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love that padmé’s dying unconscious on a table and yet obi wan bail and yoda are such gentlemen they still feel the need to pretend they had no idea that she was full-term pregnant with twins. what nice guys

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This is a prayer request.

I turn 20 this month and it's stressing me out. Every year is just another reminder that I am a failure.

I have no job, no money, no hobbies, no romantic prospects. I had to drop out of high school because I was being harassed by a classmate and ex boyfriend that raped me multiple times over our 5 month relationship. I had a 4.3 GPA before that and I threw it all away at 16.

I developed agoraphobia that I am still in recovery from (done by myself) and I have severe dissociative symptoms from my PTSD. I also have OCD, which I've had for as long as I can remember.

I need a lot of help and support that I am not getting, even when I ask for it. My mom has gotten my brother and his friends jobs, but when I asked for help on getting one she shrugged me off and told me to figure it out myself. I have nothing to put on a resume and I have zero social skills.

I have asked my mom for help in finding a therapist, she just tells me to look online. I can't afford it and I know she will use her paying for this against me in the future.

She wants me to learn how to drive but she won't teach me or pay for lessons.

I can't sleep (and when I can, I have nightmares). I feel sick when I eat and when I don't. I should be in college right now, but instead I space out all day and my mom hates me because of it.

I had a health scare a few months ago. I thought I was dying. All I could think about when I was lying on the floor is how much easier it would be for my mother if I did die.

I don't see a future for myself. Everything is bleak and hopeless. Things would be so much better if I was never born. I add nothing to the lives of the people around me.

I'm so sorry to hear about all that you have been through and all that you are going through currently. I'm not sure what country you live in, or what the medical processes are like there. But you should be able to ask your doctor for advice with regards to accessing therapy. They may be able to let you know about local online resources (like online courses), group therapy, or even sometimes one-on-one support that is free or low cost.

I would also recommend reaching out to mental health charities in your country, and asking if they can offer some advice or suggestions. They may know about schemes that can pay for therapy, or provide other forms of support. While helplines aren't the same as therapy, they are a free resource that you can reach out to in order to vent if things ever feel too tough. For help finding different helplines (incl ones that offer support via text, email, or web chat) https://findahelpline.com/ should be useful for you.

Rape Crisis Shelters will often provide free or low cost therapy, and I would definitely recommend reaching out to them for support. You do not just have to talk about rape or other forms of sexual violence with them. You can bring up other topics, so don't feel like you can't use them. You absolutely can. It does not matter how long ago it was, or whether you want to press charges or not, they will support you.

When it comes to employment, I would try and suggest seeing what support the things I mentioned above can provide. If you have no work experience, I would look up templates for people in your country (for example I know the UK and the US resume layout can be pretty different) for those that do not have work experience. You can use that to apply for jobs. I would also suggest volunteering opportunities, as they are great for giving you work experience as well as opportunities for socialising. There are a lot of different kinds of work experience, some of it is customer facing, sometimes it's cleaning or working a desk job or social media.

If your country has any kind of employment support organisations or charities, they can also help you out. Some of them might possibly be able to refer you for occupational therapy or let you know of any employment support schemes. Occupational therapy is so called because it's essentially meant to stabilise someone's mental health enough that they're able to go back to work / into employment. This is not long term therapy, but if you can access it, it might be helpful as you try to find other longer term therapeutic support. If that isn't a thing where you are, try not to worry because there are other options when it comes to free or low cost therapy.

Some charities such as women's organisations, food banks, rape crisis shelters, any kind of support service really will sometimes offer either drop in sessions, workshops, or some other thing. Sometimes it's group therapeutic arts and crafts. If it's free and accessible to you, even if you don't know how much you're going to enjoy it (unless you know you really hate it) try and access it. Getting out the house to go do something can be therapeutic in itself, especially if you have opportunities to socialise with other people and there is some form of structure to it.

Try also looking into social groups in your area. Maybe a local library has a book club. Maybe some people organise a film club over Zoom. Maybe there's a chess club. I'm not sure what sites are popular in your area, but one that gets recommended here is https://www.meetup.com/ and there's often a list of in person and online social activities. You may find this is helpful just to have something positive to try out, an opportunity to socialise with others. There may even be things like neurodivergent clubs, or introvert clubs etc that aim to be as accessible as possible.

I'm not sure if you go to Church, whether you believe in God or the Saints. But you can consider reaching out to local Churches to see if there's any support they can give. They may have an opportunity to volunteer or work with them. They may have a club that you can go to. They may even know someone who's a trained driving instructor who would be willing to teach you to drive for free or at an affordable enough cost. Try a bunch of different Churches. They may also know of support organisations to recommend you access if they're unable to offer you support. There is also this prayer to Saint Jude for 'hopeless causes', that you might find comforting to pray each morning and night (or whenever you can). As part of the prayer, you also pray the Our Father and the Hail Mary. I'm linking them as well just in case you don't know them.

For anxiety before sleep or for before eating. Try placing a cold can or a cold compress on your vagus nerve. This can help reduce anxiety as well as help with digestion - https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/vagus-nerve-cooling-anxiety. It is not a cure for depression or anxiety, but it might help lower your anxiety enough so that eating doesn't make you feel sick. It might also help relax you enough for having some nights sleep without nightmares. Another thing for sleep anxiety you can get, is little microwaveable soft toys. They have lavender inside and the microwave heats them up to provide you with some warmth for a little while. It might help you to have something to cuddle into. Lavender is also meant to promote relaxation, I personally find that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

While you may not have a therapist, you can still work on building up your toolkit of coping mechanisms. I am going to link some examples, that you can try. An important thing my therapist suggests is to practice your grounding and coping techniques even when you feel fine. This makes them easier to remember to use when you are feeling worse. And by turning them into a habit whenever we have anxiety, or the first thing we do before bed and the first thing we do in the morning, we can also reduce the anxiety we experience throughout the day.

EFT Tapping

Grounding techniques

Window of tolerance

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Now, these things aren't cures. But they can reduce your anxiety which can make things much more bearable. They can also help with feelings and symptoms of disassociation. They can prevent panic attacks. And so on. Create your own toolkit of the things that work for you. Some of them have different use cases - some of them you use while in crisis and others work best when used to prevent crisis. Find some things that fill out both kind of categories.

I know that things seem scary and hopeless now. And I know how unbelievable a better future might feel. But I promise you, the world is better with you in it. You make people's lives better by being in them. I hope and pray that some of these resources are able to offer you some support and guidance to make things feel a little more hopeful for you, and to hopefully ease some of the burden you have.

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"lord take all of faramirs suffering and give it to gollum" -samwise gamgee

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will never forget the time when i was a kid with our friends at a playground and ran into one of my ex best friend’s friends from dance class but she and i were both star wars fans so we instantly clicked and started role playing with our self insert jedi characters and she had no clue what we were on about

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yoda telling luke he was the last jedi in the original trilogy never bothered me even knowing there are other jedi bc i understand how movies are made, however i also just assumed yoda looked at the home brew bullshit ezra and kanan did in rebels and was like. no <3

ik in canon he talks to them and approves of them as jedi but personally i like to imagine 900+ year old yoda had his own biases and was like. ‘so glad the values of the jedi continue, i’m sorry but that little homeless boy and 29 year old padawan are not jedi and so i’m not lying to luke lmao’

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I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety

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just saw a Catholic priest tweet out that he “doubts God himself knows who the next pope will be” and i just about broke my phone in half

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My period is about to start, but in totally unrelated news: I hate you and I’m going to kill you

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actually now that i think about it, the only time she really seems to be uncomfortable with matau’s interest is after she’s injured….because it’s serious. we specifically get a mention, the ONLY mention, mind you, that she is specifically trying to avoid him, because he’s hovered over her since she woke up. Which 1. we can hardly blame him, if one of my friends was dying and then was healed on the brink of death I’d probably be weird around them too, & 2. it’s because he was afraid for her and probably wants to reassure himself that she’s alright. And she seems to be uncomfortable with open displays of feeling, at least from him. If it’s a joke she can act like it’s a joke. But if it’s not, it’s not. Even with Vhisola, she didn’t seem offended or scared by Vhisola’s obsession with her, but she also didn’t address it. It seems like Nokama has some sort of problem when it comes to people actively showing genuine feelings for her. She’s an expert in ignoring it. What does this say about her & how she’s handled Metru Nui?

my clown shoes moment

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WHO tf keeping pads with no wings in production?? Put it in your draws and by the time you walk out the bathroom it’s down the street buying scratch offs at the corner store. Like girl

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the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

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deadass if y’all were in the market for a new-to-you car. how would you go about it

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why cant we be normal. why can’t i not care about how my legs look.

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