aubjornsnightmare

[aubjornsnightmare]

Divorce seems to radicalize american men in a way that needs to be studied

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Fully convinced that “rowdy” is some polite society way of calling someone a faggot

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i have never seen a clearer metaphor for being a closeted gay male than murph playing maxwell gotch, a character who is lured by the promise of sweaty, muscular men creating intricate rituals to touch each other and who frequently bites off his delicate white gloves to show his dirty bruised knuckles. happy pride everyone

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this season is truly giving us the characters of all time & the players at their best. like:

intelligence-based emily character?? already deadly. she was once the spitfire of the crew but now she's haunted, hollow, vengeful? she might be a revenant bc you can't convince me marya wouldn't live & die by "captain goes down with the ship"? she crashes into a wasp just so she can personally shoot their engine out? she has a pet rat with a mech suit that's more than ready to beat the shit out of intruders? she runs a toy shop with her aunt zuzu? inspired.

nepo baby child of true libertarians beardsley character? & a rogue at that? already getting flashbacks to liam wilhelmina. on top of that she's a trans fangirl that her grandma knew would need to be protected at all costs? you can tell she's imagining herself on an adventure with monty when she's lassoing the pheasants, that "easy girl" is a direct quote. they're at the height of their power.

lou pulling out a ranger, i think the first wisdom-based character of his since kingston brown. he's a bestselling author, he's an environmental advocate, his voice is quiet (very close to lou's eursulon voice imo), he hangs off the side of a ship to riddle the deck with bullets, he's silent when he marks his quarry and kills without hesitation. he pulled his tooth out to give it to a boar. my god he's perfect.

siobhan "i don't think i have any beefy characters" thompson rolling up with a fighter, born into & bred for sailing, fighting, and giving orders. she's never heard of sunscreen, she's the crew's hardass mom, she'll go down before she lets anyone touch marya, she greets adrenaline & blood with the same fondness as her cinnamon roll of a husband. she will protect her family at all costs. immaculate.

zac. fucking. oyama. the old southern man of all time. he's wanted, by the law and by many others. he's divorced. he lived with a pack of coyotes to cope with the heartbreak. he swore to protect your family where you couldn't. he's a gunslinger. his best friend is a labrador that's been called "ghost dog" since he was a puppy 38 years ago. his guns are called "biscuits" & "gravy". you can see some of his greatest hits coming together to form a new fan favorite. brennan WILL fuck that old man before the season ends.

don't even get me started on whatever the fuck Maxwell Gotch has going on. murph, who just wants to be a good good boy and punch bad guys, once again putting himself on the front lines. he's out & proud at college but closeted at home, he loves his grandfather, he's reclaiming "rowdy", he only removes his gloves by biting them. he wakes up every day at 5am to do a thousand squats. he gets bloodlust so potent he damn near kills himself in the process of killing three other dudes, and vomits when he comes down from the high & realizes what just happened. he made dawderdale orgasm just by talking to her. murph's dice have been waiting for this moment. he's pompous, he's violent, we all know he's queer, & he's already my favorite of the season so far.

plus, the npc's? adding wealwell to the long tradition of needing a gilear or alphonse the mule? and you can't convince me that bert isn't going to be the obscenely magic old man this season he's gonna pull a sawed off shotgun out of his aioli or something he's the plug strut of the season i'm calling it.

this season is already so immaculate i am losing my mind

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kinda insane how common and accepted it is for yanks to just casually mention wanting to join the military. yeah I wanted to kill people because of a videogame. I wanted to kill real human beings because I thought it'd be fun. I would kill human beings who Aren't Real because they aren't American (Real). and you just have to fucking deal with it! especially being arab diaspora like jesus christ it feels like a genuine threat at some points. I wanted to kill people like you. I killed people like you and feel good enough to say it. I think anyone who's ever even thought about joining the US military should kill themselves

[aubjornsnightmare]

lalala lets all skip around and hold hands

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🌕🌑

==>

[aubjornsnightmare]

say it ain't stoat

[aubjornsnightmare]

hear me out

karkat holding ice cream or smn all happy and whatnot and he gets bumped into (by dave or john or anyone you want) and he gets really mad

day ruined

immeasurable hate.

…

yeah.

He is always angry, lets make him cry instead

[aubjornsnightmare]

cop donut stereotype is bad because being fat and eating many donuts : hot. but police officers: not hot. the humble donut, one of the most sexual foods, the reliable donut. we should take this practice and give it to a different more sexy profession, such as electrician, or professor of linguistics

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whatever bro i’m soooo normal

[aubjornsnightmare]

One struggle 🫡

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damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

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(cw: sexual assault) the pedophile -as it is understood outside of academic circles- is a mythical creature. the idea that a complete stranger who kidnaps and sexually assaults kids is their biggest threat is absolutely insane; not one case of CSA (child sexual assault) in a hundred looks like that. CSA is committed almost uniformly by adults in a preestablished position of authority (such as family, family friends, clergy, or teachers) and in a way that a victim who doesn't know what sexual assault looks like will be left unsure what happened to them. without knowing concretely how sex and sexuality works, would you be able to tell the difference between molestation and the various other forms of unwanted physical touch and abuse kids are regularly subjected to? would it even seem that different? but parenthood and the submission of youth to adults as institutions are threatened by the reality of CSA. adults need to justify their ownership of children through an imagined outside threat constantly held at bay through their diligence. the truth - that putting yourself in such a position of authority over children directly enables abuse (including sexual abuse) - is thrown aside.

[aubjornsnightmare]

>You see a strange creature dart under your car.

>CHECK UNDER CAR.

>You have discovered COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK.

>Side quest "WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD" available.

>WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD: Ask your next door neighbor about the COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK.

>NEIGHBOR: I haven't seen that before. Though I hear THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY caught a strange bird on his property last week.

>WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD: Ask THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY about the COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK.

>THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY: We don't keep birds. But you might want to ask THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD. He has lots of birds.

>THE FARMER ACROSS THE WAY gave you two SWEET CORN and one CUCUMBER.

>WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD: Talk to THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD.

>THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD: Oh! You found my COTURNIX QUAIL CHICK! He keeps escaping. Thank you so much!!

> You have cleared side quest WHY DID THE QUAIL CROSS THE ROAD. You have gained +2 to NEIGHBORLY BONDS and +3 to CHARISMA. THE FARMER DOWN THE ROAD has been added to your CONTACTS LIST.

[aubjornsnightmare]

can we get every mercs stomach

FUCK YEAH!!!

This is probably the first time i drew all the mercs like this lol usually its just medic or engi

Closeups and Bodyhair alts below~

Gosh i tried i'm sorry if i didnt deliver when drawing your favs lol its pretty obvious which ones i draw often JWHDHSHBEUEHEWHAH

[aubjornsnightmare]

happy xb monday!!

i hate summer so projecting my straggles onto xb