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To: Russell Hank.

Hello, Beliau.

I made a little gift for you. I don't know whether you'd like it or not because this present is truly a mess... Sebenarnya I was planning to give another present. Namun, Tumblr-ku tiba-tiba error dan jadi error untuk editing the medias. So here it goes. Tighten your seat and be prepared. I love you so much!

P.s. Yang harusnya jadi goodbye letter malah nggak bisa dipost... Tapi karena aku bingung mau dikemanain kalau enggak aku post. Jadinya aku include walaupun bakal kelihatan goofy, yaaa. You can see me complaining with my thin patience in the comment section. :P

With love, Catherine Blanc.

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Why I Correlate Kakak as Doberman and Me as Maltese

"But, dogs overwhe-" Ssshhhhhh. Take it or leave it, mon homme. 🥰🫵🏻

Doberman is known as a calm, collected, yet scary dog. They're known for their loyal personality and smart ways to protect their master. Remember the cat my cat died? I couldn't erase the "awee that was so Doberman of him" voices in my head while I was doing my paper. Therefore, Doberman is my boyfriend.

Why maltese and me? We don't care about anything. Head is empty, just bite, bark, love, rainbow, flowers, foods, playtime, and our Master. We are devoted to our master and if our master is happy, we would be 1000 times happier. If our master is sad, we still feel happy and probably we'll end up running onto our master's lap with a smile! Anything that makes you happy, makes me happy sayang.

(Bloopers)

The handsome demon, Russell Hank and his little Cathy-bee 🐝 (you can create a sacred demonic contract with humans and I'll sting them with my deadly-bee-butt as their punishment!)

Kakak joining his little girlfriend to sleep

We all know whose idea is this (the one that smiles oh so happily, she managed to convince his scary BF to dress all in pink).

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Perhaps, it's a curse in disguise: to be who you are, to not be able to taste how sweet your mouth feels and how lulling your words are. Fortunately, the universe gave me the privilege to feel how sweet your mouth feels when it melts on mine, and how sweet your words are when you chant my name. The sweetness of your words remind me of a specific God that I learned before, Hedylogos.

Hedylogos is the part of Erotes (the winged Gods of love). I was stuck between correlating you to Pothos, the God of passionate yearning, or Hedylogos. However, I think Pothos─or I shall exemplify him as the feeling of passionate yearning... He couldn't capture the sweetness of yours. You are so sweet, over and under, in and out, day and night. Your sweetness remains as something factual, everlasting, and spellbinding. So sweet that I have never been in my sober state since the very thoughts of you came.

A sweetness that is withal inevitable, the sweetest spot of yours is your words, my Sir. I love the way you always lace your words oh so beautifully. Though in the relationship I am the beautiful one; but for once let me reckon that your way with your words are the most beautiful one. I love the way you talk sweet to me...

Unfortunately, Hedylogos is not a very common God that people know. Thus, I don't have any facts of him that I can correlate to you, my dear. However, I love the fact that he's not very well known and uncommon. It makes it more intimate. I can assure no one would correlate you to him except me. That's the end of this post! My Hedylogos, your words grapple me like a deadly vine. Please, please, oh please... Bewitch me with your words! ♡_♡

♥︎ With love, your Goddess of kittens (if that exists I guess?).

P.s. Platonically, I am a big fan of your words. Don't ever stop reading and writing yaa, sayang. Even until your hair turns grey, I hope you'll keep writing.

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I don't play violin anymore... Tapi ini salah satu record-ku dari dua tahun yang lalu, yang aku selalu keep by myself karena malu kalau aku beri ke orang. Namun, I've mustered up enough confidence to give it to you! Tanganku kepleset di tengah-tengah jadi suaranya aneh... It was my favorite song when I was in high school. Enjoy my little tribute, Kakak!

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"Why me?" might or might not have ever crossed your mind. I believe, the man named Russell Hank is confident enough with all of his charismatic characteristics to answer the question correctly. However, if you put it this way; "Why did Catherine choose me?" you won't have guessed the right answer before you read this letter. So, my Sir, relax your muscles and read this letter with a smile on your face, pretty please? ♡

The last chapter: Why, You.

Because it's you. It is you I want to be together with. Because it's you who complete me by whole─connecting the messy dots and turning them into a coherent pattern. You make life feels less insufferable, it is easy for me to breathe when you are around.

My Angel, my handsome Angel. How could you be so ethereal while having the devil's wonders inside you? I love you as you keep torturing me. When you're near, for me to touch yet too far to reach─my head feels dizzy. What sin did I make in my previous life for me to suffer like this? To love you, to put a sacred dagger in my heart.