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I get why people always want to go back to their high school time. Because even though you are behind your friends in terms of academics at least everyone is in the same path with you.

I just met with my uni friends, one of them already married and have one kid. Another one live in different cities with us. Another one work her ass off but I’m sure the paid is also worth it.

Compared to other group of friends, them are not that complete opposite with me. But just from the three of them, I can already understand that people are walking on their on path now.

It’s fascinating how our annual meet like this always broadens my perspective. I’ve live the same repetitive live, met the same co-workers 5 days a week with similar thought. I wish I can meet my other group of friends every week so I won’t live in my small bubble for too long.

I do feel kinda sad? not because I compared my life with them but by the fact that I don’t really know what I want. That itself already depressing because I don’t know I want to pursue in this life.

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O Allah, forgive me all my sins, small and great, first and last, open and secret.

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‎Ibn Al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

‎“Everything around you is a witness for you, when you engage in the remembrance of Allah. The land, the mountains and the ground will testify for you on the day of judgment. Increase those witnesses for yourself for that day”

‎[الوابل الصيب - ٨١]

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anyways i just want to be loved

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فادعُ لي إِنْ ذَكرتَني ، وَأدعو لكَ إنْ ذَكرتُك ؛ فنكون كأنَّا التقينا وَإِنْ لَمْ نَلتقِ.

Pray for me when you think of me, and I pray for you when I think of you, so it's as if we have met even if we didn't.

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O Allāh! Cover my errors and reassure me in times of difficulty.

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Never regret having a good heart cuz all them good things gon come back and multiply.

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As soon as you realise that everything, truly, is controlled by Allah you will be happier.

You need to internalise it. Every little thing is controlled by Allah so if something goes wrong, something will go right-

and if you’re sad today, tomorrow you will be happier

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When things get to a point that is almost unbearable, remember that first step into Jannah .

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The last time I wrote here was last year and so many things has change ever since. The world is slowly healing I guess as corona is not scarier as before but what’s scarier now is the upcoming inflation. But hopefully it won’t happen.

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Ibn Al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

Whoever increases in worry and sadness must recite;

La Hawla Walaa Quwwata Ilaa Billaah

[Zaad al-Ma'ad 4/183]

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