avatarofthewhateverthefuck - Tumblr blog

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

every so often i just think about how good it was that the most foolproof one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with basically any horrifyingly evil supernatural monster of the week in the magnus archives was just. burying them in concrete. like yeah i can believe that a few tons of grey brutalist slop would stop the wolfman or pretty much anything in its tracks to be honest. they use that shit on nuclear waste. do you honestly think you're stronger than a nuke? a fucking nuke?

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

Theres a road I pass on my commute called Dead Man's Hole lane. thought you'd appreciate that

dead man's "hole" you say? 🤨🤨👀

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

iron maiden you say? *twirling hair* is she single? *i am quickly whisked away to the execution room*

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

One fun fact about me is that there is a pit in the forest. It is a part of me. I do not know where my reflection ends and I begin and I am so entwined with its murky waters I have begun to wonder if I am human at all, or if I am some creation of mud and wood given life against its will. When I die look for me in the pit. I will be in there, watching you.

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

Ok ok last Desolation thing I promise

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

anyway we dont talk enough about jon baa-ing like a sheep in mag125. cause he was literally just sitting in his office recording a statement and he baa’d exactly like a sheep. and he sounded REAL AS HELL. archivist voice powers must make you insane at making farm animal sounds for like teaching babies like you just know he would tear it up at daycare. this is all right in the middle of everyone thinking he’s turned into an evil monster too but my god did the man commit.

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

can an asexual be a faggot

anyone can be a faggot if they want

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

i do love fucked up eye imagery. too many eyes where they shouldn’t be. no eyes. Things that are not eyes in place of eyes. it is like stained glass. to Me

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives): "Dude got kidnapped like. Five times or something IDK I stopped counting after the clowns showed up."

The Cabbage Seller (Avatar: The Last Airbender): "HIS CABBAGES D'''''':"

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

NO LITTLE GERMAN BOY DON’T GO INTO THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

the strange and charming transsexuals and i saw you from across the bar and we were wondering if you wanted to go to the creekbed to look for brachiopod fossils together

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

The very last part of "I guess intimate facts about you and your life based on what entity you wish to consume you the most!", oh what a journey we've been on!

Our last contestant, a long-awaited guest: The Web!

You want to be in control, obviously

Not that great of a childhood (again, obviously)

Mom friend (not in the stereotypical way, don't get me confused)

You’re not talk-active, but always listening

You memorize everyone’s schedule

You’re also a therapist friend, but only to gently nudge people in the “right direction” (this also applies to distant aquaintances. You're one of those people in women's toilets from the movies always ready to talk with the heroine)

Either you have a foot in almost every friend group or your friends with the same people as in elementary school

Not a lot of people know what you’re actual intentions are, and you would prefer to keep it that way

I have the feeling you like fairy grunge

You don't enjoy spiders, but spider imagery is very neat

You're favourite fake lost tv show is Candle Cove

You dislike overly involved villains

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

It's time for the second-to-last episode of what I like to call: "I guess intimate facts about you and your life based on what entity you wish to consume you the most!"

I just know realized the name of my series is actual gibberish, oops I guess?

Today: The Vast!

You definitely like(d) that one “Do you like the colour of the sky?” post

You’ve always been drawn to extreme conditions in nature, like the Antarctica or the deep sea

The cold never bothered you anyway

You like aquariums, specifically those with larger fish in them.

You have no/very few friends, although everyone likes you

You have a cruel sense of humour

You’re an adrenaline junky (obviously)

I feel like you have a very long bucket list

You like white clothing, plus you have a killer sense of style

The dragon you wanted to tame the most in HTTYD came from the tidal class

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

How the fuck is the post about the stranger so accurate to me? It's not even my top entity. It's my second one.

Just working my magic :)

Feel free to claim my skin as a suit if you change your mind on who you're slaving yourself to :)

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

We're almost done with my little series, so let me hear it for "I guess intimate facts about you and your life based on what entity you wish to consume you the most!"

Today's delight: The Stranger!

You’ve been ostracized for being “different” for so long that you started embracing it just to piss off people

You apologize to inanimate objects

You’d enjoy Nikolai Gogol

You are a theatre kid

You have a very specific music taste

You surround yourself with people just like you, though your friend group is ever shifting and you can’t really hold on to anyone for long.

You enjoy sculpting (either intentionally ugly things or masterpieces)

Completely abandoning everything and taking on a different identity seems to be the solution to all your problems

You can turn off all facial expression on command (and it's something you used to be/are upset about)

[avatarofthewhateverthefuck]

Seasonal greetings once again! I am hear to guess intimate facts about you and your life based on what entity you wish to consume you the most! You're in for a treat with this one :)

Today: The Spiral!

You find Michael very relatable

Killer fashion taste

You’re favourite Lemon Demon songs are the vaguely obscure ones

You’re strangest addiction is walking through empty hallways, literally. You go out of your way to pass through them. The slight edge of fear is the best part

You’re obsessed with drawing the same characters over and over again

You obsessively doodle when you’re stressed

As a kid, you’d always colour things in neon marker or an unsettling combination of regular colours and neon

You are obsessed with visual deceptions and/or magic tricks

Being into Dreamcore isn’t really a personality trait, is it?

You really like the weird Microsoft Word fonts elementary teachers use

When you draw/paint, you really struggle with making neat line art (or you’re a line art god)

Small games can entertain you for hours (for example, playing tic-tac-toe for days on end, knowing all the outcome-patterns by heart)