autumnalmind

[autumnalmind]

First time awake in ages, it feels like... Maybe it is? Hard to say; time is such an odd thing. For me, especially.

I hope everyone is well. And I may try to stick around a little while, and see how things are faring.

[autumnalmind]

WHAT THE HELL. I JUST FOUND OUT- TODAY- I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR. (Like, log-dated.)

A part of me is like-! Fuck, I didn't even think about it! But I did! I should've made this a calendar event; what the hell?!?

...But more importantly... It's already been a whole year? Really? It barely feels like that... Shit's been so slow and then it goes by so fast, that time just becomes this weird, half-concept in the corners of my vision. Barely makes any sense, yanno???

Uh, anyways... Excitement cooling off as I process this. Just kinda...glad to still be kicking, I guess. Sounds like we'll get some treats tomorrow, as a belated "first year" celebration...

Happy and stunned. Hoping...I can be around next year, too. Yeah.

[autumnalmind]

It's another one of those days, where there's a party in the main room, I know a headache'll be incoming later, feeling mildly dizzy atm...but for now? It's nice.

Everyone's having a good time. Things are easing up.

Good times.

[autumnalmind]

trying to make posts is hard, I've decided. I don't know how anyone else does this sort of thing...

[autumnalmind]

One of these days, I'll figure out a nice template for everyone to use that'd make introductions easier. [is very picky on the fine details] Until then... Thoughts!

Very funny that the LoZ section of our mind is as follows:

Two Zorae who any fan of the series would know (esp the classics)

Three who jumped in at some point, all based out of my theory-work as a kid (one goddess, a demigoddess, and a Chosen Hero)

...this unicorn who waltzed in, settled within the Hyrule part of the internal world, and has been living there ever since

...It makes for an interesting experience, I'd say!!

[autumnalmind]

So as luck would have it... Talking abt alters in a Discord server leads to potentially finding someone from the same part of source!! And in the spirit of potentially confirming that... A break from the norm, and sharing one of our alter's info!! (At least, what we know of them at this point.)

So-!

Irida / Orei, the unicorn of BotW.

Appears as a classical unicorn. (Cloven hooves, chin beard, and lion's tail.) Slight difference in that their horn is curved.

Any pronouns! With specific encouragement to use different ones at any time. (So you'll likely notice shifts between pronouns... It's their preference.)

A wanderer, primarily!! Many fond memories of traveling all over Hyrule, both shying away from people and occasionally revealing itself.

Generally a kind being, but not shy in the face of a fight. Horn was a weapon physically, but could also cast magic from it!

Memories on the events of that timeline are vague. Can't really tell what part she might've had to play in it, aside from a feeling of certainty that she was there for them. (Potentially including the timeskip, but this is also muddled.)

Cannot stress enough that it seems his biggest, most cherished memories were of wandering. Apparently a treasured location/visit was to the Floria area; decent amount of nostalgia for the area, and wanting to revisit it.

That aside: don't know their origins beyond that. "Irida" was picked from "iridescence," which certainly implies some glow and shimmer to their appearance, and we've had thoughts on ties to the Lord of the Mountains, all things considered... But aside on theories, they- themself- haven't talked much about it.

(We've been given the impression that it can talk, but hasn't done so for us, yet. Just a lot of visions and impressions. This makes working out details a struggle, but we're accepting this.)

Specifically recognized that they were a separate being in that I thought we were going through unicorn shifts (kintype appearance), but was quick to realize it was only in regards to BotW era and music relating to it... The defining feature to realizing what was going on in headspace.

Ah, and @ashley-kins / @linklethehylian! Here's the post! :D

[autumnalmind]

Little log of the recent things...

It's been a really rough week. Between being sick, a convention over the weekend (that was in a HUGE building, so our legs got some work in!!), and then just. Something happening that sent us into a tailspin-

Well. We're managing better!! Finding ways to process stuff on our own, since there's no way we can get it done professionally right now. And turns out, some ideas- though they seemed silly/unachievable at the time- work out a lot better than one would think!!!

(Being vague, bc the alter involved doesn't want to share specifics. So I'm respecting that.)

Basically, care methods are in place, and we're back to putting the pieces together. One atta time.

.......But um. Also, if anyone has money to spare, I was also thinking of bringing up emergency commissions here...? In a tight spot with money atm, due to bad timing, and it's making getting food really tricky. Wondered if anyone would be interested in that.

(It's largely writing and art! I want to get more into edit stuff, eventually, tho. Like, I've cropped up icons before? So there's a thought, too...)

Anyways-!! Yeah. Throwing that out there, in the event someone might be able to help. (No pressure, tho, given the world's situation, atm.)

[autumnalmind]

controversial opinion but ive suffered enough and should get everything i want for forever from now on and also im pretty cute

[autumnalmind]

Gyutaro and Daki keychains at the convention..... I want them so badly.

(We just returned, and holy FUCK our feet hurt so bad!!! Worth it entirely, tho.)

[autumnalmind]

i am NOT a bite risk. do not listen to them

[autumnalmind]

she’s a poor little meow meow. she was born in a wet cardboard box all alone. she’s suffered more than jesus. she’s misunderstood. she’s a silly guy. she experienced the horrors. she did all those crimes. she has done nothing wrong. she deserves to kill. she’s the most interesting girl in the world. i didn’t say a name, but she popped into your head, didn’t she?

[autumnalmind]

Want to do stuff, but feel sick and gross... Which means that nothing on earth seems appealing in any way.

And tired, which means a dash of cranky onto everything...

There's no one around who I can talk to, either, so I feel like I'm going nuts!! There's basically nothing for me to do that would be nice, and-?! Auuuuugh!!!

This is the worst...

[autumnalmind]

So we're about...two days running with semi-consistent, many-people internal rambling, and no major headaches yet?

Might've spoken too soon on that, but the most we've been "suffering" so far is being incredibly tired. And honestly, that could still be any number of other reasons for why we need a nap.

...Versus the usual quiet that comes through every so often, this is a weird adjustment to have...but not bad at all, either! I don't really mind it.

We...do have new people, though. So still need to unpack that one...

[autumnalmind]

Thought that's been following me around for awhile...

Just. A system full of yearners. Missing things we cannot return to. Places inaccessible. People we remember, but aren't here in the same way they used to be. (Nor are we. Incredibly changed, on so many levels.)

...It's really lonely. And not helped by the fact reaching out is all that much harder with RSD; if a tone is misread, it's hard to reach out again. Or maybe we read that signal right? How many bids for interaction is "too much" and just a lost cause?

[sigh]

It doesn't help we're incredibly tired tonight, I think.

[autumnalmind]

The thing about it. Is when feeling out of it and sick, you really start to get/understand where people are coming from with certain things.

Today's edition? Hammock. Or a swinging chair.

Despite being sick, crawling up in one of those, swaying side to side, maybe with an open window; risk that the pollen won't knock us on our ass...?? Dunno, sounds nice. Comforting.

...I have to half-set up a load of laundry, and I want a nap. This is misery.

[autumnalmind]

(x) (x) (These appear to be for a June release!)

[autumnalmind]

Went to a convention today, and Gyutaro's VA was there... Really thought I'd be immune to the system-wide shyness around those associated with source... (Cosplayers or otherwise, there's been a bit of a consistent, soft "oh no" every time we see them.)

....I was not immune. We did not go over.