awkward-august

[awkward-august]

Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?

I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who “rests his eyes” during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.

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The funniest part of Sinners was when the Native Americans just said “yeahhh good luck with that”

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Poor Sammie played literally his first gig and immediately got the worst fan to ever exist

[awkward-august]

just saw sinners and i can safely say that michael b jordan looked so slutty in his bloody tank top emptying entire gun clips into kkk members. immediate 10/10

[awkward-august]

The funniest part of Sinners was when the Native Americans just said “yeahhh good luck with that”

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I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service.

A classic thread that every fan of outdoorsy-innawoods creepypasta should read. Haven’t heard of this yet? You’re in for a treat!

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 1/8) 

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 2/8)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 3/8)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 4/8)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 5/8)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 6/8)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 7/8)

I’m a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest Service, I have some stories to tell (Part 8/8)

Enjoy! Sleep with your lights on!

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"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[awkward-august]

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

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Helmeppo: If there’s one thing I learned in my life, it’s to set people’s expectations real low, so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.

Helmeppo: And then I learned that this strategy doesn't work on Garp or Bogard, so I'm back at square one.

[awkward-august]

I love personalization. I love stickers on water bottles and on laptops. I love shitty marker drawing on the toes of converse. I love hand embroidered doodles on jeans. I love posters on walls. I love knick knacks on shelves. I love jewelry with goofy charms. I love when people take things and make them theirs.

[awkward-august]