autumncrocusandladybug

[autumncrocusandladybug]

oh this is bullshit.

i've come to terms with most of the physical limitations of my body. but the fact i can't lick my eyeball with my tongue like a gecko? every day i uncover a glistening new misery of the flesh

[autumncrocusandladybug]

[autumncrocusandladybug]

Ice suggesting a white woman remove the Mexican flag sticker from her car. Can they all kill themselves already

[autumncrocusandladybug]

Eddie, infamous Corroded Coffin guitarist, posts to his socials like, “Look at this deranged fan.”

And then it’s just thirty seconds of him breaking into a house, running up the stairs, and then scaring the absolute hell out of Steve while he was getting ready for bed.

He tackles Steve onto the bed and kisses him before telling the camera, “The deranged fan is me. I love this guy.”

Then the video loops back to the start.

[autumncrocusandladybug]

Steve doesn’t initially tell Tommy about the new friend he made at the park because Tommy gets jealous and mean about him having other friends.

But Eddie is funny and he does funny things so Steve eventually tells him.

Only every description Steve gives of Eddie is like, “He’s really weird and crazy. He lives in the woods and he’s made of dirt. There are worms in his pockets and he bites me a lot ‘cause I’m sweet. Like pie.”

Tommy’s not even jealous because he fully thinks Steve is making ‘Eddie’ up. It’s just like when Steve says his parents love him or that he went to ninja school.

It’s only when they get to high school and he sees Eddie Munson saunter across a cafeteria table that he realizes ‘Eddie’ wasn’t some imaginary friend.

Tommy hates him instantly and he makes sure Eddie knows it.

[autumncrocusandladybug]

Actually very funny if Dustin is running an entire online campaign to get famed guitarist, Eddie Munson, to date his brother.

He’s making TikToks about it. He’s posting on YouTube. He’s on the subreddit and any forum he can find. He has a dedicated instagram and Twitter account for solely this purpose.

He’s in the DMs of every Corroded Coffin member like, “Steve is so sad and pathetic all the time. He only dates assholes and needs someone to be nice to him. Plus, he’s HOH so he can barely hear your music which is good! He would NOT like it. Give him a chance.”

Meanwhile, Steve is the least online person in the world and has no idea that he’s going viral for being a dateless loser.

[autumncrocusandladybug]

love the phrase "perish the thought." so unnecessarily visceral. let the thought perish. let it curl up into the soil and decompose like a miserably rotten failed little seedling. return to nutrients beneath my heel

[autumncrocusandladybug]

I'M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY KIDDING RIGHT NOW IT SHOULD BE FUCKING ILLEGAL FOR WEBSITES TO RUN LIKE ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT ON PURPOSE EVERY TIME THEY CATCH UP WITH ADBLOCKERS

[autumncrocusandladybug]

[autumncrocusandladybug]

you put an Apparently Reasonable Amount of dried pasta in boiling water and it turns into Much More Pasta than Anticipated

[autumncrocusandladybug]

farfalle & ravioli | jellycat ™ | coming soon

[autumncrocusandladybug]

Oh hello there, fic idea that I'm gonna fantasize about for days/weeks on end but not write. Nice of you to drop by

[autumncrocusandladybug]

You can clearly see his thought process where he slowly starts to realize he's in love with a literal cat. Plus Maomao's lack of insight of her own cat-like disposition.

[autumncrocusandladybug]

I forgot how to hold a pen

And also I'm back from a con yay, it was fun

[autumncrocusandladybug]

It's like idk man, I still wash my paint brushes the way my art teacher taught me how a decade ago. I eat tortillas the same way as the ex I haven't seen in years. You can fly to the other side of the world and the shop will play the song your dad played in the car when you were a kid and it still sounds exactly the same. My hair grows funny in one spot because I got a scar on my scalp when I was six.

Sometimes I reach for light switches that aren't there, that have never been there, because I used to live someplace that had a light switch in that spot. And I think maybe life is about repeatedly reaching for light switches that aren't there. In a few years you'll be somewhere else, and you'll reach for the light switches you have now.

[autumncrocusandladybug]

at our weekly allstaff meeting at work we always do an icebreaker question. today it was just tell us your hobby. that was the question. and i watched my coworker next to me go into chatgpt and ask it "hobbies." am i working with fake people am i being truman showed what the fuck is going on in here