autisticspoonieblog

[autisticspoonieblog]

I'm hardly the first person to say something like this but it's incredibly fucked up that health insurance is an industry that sells itself as an essential service but makes money by trying as hard as they possibly can to not provide that service.

[autisticspoonieblog]

[autisticspoonieblog]

ear buds under ear defenders my beloved

the only sounds i shall perceive are the ones i put there myself

[autisticspoonieblog]

I have a lot of neurodivergent kids in my family. And I’ve worked with a lot professionally. And I often see their parents think the kids don’t want to connect, when they would love to — they just want to do it differently.

If they don’t like jokes and teasing, they might like silly noises or yes-and improv.

If they don’t like playing a competitive or narrative game with toys, they might like to take apart a toy, or sort/stack/line toys up, or get buried under toys.

If they don’t like biking or walking a trail in the woods ‘properly,’ they might like to walk along fallen logs, stand in the creek or look under rocks and leaves for creatures.

If they don’t like hugs and cuddles, they might like to bump shoulders, touch fingers, hand hug, spin around together, or (if they like more intense input) wrestle, push faces together, squeeze each other hard or run into you.

If they don’t like putting on kids’ music in the car or to dance to, they might want to listen to a game or show soundtrack, nature noises, a podcast, binaural beats, house music or metal.

If they don’t like animated movies where sad or scary things happen, they might like younger kids’ gentler shows, or adults’ science and history shows, or live zoo and nature cams.

And so many of them would benefit so much from the adults just slowing down. Not scheduling so much in the day, not rushing them through an activity, not stopping them playing the same song or watching the same bug for an hour, letting them absorb everything their way. Seeing it as a meditation instead of a problem. Joining them there.

And if you were one of those kids being rushed and scolded, trying to make yourself like teasing or competition or intense movies or a full social schedule — I’ve been reparenting myself and you can too. Whenever you notice something isn’t giving you joy — you can do it differently. Not everyone is forcing themselves through things they hate for “fun,” and we don’t have to.

[autisticspoonieblog]

In hindsight it's very insulting to be told that flunking out of college due to adhd is actually "quite common"

[autisticspoonieblog]

Got some accessibility feedback for the creators of my nervous system:

"Tired" feels way too much like "depressed," leads to insomnia and chronic fatigue. Needs tweaking so these two signals are more distinct for players with sensory processing disorder.

Similarly, "hungry" feels too much like "enraged," please adjust so bystanders don't wind up getting shouted at.

"Thirsty" is straight-up too weak and not obvious enough. I'd recommend reworking this one from the ground up. Thirst is a critical mechanic, even more than hunger, and it NEEDS to be obvious at all times or the player will be constantly debuffed without knowing why.

Background volume of the world is simply too loud, leading to confusion (unable to distinguish important foreground sounds from background ambience) and ear pain. Ideally you should have built it from the ground up with the levels in mind, but even just having separate volume sliders for different types of sound would go a long way to alleviating this.

Bones itch. I have no idea how to fix this one but please investigate.

[autisticspoonieblog]

dming people is so scary it feels like im walking directly into their bedroom and putting some bullshit on their bed

[autisticspoonieblog]

Autism and loud noise

[autisticspoonieblog]

"autistic people need instructions for every simple task" okay how about we talk about the neurotypicals not following clear instructions. what do you mean it didn't work the way you wanted, i gave you the instructions. oh you didn't follow them? you didn't see where i clearly indicated the directions you were supposed to follow for this task? and you're shocked it didn't turn out right? you decided to pull a Jared I'm 19 and go rogue? you're surprised the road less travelled isn't fucking paved because no one travels it? do you get off on this

[autisticspoonieblog]

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

[autisticspoonieblog]

I will always side-eye NT parents who are okay with electric shock devices being used on their autistic kids.

Their argument is always: “They let me try it, and it felt like a little pinch!”

They have an NT nervous system.

An autistic person’s nervous system can turn that “little pinch” into feeling like they’re burning alive (difficulty or inability to localize pain) or having their limb sawed off (hypersensitivity).

Why do you think some autistic people will go into brutal self-injurious meltdowns over a little cut on their toe or a tiny canker sore in their mouth?

When I was a kid, I gave myself a “little” shock trying to pry a plug out of a socket with a paper clip. I was 4 and didn’t know metal conducted electricity. I thought my arm was on fire, and all I had was a tiny burn on one finger. But I was in so much pain that I screamed for hours. That was technically a bigger shock than the people who get zapped as an aversive get, but my nervous system flipped out and forgot to turn off the alarm system (pain) for 3 hours. It was so traumatic for me that I wouldn’t touch cords or plugs for years as a kid. (Now I can and do all the time– very carefully and without paperclips!)

My point is: The zappy thing is a little pinch to you. It’s not a little pinch to autistic people.

It’s torture, and it’s traumatic.

[autisticspoonieblog]

"but it's medically relevant whether you're male or female, so nonbinary people should just misgender themselves at the doctor!"

this is exorsexism.

no. what is medically relevant is what body parts we have, not what binary gender you think we have based on body parts. my body does not have a different gender than me. besides, it's not like human bodies fit into two distinct categories either.

keep gender out of things that are actually about bodies. our gender is only relevant in medical settings when it comes to being gendered *correctly* and how marginalised genders have medical disadvantages and worse mental health outcomes. and then, it should be up for us to tell you, and there need to be more options than male and female.

[autisticspoonieblog]

I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

[autisticspoonieblog]

@staff our identities aren’t nsfw and we will not stand for them to be treated as such

[autisticspoonieblog]

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

[autisticspoonieblog]

people with chronic pain will go “ why can’t I sleep well? Why am I crying for no reason? Why am I getting frustrated easily ?” Not yet realizing their pain got worse

[autisticspoonieblog]