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Lizardfolk merchant NPC who, if offered a good enough trade deal, will sell his own tail as an edible health-restoring item.

"Eh, it grows back anyway", he says afterward

­This is a central part of the Lizardfolk economy.

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Modern AU where all of the Sith that are obsessed with Obi-Wan are his cats.

Maul is a street cat that hates EVERYONE and bites a lot and people keep begging Obi-Wan to get rid of him for his own safety.

Dooku is an old-as-balls purebred that used to do show competitions. Very refined, but does occasionally get into fights with Anakin.

Anakin was a kitten with Qui-Gon, who died, so Obi-Wan inherited an adorable ball of fluff that kept escaping and one day had a fight that really fucked him up and now he runs hot and cold and Obi-Wan struggles to figure out how to help (you can't communicate 'this is why I kept telling you to stay inside' to a cat, they don't know most English).

Asajj came to him via cat-sitting; her owner (Ky Narec) died and Obi-Wan was just like Whelp. Mine now.

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When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

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When the inspiration finally hits.

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This gotta be the funniest Enterprise-Klingon exchange ever:

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"And all of this without even an appreciative audience!"

...spoken while staring *directly* at the fourth wall. XD

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no possible caption would make this funnier than it already is

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You can form a casual insult towards anyone from anywhere in the world with the simple formula of:

"Your [family member] eats [local traditional food] with [controversial sauce/utensil]."

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hmmm… Leia Organa from the Alderaan system, Luke Skywalker, and Han?

Star Wars has three types of guy: Fump Geezgo from the Womflee system, Stabba Badguyman, and Chris

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I had to wait a whole year to post this 😂

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I think it's really funny that reading the discworld witch books (at least the ones that are Weatherwax+Ogg+Magrat), Granny immediately seems like the scariest one by far. She seems like a terrifying force of nature accompanied by a jovial old grandma and an insecure young woman. But as the series progress, the times when Granny holds back and Nanny and Magrat jovially engage in brutal physical violence add up. Now I'm not saying you *shouldn't* be scared of Granny, I'm just saying that she has a rather strong conscience in her way, whereas Magrat and Nanny will both sucker punch you, kick you between the legs and happily step over your groaning body. Granny is to be feared, but Nanny doesn't fight fair and Magrat will kill a motherfucker. Terry Pratchett really knew how to write female characters.

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10/10 dad joke

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cardinal miette, her ballot ready to cast: you CHASE miette? you chase her like the thrown stick or bouncy ball? oh! oh! World’s Top Cat-holic status for doggie! World’s Top Cat-holic st— uh oh

why don’t they make a baby pope.

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is this anything?

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The Lord of the Rings movies did Denethor, Steward of Gondor dirty in their depiction of his competency in rule, eg, in the films he refused to send to Rohan for aid and it was up to Pippin, directed by Gandalf, to light the first of a series of watchfires connecting the countries; whereas in the books, Denethor has already sent a messenger to Theoden by the time Pippin & Gandalf arrive in Minas Tirith, bearing the traditional Red Arrow with which Gondor calls upon its sworn ally Rohan (no watchfires involved, either). However, this change resulted in the “lighting of the beacons” scene in Return of the King (2003) (x), one of the best—most beautiful and inspiring—depictions of pure hope in cinematic or maybe any media history. In this cause and effect, we see at work one of the fundamental underlying diegetically mythological and non-diegetically thematic principles of Tolkien’s world, that the good shall ever result from evil, and the truest good from the darkest evil. In this essay I will

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Oh boy, but what if Excalibur *was* a cursed sword. Might explain some things maybe

Concept: cursed blade rehabilitation center. Destroying a sentient weapon is expensive and highly unethical, so adventurers bring them to the center where highly trained staff can care for them and eventually find them forever homes. It turns out most cursed weapons are products of trauma and are not strictly evil themselves. Some blades turn out to be fiercely protective companions. Others don't even want to be weapons at all, finding joy in simple work like blacksmithing or farming. Most blades just need to be loved.

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Hmmm hm. Cinderella retelling where Bluebeard is her stepfather. Her mother marries the baron, and she’s given a key, and she goes where she shouldn’t, and there are no brothers to rescue her, and that leaves Cinderella with Bluebeard.

And it’s. Strange. He hasn’t dealt with stepchildren before, and it’s like a pebble in his shoe. He doesn’t entirely know what to do about it.

And this is a problem for him, she knows. Her mother is in the basement, hidden away where he can ignore, but she is unavoidable. He should kill her, she knows, but she also knows that there are rules here that even he can’t ignore. She never broke the rules. She never goes where she mustn’t. She must live. He cannot touch her.

For now, obedience turns out to be an acceptable rebellion.