avidbalatroenjoyer

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

I need to keep this on hand!!

Start an Inspiration Journal

If you’re facing the blank page day in day out without any other source, you’re truly making this whole writing thing much harder on yourself. I would know, I was you up until like a week ago.

I’ve been thinking a lot on wanting to improve my writing and that my manuscript is just not quite hitting the mark for what I want it to sound like yet. So, I needed a place to gather lines and passages and books that were hitting that mark. Stuff that I wanted my own writing to sound like one day. A place where I could really unpack it, pick it apart, and see how it ticked.

But there’s another category of stuff I wanted to track—the stuff that makes me feel inspired to write. Whether it’s a movie, a photo, an article, a blog post, or even something random like a smell or a taste or a concept, having a place to go when I should be writing but can’t seem to muster up the courage to do it, I thought would be helpful.

Lastly, I added one more piece to my document—a place to keep all the positive feedback and comments I have ever received on my work. A place specifically for when I’m in the dumps and need a pick me up.

Thus, my inspiration journal was born.

Depending on what I need, I go to a certain section before I start writing anything. Even if it’s just a reminder of the kind of tone or rhythm I’m going for when I’m writing, a quick look sets my brain in the right mode to achieve what I’m trying to.

I think I’ll also start adding all my unrelated, random ideas to the journal as well. One day, when I’m finished with what I’m working on now, I might use it to jump into a new project.

Lastly, I think it’s really helpful to start every writing session with a warm-up of some kind. Even if it’s a few sentences, getting those vibes in your head down onto the page before you start working on your manuscript helps the words come a lot easier.

All this to say is that writing is an art, it’s a practice, it isn’t something you can just conjure at the ends of your fingertips from nothing. Don’t try doing it with your hands tied behind your back and blindfolded, you can use sources and inspiration and practice rounds to get going.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Psst... Did you know I launched a website?)

Head on over to www.gatesannai.com (or click here!) for exclusive blog posts, updates on my work, and pictures of my dog.

While you're there, consider signing up for my newsletter too :-)

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

I didn’t think the eyes could get any bigger

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

RESIDENT EVIL 9 RELEASING FEB NEXT YEAR EVERYBODY SHOUT IT FROM THE FUCKING ROOFTOPS AHHHHH CAPCOM AND SGF YOU FUCKING TEASES

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Why am I society’s villain?

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Does ANYONE have ANY clue how LONELY I feel, when people ONLY CARE about you when you’re SOBER? No-one wants to HELP someone who’s STRUGGLING to the MAX if they’re not READY to get BETTER.

Or is that just me?

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

yuri

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Tools of Self-Destruction

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Turned out it is actually epilepsy LMAO

Dude had to go back on himself and say hey yeah actually you were right, you do have epilepsy

Oh with the added joy of being photosensitive x

I had my first neurology appointment yesterday for the jerks I’ve been experiencing ✨all my life✨. Dude told me “it’s probably your mental health”.

Because of course it is. Why would there actually be something wrong if it can so easily be explained away by mental health? I’m adamant it’s not, my mum and fiancé are adamant it’s not, even my mother-in-law is adamant it’s not. Can a medical professional believe me PLEASE.

He ordered me an EEG and a head scan anyway, but I’ll be waiting another three months for it

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Hell House LLC — 2015, dir. Stephen Cognetti

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

I had my first neurology appointment yesterday for the jerks I’ve been experiencing ✨all my life✨. Dude told me “it’s probably your mental health”.

Because of course it is. Why would there actually be something wrong if it can so easily be explained away by mental health? I’m adamant it’s not, my mum and fiancé are adamant it’s not, even my mother-in-law is adamant it’s not. Can a medical professional believe me PLEASE.

He ordered me an EEG and a head scan anyway, but I’ll be waiting another three months for it

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

I wish people would grow the fuck up and shut the fuck up.

End of statement.

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

I’ve never felt more inadequate as a poet than I do right now trying to write about my grief. I can’t do her justice in my words. Everything sounds so clunky and jumbled when all I have in my heart is emotion that wants to flood onto the page but can’t.

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

viktor arcane has to be one of the characters ever.

he's gay. he's terminally ill. he's suicidal. he's from league of legends. he's in a toxic relationship with an orb. he also might be the orb(???). he bullshitted his way into the academy by pretending he went there. he rizzed up a guy so he wouldn't kill himself. he then tried to impress said guy by breaking into his boss's lab. then when he got caught he tried to play it off by saying he thought this big intimidating door was his bedroom door and he was just trying to sneak a guy in there. he nearly died because hetero sex was happening like a mile away. kinda. he took illegal drugs. he's also the apprentice of the guy who's making the illegal drugs and never mentions it. he's inspired off of the tale of frankenstein's monster. he got shot by a missle and fucking died. when he came back to life he immediately broke up his messy gay situationship and became jesus fucking christ.

truly one of the characters of all time

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

ARCANE 1.07 || 2.07

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Truer words were never spoken!

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

I went to my first ever AA meeting a couple of days ago. They gave me the 24 hour chip. Less than 24 hours later I was buying and drinking alcohol again. The meeting was more helpful than I thought it’d be, and I’m definitely going back, but I don’t know if I’m ready to just… quit. I want to, drinking is ruining my life right now and I don’t want to scare people anymore but how am I supposed to just

not

drink?

I’m already thinking about drinking later. I know I need the willpower to not but I don’t have the tools yet. I don’t know what I’m doing.

I feel like a failure.

[avidbalatroenjoyer]

Thank you, I haven’t had a cluster since the one last year thankfully, but if I get one again I’ll be sure to lie down! My appointment with neurology isn’t for another five months so I’m stressing about whether they’re seizures or not and if they’re going to get any worse.

I really appreciate everyone who likes, reblogs, and offers me advice!! Thank you all <3

I need some advice on whether I’m having myoclonic seizures. (I am waiting for a doctor’s appointment but I just really want to know what’s going on.)

I have these full body jolts/glitches sometimes, have done for as long as I can remember. I can go days and even weeks without one and most of the time they’re isolated, although I did have a cluster of them last year which resulted in me throwing my phone and dropping a fork. I get confused and disoriented for a few seconds after each one and when I had the cluster I found it difficult to walk for a few minutes afterwards.

I don’t have any other types of “seizures” (in quotations because I don’t know if they’re seizures yet). I don’t really have auras either? When I had my cluster I could kind of tell if I was going to jerk again but when they’re isolated I can’t.

Please, I could really use some advice on this. From what I’ve seen of myoclonic seizures it looks like what I’m experiencing and I’m concerned.

The tags below are NOT me self diagnosing, it’s so people who experience seizures can see my post and offer any insight if they would like to.