audriannaartsxx

[audriannaartsxx]

Skzoo piece i did for a calendar 🌼✨🌻

[audriannaartsxx]

[audriannaartsxx]

among the brass trumpets and sunflowers

[audriannaartsxx]

the problem with how people characterize narumitsu is that they only see them as the grumpy and the sunshine ship dynamic, so they end up writing phoenix as a golden retriever and miles as an old gay queen.

but like, phoenix is such a bitch. the bitchiest bitch that ever bitched, actually. he enjoys sarcasm and trash talking, but he has this thing called "situational awareness", so he knows not to behave like a massive cunt in front of people involved in a murder investigation

on the other hand miles gets easily flustered and his fight or flight response to being caught off guard is spitting a venomous comeback. but in his head he's making puns. he's thinking about how the plants are beautiful. he's like an easily spooked horse who is also a dork that gets into a staring contest with a dog. and then loses

[audriannaartsxx]

house md log

[audriannaartsxx]

Wolfdog house & golden retriever Chase🐾🐾

[audriannaartsxx]

I didn’t draw in over 10 days⁉️

[audriannaartsxx]

i have an inordinate amount of house md drawings

[audriannaartsxx]

[audriannaartsxx]

i will raise my children traditionally

the oldest will have a ruinous military career and develop a tendency to recklessness, alcoholism and anger management issues the middle one will be a brilliant student with strong atheist inclinations and casual demonic hallucinations the youngest will be an angel prone to hysteria turned tsaricide by circumstances

[audriannaartsxx]

‘hilson is canon!’ i yell into the mic. everyone cheers. ‘wilson isnt gay.’ its him. robert sean leonard.

[audriannaartsxx]

reaaaally appreciate hetalia gangsta portraying america as less of a goofy burger guy and more of a goofy burger guy who has deffffinitely ordered to have people killed . whos kind of a scam artist. whos kind of a monster. despite how desperately america envies humanity he's probably the least human of them all.

"it's a monster that has already demonstrated it's overwhelming power" / "wouldn't this new game system turn that man into a monster...!?"

cmon, himaruya. you can't just have alfred/hero/america undergo excruciating pain (BY HIS OWN DISTRICT'S INVENTION!) because he's been caught in a lie, referred to as a monster by his father figures, and then be unable to recognize his own tears. you can't do that.

...and then he is immediately psychoanalyze-attacked by russia/ivan/Король, who tries bringing up hero's childhood and accuses him of being a coward. just. Completely Unprompted. thanks ivan! you guys are on the same side right now! in case you forgot!!!

and ofc this infamous panel. to me, its like this:

russia tries to Look Friendly -> it doesnt work and no one is fooled -> aw thats kinda cute actually, poor guy america tries to Look Friendly -> it works incredibly well and his true nature is concealed (until a moment like This) -> Wow That's Horrifying

he's a sketchy lil monster, isn't he?

[audriannaartsxx]

Here's the Rus side of me comparing RusAme with their other ships

Ivan

As for Ivan... He tends to alienate a lot of people with his attempts to befriend them. A lot of his relationships are off balance, with him being a "tad" controlling and forceful. Just a tad.

Toris or Gilbert?

Those like Toris and Gilbert, for example, get no benefit while Ivan gets all the benefits. Definitely a lot of complexity, angst material here but will Ivan ever feel fulfilled? no matter how he tries to convince himself, it'll feel empty when control is part of the dynamic. Even when there's affection on Toris and Gilbert's side, fucked up as it is. That kind of relationship is too fragile.

Yao? Francis?

Now with Yao and Francis, they're off to a better start, seeing Ivan on more equal terms. They have shared interests and hobbies and can get along with Ivan, and appreciate his good qualities. But there's always that hint of fear that holds these relationships back. Yao is creeped out by Ivan's eccentricities, it's like he expects a handshake but Ivan goes for a hug. Boundaries aren't a thing here. Yao has to deal (rip), bc that's his old business partner. A tiresome relationship with lots of comedic moments at Yao's expense. At least Ivan is having fun, even when Yao struggles against his hug (going off their canon scenes together)

Francis can on some level sympathize with Ivan's insecurities and longing for love, and passion for the arts. He has a soft spot for Ivan ("you were once a cute kid!"). Often takes on the role of a big brother. But their dynamic is kinda like that quiet kid in the corner who idolizes the prom queen? Ivan puts Francis on a pedestal and gets disappointed when he falls short, like that time Francis changed his mind on what's 'trendy' in fashion. Francis gives Ivan a listening ear and good company but they have different needs. They are both needy people (my interpretation). They want different things in a relationship, and can't find it in each other. Sounds like a beautiful disaster waiting to happen. RusFra definitely has its appeal.

Others

Mathew, Ludwig, Arthur, Felix, er... Sadiq? I see you ruseng shippers and I am intrigued. I have no idea what relationship issues they'd have. Is tea gays their version of space gays? Well. I speculate that other Rus ships would fall into 1) Ivan gets all the benefits and no one is happy not even Ivan 2) they get along but want different things or 3) they're in it for some ulterior motive

Sooo. The poor bastard is doomed to unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships, right? That leaves us with

Alfred

Let's be real. They're both part of the "no one wants them" club lmao. It's not that no one finds them attractive (many do), but no sane person wants an actual serious relationship with Ivan or Alfred. Too many red flags, too exhausting.

I wouldn't call RusAme healthy, but it might be his most functional relationship. The one with the least relationship issues (ironic how at odds that is with their work reputation). But we're not talking about their public lives. This is about their private lives. Not the "perfect" whirlwind romance, but functional, long-lasting, satisfying (close enough). At least it scratches an itch they can't get with anyone else.

Ivan desperately wants stability and affection. While what Alfred offers isn't stability per say I think what is most important is his lack of fear of Ivan and his affectionate nature. Hugs and cuddles for days. Alfred can potentially accept Ivan's eccentricities, not just put up with it. He's open-minded (one of his good qualities!) and an optimist.

Like Ivan, Alfred had to be tough and survive by himself in the wilderness at a young age. Being neglected, yearning for affection, struggling to get recognition, from being shunned to being feared, and the pressure that comes with power. He can relate to Ivan on so many levels.

While others may see Ivan as an unsurmountable, broken mess who should be left alone (Ivan does NOT want that, anything but that), Alfred doesn't see what the big deal is! At most, Ivan's issues are mildly inconvenient to him. He walked in covered in blood? "Dude, that's badass" He's looming over with a threatening aura? Alfred don't give af, he got his own scary aura. He's built different.

Alfred isn't daunted by the challenges. Whether he's naive or likes the thrill - he'll give it a shot (what's the worse that can happen? weeell) The biggest hurdle is gonna be their bosses and friends' disapproval. The problems they'd face are external, not interpersonal. If it weren't for their public roles/positions, they could *easily* be friends. Close friends. (shout-out to all the AUs letting them be dorks)

The thing about Ivan is, he likes to toy with his object of affection, likes pushing them to their limits to see how they'd deal. Guess who happens to likes extremes and games? (Alfred!) Ivan wants a playmate AND he wants to be loved. He has shared interests with Alfred. While they do have wildly different perspectives on life/lifestyles, they can learn from each other. Paintball, arcades, planeterium dates. Never a dull moment in the RusAme household.

I don't think they'd bicker all the time -- over time they can find common ground. Ivan strikes me as someone who enjoys sharing and is open to hearing you out if you stick around long enough. But most people don't stick around long enough :'( He senses their discomfort, gets scared they'll leave, tightens his control, and drives them further away.

There's that classic dynamic of an introvert being adopted by an extrovert that RusAme brings to the table. With a side of "I can fix him / I can make him worse" so the result is a net neutral. This is great if you prefer them the way they are, flawed.

Anyway, sucks to be Ivan, his best option is the fat American (sorry)

This has been brought to you by the RusAme agenda tm

[audriannaartsxx]

It was hard to decide who would be who, but finally here it is, the Bad Friends Trio as the Chiikawa trio hahaha or probably viceversa

[audriannaartsxx]

House in 2024

House: faggot

Foreman: I.. don't think you should be saying that

Chase: arh naur I theenk he carn archally. Ave you seenim with Wilson?

Cameron: I think it's a little rude to speculate about someone's sexuality while they're in the room

House: oh no no, let Chase continue. I wanna know when he'll start describing how I take in in the ass-

*house realizes something*

House: WE HAVE TO CHECK THE PATIENTS ASS

[audriannaartsxx]

I HAVE DISCOVERED HOW TO MAKE EDITS ON CANVA I AM UNSTOPPABLE

[audriannaartsxx]

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.