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Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Scripted Redemption Bracket — Round 6.5

Propaganda

Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion) (Boba Count: 2 and 3 shared):

#madge propaganda time : #she will flirt with basically any girl she sees and oh she does it so well #also !!! she once flirted and got on with technically an enemy in the middle of a spying mission ???? #she went like 'oh sorry just gotta go to the loo' to go spy in the house got caught and flirted so well she 1/ got laid 2/ got information #3/ came back like nothing happened #with some motivation she could flirt and get a boner from a dead rock tbh #madge stallion IS THE SEXIEST

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats) (Boba Count: 2 and 3 shared):

Amazing character arc/growth; shadows follow her around; afraid of the sun; methanol is her drink of choice; is often told “I thought you were dead” despite a complete lack of evidence other than her deathly paleness; the morgue is her personal sanctuary; absolutely hilarious character; demanded to be co-owner of Funn Funerals with her brother rather than allowing him to continue running the business alone;(spoiler) decided NOT to get with her frenemy who she had been doing a will-they-won’t-they thing with the entire series!; writes smut in her free time

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359) (Boba Count: 1 and 2 shared):

MINKOWSKI DID NOT METALBGEAR SOLID HER WAY THROUGH A DERILECT SPACESHIP TO FIGHT A SENTIENT PLANT MONSTER FOR THIS

ADDITIONALLY, MINKOWSKI DID NOT KILL THE *NIGH-IMMORTAL BIG BAD OF THE WHOLE SERIES* WHO REPRESENTS CAPITALISM GONE AWRY WITH THE SAME HARPOON SHE HUNTED THE SENTIENT PLANT MONSTER WITH FOR THIS!!!

All three of them:

VOTE FOR MINKOWSKI AND CO.

John Doe (Malevolent) (Boba Count: 1):

John needs this win

Let's gooooooooo, Malevolent!

GUYS VOTE JOHN. THE RAT MAN'S GOTTA LIVE

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD 🤤

Vote John Doe! World’s worst husband (affectionate)! He deserves a win

Mod Note: Some of the propaganda refers to John Doe as a "trans icon" which I assume is linguistically derived from the term "gay icon" which frequently refers to celebrities who are not gay themselves.

Art of Madge Stallion, Antigone Funn, and Renée Minkowski generously illustrated by @acornzest.

Additional propaganda below the cut:

Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion):

Madge Stallion was submitted without propaganda.

we gotta get our girl some propaganda. she would hate it, but the mystery of it all is kinda part of the appeal here.

Madge stallion NEEDS no propaganda

Madge: so sexy she needs no propaganda

#madge stallion is a great woman to lose to

#Madge she's a sassy lesbian detective what else do you want

#madge stallion needs no propaganda #by virtue of being madge

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

Raging lesbian in a lavender marriage

Seduced someone working for the enemy

Is just as chaotic and at time brain cell-less as her male companions

Loyal but still willing to call her friend since childhood out on his bullshit

She canonically fucks. Like in canon she fucks so much. See above about seducing the enemy and then pepper in her on again off again romance with Martha Hudson.

This is the woman who always has anything you might need in her bustle. Portable phonographs, certainly, but what else? Alcohol, without doubt. Knives? Probably. More knives? Wouldn't be surprised. Candy? Always good to have something to mollify Hampton with. More alcohol? Well, James can always do with a little nip. Another knife? Why not? Lockpick set? I mean, where do you keep yours?

Madge propaganda from a show that had the pleasure of guesting with her! At the end of the day no matter how you squeeze or present it, a great character is a great character and Madge is the best by a mile. Wonderful one-liners, complex and layered relationships with everyone in the cast around her, a messy and real depiction of female sexuality (especially a lesbian!) that she is never punished or demeaned for, and all of this brought to life in a performance that could make a phone book fun. Look and you’ll see: Madge’s writing and acting speaks for itself!

Everyone messaging us “please let Madge kiss [redacted]” we will remember your support during this difficult time should this go our way

Madge is literally THE BEST EVER

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):

What on earth could possibly be sexier than being presumed dead by the village she lives in at large. She genuinely cares about funerals as an art form, she puts so much care into her work. Possibly bisexual if that helps. Ghost wrote a wildly popular erotic novel with the help of village’s reverend. Come on just please vote for Antigone I’m so very sleepy and I can’t think of more reasons but I promise they’re there

#antigone!!!!!!!!! #i just need one chance with her #she's perfect

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

I'm voting for Antigone not because she's sexier (she is) but because she needs at least One Win in her life. #girl failure solidarity

1. she is very sexy. We know she's deathly pale, she's described as transparent more than once as well as green and blue-skinned, she's 35~38 depending on what season you're listening to. She's allergic to like everything.

Her hair is canonically always a mess and she uses it to hold on to bones and things she's gonna need later. She wears the same dress every day (it has a hole in it)

She's one with the shadows and can blend in with her surroundings to a supernatural degree.

2. She is rough and socially inept and artistic and the most passionate person you can imagine. She puts her heart and soul into her work as a mortician, SHE CREATES PERSONALIZED EMBALMING FLUIDS TO MAKE THE CORPSES SMELL NICE and she WILL tell you about it.

She is somehow always angry or flustered about something and she will pull victorian era phrases you cannot imagine. She's been saying Christ Alive since before it was cool.

3. SHE LOVES SEXY THINGS!! she is the most fitting for this tournament cause she's the queen of learning to accept her desires!! She loves old french films and their weirdly shot sex scenes, she's canonically really good at writing erotica and likes to read it too. There's a whole episode dedicated to her conquering her fears and appearing on a naked calendar. Also we hear glimpses of her fantasies and she wants to tie up and dom the guy she likes so there's that too I guess.

She spent 17 years locked in her mortuary cause she was sad. SHE WANTED TO BECOME A CLOWN AS A KID. She is everything to me and I love juno very much but she is sexier and deserves to be known that way. VOTE ANTIGONE

Antigone's mess might be an acquired taste, but I think it's a deeply attractive mess.

SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH A BLOND GUY ONCE SHE EARNED HER REST

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

the most badass commander there is. she spent a week hunting a plant monster living on the air ducts of her station with a goddamn harpoon. she managed to keep her people alive and get them home. she managed to keep Eiffel alive for like five years and for that alone she deserves a fucking medal

She did not just spend one week hunting the plant monster, she spent TWO WEEKS hunting the plant monster. Later on, she used the very same harpoon to murder an evil capitalist WHILE SHE HAD A BULLET IN HER CHEST.

She's haunted by the memory of the first time she took a life, and what's sexier than a character with regrets?

She works out. Muscle women. Enough said.

She's devoted to protecting her crew above all else, and despite her self-doubt, she's REALLY damn good at it.

She's a theater kid! She loves musicals! She writes showtunes! Sondheim is her favorite composer!

She Russian-Roulettes a guy into not blowing up her ship, and does such a good job of it that he never even realizes there aren't any bullets in her gun.

She's been trapped in a time loop, possibly multiple times.

She's the best character in all of audio drama, I love her, she's beautiful, she's sexy, and she deserves every vote.

#minkowski my beloved. love of my life. other half of my heart. sexiest woman in podcast ever. i love her

#MINKOWSKI!!!!!! #i love her sooo much fun fact

#my girl! my favorite girl! she won! #let's keep this energy going everyone!

I don't really remember anything about Wolf 359 since I only listened to a few episodes so I'm throwing my lot in with whoever has the most compelling/funniest propaganda. I think this would be funny and I commit to nothing if not the bit

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

But. MINKOWSKI. Please read all that Minkowski propaganda I wrote and then consider voting for her. She's the love of my life and THE sexiest podcast woman, bar none.

Please. I beg of you. Read all the propaganda I wrote, and then vote Minkowski. If you're still not convinced:

She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and a huge part of her arc is about feeling like she had to hide her identity and prove herself to make it in the US. When she lets her accent slip out in episode 52, it's the sexiest thing to ever happen.

She has the entire rule book for her space mission memorized so she can better take care of her ship.

She talks to ghosts on multiple occasions.

She has a gay little dynamic with the 2024 sexiest podcast character, Isabel Lovelace.

She expertly navigates multiple hostage situations.

Along with musicals, she's ALSO really into Sylvia Plath.

She lives under a rock and does not know anything about pop culture, which is adorable.

She writes show tunes!

vote Minkowski. I am not asking. do it.

Minkowski has ALWAYS been great

MINKOWSKI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO MINKOWSKI! YOU CAN DO IT!

All three of them:

#madge #antigone #renee #THREE WAY ALL DAY #keep it tied!!!

I’m so sorry @sexiestpodcastcharacter but the funniest possible outcome is another tie and we are a comedy…

As Minkowski's #1 fan and a firm believer that gay sex would fix her, I am entirely pro-another tie. Minkowski's losing 55-45 right now- vote for her!

#EVERY #BODY #WINS!!!!

John Doe (Malevolent):

A fragment of the Eldritch Deity that has gained independence, attached to possibly the world's most pathetic man. Also have you heard his voice

JOHNNN, JOHN I BELIEVE IN YOU

Gonna need everyone to vote for John plz

Don't let John down, he needs a win, he's had a miserable time lately : (

his voice is jsut. really good

sorry but queer rumbling voice John Doe is too powerful to not vote for here. Also no one in canon will tell him this and he deserves to know.

ok but the way John Doe said labrynthine

If John wins I'll write him kissing Noel

Trans Icon

LISTEN TO HIS VOICE

Threatens to disembowl anyone who hurts the person he loves

Once tried to kill a priest for making goo goo eyes at his man

Was an evil warlord turned soft poetry lover

Can still throw hands when needed

Clever as fuck

Wants to see a movie SO BAD

Memorizes poems just for his wet cat -V protective of his wet cat partner

Crew we can't let trans icon movie lover, most jealous husband in the universe John Doe lose...

If John wins I'll cosplay him again

Vote John!! he's everything. eldritch god, in a codependent relationship with a feral cat of a man, nice voice, he even likes poetry

I've actually nutted to John's voice before. /hj

like this isn't even his full power s2 voice but mannnnn he sounds so hungry and feral for Arthur all the time...

ASSEMBLING THE MALEVOLENT CROWD. POOKIES FOLLOW YOUR DUTY AND HELP THIS MISERABLE MAN OUT!!!!

do NOT let my glorious goat LOSE!!!!

hey all my mutuals, do some work for your favorite yellow boy

Guys vote John Doe as sexiest podcast character please he deserves this 🙏

VOTE JOHN DOE EVERYONE!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!! MY BELOVED YELLOW GLOWING EYE CREATURE!!! HE CERTAINLY DESERVES YOUR VOTE !

PLEASEEEE VOTE FOR JOHN😭😭😭 he’s so GODDDD HES AN ELDRITCH GOD THAT JUST WANTS LOVE😭😭 (if you know me PLEASE VOTE FOR JOHN I KNOW YOU DONT KNOW HIM BUT PLEASEEEE HES PERFECTTTT!!! And also listen to Malevolent 🤩)

(vote John tho, he's such a baby, you wouldn't hurt a baby!)

i wasnt gonna say anything and just see how it turns out but PLEASEEEE VOTE FOR JOHN PLEASE MY POOKIE💔💔💔💔💔FAVOURITEST GUY EVER HIS VOICE IS SO NICE PLEASE PLEASE💔💔

Let’s not let this trans icon down guys. He didn’t fight to be who he decides for nothing. And that is the sexiest thing imaginable.

John was absolutely an eldritch nightmare BUT is literally getting better and learning empathy and consent which is very sexy

Hello my friends and random people in my phone. Please consider voting John Doe for Sexiest Podcast Character. He is barely beating Helen Distortion and eyes are so much cooler than spirals. John deserves one (1) nice thing and if that nice thing is being voted the Sexiest Podcast Character of 2024, who am I to deny that to him? Who are we to deny that to him? Use your voice, tumblr. Vote for John.

The one who’s changing and growing, powerful and terrifying but can be tender and good, capable of mind-fuckery but instead trying to be a better being and make up for thousands of years of terrible choices

John's entire identity is about defying the rules you were forced into at birth, and deciding you can be whoever you decide. And nothing is sexier than that.

Hello, we the good people at John's campaign headquarters, come to you with a very special message about our candidate and why he deserves your vote with a compilation of his best hits.

A vote for John is a vote for justice. And being your true self. And choosing your own name. And being really really cool.

VOTE JOHN PLZZ KING DESERVES IT

PLEASE ONCE AGAIN I BEG EVERYONE TO VOTE JOHN DOE

Mutuals, friends, family you know what to do,

Im pissed it was originally just yk what to do but somone rebloged it with anti john propaganda....

So please vote John Doe

Please please please vote for John people!!!!

It's his birthday 🥺🥺

VOTE JOHN ITS HIS BIRTHDAY

Hello everyone, PLEASE REMEMBER OUT TRANS ICON JOHN DOE OUR KING OF KINGS <3

Character growth is sexy

youtube

John Propaganda video by @lunaescribe and @rotflea.

JOHNDOE2025 video by @curbledmiilk.

John Doe Acceptance speech by @malevolentcast.

#POLYCULE SWEEP

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average-acorn · 17 hours ago

Text

Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Scripted Redemption Bracket — Round 6

Propaganda

Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion) (Boba Count: 2 and 2 shared):

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats) (Boba Count: 2 and 2 shared):

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359) (Boba Count: 1 and 1 shared):

All three of them:

#madge #antigone #renee #THREE WAY ALL DAY #keep it tied!!!

I’m so sorry @sexiestpodcastcharacter but the funniest possible outcome is another tie and we are a comedy…

As Minkowski's #1 fan and a firm believer that gay sex would fix her, I am entirely pro-another tie. Minkowski's losing 55-45 right now- vote for her!

#EVERY #BODY #WINS!!!!

Helen Distortion (The Magnus Archives) (Boba Count: 4):

hello dear psionic warriors. helen distortion is the epitome of gleeful evil. her role in the narrative is not to tempt the main character into becoming a monster but to expose how similar they are when you strip away his terror and guilt: to show that just like her, part of him likes to hurt people. helen distortion is a normal-looking woman who is actually a maze of impossible corridors who is actually every single door in the world. helen distortion is "an embodiment of the fear of lies and delusion." helen distortion admits she used to feel guilt about her victims but realized she wasn't going to stop, so she turned off the guilt instead. helen distortion is quite frankly The Worst. please vote for her she is everything to me

Art of Madge Stallion and Antigone Funn with thanks to @acornzest.

Additional propaganda below the cut:

Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion):

Madge Stallion was submitted without propaganda.

we gotta get our girl some propaganda. she would hate it, but the mystery of it all is kinda part of the appeal here.

Madge stallion NEEDS no propaganda

Madge: so sexy she needs no propaganda

#madge stallion is a great woman to lose to

#Madge she's a sassy lesbian detective what else do you want

#madge stallion needs no propaganda #by virtue of being madge

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

Raging lesbian in a lavender marriage

Seduced someone working for the enemy

Is just as chaotic and at time brain cell-less as her male companions

Loyal but still willing to call her friend since childhood out on his bullshit

She canonically fucks. Like in canon she fucks so much. See above about seducing the enemy and then pepper in her on again off again romance with Martha Hudson.

Everyone messaging us “please let Madge kiss [redacted]” we will remember your support during this difficult time should this go our way

Madge is literally THE BEST EVER

Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):

#antigone!!!!!!!!! #i just need one chance with her #she's perfect

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

I'm voting for Antigone not because she's sexier (she is) but because she needs at least One Win in her life. #girl failure solidarity

Her hair is canonically always a mess and she uses it to hold on to bones and things she's gonna need later. She wears the same dress every day (it has a hole in it)

She's one with the shadows and can blend in with her surroundings to a supernatural degree.

She is somehow always angry or flustered about something and she will pull victorian era phrases you cannot imagine. She's been saying Christ Alive since before it was cool.

Antigone's mess might be an acquired taste, but I think it's a deeply attractive mess.

SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH A BLOND GUY ONCE SHE EARNED HER REST

Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):

She's haunted by the memory of the first time she took a life, and what's sexier than a character with regrets?

She works out. Muscle women. Enough said.

She's devoted to protecting her crew above all else, and despite her self-doubt, she's REALLY damn good at it.

She's a theater kid! She loves musicals! She writes showtunes! Sondheim is her favorite composer!

She Russian-Roulettes a guy into not blowing up her ship, and does such a good job of it that he never even realizes there aren't any bullets in her gun.

She's been trapped in a time loop, possibly multiple times.

She's the best character in all of audio drama, I love her, she's beautiful, she's sexy, and she deserves every vote.

#minkowski my beloved. love of my life. other half of my heart. sexiest woman in podcast ever. i love her

#MINKOWSKI!!!!!! #i love her sooo much fun fact

#my girl! my favorite girl! she won! #let's keep this energy going everyone!

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

But. MINKOWSKI. Please read all that Minkowski propaganda I wrote and then consider voting for her. She's the love of my life and THE sexiest podcast woman, bar none.

Please. I beg of you. Read all the propaganda I wrote, and then vote Minkowski. If you're still not convinced:

She has the entire rule book for her space mission memorized so she can better take care of her ship.

She talks to ghosts on multiple occasions.

She has a gay little dynamic with the 2024 sexiest podcast character, Isabel Lovelace.

She expertly navigates multiple hostage situations.

Along with musicals, she's ALSO really into Sylvia Plath.

She lives under a rock and does not know anything about pop culture, which is adorable.

She writes show tunes!

vote Minkowski. I am not asking. do it.

Minkowski has ALWAYS been great

MINKOWSKI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO MINKOWSKI! YOU CAN DO IT!

Helen Distortion (The Magnus Archives):

is she an eldritch horror? yes. but you know what? who isnt in this podded cast. anyways vote helen for sexiest podcast character 2024👍

Helen was also a business woman

#and a tory 🤮

#<- (not to be mean) erm aktutaly 🤓☝️ that was helen richardson and while helen richardson is a part pf helen distortion they are- #-not the same #🤓☝️ #-signed. a certified helen enjoyer

PLEASE PLEASE MY WIFE. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE I LOVE HER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. is she an eldritch horror? yes. but you know what? who isnt in this podded cast. anyways vote helen for sexiest podcast character 2024👍

i jusr.,,,.,,. i thinj shes very awsoem,,,.,..,., i shes so cool,,.,.,….,..,,,…, thinj i hauve covid,,,…,..,..,…..,.,.,,,.,,..

#and a tory 🤮#<= too true actually

This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.

She Was NOT [a Tory]. STOP SPREADING PROPAGANDA YOU HATERS

VOTE FOR WOMAN SHE IS FAR BETTER

don’t get me wrong i love John but anyone who doesn’t vote for Helen is just objectively wrong

NONONO HELEN SWEEP PLEASE PLEASE SHES KIND OF A WOMEN DONT WE LOVE WOMEN WOMEN GUYS FEMINISM

HELEN IS HOTTER HELEN IS SOOOO HOT THEEE HOTTEST

A vote for Helen is a vote for women everywhere

I LOVE YOU HELEN HELEN I LOVE YOU

HELEN SWEETHEART IM MEETING YOU IN THE SEMI ABANDONED MALL AND WERE GETTING BOBA TOGETHER

wife wait for me..... semi-abandoned mall is not far.....

Guys I love john sm but I want to fuck helen so bad like shes my wife god WOULD WOULD WOULD WOULD WOULD WOULD vote helen pls plspslpsls

helen propaganda: what else do those stretched out fingers do 👀

#OH SHIT 15 MINS LEFT.#i had. forgot this was happening #the girls are in the lead yeeeaaah <3

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