avadacandelabra

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 6/5/25

I was at Hayley’s wedding, we went on to the dance floor to dance

I had an appt gift get my hair done at like 3pm but I was in 3d just chilling and I didn’t want to go. I was too comfortable. I knew I had to leave at some point but I never did and then it was 3pm and I was still at home. So I called up to post pone it. At first I thought that I could make it later but I remember they closed at 6pm so I would definitely have to cancel. But then I saw they were open from 10am to 4am, which is quite unusual for a hair salon, and I could definitely just make it later. But I was at home enjoying myself and I didn't want to go. I felt bad about the women at the hair salon, I knew they were just waiting for clients.

The roster I saw the second and third weeks had barely any shifts and I didn't care.

[avadacandelabra]

Dreams from 5/5/25

It felt like I was Cinderella about to leave for the ball, about to leave for some party. I was waiting but my brother because he was setting up some kind of mattress for my sister to travel like a princess in her pumpkin carriage or smth but it was taking ages like him. A few dudes were setting it up and I was so impatient I just wanted to leave and then finally it was done , and my dad was waiting out the front and I went to go tell him it looks like they’re satisfied cos I saw them making the final adjustment and about to roll it up .

I also saw like the bed inside a carriage as if was moving and there was a mr and mrs pillow and there was someone sleeping on the Mrs side travelling for the party at the castle. I saw the princess travelling there all bundle up in a clock she was ready

-

I’m at hair for hong shop except it’s been taken over by white ppl although the owner is still there. I walk in without appt and it’s very busy easy seat is full, they let me walk in and I sit then cos they think I have an appt. After awhile I mention I’m a walk in and I would like to get a perm done and they said yes. Then they get the solution ready and the white girl comes I am trying to show her my references photos on insta but they don’t come up. So I explain instead that I’ve had a hippie perm before and it’s grown out and now I want similar except bigger curls and tighter somehow she knew when I wanted. Then I was outside for some reason. And they had put the solution just on my roots and I was waiting. 3 of my hair strands looked really flat like film roll and three little strands at the end. It seemed like an anomaly or a teaching moment. As I was waiting there was an Indian girl who sat with me and I said she looked like the girl from that group there was two of them with brown skin and I said she was the perfect blend of both of them and one of them was like do you want your phone and giggled bc she saw some group names that were cutesy I can tell ppl had been trying to message me

Then I found out that everyone was getting their hair done bc there was going to be some celebration but I felt upset by this somehow bc it’s like I had gone in here seemingly with my free will but that was not the case it felt like something was gonna happen and everyone had just been told to get their hair ready but I felt like a pawn

I saw the pink specials board hang up like a celebration menu and something like one price and an arrow showing it’s cheapest like 6 to 3

-

There was some guy who was obsessed with me or trying to get with me but I wasn’t interested he seemed like my type I kinda thought like why not but then thought maybe some other time but he was gonna move back the America and I knew if I reached out and asked where he was that we would be on different coasts like east coast and west coast

[avadacandelabra]

Dreams from 4/5/25

I was in ur car, except it was Matt’s car and we had parked at Northcote plaza and u got out to talk to Alex and the whole time I was angling my body away trying to make sure he didn’t see me. Then some else saw and an older man who said like that’s it, it’s over for u . Like to me, cos he was gonna get me fired and ruin my life and I felt panicked. I got out and I dk what I was gonna say to him, gr also started walking toward the guy and saying like what did u say to her?

but I wasn’t gonna be defensive, and then in the next breath he totally changed up his tune and was laughing or smth and wasn’t mentioning it anymore and then I was talking to u like we really turned that Around, we did that, we created that

In the night I went to Shannon’s apartment I broke inside idk what I was gonna do exactly like stay there bc I knew they were both overseas but then suddenly the lights turned on and they hadn’t gone yet, they were still at home and I was busted. The gf seemed like not even phased that I was there and then suddenly there was a gathering happening, a party and I could see my bag on top of someone else’s bag and I was panicking trying think of what to say to her, how to explain that I was here since it looked like I was in love with her bf and I didn’t know how to justify myself and then like I guess I was just waiting as the party was happening since she was hosting i took her aside and talked to her and just made up something and she seemed to get it. I felt relieved that I had turned things around. Shannon was there but I didn’t speak or look at him he was just like not really there. And I was looking at her thinking she seems nice and totally get now, why they are together. Then I was gonna leave but someone wanted to get some water and they got it from a fancy vintage looking fridge. Then I left I was walking In the cool night air

[avadacandelabra]

Dreams from 1/5/25

Clea was in my dream I think I was messaging her or no, I was in the same room as her and we were talking about something. She was trying to tell me something serious

There was a customer at work who looked like him and the way he was looking at me..

I called my sister to ask had some random question, which I never do, but my mum answered instead saying she wasn’t there or smth

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 30/4/25

I was in a cafe waiting for my drink . Then I went back there but I had no money to pay although I was just pretending bc I did have a 20$ note in my wallet I just couldnt be bothered. I had decided after all that I didn’t want anything . Nothing was enticing, Before leaving the lady was like my mum misses u like cos she and her mum knew me from being a regular patron or soothing . I smiled my best smile. Then I left and my smile fell flat and the person I was with understood and almost laughed. We were playing pretend. Then we wanted to find someplace else to eat . I said what about that place near east Canterbury station, near my high school, has anyone ever been there? The Mexican place. It has been in the back of mind of me wanting to try, no one really responded.

[avadacandelabra]

Dreams from 29/4/25

I got dressed in the morning, I was going to uni. I was calm and methodical. I knew I was going to drive when I probably don’t usually? I made it there and there was 20 mins left until class starts. I was gonna get out the car and walk to class. I was thinking about finding my car after class finishes. It’ll be fine. I’ll find it. A warning bell went off

-

I was in class doing work. I just got here. I was wondering if I would pass this degree since I hadn’t done all of the work. I hadn’t been attending the classes and I figured I could just make them pass me. But hadn’t I already passed. I was already practising and working as a pharmacist. I was thinking maybe finishing it doesn't matter, but there was this pit in my gut.

There were taking the roll call wondering people's whereabouts, I thought of AJ but his name was never mentioned, nor do I think he was going to come. A female classmate showed up in the exact outfit I was dream that morning that they would be in. Cute overalls.

I hadn’t been to this class in a long time but I was gonna try. I saw Egyptian hieroglyphs on the page and I was interpreting them, the translation just came to mind

-

I was in a doctors clinic and to get an ultrasound on my stomach but was lead to a classroom and the teacher was gonna do it at the same time as teaching her class like behind some furniture and drapings, there was a partition. I went there, although I was hesitant. I felt like I was at uni. Like at that moment when the bell had run I was supposed to be in class and I would to class once I did this.

-

I saw these messages on telegram and got really excited as if someone was posting smth abt the recall but when I went into the chat to look it was blank messages from some random.

-

My head was near GR’s head as if we were both sleeping… I kissed him on the brow. I felt so entwined with him. It’s like I was blending reality with dream like I made it happen, “travelling” to his side and being so close. I knew he was there even though he was asleep.

(it felt like a lover's kiss. when i woke up i had the feeling his energy had been there in the dream and on me)

(there was no intense longing. not like with sm. i already have him. he's there)

[avadacandelabra]

Words come out of my coffin, made of maple. When empty, it will return to the trees who speak to no one.

Victoria Chang, "Lives of the Artists" from The Trees Witness Everything

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 27/4/25

I was getting my nails done I never have but I thought I would treat myself and I wanted to feel good abt myself, try smth different and I went to one place and it was a dude who sighed like he was hoping he wouldn’t be caught out cos he was by himself in the shop and I was there and he looked at my nails and was saying like what would have to be done in each nail like cos my nails are wonky and he started by putting numbing cream on and told me I had to go to the Northcote shop which was a little drive away since he wasn’t gonna do it After all I was trying to get there I went home first and the my sister was there and she has her nails done too and I asked her what I could get as a design and she started saying like basketball teams like there was stick ons she has in her room and she was gonna give them to me but I didn’t want that I wanted smth like had which was whimsical and feminine looking then me her and my mum were on our way to Northcote I had to get there but were we getting lost or something it felt like we were esp while trying to kept the numbing cream solution and plastic on my fingers in place.

then I ended up looking up the time for when it opens on my phone and it said 6pm so there was only an hour left and I felt like what was the point of showing up? They wouldn’t be able to get it done usually nails take many hours. I saw the shop front and the sky getting dark like the sky was setting. I think I was going to postpone to another time

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 26/4/25

I was on a boat and it was fine until there was some massive waves and there were all these injured people I saw some customer Joyce Genis who I told her to go the life boat or something just to walk straight and it’s there and it was only a handful of metres away but who fell and hit her head on the window. She said oh the wind is so strong and I helped her up she said oh no I’m a burden before I only needed a hand on my back and now she needed more help/guidance. I was kind of annoyed since she was an NPC and now I had to look after her kind of thing. I felt kind of calm even though shit was going down. I saw injured ppl in a room and was thinking what if there more injured ppl would they fit in here? There were doctors helping ppl. I wondered if this event was on the news

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 25/4/25

I was in class and my phone on silent and I was thinking should I turn the ding on or off so he can ding at me when he messages, like directly

-

A new roster came out and at first I was wondering if I was working the entire weekend because I wanted to make sure I was with GR, isn’t that only reason I would care and then saw that I barely had any shifts like it was basically bare but I was panicking about that. Like what am I going to do? I felt spiteful like I should pick up something else in 3d to occupy my time, like finally get that nursery job. The roster looked really different like people I didn’t recognise. I think MN and Aggy had normal shifts and Shannon was working like every single day which I felt bad about. And there were new students and there was no room on the roster so the three of them had colour blocked in to accentuate who was on. I has some random shift at Northcote on a Monday like 4-7 or something and I was complaining because I don’t like change and I said to someone, probably Kate, that l would feel lost and I don’t know every customers back story. I kept moaning like I don’t want to go there. Then I decided I should just let it go. Like something will happen and it’ll be fine either MN will rectify it, and I won’t even reach out, or whatever will happen will happen.

And my name has like two columns? One with shifts and one without and it was somebody’s else’s name though similar to mine…

-

I was at the hairdressers and everyone was getting their hair coloured like it was a Korean salon and some chicks has really bright blue hair it was so vivid and vibrant like I could see the backs of heads of like 5 girls getting their hair done. It all looked so perfect. Some girl with really long hair was getting colour on the tips and they had to spread it out over the piano. And I was like what do they do when the hair is super super long, even longer, they must have things for these kind of situations in the back. They have to be prepared.

-

I was at the train station waiting for the train and I was with someone? I got angry or something, like something happened like was it a relationship fight? I just feel this feeling in my chest like I was angry with them, which was separate or maybe the same thing as from the fact that I had been waiting a long time and the train never came. I walked off pissed off. I walked over the train tracks.

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 23/4/25

There was a girl with a kite and she was about to take off with it do a run up and go away but then she turns around and says smth like you never liked me did you? You did a 90 degree personality change or something… like as if her partner never loved her because of her weight, she was a bit chubby… idk was she stalling?

[avadacandelabra]

I was walking away from my primary school and this feeling like I’d never see it again, then it fade to black

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 21/4/25

I was doing the laundry. I wanted to send a message to Clea with my duck cloth but then the machine said it was overflowing like shit was stuck so I forgot about it but then I remembered and went to go deal with it and it was a full load i was trying to take it out to hang it up I though should I run another cycle or not is it truly clean? It’s like it was spiritual and then became NPC task, like I forgot about Clea

[avadacandelabra]

Dream from 20/4/25

I went to see a stage show and it was making me really sad and toward the end there was this scene where a girl was in the audience with 2 older versions of the characters we had just seen, as if it was really them in the audience and she was waiting to grab one of their coats and she did and the entire audience was crying it was so so beautiful so sad and I was so overcome with emotion bc it was just so beautifully tragic that we just die and and over and have beautiful relationships with ppl and gorgeous and so melancholy like 3d is just like this constant of cycle of finding beauty in pain and it was so strong, these feelings. We went to the bathroom after, my friend and I, and went to get some toilet tissue to wipe our tears and there was this one actress and we got her to look in the mirror bc she looked so fresh faced even though she had been crying and I said how do you snap out of it and she said idk I just do. I guess I was having trouble it was so so touching I was so moved this scene really took it out of me and I felt that life is so devastating and there’s no getting around it, it will just keep happening

In that scene, does the old man die? Is that why the girl takes his coat? They had known each other their whole lives and reunited

-

A scene where I am getting ready about to wear my summer school uniform but I am self conscious about the hyperpigmentation of my legs, I could just wear the winter school uniform but it felt too early or too hot for that and stockings are so uncomfortable. I figured I could just wear my socks higher idk why I suddenly cared, I had not cared the whole time and now I do?

[avadacandelabra]

He was in a school uniform dancing

[avadacandelabra]

Dreams from 18/4/25

I was at work and I had to go home to drop my parents off at the bus stop when Kate come into work or was it Sarah and I ran off saying I’ll take this as my lunch break thinking it was 1pm . I had my toothbrush in my hand and my face was unwashed. But I couldn’t find my car I was panicking really hard like I couldn’t let them down and why wasn’t it in the street I parked it in? I checked another street that was a bit further down. I clicked my car keys and there were other Mazda 2s but not mine I kept walking closer and thinking I’d found a grey car that was mine but realising it wasn’t. How could I go down further side street and check? It was getting late. I thought I would have to call my parents and tell them to get an uber but I kept looking. But nothing. It’s like I was having a nightmare then I realised I was having a dream and another way for me to get where I wanted to was wake up in my bed and I could just wake up from it. So I did I forced myself to wake and then appeared back at work and I was explaining what had happened to me like as if it was some magic story and they looked kinda incredulous like they didn’t believe me but that’s cos they’re NPCS and then I realised it was only 9 o clock and I wanted to take my lunch break still.

-

I was with GR we were in bed cuddling or holding hands or something but it’s like there was two of him? And then I saw him at work and had to play pretend like we weren’t that close

[avadacandelabra]

Sylvia Plath, from a letter featured in The Letters of Sylvia Plath Vol. 1: 1940-1956