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Dead woods

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…each particular tree, and its season, and its shadow, were utterly known to me, likewise the small desolations of forgotten lilies and irises, likewise the silence of the railroad tracks in the sunlight. I had seen two of the apple trees in my grandmother's orchard die where they stood. One spring there were no leaves, but they stood there as if expectantly, their limbs almost to the ground, miming their perished fruitfulness. Every winter the orchard is flooded with snow, and every spring the waters are parted, death is undone, and every Lazarus rises, except these two. They have lost their bark and blanched white, and a wind will snap their bones, but if ever a leaf does appear, it should be no great wonder. It would be a small change, as it would be, say, for the moon to begin turning on its axis. It seemed to me that what perished need not also be lost.

– Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping

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by roksolyana_hilevych

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A Softer World: 938

(Instead of slowing down, I just shine brighter.)

buy this print

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Bull Thistle and Dandelion   -  Matt Bollinger , 2022

American, b. 1980 -

Flashe and acrylic on unstreched canvas ,  30 x 24 in.

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Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

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Well i Love you if that helps

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"How shall I ever find my way back here?"

"You must stand quite still and listen. You'll hear me whisper, and the leaves rustling. Good-bye."

– Joan Aiken, from “A Room Full of Leaves,” The People in the Castle: Selected Strange Stories (Small Beer Press, 2016)

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 Felix Gonzalez-Torres "Untitled" (A Portrait), 1991/1995

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“Perfect Lover I” & “Perfect Lover II” by Can Sun

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i've missed you, the brightest star in my sky!

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vintage gold ingot charm

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Love in a Time of Climate Change by Craig Santos Perez

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Untitled 8x10 acrylic on canvas painting by Protoguy

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Gustav Klimt, The Kiss // Robert Winthrop Chanler, Leopard and Deer

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YOUR TEETH // MY FLESH

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'wool gathered from a decaying sheep worked around a hole,' 2001 in enclosures - andy goldworthy (2007)