autosexuals - Tumblr blog

[autosexuals]

We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.

The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972 (via tenitchyfingers)

[autosexuals]

hello! i'm so glad i found your blog, it's been such a relief knowing i'm not the only autoromantic/autosexual out there. i was journaling last night and i finally decided that i am autosexual (i've been afraid to admit it to myself for a while now). so i guess a question i have is how do i explain to people, just everyday people, what autosexuality is, without them thinking it is narcissism? is there a way to phrase it other than "attraction to oneself" but still get the message across?

Honestly, I’ve found the easiest situation with people in general is don’t bother. Not just for autosexuality but like, when it comes to Random Acquaintances, I really think about the effort:reward ratio of explaining any sexuality more complicated than gay/straight.

In a way I think that leads into how to explain it when it is worth it. Decide first why you want this person to know. If it’s because you want them to know you, the full truth of who you are, then that’s gonna be  a different explanation than like, explaining to someone that you’re not whatever sexuality they assumed you were.

The part of the answer you were probably looking for:

I guess I’d say “I like going on dates with myself just as much as I like going on dates with other people.” And like “I think I’m attractive. Like not to everyone, duh, but I’m attractive to me. I’m my type.” Focus on the feelings you have that are different to how other people feel.

I did once at a family gathering talk about the fact that I think masturbating is better than sex, to the genera; consensus that I must be doing sex wrong (I wish I’d thought to tell them they were masturbating wrong), but I don’t know if I’d necessarily advise that.

[autosexuals]

I know you don't like the flag, but I want to thank you for making it, Ruin. It's helped me feel prouder as an autosexual, like someone can actually know I am one. I'm an ace-spec auto, so I'm only attracted to myself, and I'm also an artist. When I use the flag design or an auto character in a piece, it feels like I can help normalize autosexuality. With the flag, I can get the auto discussion going and the auto acknowledgement increased. Not to fight oppression; to be recognized- So thank you~

I really appreciate this message. I’m very glad to hear I could help you, even indirectly, and I’m glad that the flag has a good place in people’s lives. 

[autosexuals]

Garnet is autosexual!

(requested by anonymous)

[autosexuals]

idk if you're still active or anything, but here goes nothing I personally don't identify with autosexuality, but I think that it deserves a flag. The LGBTQ+ didn't create the idea of pride flags, and they most certainly don't own them (think, countries, sports teams, things like "Mad Pride" flags) So imo if you only feel like you can't make a flag because of the LGBTQ+ community, I think that the majority wouldn't mind. There's always a few sticklers no matter what.

That’s a totally fair attitude and I really see where you’re coming from. Like, I’m totally up for other LGBT+ people to determine what they think is right here. 

My problem with the flag is more that it’s related to an attitude I don’t think is useful, i.e. the attitude that autosexual people must be LGBT+ because they’re not what most people think of when they think of straight. The flag, and a lot of other flags for variations on gender and sexuality, is just a symbol of that.

[autosexuals]

im so afraid to come out as auto all my friends are incredibly homophobic and and my parents will literally kick me out im 15 please help

I know this isn’t always the answer people want to hear, but I feel like the best thing to do is not come out yet. It’s not something you’re obliged to do: ever, but especially not when you’re young and vulnerable and you know how badly it’s going to go. I can’t stress how much easier it’s going to be when you have more independence. A lot of people find that after school they get new friends who have more in common with them, and that makes it a lot easier too.

When and how you come out is entirely up to you. If you’re afraid of it, you don’t have to do it. It’s still brave and smart and good if you decide not to come out.

Please message me back if there’s anything else you need to hear. I know it’s hard as hell to live in a homophobic environment even when you haven’t come out. If you do want to come out, hopefully we can find a way to make that a safer experience. 

But either way please remember that there’s a future you who has done this, and who cannot believe how scared and how strong they were for getting through it. A future you with accepting friends and more independence and more safety. And you deserve that future.

[autosexuals]

I’m here for autosexuals who aren’t out to anyone I’m here for autosexuals who hate being autosexual I’m here for autosexuals who love being autosexual I’m here for autosexuals who are still struggling to accept their sexuality I’m here for autosexuals that fear they are broken or wrong or bad I’m here for all the autosexuals who are auto from trauma I’m here for genderqueer hetero-autosexuals or cetero-autosexuals I’m here for autosexuals who are also pan or poly or gay or bi I’m here for autosexuals. 

[autosexuals]

I saw this autosexual stuff and thought it might be relevant to your interests: soluscheese(.)tumblr(.)com/post/146968223199

Hey thanks for this message.

I’m not generally in favour of pride merch for autosexuality. The flags, and related merch, are a sign of pride at having survived oppression and continuing to fight oppression and directly related to LGBT / queer oppression. I don’t think that’s appropriate to autosexuality. 

I’m in favour of anything which makes people feel safe and confident in their sexuality - which is why I really like positivity posts, people’s stories, and the reason I run this blog. But I’d urge people to think about whether identifying as LGBT or queer, and whether using those sorts of flags and identifiers, is appropriate to them personally.

[autosexuals]

[autosexuals]

Autosexual Aucasaurus is sexually attracted only to themself. This abelisaurid knows that their relationship with themself is not based in narcissism or arrogance, but is in fact a form of self-love and introspection that defines their way of life - your autosexuality is an essential part of your sexual and personal identity that you should feel free to explore and express. 

A close relative of Carnotaurus, the much smaller Aucasaurus has provided paleontology with the most complete abelisaurid skeleton to date, allowing for a more comprehensive understanding of this little known group of dinosaurs.     

[autosexuals]

Autosexual Magnemite. I still have to do asexual, polysexual, lithsexual, sociosexual, and heterosexual. 

[autosexuals]

I agree that being sexually attracted to yourself doesn’t stop you being ace.

It’s also true that enjoying masturbation does not equal autosexual. But if you’re sexually attracted to only yourself, it’s totally possible to identify as both autosexual and asexual.

(As for it still being in use: I think so? There’s definitely a problem with trying to treat it as part of the LGBT+ umbrella, because cishet autosexuals aren’t LGBT in my opinion. But I think it’s still in use in a general sense.) 

Hello, I'm autosexual (sexually attracted to oneself and prefers self pleasure to sex) but I'm sexually attracted to literally no one else and have anti-desire to have sex with anyone at all. Do I still fit under the asexual umbrella?

Yup - the only qualification for asexuality is that you don’t feel sexual attraction. I’m not sure that autosexual is still in use? I’m a bit confused by what you mean by being sexually attracted to yourself, and I’d love it if you could explain. Sexuality is just about attraction, not about who your sex partner preferences or masturbatory habits. 

-Kiowa

[autosexuals]

Also letting people know that @autosexualsupport is a blog that exists and is probably fractionally more active than this one. So that’s someone else you can check out if you feel like. 

[autosexuals]

I keep seeing all these fucking posts about how autosexuals are just narcissistic and self centered and not legit and nothing infuriates me more tbh. Like, if you feel like autosexuals are any of those things please message me right now so I can block you. For real, I had no idea what to call myself for ages because I felt too damn sexual to be asexual, and then I found out what autosexuality was and it just fit me to a T. And BY THE WAY. When autosexual people say they’re sexually attracted to themselves, it doesn’t (always) mean they literally are turned on by themselves (although it can mean that too!! And even if so, so what? Self love isn’t a bad thing as long as you aren’t putting others down to raise yourself up) It means that they prefer self pleasure over anything else. It’s part of the ace spectrum, like it or not. I’ve been questioning for a long ass time, but I have felt completely solid in my autosexuality for over a year. It’s a part of my identity, and even if you think autosexuality is the most absurd thing ever, it gives me something to call myself and relate myself to. It makes me feel more comfortable with who I am. So please don’t be rude. If you wouldn’t bash anyone else’s sexuality, don’t bash mine.

[autosexuals]

Hi! I am a writer for the zine TURPID. In a world full of hate, we wanted to focus partially on love, ALL love that is. Gay, het, a-sexual, pan, etc and that includes the autosexual communities. We were wondering if you or any other autosexual people would be interested in writing an article about it(such as the issues, definitions, stigmas, differences between the two and levels, "benefits", experiences, culture, etc.). We'd love to hear from you! Cheers.

Publishing this for anyone else who might be interested. 

I’d be up for writing something. It’d be more of a political/intellectual nature than personal/emotional, but if that’s okay I’d be glad to. Is there are a cut-off date, word limit, that sort of information?

[autosexuals]

Can you be auto sexual and pansexual? I am attracted to and have a relationship with myself, but also have an SO. I realized that I was auto sexual while making love to myself.. I don't just mean masturbating, but doing all the things for myself that I would want someone else to do for me, gave me the same satisfaction as actually doing things with someone else. I'm a little discouraged because a lot of people excuse it as "ego", but ego doesn't explain away the emotional fulfillment.

You definitely can be both. I usually find it helpful to think of autosexuality as something that can be paired with any other sexuality.

It's definitely not just ego. I definitely understand the difference between masturbating and making love to yourself, and there's nothing wrong or unhealthy about finding that satisfaction and fulfilment with yourself.