audreyblanche

[audreyblanche]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[audreyblanche]

@pscentral​ event 36: trios alec hardison & eliot spencer & parker

look, I know it’s not the same thing but hardison and I are gonna be here for you forever.

[audreyblanche]

One of the stranger things about training brand new nurses is explaining how to min max small talk. It feels very weird to coach people on how to chat.

[audreyblanche]

In time travel movies, when the time traveler asks 'What year is this?!?' they're always treated like they're being weird for asking.

When in reality, if you go 'What year is this?!?' people will just say '2024. Crazy huh.' and you go 'Wtf where has my youth gone.'

And if you ask 'And what month??' people won't judge you, they'll just go like 'SEPTEMBER!!! Can you believe it?!?!' and you go 'WHAT?!? Last time I checked we were in May?!?'

[audreyblanche]

*white knuckling the bathroom sink* do NOT infodump ppl about the fact that the first spn fic was a wincest one and that it was posted mere hours after the pilot and that the founder of ao3 was a wincestie and that the first fic on ao3 was wincest too and that the omegaverse as we know it was created by wincest shippers for jared/jensen fics *pointing at myself in the mirror with a shaky hand* ppl will think you're weird and off-putting you need to control yourself–

[audreyblanche]

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLLL THAT KIIIIIIIIIIIILLS PEOPLE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARL

[audreyblanche]

lucy liu deserves the lesbian cult following that cate blanchett has and you can’t change my mind

[audreyblanche]

This whole fight is Andy being attracted and Nile refusing to lose…

[audreyblanche]

deleted scene

[audreyblanche]

When I say I want to learn how to fight, I mean like Charlize Theron in The Old Guard.

[audreyblanche]

The Old Guard

[audreyblanche]

Charlize Theron and Kiki Layne as Andy ‘Andromache the Scythian’ and Nile Freeman, during the plane fight scene in The Old Guard.

[audreyblanche]

the old guard crack #29473

kidnapper: we have your son.

joe: i don’t have a son.

kidnapper: but you’re under the contact name ‘daddy’ in his phone though???

joe: santa maria madre de dio, they have nicky.

bonus:

andy: you mean nicky has them.

nile: wait, what does that even mea-

*the sudden sounds of gunshots, pained screams, and angry italian cursing begin to echo from the other end of the call*

nile: oh.

[audreyblanche]

Motherfuck

[audreyblanche]

This is the first moment that Andy really recognizes Nile as more than an obligation. Andy is a fighter at heart and the moment Nile lands a clean hit, she’s surprised but more than that she’s delighted. 

[audreyblanche]

#impressed

+ bonus

[audreyblanche]

women of The Old Guard (2020), dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood