averagefruittt - Tumblr blog

[averagefruittt]

when I think about all of the things that I’ve gone through and  realize that I’ve really let one person reduce me to neediness and insecurity. giving chances to someone who’s never sorry.  expecting you to want to understand. waiting and praying for you to care. waiting and praying for the old you. the one I thought I couldn’t live without. what a joke.  

as unhappy as I feel, I just can’t cry anymore. or harbor malice. if anything it’s a lesson that I’ve avoided learning over and over this year. hardly anyone deserves my all. you definitely didn’t. 

[averagefruittt]

it’s like my forehead says ‘take4granite’

[averagefruittt]

I’m scared of becoming someone who turns to God when I have nothing 

[averagefruittt]

“My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line.”

C.S. Lewis-Mere Christianity 

[averagefruittt]

Going back through Mere Christianity 

[averagefruittt]

when you start breaking out, get scammed, struggling to get into your dream school, have no friends, have no job and the loyl hates you :) 

[averagefruittt]

gotta have love right?

[averagefruittt]

happy tomes

[averagefruittt]

[averagefruittt]

[averagefruittt]

🤕💕

[averagefruittt]

realizing how big of a bitch I’ve been to someone so patient, smart, and cool. everything i’m not basically. s/o to my mce 

[averagefruittt]

fat nigga szn is cancelled 

[averagefruittt]

tired

 of being the type of person that I am. I want to give myself to someone/something actually important 

[averagefruittt]

Future

Thinking about my future and how unprepared and nervous I am for it. But also realizing how no one is ever "prepared" for most outcomes in life. Thinking about all the cool scary and amazing things I've gone through with no formal "preparation" and yet here I stand. We think of the future as some abstract distant place in time. The future is everyday. Every moment thus forward. No matter what I achieve or fail to accomplish right now each new day is a blessing. Because it is another chance.

[averagefruittt]

still praying for you 

[averagefruittt]

just remembered how my week started and watching how God turned it around completely. my heart is full