easier on a tired mom!!

*Take note Costco! If you did this too, I'll bet you one of my children and half a leg that every mom in town would be taking advantage! Win for you AND win for mom's everywhere!

[attackedbymidgets]

While my kids are asking Santa for goodness knows what loud and obnoxious things, I'm realistic in my Christmas list.