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caving as an extreme sport is sooo unfathomable to me why are u as a creature of the daylight doing that. were u born without the dread in ur bones or something

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caving as an extreme sport is sooo unfathomable to me why are u as a creature of the daylight doing that. were u born without the dread in ur bones or something

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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL MARKIPLIER

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respectfully sir. What??

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So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

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this feels like a bit. i know it’s not but this is so absurd that it feels like it’s right out of arrested development

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a world without trans people has never existed and never will

prints

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Imagine being on tumblr minding your own business when out of the blue somebody informs you that people like you should all be lined up and shot and that they take active delight in daydreaming about your suffering. And then you check their profile and it's all

"ouuh uoogh aaaagh why am I so lonely, why does nobody like me, why do people bully me by not being cool with me bullying people, it's not fair that people hate me just for being hateful, every morning people form a conga line outside my house and dance around it while waiting for their turn to go inside to fuck my wife. these people that I want dead ruined my life by making everyone else think I'm insane and unhinged for wanting all of them dead. waaah."

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this is basically a short horror film

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would zuko give the blue spirit a full pardon after the war is over or do you think he would mess with everyone and raise the bounty even higher

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types of infused water I’ve been told to make:

hot dog water

pickles

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