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Navy: I never wanted children

Purple: Shocker

Navy: Don't speak to your father that way

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Yellow: Purple, I know you like Green. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Yellow: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

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Chosen: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.

Dark: Nat 20 Charmisma.

Chosen: That is NOT how that works-

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Red: [Kicks the door open, looking panicked]

Yellow: What did you do?!

Red: NOBODY DIED

Yellow: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

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Purple: I feel like I’m forgetting something…

Green: Pff, your mental stability?

Purple: No, no... you can’t lose something you never had.

Green: Wait, what-

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Second: Isn’t a bit dangerous?

Green: Second, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.

Second: ...

Green: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.

Second: ...

Green: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home.

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Chosen: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Dark: Burn the house down.

Chosen: And what did you do?

Dark: I made dinner.

Chosen:

Dark:

Chosen:

Dark: And burnt the house down.

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Yellow: Why are your tongues purple?

Green: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Purple: I had a red one.

Yellow: oh

Yellow:

Yellow: OH

Red: You drank each other's slushies?

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Purple: Hey ya’ll. So, I know I’m the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say... I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

The Gang: Agreed.

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Green: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Second: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Green: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

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Yellow: I heard that if you like someone, they will like, brush their knees against yours, or like your arm and stuff.

*Chosen and Dark beating each other up*

Yellow: Those two, those two are gonna get married.

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Yellow: Is it considered cannibalism when you eat a girl out?

Yellow: If all light is just reflection, then are we hallucinating color?

Yellow: If there is space between cells, how come we can't breathe through plastic bags?

Blue: Please go the fuck to sleep

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Dark: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Second: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally killed you.

Dark: Death is a social construct.

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Green: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

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Green: Hey Purple! Nice hair.

Purple (internally): Oh my god, the first piece of positive reinforcement I've received in 6 months. Respond appropriately.

Purple: Thank you, I grew it myself.

Purple (internally): DAMNIT!

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Second: What are your goals?

Red: To pet all the dogs.

Second: No, fitness goals.

Red: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

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Red: Hey, Purple? Can I get some dating advice?

Purple: Just because I’m with Green doesn’t mean I know how I did it.