i'm a horny fucking lizard nice to meet u 🦎 living my best life in a dumpster behind a taco bell 🌮 i would let jim root stomp all over my neck and then thank him for it 🥴🍆💦 and in case ur wondering, sun crusher is the dumbest superweapon in star wars it's seriously so dumb u wanna cry like that thing actually literally crushes entire SOLAR SYSTEMS like COME ON but also it's like crazy awesome and i'm living for it so yeah i'm a raging nerd why do u ask? 🚀
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daddy 🫦
#OH MY GOD????#THE LAST PIC???#DADDY???#STALLION???#BIG HANDSOME VIKING HUNK???#oh god i am so THIRSTY for this dude#thank u op this post is 🔥🔥🔥
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Happy 4th - some red, white & blue James seems appropriate
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insta @antheaphotographyconcert
he whips his hair back and forth - so hot 🫦
#THE LAST PIC 😩😩😩#OOOF HE’S SO FINEEEE 😮💨#daddy#big man cute#BIG GORGEOUS MAN!!!#i love his fancy louboutins too! 😍
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#HOT DAMN 🥵#oof that white boilersuit tho……….#DADDY???#HOTTEST MAN ON THE PLANET??? YES???#wet dirty big man 😏#😏😏😏
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#THE MAN LEGGINGS!!! 😭#THE LIL’ ANKLE SOCKS WITH THE LIL’ STARS ON THEM 🥺#dude is a fashion ICON tho#but one thing fucking GETS me: how the hell is he not bothered by his hair falling on the guitar strings???#I LEGIT WANNA GRAB THEM AND PUT THEM ON A PONYTAIL AND IT’S NOT EVEN MY OWN HAIR!! 😭#i love him your honor 🩷
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Looool King of Chaos, Duke of Way Out There Fashion. The crazy mismatched socks I can't 😂🫶💓
#THE SOCKS ARE SO CUTE!!!#oooooh and the barefoot (?) shoes as well!!!#i love a baddie who drips sex appeal but also likes to be comfortable 🤗#HE’S SO PRECIOUS YOUR HONOR 🥹#IS HIS HAIR……………. A LITTLE RED? 👀👀👀#BRB GONNA GO SKETCH A CONCEPT WHERE JIM IS A HUNKY STRAWBERRY BLONDE VIKING
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#OOF 🥵#SMOKING HOT DILF BADDIE CONTENT YES 👌🏼#BIG GORGEOUS MAN#BIG GORGEOUS BEARD#HE’S GORGEOUS OK???#like……. there’s no going around it THIS MASK IS THE BEST AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL
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Jim and his pack 👀 @aurinkomoukari
#WELL WELL WELL IF IT ISN’T JIMBO PACKAGE-OGLING TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN 😏👀👀👀#🍆🍆🍆#YES I AM DEFINITELY STARING AT IT AGGRESSIVELY!!!#JIM PUT IT AWAY WE’RE DYING OF THIRST HERE!!! 😭😭😭#I WONDER IF HE’S STILL ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR HIS MAIN PACKAGE-ADJUSTER? 🤔#GRABBY GRABBY GRABBY GIMME GIMME GIMME 🫱🏼#THANK U FREN THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING 😍🙏🏼
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the one where Jim needs his package adjusted (15219 words) by aurinkomoukari Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Slipknot (Band) Relationships: Jim Root/Reader Characters: Jim Root, Gender-Neutral Reader - Character, Shawn Crahan, Michael Pfaff, Brad Clifford Additional Tags: TUMBLR MADE ME DO IT I’M INNOCENT!!! 😂🙈, Gender-neutral Reader, touring life shenanigans, executive assistant realness, U BABYSIT NINE GROWN ASS MEN FOR A LIVING AND IT’S…………… GETTING TO U!!! 😤🤬, Smut, Shameless Smut, (super not-serious and not-really) workplace harassment, kind of infuriating and insufferable jim, Teasing, y’know how boys pull on your pigtail when they like you?, that. this is exactly like that, Enemies to Lovers I guess?, ENEMIES TO PACKAGE-ADJUSTERS!!! 🙈, YES IT’S LITERALLY THAT STUPID LMAO, big dick problems, having an enormous schlong is SO BOTHERSOME 😩😩😩, mid-show groping, Humiliation, Dom/sub Undertones, Semi-Public Sex, Blowjobs, Gratuitous references to bananas 🍌, THEY FINALLY BONE!!!, IN A MIRRORED ROOM NONETHELESS!!!, backstage mirror sex, Making Out, Kissing, Hot & heavy 🥵, Reader on top, switch switch bitch, IT’S STUPID ALRIGHT???, ……….but also, breakdown 🥺, Crying, Tough Questions, minor detour to some childhood trauma, People-Pleasing, kind-of-but-not-really dubious consent, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, super obvious reference to Anora, IT ENDS REALLY REALLY WELL I PROMISE!!!!! 🙏🏼
Chapter summary:
The show is over and you have a bone to pick with Jim. You’re about to find out that the package-adjusting was not the end of your lil’ dance with him, it was only the beginning…

#THE PACKAGE-ADJUSTING SAGA CONTINUES!!! 😂#AND IT’S REALLY SMUTTY 😏😏😏#jim root#james root#slipknot#slipknot fanfic#AO3 fanfic
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🥹🥹🥹
#I AM DYING!!!#SO MANY THINGS TO UNPACK HERE!!!#HIS GOOFY ASS LAUGH!!!#THE WAY BABY SIDNEY GRABS HIM BY HIS HAND!!!#bestest uncle ever 🥹🥹🥹#jim root#james root#slipknot
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so fine 🫦
#STALLION STALLION STALLION#btw i love how he’s like FUCK Y’ALL IF I WANT TO WEAR A MASK FROM 6 YEARS AGO IMMA DO IT!!! 😂😂#he’s so precious i love him
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How kind of Brad to bless us with such explicit Jim booty content on this fine day 😁👌🏼🍑
#IT’S MAGNIFICENT!!!#YES I AM ABSOLUTELY STARING DIRECTLY AT IT!!!#🍑🍑🍑#i wanna bite it 👀#jim root#james root#slipknot
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hot hot hot 🔥
@klapper.cz
Also, adding to his crazy socks collection. Wearing cute sparkle socks with his fancy louboutins ❤️🔥❤️🖤
#CUTE SPARKLE SOCKS!!!!!#HOW DID I MISS THEM???#SKJGJKHLKH I’M DYING FROM THE CUTENESS!!!! 😩😩😩#big adorable man 🥹 picking his socks in the morning 🥹 saying y’know what today i’m breaking out my new sparkle socks 🥹🥹🥹#i love him your honor
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#SKJKHGKHK THE MANS TOO FINE MY BRAIN IS MALFUNCTIONING#DADDY????#peak hotness jim 🥵#the tour photos are delivering again#jim root#james root#slipknot
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#DAMN 🥵🥵🥵#DADDY??? 🫠🫠🫠#oof i am…………. FEELING THINGS RN#IT’S SLIPKNOT TOUR SEASON AGAIN & TIME TO CRAWL OUT OF MY CAVE!!!
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Poor V-man, leave him alone!!
If anyone can make a clip of this, you can see the idea forming in Jim's head.
youtube
Happy to see Jim a little playful in this tour. 🦁💜
#SKJKHKHL JIM STAY AWAY FROM THE MAN’S DING DONG FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!!!#it’s good to be back and see that our giant doofus is still a giant doofus 😅
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